"Mia..." she tried shus.h.i.+ng the kid but when I saw little Mia"s face fall I moved forward.
"Come her Zania." I pulled her up from the bed and into my arms, pulling her in close so that I could whisper in her ear.
"Anything for her remember? I covered her mouth with mine before she could argue me to death.
The kiss turned into a little more than I"d intended though. It was the first time I"d kissed her since the last time I held her six years ago.
This is why I had refused to share this one last intimacy with her. Somehow I knew that it would be like this. That that fire would singe me again.
The old feelings came rus.h.i.+ng back to the surface again and I had a hard time pulling back from her. Our daughter stared wide-eyed at us from her perch on the bed, her eyes bright with excitement.
"I"ll see you two later, be good for mommy okay princess?"
"Yes daddy."
"That"s my girl." I pulled the phone as soon as I left the hospital to check on the progress at the house.
I knew it was a pain in the a.s.s for everyone that I"d called on, to get things done just right at the last minute, but I was paying them good money.
I felt like I was racing against the clock ever since that day she came to my office, like I haven"t had time to stop and breathe.
But the reality is, there was no time, time was the one commodity I didn"t have, that my child didn"t have.
Whenever I felt like saying f.u.c.k it, all I had to do was remember her, remember what was at stake. And even having to betray my very soul by lying with her mother again, I will do it for her.
Chapter 10.
At the office, things seemed to be running smoothly, which it should since I"d been taking care of things from home.
"I"m just here to sign some stuff so if anyone calls check with me before patching them through, unless it"s Zania or the hospital."
"Yes sir it"s good to see you sir." I hadn"t shared too much of what was going on with my a.s.sistant that wasn"t my style. All she knew was that there was a family emergency that needed my full attention.
I closed myself off in my office and got caught up on some stuff in between calling the decorator back at the house as well as the inspector. I wanted to make sure everything was fine for my daughter"s homecoming, which should be soon.
I was there no more than an hour and was about to leave when the door was opened abruptly and in walked Camille.
It was a really bad sign that I hadn"t given her a second thought since the last time we spoke. Not even when I was buried to the hilt inside Zania had she once crossed my mind. I don"t know what that said about either of us, or what the f.u.c.k we had been doing for the last five years.
"So, you"re here. I"m a.s.suming your phone is broken and that"s why you haven"t gotten in touch with me in the last few days."
"I told you on the phone, something came up and now was not a good time."
"I spoke to your mother, she was kind enough to share what has been going on with you."
"She had no right to do that."
"I dare say she thought as the lives of her future grandchildren depends on it, that she should intervene. And I can"t believe after what that little trollop did to you that you don"t have the good sense to steer clear."
"You"ve lost me, if my mother told you what"s going on then you know that I already have a daughter. As to what happened between Zania and I, that"s no one"s business but ours."
"So it"s true then, you"re living with her." She was not too pleased by that, as was evidenced by the way she fumed.
"I see we"re at cross purposes again. I know that women put stock in numbers I get that now. But when in the last five years did I ever tell you that I planned on marrying you?"
"I thought it was a given. That"s what we do, people like us, from our circles. I waited all these years and for what?"
"n.o.body held a gun to your head and forced you into my bed, you came because you wanted to. Not once did I ever tell you or even hinted that we were gonna get married, so whatever you worked out in your own head is all on you."
"I see, just like that, one minute we"re discussing wedding plans and the next you"re living with someone else."
I didn"t bother to answer, since she seemed to know everything already anyway, and judging by her ability to make s.h.i.+t up in her head I figured I"d let her go for it.
I"m not too keen on people making up my mind for me and it seems my mother and her has been doing just that for quite some time.
I held some of the blame for that of course, my own indifference made it easy for them to move in and take over.
The reality is that I had been asleep these last five years. I was just going through the motions, performing as was expected, and not once had I given my heart to her; but if it suited her to believe that s.h.i.+t, more power to her.
