As she was recounting this incident, "Well," she overheard Pao-ch"ai sarcastically observe from the opposite direction, "have you done spinning your yarns? If you have, come along! It"s quite evident that you are brother and sister, for here you leave every one else and go and discuss your own private matters. Couldn"t we too listen to a single sentence of what you have to say?"
While she taunted them, T"an Ch"un and Pao-yu eventually drew near her with smiling faces.
Pao-yu, however, failed to see Lin Tai-yu and he concluded that she had dodged out of the way and gone elsewhere. "It would be better," he muttered, after some thought, "that I should let two days elapse, and give her temper time to evaporate before I go to her." But as he drooped his head, his eye was attracted by a heap of touch-me-nots, pomegranate blossom and various kinds of fallen flowers, which covered the ground thick as tapestry, and he heaved a sigh. "It"s because," he pondered, "she"s angry that she did not remove these flowers; but I"ll take them over to the place, and by and bye ask her about them."
As he argued to himself, he heard Pao-ch"ai bid them go out. "I"ll join you in a moment," Pao-yu replied; and waiting till his two cousins had gone some distance, he bundled the flowers into his coat, and ascending the hill, he crossed the stream, penetrated into the arbour, pa.s.sed through the avenues with flowers and wended his way straight for the spot, where he had, on a previous occasion, interred the peach-blossoms with the a.s.sistance of Lin Tai-yu. But scarcely had he reached the mound containing the flowers, and before he had, as yet, rounded the brow of the hill, than he caught, emanating from the off side, the sound of some one sobbing, who while giving way to invective, wept in a most heart-rending way.
"I wonder," soliloquised Pao-yu, "whose servant-girl this is, who has been so aggrieved as to run over here to have a good cry!"
While speculating within himself, he halted. He then heard, mingled with wails:--
Flowers wither and decay; and flowers do fleet; they fly all o"er the skies; Their bloom wanes; their smell dies; but who is there with them to sympathise?
While vagrant gossamer soft doth on fluttering spring-bowers bind its coils, And drooping catkins lightly strike and cling on the embroidered screens, A maiden in the inner rooms, I sore deplore the close of spring.
Such ceaseless sorrow fills my breast, that solace nowhere can I find.
Past the embroidered screen I issue forth, taking with me a hoe, And on the faded flowers to tread I needs must, as I come and go.
The willow fibres and elm seeds have each a fragrance of their own.
What care I, peach blossoms may fall, pear flowers away be blown; Yet peach and pear will, when next year returns, burst out again in bloom, But can it e"er be told who will next year dwell in the inner room?
What time the third moon comes, the scented nests have been already built.
And on the beams the swallows perch, excessive spiritless and staid; Next year, when the flowers bud, they may, it"s true, have ample to feed on: But they know not that when I"m gone beams will be vacant and nests fall!
In a whole year, which doth consist of three hundred and sixty days, Winds sharp as swords and frost like unto spears each other rigorous press, So that how long can last their beauty bright; their fresh charm how long stays?
Sudden they droop and fly; and whither they have flown, "tis hard to guess.
Flowers, while in bloom, easy the eye attract; but, when they wither, hard they are to find.
Now by the footsteps, I bury the flowers, but sorrow will slay me.
Alone I stand, and as I clutch the hoe, silent tears trickle down, And drip on the bare twigs, leaving behind them the traces of blood.
The goatsucker hath sung his song, the shades lower of eventide, So with the lotus hoe I return home and shut the double doors.
Upon the wall the green lamp sheds its rays just as I go to sleep.
The cover is yet cold; against the window patters the bleak rain.
How strange! Why can it ever be that I feel so wounded at heart!
Partly, because spring I regret; partly, because with spring I"m vexed!
Regret for spring, because it sudden comes; vexed, for it sudden goes.
For without warning, lo! it comes; and without asking it doth fleet.
Yesterday night, outside the hall sorrowful songs burst from my mouth, For I found out that flowers decay, and that birds also pa.s.s away.
The soul of flowers, and the spirit of birds are both hard to restrain.
Birds, to themselves when left, in silence plunge; and flowers, alone, they blush.
Oh! would that on my sides a pair of wings could grow, That to the end of heaven I may fly in the wake of flowers!
Yea to the very end of heaven, Where I could find a fragrant grave!
For better, is it not, that an embroidered bag should hold my well-shaped bones, And that a heap of stainless earth should in its folds my winsome charms enshroud.
For spotless once my frame did come, and spotless again it will go!
Far better than that I, like filthy mire, should sink into some drain!
Ye flowers are now faded and gone, and, lo, I come to bury you.
But as for me, what day I shall see death is not as yet divined!
Here I am fain these flowers to inter; but humankind will laugh me as a fool.
Who knows, who will, in years to come, commit me to my grave!
Mark, and you"ll find the close of spring, and the gradual decay of flowers, Resemble faithfully the time of death of maidens ripe in years!
In a twinkle, spring time draws to a close, and maidens wax in age.
Flowers fade and maidens die; and of either nought any more is known.
After listening to these effusions, Pao-yu unconsciously threw himself down in a wandering frame of mind.
But, reader, do you feel any interest in him? If you do, the subsequent chapter contains further details about him.
CHAPTER XXVIII.
Chiang Yu-han lovingly presents a rubia-scented silk sash.
Hsueh Pao-ch"ai blushingly covers her musk-perfumed string of red beads.
