"Why not? It"s true. She was seventeen years old. She made a mistake. You"ve just admitted you could have made mistakes, too. Why does it have to be all her fault? Your father was the adult. If anyone deserves blame, it"s him."
He didn"t want to argue about this, and he didn"t want to listen to her words. "What"s your point?"
"I"m saying that it might be easier to blame Louise than to blame your father, but that doesn"t change the truth."
He stared at her a long time. He didn"t want to believe what she was saying, but he wasn"t sure he could continue to ignore it.
She studied him, her pretty face solemn. Then she smiled and took his hand. "Come inside where it"s warm," she said, tugging him along with her.
As her words sank in and he took a step closer, he had a flash of longing so intense, it took his breath away. He knew she was talking about going into the house and out of the cold, but for that single heartbeat he wanted her to be talking about more. He wanted her to be inviting him into her heart.
Chapter 13.
T hey arrived home close to midnight. Holly knew she should be tired. She"d been up most of the previous night talking with Jordan, then had put in a full day at the store. Customers had been waiting when she"d first opened the doors, and she"d had to stay late to take care of everyone"s requests. It seemed many people had saved their Christmas shopping for the last minute.
Instead of exhaustion, however, she felt a strange restlessness. The caroling had been great fun. The more time she spent with Jordan"s family, the more she adored them. He was lucky to have so many people to care about him. For the first time in years she understood the meaning of security. Although it was only a temporary situation, she trusted Jordan to look out for her. She hadn"t trusted anyone in so long. The sensation was unfamiliar, but she was willing to risk getting used to it. Jordan held the door open for her, then stepped into the house behind her. He flipped on the lights in the foyer.
"It"s so quiet," she whispered, then giggled. "I guess I can talk in a normal voice. There"s no one here to wake up."
"Except the d.a.m.n cat."
He took her coat and hung it up in the hall closet. Holly looked in the living room, but didn"t see a sign of Mistletoe. She frowned. Her cat didn"t like Jordan, but she always came out to spit at him. Mistletoe also came to greet Holly and get her cuddling.
"Mistletoe?" she called.
Jordan glanced at her. "What"s the problem?"
"She"s usually waiting for us by the door." A seed of worry planted low in her belly. "I hope she didn"t get out."
"Unlikely. You saw her right before we left, right?"
Holly nodded.
"I was the last one out, and I know I closed the door. I had to unlock it to get back in. Louise was baby-sitting the children all evening, so she wasn"t here to accidentally let Mistletoe out. She"s probably sleeping upstairs."
"You"re right. She"s been a little tired lately. Maybe she didn"t hear us come in." Holly started for the stairs.
"I"ll check the downstairs," Jordan said.
"Thanks."
She sighed softly. She knew he didn"t care much for her cat. And she couldn"t really blame him, given that Mistletoe had taken an instant dislike to Jordan.
The old house was silent. Holly went from room to room switching on lights. Some of the second-story bedrooms had furniture, but most were bare.
Louise had a room right by the stairs. The housekeeper had fallen asleep in Travis and Elizabeth"s guest room, and they"d left her there. Travis had promised to bring her back in the morning. Now Holly got on her knees and checked under the four-poster bed. Nothing. She checked the closet and even the small s.p.a.ce behind the dresser.
"Mistletoe? Where are you?" she called as she entered the hallway.
She was halfway to her room when she heard Jordan"s voice from the first floor.
"I found her," he said. "In my room."
She headed toward him. He was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. There was an odd light in his eyes and a half smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"What is it?" she asked.
He took her hand. "Congratulations. You"re a grandmother."
"Mistletoe gave birth? Is she okay?"
"She looks great. There are four kittens."
Elation followed on the heels of relief. She quickened her step. "I thought she was acting a little odd these last couple of days. I should have realized."
They entered Jordan"s makeshift room. The closet door was open. Clothes had been pulled off hangers to create a nest. Mistletoe lay in the center, curled protectively around four tiny kittens.
Three were gray like their mother, and one was black. Mistletoe blinked sleepily, then gave a throaty purr.
Holly crouched down next to her and stroked her head. "What a clever girl you are. Four wonderful babies." She petted her cat but didn"t disturb the kittens. They were so tiny, with thin, slick fur.
"Are you hungry?" Holly asked, then glanced at Jordan. "Do you think we should move her food in here along with her litter box? Then she wouldn"t have to go so far."
"Sure." He rose to his feet and left.
While he was gone, Holly continued to speak softly to her cat. Mistletoe savored the attention, as if she knew she"d done a wonderful thing.
"She"s not even spitting at you," Holly said when he returned with the cat"s food and water.
"Oh, I think she got back at me already tonight." He pointed to the makeshift bed.
For the first time Holly realized Mistletoe had given birth on a pile of Jordan"s clothes. On top was his favorite sweater.
"Oh, no." She covered her mouth with her hand and stared at him. "Jordan, I"m so sorry."
"It"s not your fault."
She dropped her hand to her side. "You"re not mad?"
"It"s just some clothes, Holly. If they can"t be cleaned, then they can be replaced."
"But Mistletoe has been so mean to you, and it"s her fault you were injured in the first place."
He touched her arm. "It"s okay. I swear."
She looked into his dark eyes, then studied the shape of his mouth. Her own father hadn"t been willing to help her mother when she was dying. Through her life many people had let her down. But this man had opened his home to her, introduced her to his family and generally made her feel as if she finally belonged somewhere.