I guess my non-answer wasn"t good enough, because the storm cloud on her face was growing darker as she stood in front of my desk.
Life really likes f.u.c.king with my a.s.s. Had Zania not shown up when she did, I might"ve gone ahead and married this woman just for the sake of necessity.
A woman that I knew in my heart I didn"t love, because someone else already lived there. Oh no you f.u.c.king don"t, you"re not that f.u.c.king stupid Cord.
Don"t do this s.h.i.+t Helmsworth you f.u.c.k, she almost finished you off the last time, you barely held onto your sanity by the skin of your f.u.c.king teeth.
What the f.u.c.k is she gonna do to you next you dumb f.u.c.k? It wasn"t working this time. I was afraid last night had changed things, just as I"d been afraid it would.
Maybe there was a way...no, f.u.c.k no. You know you"re still in love with her right? I give a f.u.c.k; get the f.u.c.k outta my head bro.
She interrupted my little pep talk with myself. "So what exactly are you saying here Cord?"
s.h.i.+t, I wasn"t in the mood to deal with this f.u.c.kery today. I had a lot of s.h.i.+t to do for my daughter, among other things, none of which involved beating this f.u.c.king dead horse into the ground.
"Something has come up in my life, something that"s more important than anything that came before. I have a daughter, a little girl that needs me right now because she"s ill. The best way for me to help her is to be with her mother..."
"You"re going back to her?" I guess she hadn"t been expecting that, it seemed to have taken the wind out of her sails a little bit.
"No, I"m going to f.u.c.k her to save my kid." She swallowed hard and looked fl.u.s.tered as she fiddled around with the strap of her purse. I guess that was too much truth for her, she f.u.c.king asked.
I"d been trying to avoid this s.h.i.+t because the more I thought about it, the more I didn"t think I owed her any explanation. Like I reminded her, we never made any promises to each other. She was free to leave whenever, and so was I.
Why suddenly we were the state"s hottest couple was beyond me. Now I have to be the bad guy because she built f.u.c.king castles in the sky and casted me as the prince. Where the f.u.c.k had she been the last five years?
"What if we"d already been married, what then?"
"Then I would"ve asked you for a divorce and f.u.c.ked her to save my kid. There are no easy answers here; a child"s life is at stake, my child"s life. There isn"t a d.a.m.n thing I won"t do to save her, nothing."
"How do you even know the child is yours? She could be lying you know."
"I know mine when I see it." The child, as well as the mother; f.u.c.k.
Cord you dumb son of a b.i.t.c.h don"t you do it. I had more control than that, more sense too. But I knew that whatever I felt for her was still there and there was no use fooling myself any longer.
I could hate the fact that I still wanted her, but I can"t lie to myself about it. The fact that I still don"t know why she left haunts me. Before I do anything else that"s the first thing I need to find out once and for all.
I knew from the moment she stepped back into my life that this is where we were headed. Somehow I knew that I was going to end up inside her again, but at what cost this time?
She gutted me the last time, this time I won"t give her the chance. This time it will be all on my terms.
I know what she is already, there"s no way I was going to trust her. This time I was going in with both eyes wide open.
My d.i.c.k might still be calling some of the shots this time, but I"m smart enough not to let my heart get tangled up with that snake again.
There"s Mia to consider as well, whatever I do to her mother, cannot come back on her. That"s another thing, I now have something she wants, because there"s no way she was ever leaving here with my daughter.
I"ve already made good on my threat to put someone on her, along with some other safety measures. I had a necklace for my daughter that was never to come off her neck. Wherever she went I would be able to find her.
The s.h.i.+t had cost an arm and a leg but I would"ve paid double if it meant keeping her safe.
I had yet to find something better than the ratty bag Zania carried to tag, but I don"t see her accepting jewelry from me, so I had to come up with something.
Speaking of which, I put my hand in my pocket and felt the ring on a string I kept there.
I"d always told myself that I carried it as a reminder, of what a dupe I"d been. Now I"m not so sure. This was hers; I"d had it made for her, with my whole heart in it.
