"I guess." He made a face and shook his head, suddenly seeming to take in her reaction. "It was a dumb idea, wasn"t it? I"d better go shower." Before he took a step, she put her hand in the middle of his chest to stop him. "Hold it right there for a minute. I want you to understand what"s going on here. This isn"t about punishing you for what happened last night. You suffering or me hurting you or anything like that is pointless. We already know you did wrong and that you"re sorry. This is about us figuring out how to salvage our relationship - if we can salvage it."
He nodded urgently, like he was in dire need of going to the bathroom and would agree to anything to be allowed to go. She guessed the situation was pretty similar, but she wasn"t going to let him off the hook that easily. "What I want to know right now, Bill, is why I don"t need to worry about you meeting up with Tanya again - or any of the others. Tell me what you learned."
He groaned. "Nik, I"m dying here."
"Don"t waste time then." The ice cream wouldn"t do any real harm, and it might help him focus on her questions instead of flashing back to the past. Besides, it had been his own idea.
"Okay, okay." He raised both hands in surrender. "What I learned is that being turned on isn"t what"s important. Tanya"s s.e.xy as h.e.l.l, but it"s all fake - none of it has anything to do with her and me. With you, even when you"re p.i.s.sed and yelling at me, you"re still you and you still care about who I really am. And I"d rather be right here with you, with hot fudge and peppermint ice cream in my pants, than anywhere in the universe with her or anyone else I"ve ever been with." A tremor went through his body, and she wasn"t sure if it was emotion or a chill.
She looked him straight in the eye and asked, "Do you swear that"s the truth?" He nodded and she saw tears pooling in his eyes. "You know I couldn"t forgive you if you cheated again."
He nodded and swallowed some of the tears. "I know. I couldn"t forgive myself, either. I love you, Nikolia. Please forgive me."
It was hard to catch her breath enough to say, "I love you, too, Bill. And I forgive you."
He wrapped her in his arms for a good long time, then suddenly tensed. "G.o.d, that ice cream"s cold." He caught his breath, then asked, "Would it be okay -"
"Of course. Go take a shower."
He paused on the way out of the kitchen. "I don"t suppose you"d be interested in helping me get rid of all this ice cream and fudge sauce, would you?"
"You might be able to persuade me," she said with a chuckle.
He did, and then she did, and together, they created quite a mess of melted ice cream and sticky fudge sauce.
It was worth it.
EPILOGUE.
Valentine"s Day Weekend, The Following Year Nik saw the sign by the front door while they waited for it to be answered. "Martha"s Madness" - okay, now she knew where they were. This was the B&B that friends of Scott and Carolyn"s ran. She"d seen email about it, and heard how nice it was from a couple of people who"d been here. "You didn"t need to be so mysterious about where we were going," she said to Bill, but it wasn"t really a complaint. Heseemed to enjoy planning these little surprises, and every one of them gave her that warm glow inside reminding her that he still cared.
The door swung open and a pet.i.te blonde invited them in. "Welcome to Martha"s Madness Bed-and-Breakfast. I"m Brittany Fiore, your hostess."
"I"m Bill Adams and this is Nik Harding," Bill said, offering his hand. "We spoke on the phone."
Her smile broadened. "Oh, yes! Everything"s all ready for you. Let me show you around." She gave them a quick tour of the public areas on the main level, including the dining room where breakfast would be served in the morning. Nik was sorry it was already dark because both the living and dining rooms had huge walls of windows looking out at the beach.
Then, Brittany led the way upstairs to their room - or as it turned out, a suite consisting of a bedroom, a full bath, and a sitting room. Both the bedroom and the sitting room looked out toward the ocean, too.
"Sometimes, couples like to have breakfast here in front of the window. If you"d like to do that, we"ll be glad to help you carry it upstairs."
Nik said, "This is a lovely place. Am I right that you"re friends with Scott and Carolyn Richards?"
Brittany laughed. "Oh, definitely. I"ve only known Scott since they got married, but Carolyn and I have been best friends ever since we were roommates freshman year in college. We met my husband Tony that year, too. As it happens, she and Scott are spending the weekend at the Worthingtons" house a ways up the coast, and they"re going to stop by for a while tomorrow. I"ll tell them you"re here." She glanced around the room, as though checking that everything was in place. "Be sure to go up the stairs to the lookout tower sometime during your stay - the view is definitely worth it. Now, do you have any questions before I leave you to get settled?"
"Just one," Bill said. "Any recommendations about where to eat around here? I have reservations up in Manzanita for dinner tomorrow, and all we need is something fairly simple tonight."
Brittany replied, "There"s a notebook in the living room with a number of menus in it, but for simple and local, you might try the seafood place right on the beach in the middle of town. Their fish and chips is good, and they have a number of other alternatives, too."
"That sounds good to me. Nik?"
She smiled. "Fine." In fact, she"d been so healthy recently, she might take a chance and have something deep-fried for once.
Bill juggled the tray he was carrying and finally managed to turn the doork.n.o.b without spilling anything.
After arranging breakfast on the small gla.s.s table in the sitting room, he tiptoed into the bedroom and kissed Nik. "Ready for some breakfast?"
She yawned. "You go ahead. It"ll take me forever to get dressed. I slept like a log last night."