Lin Tai-yu, the story goes, dwelt, after Ch"ing Wen"s refusal, the previous night, to open the door, under the impression that the blame lay with Pao-yu. The following day, which by another remarkable coincidence, happened to correspond with the season, when the G.o.d of flowers had to be feasted, her total ignorance of the true circ.u.mstances, and her resentment, as yet unspent, aroused again in her despondent thoughts, suggested by the decline of spring time. She consequently gathered a quant.i.ty of faded flowers and fallen petals, and went and interred them. Unable to check the emotion, caused by the decay of the flowers, she spontaneously recited, after giving way to several loud lamentations, those verses which Pao-yu, she little thought, overheard from his position on the mound. At first, he did no more than nod his head and heave sighs, full of feeling. But when subsequently his ear caught:
"Here I am fain these flowers to inter, but humankind will laugh me as a fool; Who knows who will, in years to come, commit me to my grave!
In a twinkle springtime draws to an end, and maidens wax in age.
Flowers fade and maidens die; and of either naught any more is known."
he unconsciously was so overpowered with grief that he threw himself on the mound, bestrewing the whole ground with the fallen flowers he carried in his coat, close to his chest. "When Tai-yu"s flowerlike charms and moon-like beauty," he reflected, "by and bye likewise reach a time when they will vanish beyond any hope of recovery, won"t my heart be lacerated and my feelings be mangled! And extending, since Tai-yu must at length some day revert to a state when it will be difficult to find her, this reasoning to other persons, like Pao-ch"ai, Hsiang Ling, Hsi Jen and the other girls, they too are equally liable to attain a state beyond the reach of human search. But when Pao-ch"ai and all the rest have ultimately reached that stage when no trace will be visible of them, where shall I myself be then? And when my own human form will have vanished and gone, whither I know not yet, to what person, I wonder, will this place, this garden and these plants, revert?"
From one to a second, and from a second to a third, he thus pursued his reflections, backwards and forwards, until he really did not know how he could best, at this time and at such a juncture, dispel his fit of anguish. His state is adequately described by:
The shadow of a flower cannot err from the flower itself to the left or the right.
The song of birds can only penetrate into the ear from the east or the west.
Lin Tai-yu was herself a prey to emotion and agitation, when unawares sorrowful accents also struck her ear, from the direction of the mound.
"Every one," she cogitated, "laughs at me for labouring under a foolish mania, but is there likely another fool besides myself?" She then raised her head, and, casting a glance about her, she discovered that it was Pao-yu. "Ts"ui!" eagerly cried Tai-yu, "I was wondering who it was; but is it truly this ruthless-hearted and short-lived fellow!"
But the moment the two words "short-lived" dropped from her mouth, she sealed her lips; and, heaving a deep sigh, she turned herself round and hurriedly walked off.
Pao-yu, meanwhile, remained for a time a prey to melancholy. But perceiving that Tai-yu had retired, he at once realised that she must have caught sight of him and got out of his way; and, as his own company afforded him no pleasure, he shook the dust off his clothes, rose to his feet and descending the hill, he started for the I Hung court by the path by which he had come. But he espied Tai-yu walking in advance of him, and with rapid stride, he overtook her. "Stop a little!" he cried.
"I know you don"t care a rap for me; but I"ll just make one single remark, and from this day forward we"ll part company."
Tai-yu looked round. Observing that it was Pao-yu, she was about to ignore him; hearing him however mention that he had only one thing to say, "Please tell me what it is," she forthwith rejoined.
Pao-yu smiled at her. "If I pa.s.s two remarks will you listen to me; yes or no?" he asked.
At these words, Tai-yu twisted herself round and beat a retreat. Pao-yu however followed behind.
"Since this is what we"ve come to now," he sighed, "what was the use of what existed between us in days gone by?"
As soon as Tai-yu heard his exclamation, she stopped short impulsively.
Turning her face towards him, "what about days gone by," she remarked, "and what about now?"
"Ai!" e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Pao-yu, "when you got here in days gone by, wasn"t I your playmate in all your romps and in all your fun? My heart may have been set upon anything, but if you wanted it you could take it away at once. I may have been fond of any eatable, but if I came to learn that you too fancied it, I there and then put away what could be put away, in a clean place, to wait, Miss, for your return. We had our meals at one table; we slept in one and the same bed; whatever the servant-girls could not remember, I reminded them of, for fear lest your temper, Miss, should get ruffled. I flattered myself that cousins, who have grown up together from their infancy, as you and I have, would have continued, through intimacy or friendship, either would have done, in peace and harmony until the end, so as to make it palpable that we are above the rest. But, contrary to all my expectations, now that you, Miss, have developed in body as well as in mind, you don"t take the least heed of me. You lay hold instead of some cousin Pao or cousin Feng or other from here, there and everywhere and give them a place in your affections; while on the contrary you disregard me for three days at a stretch and decline to see anything of me for four! I have besides no brother or sister of the same mother as myself. It"s true there are a couple of them, but these, are you not forsooth aware, are by another mother! You and I are only children, so I ventured to hope that you would have reciprocated my feelings. But, who"d have thought it, I"ve simply thrown away this heart of mine, and here I am with plenty of woes to bear, but with nowhere to go and utter them!"
While expressing these sentiments, tears, unexpectedly, trickled from his eyes.
When Lin Tai-yu caught, with her ears, his protestations, and noticed with her eyes his state of mind, she unconsciously experienced an inward pang, and, much against her will, tears too besprinkled her cheeks; so, drooping her head, she kept silent.
Her manner did not escape Pao-yu"s notice. "I myself am aware," he speedily resumed, "that I"m worth nothing now; but, however imperfect I may be, I could on no account presume to become guilty of any shortcoming with you cousin. Were I to ever commit the slightest fault, your task should be either to tender me advice and warn me not to do it again, or to blow me up a little, or give me a few whacks; and all this reproof I wouldn"t take amiss. But no one would have ever antic.i.p.ated that you wouldn"t bother your head in the least about me, and that you would be the means of driving me to my wits" ends, and so much out of my mind and off my head, as to be quite at a loss how to act for the best.