differently.
Listen to their favorite music with Present options when they seek them.
your advice.
Keep the promises you make.
Play outside together.
Wave and smile when you leave Surprise them.
in the morning.
Delight in their discoveries.
Display their artwork in your Share their excitement.
home.
Send them a letter or postcard.
Thank them.
Follow them when they lead.
Point out what you like about Notice when they"re absent.
them.
Call them to say h.e.l.lo.
Clip magazine pictures or articles Hide surprises for them to find.
that interest them.
186.
Catch them doing something Delight in their uniqueness.
right.
Let them make mistakes.
Encourage win-win solutions.
Notice when they grow.
Give them your undivided Wave and honk when you drive attention.
by them.
Ask for their opinion.
Give them immediate feedback.
Have fun together.
Include them in conversations.
Be curious with them.
Respect them.
Tell them how much you like being Join in their adventures.
with them.
Visit their schools.
Let them solve most of their own Help them learn something new.
problems.
Be understanding when they Meet their friends.
have a difficult day.
Let them tell you how they feel.
Give them good choices.
Help them become an expert at Respect the choices they make.
something.
Be silly together.
Be excited when you see them.
Hang out together.
Tell them about yourself.
Make time.
Let them act their age.
Inspire their creativity.
Encourage more; criticize less.
Accept them as they are.
Be consistent.
Become their advocate.
Admit when you make a mis- Appreciate their personality.
take.
Talk openly with them.
Enjoy your time together.
Trust them.
Give them a special nickname.
Share a secret.
Marvel at what they can do.
Write a chalk message to them Unwind together.
on the sidewalk.
Be happy.
Create a safe, open environ- Ask them to help you.
ment.
Support them.
Be available.
Applaud their successes.
Cheer their accomplishments.
Deal with problems and conflicts Encourage them to help others.
when they"re small.
Tackle new tasks together.
Tell them stories in which they are Believe what they say.
the hero.
Help them take a stand and Believe in them.
stand with them.
Nurture them with good food.
Daydream with them.
Be flexible.
Do what they like to do.187.
Make decisions together.
Introduce them to new Magnify their magnificence.
experiences.
Build something together.
Share a meal together.
Encourage them to think big.
Talk directly together.
Celebrate their firsts and lasts, Be spontaneous.
such as the first day of Expect their best; don"t expect school.
perfection.
Go places together.
Empower them to be Welcome their suggestions.
themselves.
Be sincere.
Love them, no matter what.
Source: The International youth and childcare Network Now, surely there are things on that list you can get cracking on right away. Start small, but aim big. Be patient. And remember: never give up on your relationship with your children. Now, surely there are things on that list you can get cracking on right away. Start small, but aim big. Be patient. And remember: never give up on your relationship with your children.
Speaking of giving up, we"ll move along now to our next chapter which looks at how to parent the child whose mistaken goal is a.s.sumed inadequacy. These children are masterful at making us want to give up on them. But we"re going to learn how not to. Ready to tackle the last of the four misbehavior dances? Even if your child does not do the a.s.sumed inadequacy dance with you, I am going to share the most critical parenting concept, and it applies to all families, all children and all forms of misbehavior. It is the "universal tool"
for every parenting situation, so read on.