Madeleine took another step, hesitating, along the new road. She leaned against the counter to ease her aching body and put back her hair to look around her at the wreck and ruin of her husband"s business. She said in a faint voice: "I wonder if I could keep the pharmacy open. I used to help Jules with the accounts, I know a little about where he bought and how he kept his records. I wonder if I could--enough for the simpler things?"
"You have already," said the nun, as she went away, "and the first things you have given out are bandages for your enemies. G.o.d will not forget that."
Madeleine received this with an impatient shrug. She was not at all glad that her first act had been to help the suffering among her enemies. She had hated doing it, had only done it because of some confused sense of decency. She heartily wished she had not had it to do. But if it had been necessary, she would have done it again ... and yet to do it for those men who had murdered M. le Maire, so blameless and M. le Cure--so defenseless!... No, these were not the same men who lay bleeding to death in the Hospice to whom she had sent bandages. _They_ had not murdered ... as yet!
Her head throbbed feverishly. She renounced again the effort to think, and thrusting all this ferment down into her subconsciousness she turned to the urgent needs of the moment. It seemed to her that she could not breathe till she had set the pharmacy as far as possible in the order Jules had left it. This feeling, imperious and intense, was her only refuge against her certainty that Jules was killed, that she would never see him again. Without an attempt to set to rights even a corner of the desolated little home, upstairs, she began toiling up and down the cellar stairs carrying back the gla.s.s jars, the pots, the boxes, and bottles and drawers. It seemed to her, in her dazed confusion, that somehow she was doing something for Jules in saving his pharmacy which he had so much cared for, that she was almost keeping him from dying by working with all her might for him there....
In the middle of the morning she went upstairs and found that Sylvie, working with Raoul, had cleared the kitchen of the worst of the rubbish.
In a pot-closet under the sink there were two old saucepans which had not been stolen. Madeleine made a fire, stoically using her own broken-up furniture, and, putting a few potatoes (the last of their provisions) on to boil, sat down to nurse the hungry baby.
"_Maman_ dear," said Sylvie, still in the strained whisper of the days of terror. She could not speak aloud for weeks. "_Maman_ dear," she whispered, "in the salon, in the dining-room, I wanted to try to clean it, but it is all nasty, like where animals have been."
"Hush!" said her mother firmly. "Don"t think about that. Don"t look in there. It"ll make you sick if you do. Stay here, tend the fire, watch the baby, and play with Raoul." She outlined this program with decision and hurried back downstairs to go on with the execution of one conceived in the same spirit. If she could only get the pharmacy to look a little as it had when Jules had left it, it seemed to her that Jules would seem less lost to her.
She shoveled the incredible quant.i.ty of broken gla.s.s back through the shop into what had been her garden, hardening herself against a qualm of horror at the closer view of the wreckage there. The two big sycamore trees had been cut down and sawn into lengths to use for fuel in the open fire, the burned-out embers of which lay in a black ring where the arbor had stood.
She went back to her work hastily, knowing that if she stopped for an instant to look, she would be lost.
At noon she went upstairs, and with the children lunched on potatoes and salt.
She was putting the last of the innumerable drawers back in its place, after having tried it in all the other possible places, when a poorly dressed, rough-haired, scrawny little boy came into the shop. Madeleine knew him by sight, the six-year-old grandson of Madame Dulcet, a bedridden, old, poor woman on Poulaine Street. The little boy said that he had come to get those powders for his grandmother"s asthma. She hadn"t slept any for two nights. As he spoke he wound the string about a top and prepared to spin it, nonchalantly. Looking at his cheerful, dirty little face, Madeleine felt herself a thousand years old, separated for always and always from youth which would never know what she had known.
"I don"t know anything about your grandmother"s asthma powders," she said. The little boy insisted, astonished that a grown person did not know everything. "_He_ always kept them. Grandmere used to send me twice a week to get them. Grandmere will scold me awfully if I don"t take them back. She"s scolding all the time now, because the Germans took our soup-kettle and our frying-pan. We haven"t got anything left to cook with."
The memory of her immensely greater losses rose burningly to Madeleine"s mind. "They took _all my sheets_!" she cried impulsively,--"every one!"
