IBHB 20 - I approve of this marriage
TL: Eevee
Ed: Hungry Panda
TN: Warning. Due to the risks of overdose, this chapter is not to be taken with LSD, THC, any amphetamines, opiates or paracetamol. You have been warned.
The protests gathered strength with each pa.s.sing day, and at the same time the guilt in Senyun"s b.r.e.a.s.t.s swelled with each pa.s.sing day. Not her breast size, but her guilt. ……Actually, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s might"ve gotten a bit bigger.
Even though Ericia was buried in trash with her well-being unknown, Clarice was rea.s.sured with the thought that she had returned to her natural environment.(1) Having lost their target, the protesters" anger naturally turned to the castle walls. Looking at the trash heap that used to be the castle walls, Clarice let out a sigh of regret. Not necessarily because of the stench, but the fact that she was the one that made everyone this angry. ……Although to be honest, she couldn"t deny that it stank.
Clarice"s eyes were closed in deep thought, but now they gradually opened. Her attention was still on the protest that was still running rampant.
She made her decision
She would stop them.
***
The castle doors that was now so filthy that you could believe they were from decrepit ruins opened with a groan. The heads of the protesters all turned towards the castle gates. Knight order. Ordered ranks marched out proudly enough to make the protesters shrink back. They came to a halt right in front of the protest leader Isaprince. Isaprince gulped.
They"d been quiet for the last couple of days (although it was simply because the king fled) and is the army coming to beat us into submission?
In the lead, the captain asked Isaprince.
"Are you "Clariceisaprince?""
"Just call me Isaprince."
Isaprince calmly replied. Hm. The captain"s eyes narrowed.
"Doesn"t that sound odd to you?"
"For the record, it"s not "Prince," but "King p.e.n.i.s.""(2)
"Just use Prince!!"
Hut! The captain snapped his mind back to attention. d.a.m.n it. He fell too easily to the foe"s taunts. This wasn"t what he was here for. The captain exchanged looks with the knights and stepped aside. And like the miracle of the Red Sea the formation of the knights split apart and-
King p.e.n.i.s, no, Isaprince was horrified.
"C, Clarice-nim?!!"
Clarice walked out elegantly. Clarice held the hems of her dress and curtseyed. Madam Wellington. Can you see me? I"m greeting people as a princess this naturally.
"It"s my first time meeting you in person. Nice to meet you. I am the kingdom"s Fifth Princess Clarice. I"ve been wanting to talk with Isa…prince, ehem! Isaprince for a while now.
Why the heck did she choose that as her nickname. Clarice smiled brightly to cover up her embarra.s.sment. The surroundings instantly became an uproar. The people who came face to face with the treasure of the kingdom they all near-worshipped were swept by fever and joy. To think he became a woman, everyone was stunned by her beauty as if she had regained her original gender.
Their stunned gazes as if they were dreaming didn"t last long, and very quickly, like a flock of zombies the crowd instantly got up and ran towards Clarice. Hiiik. Becoming overcome by the pressure, Clarice hesitated. The knight order instantly huddled around Clarice. Despite that, the CLC"s hype train couldn"t be stopped.
Let"s say, for example-
"C, Clarice-nim!! Here!! Look over here!!"
And when she looked over there,
"Oh my G.o.d! Clarice-nim looked at me! She looked at me!! She turned her head and looked straight at me!!! She chose me!! I have no regrets!! They"re coming to take me to Valhalla!!!"
And suddenly shot off a fireball backwards and shot off into the sky like a fireworks.
"Hand! Please shake my hand!!!"
And when she took his hand,
"Oh my G.o.d! Clarice-nim held my hand! I"m never going to wash this hand again! From now on I"m only going to jerk off with this hand! Now it"s nothing less than having Clarice-nim jerk me off!!!"
And when he suddenly took his pants off he immediately got caught by other men and that hand became public property.
"Spit on me! No, curse me! Please call me human trash!!!!!"
And when she vehemently said "you"re like trash right now so could you please stop that?" and glared at him,
"Buhii! Buhiiiiih!!! Now I"m the prince, no! The princess"s pig!!!!"
And started oinking like a pig. Clarice felt, heaven strike her down if she lie, genuinely repulsed.
Clarice barely held onto her thread of reason that wanted to just snap and let her scream for what is was worth. Clarice was genuinely fearful. Who knew that being loved could be this scary. d.a.m.n it. If she knew this would happen she would have waited till Hero-nim came back with Senyun.
Actually, even though the CLC were normally hopelessly obsessed with Clarice, they weren"t normally this bad. It was just that, the circ.u.mstances weren"t the greatest. The joy at Clarice being rescued from the demon king was short-lived, and the news that she suddenly became a woman and was marrying the hero, gave the feeling of the so-called NTR to the CLC. To boot, all these offended people had collectively set up camp in front of the castle walls, protesting night and day for several days straight.
Their reason had long since reached their limits. They"d made the resolve to see this right to the end. How would you endure without going insane?
