"I was ... touching you."
Where? For how long? Had she liked it? He was sure he had. His blood heated on cue and headed south. He released her arm, but she didn"t move away. "And?"
"And, that"s it. I used a washcloth and wiped off your face and chest." Her gaze lowered to the floor.
"Wish I"d been conscious," he muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing. I appreciate the concern and the effort. So what"s the problem?"
She linked her fingers together in front of her stomach, then released them. "You were sort of asleep and then you woke up."
Now it was Jordan"s turn to be embarra.s.sed. Had he made a pa.s.s at her or worse, although he wasn"t sure what would be worse. Maybe he"d flashed her.
"And," he prompted.
"And, well, you said I was the touchingest nurse you"d ever been around."
"And?"
"What do you mean "and?" Isn"t that enough? You said if you didn"t know better, you would think I was making a pa.s.s at you."
He searched his brain for some other meaning to her words. "I don"t think I understand."
"I was touching you," she shrieked.
"What"s the problem? I happen to like you touching me."
She gave a strangled moan and sank slowly to the floor. After drawing her knees to her chest, she lowered her head until he couldn"t see her face. "I just want to die."
Jordan tried to crouch next to her, but it hurt too much. Awkwardly he lowered himself to the floor and braced his sore back against the wall.
"I"m really sorry," Holly murmured. "It"s really all because of my mom. I was just so used to taking care of her that I-" She paused and looked at him. "I said this already, huh?"
"Yeah."
She nodded. "I just didn"t want you to think..." Her voice trailed off.
"Think what?"
She shook her head as if indicating she couldn"t speak. Jordan tried to understand her state of mind, but he didn"t know what the big deal was. So she"d touched him. So he"d commented on the fact. It was hardly a hanging offense.
He stretched his legs out in front of him, then winced as the injured muscles protested. He placed his palm on her arm, then slid down until his hand was over hers. That seemed to give her courage.
"I didn"t want you to think I was coming on to you," she said. "That never crossed my mind."
"b.u.mmer."
"What?" She stared at him as if he"d grown a second head. "You can"t be serious."
"Why not? I"d love to have you come on to me." He tugged on her hand until she relaxed enough to let him lace his fingers with hers, then he rested their joined hands on his left thigh.
She stared at him. "But I"m... But you"re..." She shook her head. "You"re teasing me, right?"
"Nope."
"But I"m not s.e.xy. I don"t even know how to be s.e.xy. I"m inexperienced to the point of being stupid around men, and I"m fifteen pounds overweight."
He forced himself to keep staring at her face when what he really wanted to do was drop his gaze to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "Don"t you dare lose a pound. You"re perfect."
Conflicting emotions raced through her eyes. He could see she wanted to believe him but she didn"t dare. Jordan frowned. Why didn"t Holly know she had the ability to turn him on? Had someone hurt her that badly? Animal rage surged inside him. If a man had caused her to doubt herself, he would find him and punish him.
"Wow," she said. "That was pretty amazing."
"What?"
She shrugged. "Your family mentioned you were the brooding one in the group. I didn"t believe them. You"ve always been so friendly. But just now you got this look on your face."
"Sorry. I was thinking about something else."
"I could tell." She stared at him. "Do you really brood?"
"Sometimes." But not around Holly. When he was with her, he forgot about being on the outside looking in. With her, he belonged.
Warning lights began to flash, but he ignored them. He knew his friendship with Holly was dangerous, but he was willing to risk it. After all, it was just temporary. When she could afford her own place, she would move out and disappear from his life. So it was safe to enjoy the short time they had together.
She shifted and sat cross-legged. His knees hurt just thinking about trying that position.
"Jordan, do you really think I"m s.e.xy?" She shook her head. "Sorry. I shouldn"t have asked. I"m not fishing for compliments. I"ve just never thought of myself that way. I"ve never been involved with a man, so I don"t know how they think."
It took every ounce of self-control not to pull his hand free of hers. Jordan sat very still, trying to absorb what Holly had just said. She"d never been involved with a man. No way could she mean that. He"d suspected she was innocent, but not that innocent.
"By "never," you mean less than ten or something, right?" he asked desperately.
She stared solemnly. ""Never" as in "none." I had a boyfriend when I was fifteen. That lasted for a couple of months. He even kissed me a few times, but it wasn"t anything like when you and I did." Her voice got lower and lower. "Then my mom was diagnosed with the cancer, and I didn"t have a lot of extra time to spend with him. He didn"t understand."
"Teenage boys are notoriously selfish," he said. "I know. I was one once." He shifted his hand so he could brush his thumb back and forth across her palm.
She smiled at him. "I tried to understand. In my head it made sense. We were both young. He wanted to have fun. There was this dance, and I was supposed to go with him. But my mom was just out of the hospital. I was scared she was going to die. I didn"t want to leave her alone, so I told him I couldn"t go."
He could hear the pain in her words. Jordan released her hand and draped his arm around her shoulders. At first she stiffened, then slowly she relaxed against him. Her head rested on his chest.
"He took someone else," he said quietly.
She nodded. "This girl. Colette. Can you imagine a fifteen-year-old named Colette? I blamed her because that was easier than facing the truth. After the dance he stopped calling me. We never went out again."
He rested his chin on the top of her head and ignored the beat from her hand resting on his thigh. "Who was next?"