"About that, how does Camille play into all this?" I walked her backwards towards the couch and pulled her down onto my lap.
With my hand resting protectively over my child in her womb, I pulled her head back on my shoulder.
"Your mom introduced us. At first, I thought she was trying to hook me up with a friend since I didn"t really know anyone in your circle.
Then she started dropping these hints about you two, your mother I mean. Pretty soon Camille had joined in and I was starting to become confused.
Things started to become blurry, but still I didn"t give in. I couldn"t bring myself to believe that you were cheating on me with her.
When she saw that it wasn"t working I guess your mom decided to pull off the mask of pretense and show her true colors.
That"s when she told me and showed me that she had all this information about my family. I hadn"t even shared most of that with you, not because I was ashamed, but because I was so happy for the first time in my life that I didn"t want anything to spoil it.
When I was with you, I didn"t cry myself to sleep worrying about my sick grandmother that I couldn"t help, or the fact that we didn"t have much.
I just wanted you; that"s all. But she twisted everything and convinced me that she could get you to see things the way she did.
She said I was only after you for your money and that all she had to do was show you what she"d learned and there"s no way you wouldn"t believe that I wasn"t a gold digger."
"Did I hear you tell her that you never cashed that check?"
"I didn"t."
"Why not?" I kissed her forehead as the sweetness of what all of this meant went through me.
"I just couldn"t that"s all, because it felt as if I did that, it would somehow make her right."
"And your grandmother, I wasn"t paying much attention the last time we met, is she still sick?"
"She"s in remission thank heavens, but I"m always afraid of the sickness coming back you know. Still I would never have cashed that check."
My mother had to have known that she hadn"t cashed that check. If there"s one thing I know about my mother it"s that she"s very meticulous when it comes to money.
Which meant that even had she believed that Zania was a money grubbing b.i.t.c.h that would"ve proven to her that she was wrong.
Wouldn"t any mother who really loved her son be pleased by that? Wouldn"t she then admit her mistake and try to fix the mess that she"d made?
Instead she"d fed my hate. My guts burned at the memory of all she"d done and said in those early days after Zania had left.
It"s funny, but I don"t think as mad as I had been at her back then, that I could"ve done any of the things I imagined doing to her; too bad for my mother and her little helper that I don"t feel the same about them.
"You almost destroyed me."
"I know, I"m sorry. I was suffering too, in the first few weeks I thought I was going to die.
Then I found out I was pregnant and I was so happy, after I got over being scared out of my wits.
I"d had to leave school that was one of your mom"s conditions. I couldn"t stay there because you would obviously have known where to find me. I could"ve applied somewhere else, but by then grandma was worse and I had no choice.
I would"ve had to go home anyway when it was all said and done because she needed me.
So there were no prospects for the bright future I"d envisioned for myself, and with a new baby coming I knew only fear for the first couple of weeks.
But then gran helped me to see things different. I"d told her all about you and she helped me to see that I would have a little piece of you for always; that the baby was a blessing and not a curse."
I let her talk it out never interrupting. I"m sure she had no idea that she was digging my mother"s grave deeper with each word.
"You do understand why I couldn"t contact you though right, I was terrified that your mom or that Camille person were going to take my baby away from me. But I missed you everyday."
I pulled her head back and looked down at her, ready to forgive all even though I was p.i.s.sed that she hadn"t come to me back then. So much could"ve been avoided.
"Just one thing, did you really not know that you were carrying my child when you let them run you off?"
"No, I promise I didn"t; had I known, maybe I would"ve fought harder to stay. Do you forgive me for being so stupid?"
"Honestly, I"m p.i.s.sed as f.u.c.k at you. I"ll deal with those two later, but you, you did more harm than they did."
I could see by the way she tried to pull away from me that she didn"t agree but that was too bad.
She"d called the shots for the last six years, and made all the wrong plays.
"You don"t get it do you? You were the one who owed me your loyalty. We hadn"t known each other that long but we knew enough.
We made promises to each other. Do you know what you did by running off? You showed your lack of faith and trust in my ability to keep you safe, to protect you.
In doing so, you robbed me of my child; it"s going to take me a long time to get over that one.
Like I said, they bear a huge part of the blame, but baby you f.u.c.ked up more. Don"t cry, I"m not saying that I don"t understand. I just want you to know my views on the whole mess. This way you won"t let that s.h.i.+t happen again."
She buried her head in my neck and cried like her heart was breaking. I could think of no other way to calm her down than by putting her beneath me.
I think we both needed that connection, needed to feel alive in each other"s arms.
I wasn"t as gentle as I probably should be when I tore at her clothes, or when I surged up inside her.
" Look at me." I pulled her head back to ensure that she did. "You told my...that female that you loved me, is that true?" She swallowed and tried to turn her head but I held it in place.
"Answer me Zania." I stroked in and out of her slowly while looking into her eyes. I know she could see all that I felt for her written there. "Tell me."
"Yes, I do, I don"t think I ever stopped, though I came close a time or..." I covered her mouth with mine to end her words.
"I love you too sweet Zania, with everything I"ve got. I"ll never let you leave me again not f.u.c.king ever. You"re mine and you"re going to stay mine, all of you." I put my hand on her still flat stomach as I f.u.c.ked into her.
Chapter 20.
CORD.
I didn"t tell her anything about my plans after we left for home, but my mind hadn"t stopped working since I"d walked up to that door and got the shock of my life.
