Hocken and Hunken

Chapter 17

""Bias," said he, "this is the gentleman that caused the mischief inside. His name"s Philp, and he"d like to make your acquaintance."

BOOK II.

CHAPTER IX.

FIRST SUSPICIONS.

It was August, and the weather for weeks had been superb. It was also the week of Troy"s annual regatta, and a whole fleet of yachts lay anch.o.r.ed in the little harbour, getting ready their riding lights.

Two or three belated ones--like large white moths in the grey offing-- had yet to make the rendezvous, and were creeping towards it with all canvas piled: for the wind--light and variable all day--had now at sunset dropped almost to a flat calm.

"A few pounds to be picked up out yonder," commented Captain Cai, "if the tugs had any enterprise."

Captain "Bias reached out a hand for the telescope. "That yawl--the big fellow--"d do better to take in her jib-tops"le. The faster it"s pullin" her through the water the more it"s pullin" her to leeward.

She"d set two p"ints nigher with it down."

"The fella can"t make up his mind about it, either: keeps it shakin"

half the time."

The two friends sat in "Bias"s summerhouse, the scent of their tobacco mingling, while they discoursed, with the fragrance of late roses, nicotianas, lemon verbenas. "Discoursed," did I say? Well, let the word pa.s.s: for their talk was discursive enough. But when at intervals one or the other opened his mouth, his utterance, though it took the form of a comment upon men and affairs, was in truth but the breathing of a deep inward content. On the table between them Captain Cai"s musical box tinkled the waltz from "Faust."

They had become house-occupiers early in May, and at first with a few bare sticks of furniture a-piece. But by dint of steady attendance at the midsummer auctions they had since done wonders. Captain Cai had acquired, among other things, a refrigerator, a linen-press, and a set of "The Encyclopaedia Britannica" (edition of 1881); Captain "Bias a poultry run (in sections) and a framed engraving of "The Waterloo Banquet,"--of which, strange to say, he found himself possessor directly through his indifference to art; for, oppressed by the heat of the saleroom, he had yielded to brief slumber (on his legs) while the pictures were being disposed of, and awaking at the sound of his own name was aware that he had secured this bargain by an untimely and unpremeditated nod.

Such small accidents, however, are a part of the fun of house-furnishing. On the whole our two friends had bought judiciously, and now looking around them, could say that their experiment had hitherto prospered; that, so far, the world was kind.

Especially were they fortunate (thanks to Fancy Tabb) precisely where bachelor householders are apt to miss good fortune--in the matter of domestic service. The boy Palmerston, to be sure, suffered from a trick--acquired (Fancy a.s.sured them) under workhouse treatment and eradicable by time and gentle handling--of bursting into tears upon small provocation or none. But Mrs Bowldler was a treasure. Of this there could be no manner of doubt; and in nothing so patently as in relation with the boy Palmerston did the gold in Mrs Bowldler"s nature-- the refined gold--reveal itself.

It was suspected that she had once been a kitchen-maid in the West End of London: but a discreet veil hung over this past, and she never lifted it save by whatever of confession might be read into the words, "When we were in residence in Eaton Square,"--with which she preluded all reminiscences (and they were frequent) of the great metropolis.

Her true test as a good woman she pa.s.sed when--although she must have known the truth, being a confirmed innocent gossip--she chose to extend the same veil, or a corner of it, over the antecedents of Palmerston.

She said--

"The past is often enveloped. In the best families it is notoriously so. We know what we are, an" may speckilate on what we was; but what we"re to be, who can possibly tell? It might give us the creeps."

She said again: "Every man carries a b.u.t.ton in his knapsack, by which he may rise sooner or later to higher things. It was said by a Frenchman, and a politer nation you would not find."

Again: "Blood will tell, always supposin" you "ave it, and will excuse the expression."

Thus did Mrs Bowldler "turn her necessity to glorious gain," colouring and enlarging her sphere of service under the prismatic lens of romance.

In her conversation either cottage became a "residence," and its small garden "the grounds," thus:--

"Palmerston, inform Captain Hunken that dinner is served. You will find him in the grounds."

Or, "Where"s that boy?" Captain Cai might ask.

"Palmerston, sir? He is at present in the adjacent, cleaning the knives and forks."

She had indeed set this high standard of expression in the very act of taking service; when, being asked what wages she demanded, she answered, "If acceptable to you, sir, I would intimate eighteen guineas--and my viands."

"That"s two shilling short o" nineteen pound," said Captain Hunken.

"I thank you, sir"--Mrs Bowldler made obeisance--"but I have an attachment to guineas."

She identified herself with her employers by speaking of them in the first person plural: "No, we do not dress for dinner. Our rule is to dine in the middle of the day, as more agreeable to health." [A sigh.]

"Sometimes I wish we could persuade ourselves that vegetables look better on the side-table."

Such was Mrs Bowldler: and her housekeeping, no less vigilant than romantic, protected our two friends from a thousand small domestic cares.

"Committee-meeting, to-night?" asked "Bias.

"Eight o"clock: to settle up details--mark-boats, handicap, and the like. . . . It"s a wonder to me," said Cai reflectively, "how this regatta has run on, year after year. With Bussa for secretary, if you can understand such madness."

"They"ll be runnin" you for the next Parish Council, sure as fate."

Cai ignored this. "There"s the fireworks, too. n.o.body chosen yet to superintend "em, an" who"s to do it I don"t know, unless I take over that little job in addition."

"I thought the firm always sent a couple o" hands to fix an let "em off."

"So it does. They arrived a couple of hours ago--both drunk as Chloe."

"Plenty o" time to sleep it off between this an" then," opined "Bias comfortably.

"But they"re still _on_ the drink. Likely as not we shall find "em to-morrow in Highway lock-up, which is four miles from here. . . .

It happened once before," said Cai with a face of gloom, "and Bussa did the whole display by himself."

"Good Lord! How did it go off?"

"He can"t remember, except that it _did_ go off. _He_ was drunk, too-- drunk o" purpose: for, as he says very reas"nably, "twas the only way he could find the courage. The fellow isn" without public spirit, if he"d only apply it the right way. Toy tells me that he, for his part, saw it from his bedroom window--the Town Quay wasn"t safe, wi" the rocket-sticks fairly rainin"--an" the show wasn" a bad show, _if you looked at it horizontal_; but the gentry on the yachts derived next to no enjoyment from it, bein" occupied in gettin" up their anchors."

Before "Bias could comment on this, a footstep--light, yet audible between the tinkling notes of the musical box--drew the gaze of the pair to a small window on the right, outside of which lay the gravelled approach to their bower.

"May I come in?" asked a voice--a woman"s--with a pretty hesitation in its note: and Mrs Bosenna stood in the doorway.

"_Please_ keep your seats," she entreated as both arose awkwardly.

She added with a mirthful little laugh, "I heard the musical box playing away, and so I took French leave. Now, don"t tell me that I"m an intruder! It is only for a few minutes; and--strictly speaking, you know--the lease says I may enter at any reasonable time. Is this a reasonable time?"

They a.s.sured her, but still awkwardly, that she was welcome at any time.

Captain Cai found her a chair.

"So this," she said, looking around, "is where you sit together and talk disparagingly of our s.e.x. At least, that"s what Dinah a.s.sures me, though I don"t see how she can possibly know."

"Ma"am!" said Cai, "we were talkin", this very moment, o" fireworks: nothing more an" nothing less."

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