One knight screamed as he was swept aside by the crowd. As the formation broke down, knights began to fall one by one. And then an opening formed. Like piranhas locked onto prey, they all charged at Clarice.
There was no time to take action. It happened in an instant. Absolute chaos. The people charging in without their reason. The bloodshot eyes staring hungrily at her. The mad hands reaching for her from all directions. Ah. d.a.m.n it. Looks like it"s going to be a piece-by-piece princess inspection, Clarice thought.
Having shut her eyes in fear, the last thing Clarice had on her mind was,
None other than Minwoo.
***
Silence. The surroundings were oddly quiet. Her face being ripped off, her arms and legs separating out from each other, she didn"t feel any of that pain. Rather…., it was warm. A snugly, dependable warmth that soothed her entire being.
Clarice opened her eyes a tiny bit.
"Hero, nim…"
Minwoo was in front of her eyes. Minwoo smiled.
"Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?"
As she saw that smile, all her tightly-drawn tension fell loose, and relief rose up light fluffy clouds. Clarice"s throat dried up and she only nodded her head. She knew that having made the decision to come out of the castle on her own without discussion or planning was nothing short of shameful. But just now, Clarice was, very, very happy.
"You, you d.a.m.ned hero!! Where do you think you are!!!"
Isaprince"s rage-filled shout. Clarice finally looked around her. The CLC drew a giant circle around them as they surrounding them. Even if they wanted to come close, they could not. It was because surrounding there was a blue barrier with Minwoo as the center. A mana barrier.
The one who made that barrier was none other than Senyun.
"Ah, it, it"s been a while, my, prince….."
Senyun greeted her stiffly. With a face as red as tomato, she was standing there awkwardly as she held down the hems of her skirt. Even so, delight came before doubt. Unconsciously, Clarice sighed deeply.
Senyun scared herself s.h.i.tless in advance.
"You"re safe. I hadn"t seen you for a while, I was afraid something had happened to you."
Eh? Senyun stared blankly. You were worried about me? Indecisive as to what to do, her gaze went everywhere before it finally met Minwoo"s. "…….." Senyun wordlessly grabbed her staff. It was still too early. If I confessed everything, she really might hate me then. But-
"I"m not running away anymore. Even if I am hated, I will support His Highness"s love. "
Senyun turned to Isaprince and the rest of the CLC. Take responsibility and quell this protest. That was what she had to do right now.
As if to support her resolve a gust of wind blew in.
f.u.c.king h.e.l.l! Senyun completely forgot about putting on airs and desperately pushed her skirt down. Behind her, she heard Minwoo snickering at her expense. That little s.h.i.t. She"ll kill him someday. She WILL kill him someday. She vowed to herself with tearful eyes.
"Prince-shi, no, Senyun-shi, you"re a victim as well. So why are you interfering with us?"
"Interfering?"
Senyun"s counter question. Isaprince bitterly replied.
"Senyun-shi. You are not our enemy. That is that hero who is embracing the princess as if to show off in front of us. We the CLC have admired the princess from the darkest ages. Without any greed, all of us fairly, we watched over her warmly from afar. But this shameless hero…. He ignored us and dared to monopolise the princess! This is nothing more than cutting in! We the CLC have loved the princess for far longer!!"
The CLC surrounding her cheered their agreement. Senyun watched Isaprince wordlessly. She is surely being convinced. Her confidence boosted, Isaprince continued.
"The princess is not a single person"s belonging. She is all of ours. If that brat of a hero vanishes, then we will all be able to love the princess fairly once again."
Yandere. Minwoo thought. Woooahhhh… He"d quite liked it in 2D but now that he was face to face with it in person, it gave him the shudders and shut his mouth. This is seriously priestess-level.
Senyun had been thinking and thinking again, before she finally opened her mouth.
"Everyone"s…. But what will happen if the princess refuses you?"
"Eh? Refuses?"
Isaprince"s gaze changed. The mood froze instantly. Then, she made a smile befitting a lunatic.
"If we can"t have the princess, no one can. Not the hero, the demon king, the kingdom! No one! If we can"t have the princess, we will turn everything into cinders!"
At Isaprince"s shout that represented their fanaticism, the CLC cheered. They rejoiced. Gripped by fear, Clarice buried her face into Minwoo"s embrace. He couldn"t stand to watch this any longer. Just as he was about to step out to shut their mouths.
"You imbeciles!!!"
Ziiiing. Senyun"s voice, amplified with a Megaphone spell, echoed through all corners of the city. To a hesitating and stunned Isaprince, Senyun rounded on her like a tempest.
"If you can"t have her then you"ll do what to the princess? The princess is all of yours?! Don"t bulls.h.i.t me!!! The princess!! Is hers and not yours! Not everyone"s, but herself!!"
"Y, you…. Just what…"
"Shut up!!!"
"Hiiik!"
Put it simply, a lion"s roar. Faced with pressure like a tiger"s, Isaprince fell down on her b.u.t.t.