As I stood in the doorway of our new home looking at my daughter run to meet me, I made up my mind to do whatever it took to keep her safe from now on, both of them.
I"d been as much to blame as Zania was for what happened to us I realized. We"d both failed our daughter, her by believing my mother"s bulls.h.i.+t lies, and me for doing the same after the fact.
I should never have let her go in the first place, and now as I look back, I see that I had given in too easily, never again.
"Get Mia dressed to go out Zania it"s time she met her grandfather." There was no point in putting anything off any longer.
I had her love now, and there were no longer any questions left between us. I could go ahead and do what I"d started all those years ago. Once again I ran my finger over her ring in my pocket as I thought of the best time to give it to her, but first things first.
"But your mom said..."
"Please don"t mention her to me again, and if you must you may call her by her name. I"m beginning to think that everything out of her mouth is a lie, including this.
It"s probably just another one of her power plays. But now that I"m thinking clearly, I don"t see why learning that he has a granddaughter should make him sick."
I was pretty sure of the outcome once I laid things out for dad. At least I was hoping for a certain outcome. I know my mother"s only weakness is money.
I also know that the best way to hurt her was to cut off her supply or at least cut it down tremendously.
Had it only been Zania and I who had been hurt, I might have found an ounce of compa.s.sion for my...Joy, if not for Camille. But for what they cost my daughter, there was no f.u.c.king way.
I headed to my office to make a quick call while she went off to get our daughter changed. I wasn"t going to let the sun go down without making them pay.
The phone rang three times before it was answered and I just got right to it. "I want the loan called on the Le Chic gallery downtown."
"You mean the Foster place, but?"
"No questions just make sure it"s done before end of business today."
"Consider it done." I made a few more calls on that end to make sure that the job was a thorough one, by the time I was through, I would"ve f.u.c.ked up a few dreams. That"ll teach them to f.u.c.k with me and mine.
One down one more to go! Camille loves that place. She"d sunk everything she had into its opening three years ago, and it was barely starting to creep into the black.
She can"t afford to pay that loan, which means she"d lose it and I just made a move that would make it next to impossible for her family to offer her more than a roof over her head if they didn"t want to feel my wrath.
That was just the beginning though, for every f.u.c.king year that my daughter was sick without me there to hold her like a dad should, I was going to make her a.s.s pay in one way or another.
I made note of the date; maybe I"d make it an annual thing until the time was up.
Now for my dad"s wife! I thought back to every time I thought she was being a concerned mother. The times I was grateful to her and went so far as to praise her for her care of me.
When all along she was the cause of it all. I know she has a sickness, I see that now. And the only way to protect my family from her venom was to cut her off completely.
I got the ball rolling with Helmsworth Enterprise, the company that she took so much pride in; the one that I have been in control of for the past two years.
It didn"t take much effort to move things around the way I wanted. She had no real say in the running of the company, other than as my dad"s wife and the respect that afforded her.
Two phone calls later and she was on the do not resuscitate list. That wasn"t enough though, mother or not, what she"d done was beyond f.u.c.ked and I"ve always believed the punishment should fit the crime.
With my mind set, I went in search of the two of them. "My girls ready?" I liked the way her eyes lit up when I couldn"t resist kissing her lips, which more than pleased our daughter.
I lifted Mia in my arms and took my girl"s hand as we walked out to the car. Mia wanted to know everything about her grandfather once I told her where we were headed, and it was as she was asking me these questions that I realized the significance of this one little girl knowing as many of her family members as possible.
I felt a chill go through me at yet another revelation of just how evil the woman I"d called my mother really was.
Her car was there when the driver pulled up. Good! I wonder what story, if any, she"d told dad. She couldn"t hope to hide the fact that she was now dead to me, so she"d obviously have to come up with something.
I had a second of doubt when the butler opened the door. What if the shock really was too much for him? But then I thought of the man and I knew better.
No, he"ll be fine, I know my dad. He"d love both my girls I was sure of it.
He"d been very nice to Zania the handful of times they"d met before, even went so far as to tease me about holding onto her once.
He"d been bitterly disappointed when she"d left. Hopefully the shock of her return wouldn"t cause him to keel over.
I didn"t wait to be announced, just went where I knew I"d find him this time of day.
He was sitting, gazing out the window into the south garden from his chair. He wasn"t confined to the chair, but he still tires easily and it was just safer.
It still gives me a jolt to see him like this though. The once robust man, who was and still is my own personal hero, was almost gone.
The doctors couldn"t find any reason why he wasn"t mending faster, and had come to the conclusion that it was his mind. Hopefully today would give him the push he needed.
Knowing that he had a granddaughter and another on the way, just might give the old guy what he needed.
"Hi dad." He turned with a welcoming smile that quickly turned into a look of surprise.
"Son, I didn"t know you were coming, your mother didn"t say..."
"Carlton..." She came bounding into the room, probably alerted by the servants, but it was too late, there was nothing she could do about it now.
"Carlton I thought you weren"t feeling so well, shouldn"t we do this another time?"
"It"s never too much for me to see my son and look he"s brought me some friends. Who"s that you"ve got there son, a new playmate?"
I let Mia down off my shoulder and stood her in front of him, waiting for what was going o come next.
He took one look at Mia and then his eyes flew to mine.
"Son what have you done?" He reached out with a shaking hand to touch his granddaughter"s little face.