Chapter 63 Chapter 63- I Can’t (Part 2)
Chapter 63- I Can"t (Part 2)
Kai"s words echoed in the hospital room and made Eva freeze again, this time while still hugging Kai tightly. If it wasn"t for his calming scent and his warmth, she would"ve panicked immediately but because she was now feeling his presence close to her and touching his body, she could barely keep her composure.
"Why…? No, don"t answer, I understand that I forced myself on you. I"m sorry…" As she was about to step back and wipe her tears thinking that she might"ve been too forceful on Kai with her selfish request, the latter did something completely unexpected.
His hand moved and rested on her back before he stopped her motion completely, still in their intimate position.
"It"s not… that. This isn"t something… I can stop." Kai said slowly. The effect of the coma was still apparent to him.
Eva, who was still shocked over the fact that Kai had suddenly hugged her back, woke up from her trance.
"What? You can"t stop it? Stop what? What do you mean?" She asked worriedly.
"..." Kai felt complicated.
A side of him didn"t want to tell her for various reasons. But, another side said otherwise and the two clashed in his consciousness. In the end, he sighed and decided to compromise.
"I can"t tell you what happened. But, what you should know is that this is something I can"t stop, and if my calculations are correct… I will die in 2 years or so." He said.
Die… That word alone was akin to a bomb landing on Eva"s mind.
"Die? Who is going to die? Kai? Why would he die? What nonsense! Kai is invincible, he can"t die. This is a joke. Yeah, it"s definitely a joke. He must be trying to tease me. There is no other logical answer to that." Eva"s mind couldn"t accept that at all.
She knew Kai more than anyone else and she knew that he was invincible. She had never seen him being defeated or even slightly troubled by an opponent. He was also immune to all poison, all sickness, and all kinds of weather conditions.
How could someone like that die in 2 years? That didn"t make sense at all.
"K-Kai, please stop joking like that." She tried to smile slightly as she wanted to pull back slightly to look him in the eyes. Although the boy was still holding her, he seemed to allow her to do that much.
The duo stared at each other from a very close distance, their noses almost touching. Neither of them cared about their intimate position, not when an important topic like this was being discussed.
"I"m not joking," Kai replied calmly. "My life will end soon." He reaffirmed his words.
"..." Eva"s red eyes widened slightly as she kept searching for even a shred of humor in Kai"s eyes. Sadly, she found none.
"Die… In two years?"
"Yes. However, that number might be changing since the symptoms came even stronger this time. So it might be less than 2 years." Kai added.
For some reason, Eva found herself rather calm when after hearing those words. She thought this would make her react in a different way but no, she simply felt eerily calm and serene.
"Why?"
"I can"t tell you."
"Is there a way to stop this from happening?"
"No."
"How high are the chances of a cure existing that you aren"t aware of?"
"Close to zero."
"Why can"t your body naturally heal from it?"
"I don"t know."
Questions and answers kept going back and forth between the two in a calm manner. It was as if they were talking about what to have for dinner and that made it even weirder.
"I had this condition since the moment I could remember and I knew my life won"t be long. But, because I was stuck with the Guild, I had no idea what to do at the time. So, I decided that living it the way I want is the right thing to do and quit the underworld. I wanted to experience what a normal life could be like before I die."
A life of blood wasn"t a life that Kai enjoyed. He found it disgusting and horrible even though he was the best at it. The souls of each person he killed weighed down on him like an extra weight. It reached a point where even started questioning why he was alive? why was he even still working as a hitman? Why was he born with such a power that was akin to a curse rather than a blessing?
He questioned his purpose, his desires, and what he saw and didn"t see. They were all things that bugged Kai"s consciousness constantly and made his already horrible life even worse.
That"s why he decided to throw everything away and escape. Start a new life somewhere far away where no one could find him and no one could control him.
Then, five years pa.s.sed and Kai"s life was starting to become more colorful. It wasn"t as flamboyant and as exhilarating as his life as a hitman but this simplicity and peacefulness taught him how to be a human, to a certain extent.
It taught him that life is sometimes more about the smaller details rather than the big ones and that joy could be found in the most mundane of things.
"I already decided that this is how I will die. I had enough of killing. So, the most logical thing you could do now is leave and return to your life. Forget that I exist. I can erase your memory now, that should be more than enough." He said in a monotonous tone. However, his eyes were looking rather displeased. He didn"t like what he was saying but his mind told him it was the most logical solution.
Eva can"t simply keep dedicating her life to him. Simply because when he dies, she would find herself with no purpose and that would be as good as death for a human being. A life without a purpose isn"t a life. So, erasing her memory is the best way to do that.
"With this, I paid back her favor." He thought in his head.
Although Kai was way stronger than Eva, he can"t easily erase his existence from her life as it was one of the key memories she has. The only way he could do that is if Eva herself gave him access to those memories without any restraints.
Silence took over the room for a very long time. Eva"s face was still close to Kai"s albeit her eyes were now closed as if she was trying to digest everything he said.
"Do you hate my presence next to you?" She asked.
"..."
"Please, answer me."
"... No." Kai shook his head. That"s honestly what he thought. Although Eva was reckless and childish at times, he never hated her presence. In fact, one of the reasons why he left the underworld was because he didn"t want to get attached to her.
He knew that will only harm her and he wouldn"t want to harm the one that saved his life.
That"s when Eva"s eyes opened again and stared back at him. A myriad of emotions could be seen in her two irises, like stars twinkling brightly.
"Then, I"m not leaving. I said it before and I will say it again a million times if you want. I will never leave your side, Kai. Even if you go to the deepest parts of h.e.l.l, I will follow you." She said as she held his face with her hands. "Please, don"t underestimate how much I love you. Do you think a mere illness will make me give up? I will find the cure. I will scour every inch of this world to find it if that"s what it takes. Even if you give up on finding the cure, I will never do. I will never give up on you."
Then, a warm smile, as warm as the sun appeared on Eva"s face before she closed the distance between them and kissed Kai"s forehead with her soft lips.