"Oh," said the little boy indifferently, "we never had any sheets, anyhow." This did not seem an important statement to him, apparently; but to Madeleine, her old world shattered, emerging into new horizons, beaten upon by a thousand new impressions, it rang loudly. The Germans, then, had only put her in the situation in which a woman, like herself, had always lived ... and that within a stone"s throw of these well-filled linen-closets of hers! There was something strange about that, something which she would like to ponder, if only her head did not ache so terribly. The little boy said, insistently, "_He_ always gave me the powders, right away!"
Through obscure complicated mental processes, of which she had only the dimmest perceptions, _Jules_ had always given the powders ... how strange it was that precisely a bedridden woman who had most need of them should have owned no sheets ... there came to her a great desire to send that old woman the medicine she needed. "You go outside and spin your top for a while," she said to the child; "I"ll call you when I"m ready."
She went upstairs. Holding her skirts high to keep them out of the filth, she picked her way to the bookcase. Books were scattered all about the room, torn, cut, trampled on, defiled; but for the most part those with handsome bindings had been chosen for destruction. On the top shelf, sober in their drab, gray-linen binding, stood Jules" big record-books, intact. She carried down an armful of them to the pharmacy, and opened the latest one, the one which Jules had put away with his own hand the day he had left her.
The sight of the pages covered with Jules" neat, clear handwriting brought a rush of scalding tears to her eyes. Her bosom heaved in the beginning of sobs. She laid down the book, and, taking hold of the counter with all her strength, she forced herself to draw one long, regular breath after another, holding her head high.
When her heart was beating quietly again, quietly and heavily, in her breast, she opened the book and began studying the pages. Jules set everything down in writing, it being his idea that a pharmacist had no other defense against making those occasional mistakes inevitable to human nature, but which must not occur in his profession.
Madeleine read: "March 10, sold 100 quinine pills to M. Augier. Stock low. Made 100 more, using quinine from the Cochard Company"s laboratories. Filled prescription...." Madeleine"s eyes leaped over the hieroglyphics of the pharmaceutical terms and ran up and down the pages, filled with such items, looking for the name Duguet. She had almost given up when she saw, dated July 30, 1914, the entry: "Made up fresh supply Mme. Duguet asthma powders, prescription 457. Dr. Millier. Drawer No. 17."
Madeleine ran behind the counter and pulled out No. 17. She found there a little pasteboard box marked, "Duguet."
"Oh, boy, little boy!" she called.
When the child came in she asked, "Did your grandmother ever get any other medicine here?"
"No," said the grandson of the bedridden woman, "she hasn"t got anything else the matter with her."
"Well," said the pharmacist"s wife, "here is her medicine." She put the box in his hand.
"Oh, we never get more than four at a time," he told her. "She never has the money to pay for more. Here it is. Granny hid it in her hair so the Germans wouldn"t get it. She hid all we have. She"s got more than _five francs_, all safe."
He put a small silver coin in her hand and departed.
The mention of the meager sum of hidden money made Madeleine think of her own dextrously concealed little fortune. She had noticed at once on entering the shop that the arrangement of false shelves which concealed the safe had not been detected, and was intact. She pushed the spring, the shelves swung back, and disclosed the door of the safe just as usual. She began to turn the k.n.o.b of the combination lock. It worked smoothly and in a moment the heavy door swung open. The safe was entirely empty, swept clear of all the papers, t.i.tles, deeds, bonds which had covered its shelves.
As actually as though he stood there again, Madeleine saw the polite pseudo-Swiss geological gentleman, thanking Jules for the temporary use of his excellent safe.
She was petrified by this new blow, feeling the very ground give way under her feet. A cold, cold wind of necessity and stress blew upon her.
The walled and sheltered refuge in which she had lived all her life was utterly cast down and in ruins. The realization came to her, like something intolerable, indecent, that _she_, Madeleine Brismantier, was now as poor as that old bedridden neighbor had been all her life ...
_all her life_....
Somehow, that had something to do with those sheets which she had had and the other woman had not ... her mind came back with a mortal sickness to the knowledge that she had now nothing, nothing to depend upon except her own strength and labor--just like a _poor_ woman. She _was_ a poor woman!
Somebody was weeping and tugging at her skirts. She looked down blindly.
It was Raoul, her little son. He was sobbing and saying: "Sylvie said not to come, but I couldn"t stand it any more. I"m hungry! I"m hungry, and there isn"t a thing left upstairs to eat! I"m hungry! I"m hungry!"
