Some who read this may think that I was very weak to let a hastily uttered censure against a careless child trouble me. What are a child"s feelings?
I have been a child; and, as a child, have been blamed severely by those whom I desired to please, and felt that unkind words fell heavier and more painfully, sometimes, than blows. I could, therfore, understand the nature of Jane"s feelings, and sympathize with her to a certain extent.
All through the day, Jane moved about more quietly than usual. When I spoke to her about any thing--which I did in a kinder voice than I ordinarily used--she would look into my face with an earnestness that rebuked me.
Toward evening, I sent her down-stairs for a pitcher of cool water.
She went quickly, and soon returned with the pitcher of water, and a tumbler, on a waiter. She was coming towards me, evidently using more than ordinary caution, when her foot tripped against something, and she stumbled forward. It was in vain that she tried to save the pitcher. Its balance was lost, and it fell over and was broken to pieces at my feet, the water dashing upon the skirt of my dress.
The poor child became instantly as pale as ashes, and the frightened look she gave me I shall not soon forget. She tried to speak, and say that it was an accident, but her tongue was, paralyzed for the moment, and she found no utterance.
The lesson I had received in the morning served me for purposes of self-control now, and I said, instantly, in a mild, voice--
"Never mind, Jane; I know you couldn"t help it. I must tack down that loose edge of the carpet. I came near tripping there myself to-day. Go and get a floor-cloth and wipe up the water as quickly as you can, while I gather up the broken pieces."
The colour came back instantly to Jane"s face. She gave me one grateful look, and then ran quickly away, to do as I had directed her. When she came back, she blamed herself for not having been more careful, expressed sorrow for the accident, and promised over and over again that she would be more guarded in future.
The contrast between both of our feelings now and what they were in the morning, was very great. I felt happier for having acted justly and with due self-control; and my little girl, though troubled on account of the accident, had not the extra burden of my displeasure to bear.
"Better, far better," said I to myself, as I sat and reflected upon the incidents just related--"better, far better is it, in all our relations in life, to maintain a calm exterior, and on no account speak harshly to those who are below us. Angry words make double wounds. They hurt those whom they are addressed, while they leave a sting behind them. Above all, should we guard against a moody temper. Whenever we permit any thing to fret our minds, we are not in a state to exercise due self-control, and if temptation comes then we are sure to fall."
TROUBLE WITH SERVANTS
"OH, dear Mrs. Graham!" said my neighbour Mrs. Jones to me one day, "what shall I do for good help? I am almost worried out of my senses. I wish somebody would invent a machine to cook, wash, scrub, and do housework in general. What a blessing it would be! As for the whole tribe of flesh and blood domestics, they are not worth their salt."
"They are all poorly educated," I replied, "and we cannot expect much of them. Most of them have nearly every thing to learn when they come into our houses, and are bad scholars into the bargain.
But we must have patience. I find it my only resource."
"Patience!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Mrs. Jones, warmly. "It would require more patience than Job ever possessed to get along with some of them."
"And yet," said I, "we accomplish little or nothing by impatience.
At least such is my experience."
"I don"t know, ma"am," replied Mrs. Jones. "If you go to being gentle and easy with them, if you don"t follow them up at every point, you will soon have affairs in a pretty condition! They don"t care a fig for your comfort nor interest--not they! In fact, more than half of them would, a thousand times, rather make things disagreeable for you than otherwise."
"I know they are a great trial, sometimes," I answered, not feeling at liberty to say to my visitor all I thought. "But we must endeavour to bear it the best we can. That is my rule; and I find, in the long run, that I get on much better when I repress all exhibition of annoyance at their carelessness, short-comings, neglect, or positive misdeeds, than I do when I let them see that I am annoyed, or exhibit the slightest angry feeling."
Not long after this, we accepted an invitation to take tea with Mr.
and Mrs. Jones, and I then had an opportunity of seeing how she conducted herself towards her domestics. I was in no way surprised, afterwards, that she found difficulty in getting along with servants.
Soon after my husband and myself went in, and while we were sitting in the parlour, Mrs. Jones had occasion to call a servant. I noticed that, when she rung the bell, she did so with a quick jerk; and I could perceive a tone of authority in the ting-a-ling of the bell, the sound of which was distinctly heard. Nearly two minutes pa.s.sed before the servant made her appearance, in which time the bell received a more vigorous jerk. At last she entered, looking flushed and hurried.
"What"s the reason you did not come when I first rung?" inquired our lady hostess, in a severe tone.
"I--I--came as quick as I could," replied the girl, with a look of mortification at being spoken to before strangers.
"No, you didn"t! It"s your custom to wait until I ring twice. Now let this be the last time!"
And then, in a low voice, Mrs. Jones gave the direction for which she had summoned her.
"Such a set!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed the lady, as the girl left the room. Her words were intended to reach other ears besides ours; and so they did. "That girl," she continued, addressing me, "has a habit of making me ring twice. It really seems to give them pleasure, I believe, to annoy you. Ah, me! this trouble with servants is a never ending one. It meets you at every turn."
And, for some time, she animadverted upon her favourite theme--for such it appeared to be,--until her husband, who was evidently annoyed, managed to change the subject of discourse. Once or twice she came back to it before tea-time.
At last the tea bell rung, and we ascended to the dining-room. We were but fairly seated, when a frown darkened suddenly on the brow of our hostess, and her hand applied itself nervously to the table-bell.
The girl who had set the table came up from the kitchen.
"There is no sugar in the bowl," said Mrs. Jones sharply. "I wish you would learn to set the table while you are about it. I"m sure I have spoken to you often enough."
As the girl took the sugar-bowl to fill it, the frown left the face of our hostess, and she turned to me with a bland smile, and asked whether I used sugar and cream in my tea. I replied in the affirmative; but did not smile in return, for I could not. I knew the poor girl"s feelings were hurt at being spoken to in such a way before strangers, and this made me extremely uncomfortable.
"Do you call this cream?" was the angry interrogation of Mrs. Jones, as the girl returned with the sugar, pushing towards her the cream-jug, which she had lifted from the table as she spoke.
"Yes, ma"am," was replied.
"Look at it, and see, then."
"It"s the cream," said the girl.
"If that"s cream, I never want to see milk. Here! take it away and bring me the cream."
The girl looked confused and distressed. But she took the cream-jug and went down-stairs with it.
"That"s just the way they always do!" said Mrs. Jones; leaning back in her chair. "I really get out of all patience, sometimes."
In a little while the girl returned.
"It"s the cream, ma"am, as I said. Here"s the milk." And she presented two vessels.
Mrs. Jones took both from her hands with an ill-natured jerk. Sure enough, it was as the girl had said.
"Such cream!" fell from the lips of our hostess, as she commenced pouring it into the cups already filled with tea.
The girl went down-stairs to take back the milk she had brought up, but she was scarcely at the bottom of the stairs, when the bell was rung for her.
"Why don"t you stay here? What are you running off about?" said Mrs.
Jones, as she came in hurriedly. "You know I want you to wait on the table."
And so it was during the whole meal. The girl was not once spoken to except in a tone of anger or offensive authority.
I was no longer surprised that Mrs. Jones found it difficult to keep good domestics, for no one of feeling can long remain with a woman who speaks to them always in a tone of command, or who reproves them in the presence of visitors.
My husband was very severe upon Mrs. Jones after we returned home.
"No lady," said he, "ever spoke in anger or reproof to a domestic before a visitor or stranger. Nothing more surely evinces a vulgar and unfeeling mind."