"Isaprince! Are you not ashamed of yourself as one of the CLC?! You are no longer CLC! Return your goods immediately and get the h.e.l.l out of the organization!!"
"Wh, what?!"
Isaprince bolted upright. Having been taunted to the extremes, she no longer understood the meaning of fear.
"You… Are you making light of my life as a CLC member?!"
"Then let me ask you this. Would one that would harm the princess with their possessiveness, truly be able to call oneself part of the CLC?"
"Possessiveness…?"
"Yeah."
What she had to say from here was not limited to just Isaprince. Senyun took a step back, looked around her and said.
"You are all making a fatal error here. We the CLC are a group dedicated to protect and love the princess, not to monopolize her and exclude others from doing the same. If we are a group truly dedicated to the princess, then is not now a moment where we should respect the princess and celebrate?!"
The CLC started to sway. Uneasiness began to sprout from mania. It was proof that Senyun"s words were having an effect.
"Isaprince. How did you come to be part of the CLC?"
"That…"
"Was it because the princess, no, Clarice-nim had a good face to BL ship him with other men?"
Isaprince flared up and yelled.
"Don"t bulls.h.i.t me! If I was that kind of fujoshi then I would never have led this protest in the first place!"
It was then.
"That reminds me I… I came into the CLC when Clarice-nim smiled at me on her way through."
The CLC member that flew into the sky with the fireball murmured. And then-
"I was touched by him when I was pushed over by the crowd and fell, and he helped me up then…"
The CLC member who had been jacking off other men murmured faintly. And then-
"Buhi… Buhhiiii… Bubuub… (The princess looked exactly the type who would be gentle by day and a dom by night and that was right up my alley…)"
The pig that oinked like a pig went buhibuhi. And then others began to reminisce and speak of their own memories. There was no more mania any more. Just a faint perfume, and the flowering of the original loving mind for Clarice.
"What did you join the CLC for?"
To Isaprince, who was watching the others, Senyun approached. Isaprince"s eyes suddenly opened widely… Before tears dropped down he face as she wailed.
"You"ll know as well… The CLC… The CLC!"
Isaprince couldn"t finish speaking. But as if to pa.s.s on the baton, the CLC member that had been jacking off and the men that had been getting jacked off shouted proudly.
"The CLC!! Is something that our lower body demands!!!"
"Is marriage important right now?!"
"Clarice-nim that became a woman!"
Feeling the flames of pa.s.sion, the men clenched their fists as one and shouted.
"""She"s so d.a.m.n s.e.xy!!"""
The CLC couldn"t restrain their overflowing emotions. All of them shouted as one.
"When does the CLC die?!!"
"Is it when your nephew steals your goods?!"
"Buhi!(No!)"
"Is it when you hear that Clarice was captured by the demon king but you were less sad and more excited over the prospect of Clarice getting trained?!"
"Buhi!!(No!!)"
"When you enter sage mode after a session!"
"When you remember your love for Clarice!!"
"Buhiiiiii!!!(And throw it away!!!)"
You young"uns. Senyun wiped her nose and felt pride running through her. To nail the hammer in the coffin she yelled.
"That"s right!! Marriage is simply marriage! Just because Clarice-nim became taken!! Our love does not change! True love! Is when no matter how your own love can"t be requited, you support and be at the back of the one you love!!! And so we the CLC! Shall cheer on the marriage between Clarice-nim and the hero!! Understood?!!"
""""Understood!!!!""""
As if she was conducting an orchestra, Senyun raised her fist high in the air and yelled.
"I! Approve!! Of this marriage!!!"
Wooooooahhhh!!!! A cheer that shook the skies, no, the heavens and the earth burst out. I approve of this marriage!!! I do!! I do!! Woooaaahhhhh!!!! The CLC cheered heartily left and right.
And there were those who watched this spectacle from start to finish.
"Clarice."
"Yes."
The gazes of the two met and they both sighed.
"Wouldn"t it have been better if this kind of country had fallen to the demon king?"
"Would it not have been better if this kind of country had fallen to the demon king?"
Author"s note
Q. Is this kind of development alright?
A. It"s okay. No problems.
The Speartihta parody that everyone in the know will know….(3) I seriously wondered is it really alright to lead the story like this? as I wrote it.
Honest;;
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Which one of these drugs are not like the others~
(1) Holy s.h.i.te Clarice them sick burns
(2) Prince and King p.e.n.i.s both in English, see Chapter 16 notes for details
(3) More accurately, most of this chapter is a parody of THIS (untranslated) comic, which describes a patch in the Nexon game Vindictus, which at the time, nerfed the spear capabilities of "Spin2win" Lann (Lethita in the KR version), a character capable of using dual spears, and at the same time buffed Fiona and Evie/Evy, two popular female characters. Ironically enough, this comic took off and became a meme in Korea, to the point where Nexon eventually buffed Lann back so that he was even better and easier to use than before his nerf. (Allegedly. I never played it so I"m going off what history I trawled.)