Chapter 78
It took me a while to understand exactly what he meant.
Are you serious right now?
The opponents were the monsters.
Only some were my friends, not all.
I knew they weren’t even comparable to wild animals, and I knew they weren’t just poor creatures that were hunted unilaterally.
It were the partic.i.p.ants who should be concerned about the savage gladiatorial match, not the wailing monsters.
But why are you saying this?
“Most of all, if I set a new record in this match, I guarantee that no one will dare to make a fool of you, no matter what happens in the future.”
I almost laughed like an idiot at the way he spoke, treating it as a joke.
Ah… don’t do this! Why do you keep doing this to me?
The fact that this was the only reason for him to partic.i.p.ate didn’t make sense.
Because of me, the best paladin whose goal was to protect the North from the Monsters was taking part only for this reason.….
Suddenly, I understood why he had kept me from contacting other kinds of monsters, and why he was so angry when Sir Ivan and the others secretly took me to the frost wolves.
It wasn’t just because of the unclear danger.
If Popo were a gnome, I would have been disturbed when he said he had caught gnomes a while ago.
Even though I knew in my head that it was inevitable in the North, I would have bad feelings in my heart.
Since the definition of my talent, whose cause and limits are uncertain, was not just being a simple interpreter, but a sympathizer, it would have been unavoidable for me to feel a little heartbroken.
Izek guessed that and did as much as he could…….
“Iz.”
“Hm?”
Of all things, it was very cruel of me to test him at this moment.
I heard couples acted alike, hah.
“Lady Furiana poured tea on herself to tell me where I belong.”
“…what?”
“And the maid said something similar earlier, so I slapped her in the face without realizing it. I’m ashamed of myself for making things big…….”
“Wait, wait.”
He narrowed his eyes and pressed his temple with one hand, as if the situation that had been thrown out of the blue was not well accepted.
I swallowed the heavy lump stuck in my throat.
They say it’s hard at first, but really…
“Like this…… don’t rush and tell me what happened from the beginning. What did they do? Don’t be in a hurry.”
I was a little stunned, but I quickly came to my senses.
“I never meant to, but I guess I’ve been looking too proud lately. She told me that overconfidence is prohibited and then, she was holding the tea cup….”
“Ruby.”
“What?”
“You skipped straight to the end. Just like before.”
What good was there to be talking about the details?
I hesitated to look straight.
Izek was sitting with a surprisingly expressionless face.
Perhaps because of the moonlight, his red eyes were colourful like prism pieces.
It was strangely heartbreaking to see those complex, mysterious eyes, eyes that seemed to be suffering from mental torture.
“I’ve heard it roughly from Ivan earlier, but it doesn’t matter to me whether it’s you or not.”
“…….”
“It doesn’t matter if you tell me slowly, so just say what comes to mind. What actually happened today?”
Was this… was this hot-tempered man drunk? It was ridiculous, but my wild horse-like heart seemed to calm down a little.
Was it a matter of my habits?
It was very difficult simply to confide in the facts that happened.
I didn’t know what to do if I pushed too far or he got angry in the middle, so I developed the habit of skipping as much as I could because I was afraid of being scolded for being so stupid when I could behave better.
“Iz, do you really not care about anything but me?”
“…Yes, really.”
“Then, can you grant me my wish?”
Izek tilted his head a little and smiled soon, instead of pushing me to say something else.
At a glance, it looked almost playful.
“There’s no reason not to.”
“Anything?”
“Just say anything, my doubtful princess.”
“D-Don’t get tired of me.”
“What kind of wish is that?”
His soft voice sank in an instant.
His tone seemed to be so ridiculous that he didn’t even get angry.
I bowed my head and added carefully.
“I don’t want to think about this, but I keep saying it’s just for a moment. You’re just being blind for a moment, and one day you’ll get tired of me…”
“Was that what Freya said to you?”
“…….”
“She, really……Let’s see, you just said the maid said something similar and you slapped her.”
“Of course, I may have magnified it, but…”
“You torture my mind and body, a lot.”
The low-sounding roar almost made my hair stand.
