Li Xiqing patiently swept everything. He paid attention to every corner, not wanting to miss any tiny pieces. He also grabbed some bread and bent down on four legs on the floor; he started to look for those small pieces. He didn"t want them to accidentally p.r.i.c.k her feet in case she didn"t wear any slippers.
After he was done, he looked around and found Shao Yan was still standing still, not moving.
He walked closer to her, and knocked his knuckle gently on her forehead, "What were you thinking just now? So careless."
Shao Yan returned to her senses and lifted her head to look at him. "When you were there, did you see… did you happen to see a picture of me on the wall?"
Li Xiqing paused; he was debating if he should admit or pretend he did not see anything.
But sooner or later they would have to talk about this. So he nodded, "En... I think it was from your university days?"
Shao Yan went quiet for a while, and then she took his hand, "Li Xiqing.. let"s talk" without waiting for him to answer, she held their hands together and dragged him to the living room.
She gently pushed him to the sofa first before she settled down next to him. "T...That old man.. He... I knew him before" She paused for a while. Li Xiqing didn"t rush her nor cut her off; he just let her ease down and continue when she was ready.
"I went there a few years ago to buy a camera from him. His son also went to the same university as I did."
She was still holding onto his hands, "I told you about him before, do you remember? His son is Zhong Yu."
Shao Yan tried to think about how and what to say next.
"Uh... Li..Liwei was the one who brought me there. He also bought a camera for me, Xiqing. But after I left him, I donated the camera away." she unconsciously squeezed his hands tighter.
As if she realized what she had done, she let them go, and then leaned back to the sofa.
Her face was pale. Li Xiqing could see her worry was written all over her face. She gnawed her bottom lips, and her head was tilted down; her fingers were pulling at each other. She opened her mouth slightly, but no words came out of it.
She closed it again, and took a deep breath; before slowly breathed them out.
"Xiqing, I have been hiding something from you." her voice started to quiver. But she took a deep breath to calm herself down. "I have been lying to you, and I feel so guilty about it." she paused for a while.
She slowly lifted her face and stared deep into his eyes "I"m sorry, Xiqing.."
"....I was married once before" she lightly scrunched her eyebrows, her eyes were showing so much pain ".....To Liwei..."
He did not show any emotions on his face. He slowly leaned back on the sofa and patiently waited for her to continue. His jaw went stiff, and she could see his pupil went dark for a moment.
After that one word "Married" came out of her mouth, she felt that all gates of truth were finally opened, and she started to tell him more.
"We met at the university through my roommate. Her brother was a friend of Liwei" she looked down at her joint fingers again. "We dated for about ten months and got married after graduation, and then moved to country U...."
And then all of a sudden, she went silent for a while. Her mind was wandering off, trying to piece the story for him.
"It started fine. We adjusted to the hectic life easily. But as he got more successful, things got busier, and we slowly drifted apart."
Subconsciously, Shao Yan was becoming more and more afraid of losing Li Xiqing.
She kept thinking of how much she wanted to forget the past. But the fact was, the past was indeed a part of her. And he had every right to know what that was.
Every time she wanted to tell him, an inner voice kept nagging her not to ruin the happiness in her hands. And Shao Yan was torn in between.
But one thing that she learned from her past, was that honesty and trust were the essences in a relations.h.i.+p.
She did not want to keep hiding this thing from him. It was not fair to him. And she wanted to be able to lift herself again and be confident in her relations.h.i.+p with him.
"We saw each other less and less. And when we finally faced one another, we would only argue"
Her voice was so soft. She had decided to tell him everything now, and she would face the consequences from her lies later.
As she reminisced the past, all her pain and heartache started to come back. "I fought so hard to keep it together. But it took two hands to clap" she clenched her fist, "and I couldn"t do it on my own"
"After so much fights and argument, we finally decided to have a vacation together." She slowly raised her lips and showed a bitter smile, "To give ourselves second chance."
She snorted softly, "But even when we were away, he would still be occupied with his phone" She slowly shook her head, "I had to face the hard truths. His body and his heart were no longer mine".
She took a deep breath and slowly breathed out, "The last straw was three years ago..."
She bit her lower lip so hard, and when she let it go, Li Xiqing could see her tooth marks even from this distance. His hands unconsciously clenched, and he wanted to pull her to his embrace and stop her. But he stopped himself. They had to go through this together.
Her voice was shaking, she was holding firm to continue, "I came back home earlier from work. I still remember that it was raining that day..."
She was staring at the corner of the living room and lost herself to three years ago.