"So this is it?" f.u.c.k, I was so lost in my own thoughts I"d forgotten she was there again. Had I really spent five years with her?
It was like walking out into the sunlight after being in the dark for too long. Those first moments after your vision has cleared and everything is crystal.
She wasn"t even close to being my type. I liked the vibrant beauty and vivacity of someone like Zania. With her amazingly beautiful eyes and all that wild red hair.
Camille was a plain brunette, not unattractive, but nowhere near Zania"s exotic beauty. Camille was more old world cla.s.s. Salt water pearls and twin sets.
She had one of those stick thin bodies, none of the softness of Zania"s womanly curves. My c.o.c.k thickened just thinking about the plush softness of her t.i.ts as I laid on top of her, f.u.c.king her deep and hard...f.u.c.k me.
Camille made a sound that alerted me once again to her presence and I was done. It was time to put this s.h.i.+t to bed.
There was no easy way to do this, all that can come from prolonging this farce is even more heartache. Though I was pretty sure Camille was no more in love with me than I her.
She was in love with my money, which was considerably more than her family"s fortune. She was looking forward to a continued life of leisure on my dime.
I"ve always known that, that"s why we were so great together; we were both using each other. It"s not my fault she didn"t see the endgame.
"I"m afraid so, and when you"re telling this story remember to keep my kid out of it or I won"t be pleased. Whatever beef you have is with me. If I hear Zania or Mia"s name bandied about in anything less than glowing terms, I will know where to come looking and it won"t be pretty."
"So it"s come to this has it? You"re threatening me for her, for them."
"Don"t think of it as a threat, think of it as a friendly warning. You see I know you, I know how your mind works. If you or anyone else in this town says or does anything to harm my daughter or her mother you will bring down my wrath on your heads.
I don"t intend to make this a daily habit this back and forth so let"s clear everything up once and for all before the truth gets distorted somewhere between here and your car.
We never lived together, you had your place I had mine. You"ve spent nights at my place, and sometimes a long weekend, I"ve slept at your place twice.
There was never any discussion of marriage until the last couple of months. And my mother was the one who started it.
I haven"t f.u.c.ked you in three months." She flinched at that one. That had been a bone of contention between us, and what I see now as the beginning of the end.
I always used the excuse of the deal whenever she brought it up, but now I know that that was just a smoke screen.
The reality is that I had been growing tired of us, and more truthfully, the minute Zania first reentered my head, was the minute I was done.
"I never made you any promises so none have been broken. I never once stood in the way of you seeing someone else, in fact if I recall I told you-you should."
"You knew that that"s not what I wanted."
"That maybe, but it"s what was on the table. I"m sorry you built it up to more than it was, but at the end of the day I can"t be held responsible for your inner thoughts since you never shared them with me.
Had you told me this is where you were headed, I would"ve told you a long time ago to cut your losses.
I never had any intentions on marrying you. Sorry." There"s only one woman in this world that I would ever marry. The f.u.c.k?
"Is that about right? Did I leave anything out?"
"Yes, except it doesn"t take into consideration all the time and effort I invested..."
"I invested the same amount of time I think. I went to many a s.h.i.+ndig that I had no interest in to please you as well. The bottom line here is that I"m not willing to throw my daughter out just so you can pretend to your friends that we"re the couple of the century.
Had you been honest with them as well as yourself, you wouldn"t have to be trying to save face now."
"Well what am I supposed to tell people? Do you know how embarra.s.sing this is for me? To be thrown over for this loose female who once walked out on you and some whelp she"s brought back here to trick you?"
"That whelp is my kid, now get the f.u.c.k out of my office."
"Cord you can"t..."
"I told you not to say anything about my daughter did you think I was f.u.c.king kidding?
My little girl is sick, even if you were the great love of my life and I had to do this to save her I would. Not you or anyone else means more to me, and it doesn"t matter that she only just came into my life.