Holly stared at the small gold-wrapped package. "You shouldn"t have."
"How do you know? You haven"t looked at it yet."
She nodded, then fumbled with the wrapping. The black velvet box opened silently, exposing pearl earrings surrounded by a circle of diamonds. Holly stared at the jewelry, but didn"t say a word.
Jordan found himself in the unfamiliar situation of feeling unsure of a gift. "The diamonds are earring jackets," he said quickly. "You can wear them with other things, and you can wear the pearls alone." He paused, then added lamely, "I thought they would hook nice with your long dresses and fancy blouses for work."
Holly raised her head and stared at him. Light reflected off the moisture in her eyes. "They"re so beautiful. You spent far too much money."
"He can afford it," Kyle said from across the room.
Jordan glanced around and saw they were the center of attention.
"That"s right," Craig added. "The last dividend check was impressive."
Holly frowned. "What are they talking about?"
Jordan leaned back on the sofa and grinned. "Didn"t I tell you? When Austin was starting his company, my brothers and I threw in with him. None of us had much money, but we gave him all of it. We now own a chunk of his very successful firm. In addition to being heartbreaking charmers, the Haynes brothers are well-off."
"I guess that explains the Victorian mansions. I wondered how you did that on a fire fighter"s salary."
"Now you know."
She stared at the earrings, then unfastened them and tried to put them in her ears. Her hands were shaking. When the task was accomplished, she sat up on her knees, then leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth.
It wasn"t a pa.s.sionate kiss. Even as she brushed her lips against his, color flared on her cheeks. But for Holly it was a bold, public move.
Before she could pull away, he touched her cheek and smiled at her. Her warm and welcome expression made him want ... something. He couldn"t explain it or define ft. The need grew, pressing against his heart. If he had to put words to it, the closest he could come was that he wanted what his brothers had. Not the love. That still terrified him. But the secure relationship with someone who cared.
When all the presents had been opened, Elizabeth a.s.signed tasks. Holly was in charge of piling up the gifts so there was room to walk around, while Jordan was sent to help in the kitchen. He was supposed to be fixing coffee, but instead, he found himself remembering Christmases past.
In the recent past he"d been the odd man out. Even before his brothers were married, they usually each brought a woman around during the holidays. He never had. Somehow sharing that part of his life had been too personal. He hadn"t wanted to deal with a stranger. Better to be alone than with the wrong person.
"What do you look so serious about?" Elizabeth asked.
He glanced up and saw her leaning against the door frame. He shrugged. "Other holidays. This one is better."
She moved toward him. Elizabeth had a heart-shaped face and wide eyes. When she"d married Travis, she"d made his brothers her responsibility, too. Once she was part of the family, birthdays were remembered and celebrated, and family dinners became a part of everyone"s lives.
She planted her hands on her hips and glared at him. "I swear, if I could have just one wish, it would be to spend five minutes alone with Earl Haynes."
"My father? Why?"
"That ... that b.a.s.t.a.r.d doesn"t deserve to live. He hurt you four so much. I want him punished for his crimes, and I want to be there to watch."
Her fierceness startled him. Although he hadn"t been thinking about his childhood, Elizabeth"s words brought it back to him. His father leaving to be with another woman. His mother crying softly in her room. The four Haynes brothers not sure what they were supposed to feel, only knowing that all the toys in the world couldn"t make their home an easier place to live.
"That was a long time ago," he said.
"Maybe, but you"re all still suffering because of it. You think I don"t see what he did to you? All of you? Sometimes Travis can"t sleep because of the memories. He"s a wonderful man, yet he was terrified he didn"t know how to be a good husband and father." She drew in a deep breath, then smiled. "I do love to go on, don"t I?"
"You can be a little intense."
"That"s because I care." She stepped closer and placed her hand on his arm. "Jordan, you"ve got to deal with the past. Your chance at a happy present is going to slip away if you don"t get a grip on this."
He moved back. "I don"t know what you"re talking about."
"Yes, you do. I wish there was a way to erase everything and start over, but there isn"t. Your parents-" She shrugged. "I don"t agree with what your mother did, but I almost understand it. After all that time, she just snapped. Still, I wish she"d stayed in contact with the four of you."
Jordan thought about what had really happened that last day. "I don"t blame her, I blame the other women. They could have said no to my father."
Elizabeth stared at him oddly. "Of course they are at fault, but they aren"t the only ones. They said yes, but Earl was the one doing the asking. He spent his whole life trying to seduce anything in a skirt. Maybe it"s easier to blame the women, but the real culprit is your father."
She crossed the short distance between them. "I know what you"re thinking, Jordan, but it"s not like that. You don"t have to be like him. You are your own man." She smiled. "If I wasn"t so happily married, I might just make a play for you myself. Except I"d be too late." She hugged him. "Holly is very special. Don"t let her get away. If you do, you"ll regret it for the rest of your life."
She left the kitchen, and he was alone. As he made coffee, he thought about what his sister-in-law had said. That it was easier to blame the women than to blame his father. She was right. He did blame Louise. He blamed her for everything. Yet how much of it was really her fault? What about his father"s part in the events? And his mother? In that, he agreed with Elizabeth. He understood his mother"s need to leave Earl, but he resented her walking away from him without once looking back.
The Haynes family was in a h.e.l.l of a mess. He shook his head. That wasn"t true. His brothers had figured out how to fix things. He was the only one still fighting the past. Maybe it was time to let it go.
Holly snuggled closer to Jordan. They were sitting on the sofa in front of their Christmas tree. To her right a fire snapped, and the scent of wood smoke filled the room.
"Dinner was great," she said, then touched her earlobes and the beautiful earrings he"d given her. "Everything about the day was perfect. Thank you for a wonderful Christmas."
His arms tightened around her. "You"re welcome."
She closed her eyes and held on to the happiness flooding her body. She wanted this day to last forever. She wanted to always be a part of him, of his world. She wanted to be able to confess her feelings and have them returned. She wanted him to love her.
A small sigh escaped her lips. There was no point in wishing for the moon. Jordan wasn"t going to love her, because he wasn"t going to love anyone. He feared love as she had once feared trust. He and his family had shown her otherwise, but who was there to show him?
Still, if she could have one more Christmas wish, it would be to have him want to be with her always.
"Holly, there"s something I want to ask you," he said.
"What?"
He straightened slightly, shifting so he could see her face. His dark eyes were alive with emotions she couldn"t read. She felt his tension, but didn"t know the cause. Before she could ask what was wrong, he spoke.
"Holly, will you marry me?"
His question left her stunned and speechless. She could only stare. Marry him? He wanted her to marry him?
"I know this is sudden," he said. "But I"ve given it a lot of thought. I enjoy everything about you. Being with you, talking to you, making love."
The joy was so bright and so intense, she thought she might die right there. He wanted to marry her. Her!
"We want the same things," he continued. "A home and a family. I have the house." He motioned to the room, "Together we can be a family. I"ve always wanted kids. I"ll take care of you, respect you." He touched her face, then kissed her lips. "I think we could make it work."