I didn’t know if the reason why my heart was pounding was purely fear or his actions in the future.
His gaze burning like the flames of h.e.l.l with suspicion and anger was like that of a reaper who foretold my death.
“Why on earth would they… and you actually believed that nonsense?”
“That’s not true, I don’t want to think so!”
As I shook my head desperately, his burning eyes eased slightly. Oh, my heart.
“If not, why would you wish….”
“Everyone keeps saying that, because they’ve known you for a long time. I don’t know much about you, so I’m just not sure about it.”
“Sure…?”
The one who was staring at me slowly got up.
The scene of a dangerous beast stretching.
Uh, this is dangerous.….
“You’re not sure?”
I didn’t move a muscle. I could hardly breathe.
A red warning light flashed in my head as he approached me with leopard-like steps.
“What do I have to do to make you sure?”
“…….”
“Can I just grab everyone that’s talking nonsense and pull out their tongue so that they can’t repeat it?”
What’s he talking about now?
It didn’t sound nonsense because this was what the main character was saying.
Get a hold of yourself, b*stard! They’re your old friends!
Sadly speaking.
“You’ll be in big trouble if you do that.”
“Big trouble? What big trouble?”
The voice with a smile above my head was more creepy than ever.
To the point where I felt it was better for him to yell.
“I don’t want you to fight because of me….”
“Isn’t it encouraging for a husband to fight for his wife’s honor?”
“But then families get on bad terms and civil war…….”
“Tell them to snap out of it. I’ll turn them into dust.”
“Iz…”
“Will you feel any less anxious if I burn everything to ashes, Brittania or Romagna?”
“…….”
“Hmm? Tell me. How can I stop you from crying in hiding?”
Crying in hiding?
I slowly lifted my head, resting my hand on his arm, clutching his bicep.
Finally, Izek’s eyes, which looked up, were distorted and burning.
As if my figure was unbearable to watch.
Are you tired again? Why are you so tired?
I reached out and pressed my finger around his eyes.
“It’s not your fault. I’m the problem.”
“…….”
“Because I look like this……. I’m not confident in anything. The happier I am because of you, the more anxious I am when my dream will be broken. That’s why.”
I thought there would never be anyone who would hug me and make me feel as warm as the red twilight that coloured autumn afternoons.
Because I was abandoned even by my parents who gave birth to me, throughout my life.
I was a cursed soul who struggled to survive in the past and in the present life.
The reason why I refused to die so much was not only because of the pain I had already experienced, but also the memory of the moment I was being sucked into the dark.
From birth, I wanted to survive in a world that told me that I was not worth living.
I wanted to survive until the end even if the whole world died.
And if I die again, then I want to live in another world with the same fate and shackles.
But I didn’t feel that way when I was with him.
I didn’t think I was a cursed soul when I was with him.
When I’m with you, I feel like a real princess.
I felt like a n.o.ble and beloved princess.
Even if one day he’d know who I am and wouldn’t want me anymore, even if he didn’t look at me like a dream anymore, even if I was just as different from my parents and all the others…….
“Thank you for believing me. Seriously, I’ve never felt this way before.”
Silence stagnated. The red eyes that fluctuated violently and stared into my eyes were the same as those that I once saw in the frost forest.
Why did he have those eyes?
Where did the ascetic and ruthless protagonist, who I knew was determined to be cold, go to? Who was this strange man who looked into my eyes so earnestly? A new unrealistic feeling arose.
The sense of reality that came back at the moment when Izek stroked my cheek with his calloused palms pierced me painfully.
“I can do anything. Isn’t that too much grat.i.tude for a wish?”
“I’m sorry if it was unpleasant. I was so foolish that I was worried about this.….”
“Yes, you’re a fool. I’m always on your side.”
His tone was determined enough to make me feel desperate at first glance, making me feel guilty.
It was like I’d done something very bad.
I opened my mouth playfully, hoping to cheer him up.
“Really? Are you on my side even if I’m terribly wrong?”
“…a married couple is one in body and soul. I was naturally the enemy for most people.”