"No need to get dressed, just come into the next room. It"s all ready for you."
"How sweet!" She gave him a hug and padded into the bathroom. "I"ll just wash my face and comb my hair first."
He thought of telling her not to bother, but knew she"d be happier if she did. When she got to the table,she said, "Those cinnamon rolls look fantastic! And is that quiche?"
"Tony said it"s strata, but that"s similar. He"s doing the cooking this morning, by the way - it turns out Brittany"s pregnant and can"t face food in the morning."
Nik laughed. "That"s got to be pretty inconvenient, when you run a place like this." She took a bite of her cinnamon roll and groaned. "This is great. It"s a good thing we"re only here for the weekend."
Bill enjoyed watching Nik clean her plate, but didn"t eat much himself. He couldn"t help being nervous, even though he told himself it was silly. "Are you glad you let me move in with you last year?"
She grinned at him and teased, "Sure. I couldn"t afford to hire a full-time housekeeper and cook, not to mention a personal ma.s.seur."
"How about your very own s.e.x machine?" he teased back.
"Is that what you are? I thought you were just my lover."
"Just your lover?" He had to smile. She"d given him the perfect opening, completely innocently. "Maybe it"s time to take care of that, Nikolia."
"Take care of what?" she asked, a little nervously.
"This bit about me being just your lover. Didn"t you wonder when you were getting your diamond jewelry for Valentine"s Day? Here it is - but there"s a little catch. To get it, you need to agree to marry me." He pulled the box out of his pocket and showed it to her.
Her eyes and mouth went round. She stared for a few seconds, then said, "It"s gorgeous, Bill. But marriage? Really?"
"Marriage, really, Nikolia. I"ve loved you for nine years now, and I"ll love you for nine hundred more.
You help me be the person I never knew I could be, and I like to think I make your life better in some small way."
"You make it so much better in so many ways!" she a.s.sured him. "But I"ll always have this disease, and eventually you"ll get tired of catering to me all the time."
He shook his head. "I won"t. I love you too much." He swallowed. "It"s taken me a long time to be able to say that, but I know now it"s been true all along. I also know that you"ve thought marriage and kids wasn"t something you"d ever be able to manage, but together, it"s not out of reach."
Her eyes shining, she said, "I can see where marriage might be possible. It"s not that different from living together, after all. But kids are something else, and -"
He cut her off with a smile. "I"ve figured out how we can make that work. If we stay in your house, we could afford for you to stay home, and to hire someone to help with the kids and the house. That way, you could do as much or as little as you were able to, and the kids would still be okay."
She bit her lower lip, and a few tears slipped down her cheeks. "You"d be willing to do that, even though you"ve never wanted kids?"
He blinked away tears of his own. "It"s not so much that I don"t want kids. It"s more that I"ve always been afraid of turning out like Pop. But I don"t have to be scared of that anymore, not with you around. And I really want you to have the kind of life you"ve always dreamed of, and I know that kids are part of thatdream."
She reached for his hand and squeezed it. "Oh, Bill, that"s so sweet. But my dream of marriage and kids was just how I imagined life was supposed to be - and a symbol of what I thought I"d lost when I got sick. I know now that I don"t need children to be satisfied with my life. Having children would take away from the time and energy I"d have for you, and you"re the most important person in my life."
He clasped her other hand in his, looked deep into her eyes, and saw only truth. Truth and love. "Does this mean you"re accepting my proposal?"
Mischief lit her eyes. "I don"t recall being proposed to. Yet."
He wasn"t a fool, so he quickly knelt at her feet and asked, "Nikolia, will you please do me the honor of becoming my bride?"
"I will," she said, her grin rivaling the brilliance of the sun.
Nik kept her hand firmly in Bill"s as they walked down the stairs around noon. She felt like she might lose her grip on the floor and float up to the ceiling if he let go of her hand for even a second.
Scott and Carolyn were in the living room, along with Brittany and Tony, when they got there. Brittany looked questioningly at Bill and he grinned. "Yes, get out the champagne. We have an announcement!"
Brittany and Carolyn jumped up and came over to her - to see her ring, she finally realized. Tony disappeared toward the kitchen, and Scott said, "Congratulations, you two." When Tony returned with a bottle of champagne and a tray of gla.s.ses, it dawned on her that they had all known about Bill"s proposal before she did.
Tony did the honors opening and pouring the champagne, glancing at Brittany before giving her only enough for a toast. When he began to pour Carolyn"s, she cleared her throat and said, "Just what you gave Britt." His mouth dropped halfway open and she turned the beet-red color that people at work were always teasing her about. "We, um, have an announcement, too."
Brittany squealed and ran to hug her old friend. "When are you due?"
"Early October," Scott answered with a proud smile.
Bill said, "Well, I guess we"d better drink to that news, too," and they all raised their gla.s.ses and toasted each other.
A few minutes later, Nik happened to glance at Carolyn and Tony, standing a foot or two off to the side.
She heard Tony say, "I"m happy for you, babe."
Carolyn replied, "Thanks, Tony. I"m so glad that things worked out for both of us. I was afraid they never would."
He nodded. "I know. It"s good there"s such a thing as second chances. We sure needed them."
Nik slipped her arm a little tighter around Bill"s waist and murmured, "We did, too."
The End