Madeleine put her hand to her head and thought. What had happened? Oh yes, all their money had been stolen, all ... but Raoul was hungry, the children must have something to eat. "Hush, my darling," she said to the little boy, "go back upstairs and tell Sylvie to come here and look out for the shop while I go out and find something to eat."
She went down the silent, empty street, before the silent empty houses staring at her out of their shattered windows, and found not a soul abroad. At the farm, in the outskirts of town, she saw smoke rising from the chimney and went into the courtyard. The young farmer"s wife was there, feeding a little cl.u.s.ter of hens, and weeping like a child. She stared at the newcomer for a moment without recognizing her. Madeleine looked ten years older than she had a fortnight ago.
"Oh, madame, we had three hundred hens, and they left us just these eight that they couldn"t catch! And they killed all but two of our thirty cows; we"d raised them ourselves from calves up. They killed them there before the very door and cooked them over a fire in the courtyard, and they broke up everything of wood to burn in the fire, all our hoes and rake handles, and the farm-wagon and ... oh, what will my husband say when he knows!"
Madeleine had a pa.s.sing glimpse of herself as though in a convex mirror, distorted but recognizable. She said, "They didn"t hurt you or your husband"s mother, did they?"
"No, they were drunk all the time and they didn"t know what they were doing mostly. We could hide from them."
"Then your husband will not care at all about the cows and pigs and farm-wagons," said Madeleine very firmly, as though she were speaking to Sylvie. The young farmer"s wife responded automatically to the note of authority in Madeleine"s voice. "Don"t you think he will?" she asked simply, rea.s.sured somewhat, wiping away her tears.
"No, and you are very lucky to have so much left," said Madeleine. "I have nothing, nothing at all for my children to eat, and no money to buy anything." She heard herself saying this with astonishment as though it were the first time she had heard it.
The young wife was horrified, sympathetic, a little elated to have one whom she had always considered her superior come asking her for aid; for Madeleine stood there, her empty basket on her arm, asking for aid, silently, helplessly.
"Oh, we have things left to _eat_!" she said. She put some eggs in Madeleine"s basket, several pieces of veal left from the last animal killed which the Germans had not had time entirely to consume, and, priceless treasure, a long loaf of bread. "Yes, the wife of the baker got up at two o"clock last night, when she heard the last of the Germans go by, and started to heat her oven. She had hidden some flour in barrels behind her rabbit hutches, and this morning she baked a batch of bread. It"s not so good as the baker"s of course, but she says she will do better as she learns."
Madeleine turned back down the empty, silent street before the empty silent houses with their wrecked windows. A child came whistling along behind her, the little grandson of the bedridden Madame Duguet.
Madeleine did what she had never done before in her life. She stopped him, made him take off his cap and put into it a part of her loaf of bread and one of the pieces of meat.
"Oh, meat!" cried the child. "We never had meat before!"
He set off at a run and disappeared.
As she pa.s.sed the butcher-shop, she saw an old man hobbling about on crutches, attempting to sweep up the last of the broken gla.s.s. It was the father of the butcher. She stepped in, and stooping, held the dustpan for him. He recognized her, after a moment"s surprise at the alteration in her expression, and said, "Merci, madame." They worked together silently a moment, and then he said: "I"m going to try to keep Louis" business open for him. I think I can till he gets back. The war _can"t_ be long. You, madame, will you be going back to your parents?"
Madeleine walked out without speaking. She could not have answered him if she had tried. In front of the Town Hall she saw a tall old woman in black toiling up the steps with a large package under each arm. She put down her basket and went to help. It was the white-haired wife of the old mayor, who turned a ghastly face on Madeleine to explain: "I am bringing back the papers to put them in place as he always kept them.
And then I shall stay here to guard them and to do his work till somebody else can come." She laid the portfolios down on a desk and said in a low, strange voice, looking out of the window: "It was before that wall. I heard the shots."
Madeleine clasped her hands together tightly, convulsively, in a gesture of utter horror, of utter sympathy, and looked wildly at the older woman. The wife of the mayor said: "I must go back to the house now and get more of the papers. Everything must be in order." She added, as they went down the steps together: "What will you do about going on with your husband"s business? Will you go back to live with your mother? We need a pharmacy so much in town. There will be no doctor, you know. You would have to be everything in that way."