With every inch he came in closer, it was even more difficult to breathe which made it hard for me to stay still as I feel my face burn in embarra.s.sment. "So… why would you go to some guy"s house and let him do whatever he want when you"re supposed to marry me in 2 months?"Jungkook asks me with every movement of his lips distracting me from the reality of his words. It was as if I was his reflection, when he bites his lips. so, did I.
"I don"t want anyone else to have your heart, to kiss your lips or be in your arms. I don"t want anyone to take my place" Jungkook says with every word sticking onto my heart as if my heart couldn"t let go
"I don"t love you and I"m not planning on loving you... I have Mingyu" I state coldly, my heart felt as if it didn"t agree to the words that unknowingly came out of my mouth.
I slowly push him away as I slow begin to walk away. I feel the cold tension in that dark room as I slowly make my way to the bedroom.
I open the big bedroom door to see a bouquet of flowers sitting on a small sofa with a big teddy bear holding it in its arms. I look around, shock at this view as my hand slowly falls down from the door k.n.o.b and hits my thighs.
This is probably Jungkook"s first time ever to confess his feelings. It was so innocent and pure, yet it hurts me, making me regret everything I said a few minutes ago.
I feel like a horrible person to not love my own fiancée, who will always me by my side in the darkest moments, happiest moments and even in my weakest times. How will I continue to live with this pain in my chest?
"You can sleep first" Jungkook instructed, standing behind me. His voice echoes through my ears as I lay down his bed with my eyes fill with tears, "Are you not going to sleep?" I ask uncomfortably.
"I will later… Just give me some time" Jungkook whispers under his breath. I knew something was wrong from the tone of his voice, through those brown eyes that are like sweet chocolate.
The chocolate that melts at the slightest bit of the heat from love, or happiness. But tonight, that chocolate grows hard from the cold harsh reality that is apparent in this world.
Heartbreak, or the depression that he tried to hide from all those around him. Tonight, he told me that he was jealous, that he wants to kiss me and make me his and his only. But he fears that I"ll be disgusted of his desire to learn to love me.
That cold winter night with the silver moon, high in the dark sky, Jungkook stands restlessly staring into nothing but out the window. I didn"t understand why he was just standing there. I didn"t dare to close my eyes, afraid of having that nightmare… I hate that feeling that washes over me every time I try to fall asleep…
Tonight, was one of the worst nights I spent with Jungkook, not only because he "confessed" to me but because I wasn"t able to read his expression anymore. I knew something was wrong but... what?
In my nightmare, I am tapped in Jimin"s arms. I can"t move my arms or my legs, I feel Jimin"s hands touching me roughly as he pins me against my own bed. I feel that slap as my ears ring in pain, I feel it every night, the same pain I felt that day. It was as if it was just a reply of the real situation.
It is like 5:00 am in the morning, I wake up in the arms of Jungkook and just as the bite of wind creeps under my night gown, Jungkook"s hands move over my hips, warm and soft. In seconds his body molded to my own, sharing his body heat was magical as a small smile forms on my face.
I could never let him do this but it"s his arms that I need this time. If I am to spend my whole life with him… I have to get used to this right? I feel like a baby as he pulls me closer to him, feeling his chest pressing onto my own. His face lips were like 4 inches away from mine, I couldn"t help but lick my lips.
"Jungkook" I softly whisper, it has a different tone and meaning to it. "Mmmmmh?" he answers to my calling, "We need to go" I said with a smile on my face. I"m so lucky he is not seeing this!
5:30, that bright yellow morning
There were plasma screens of arrival and departure times on the wall of the airport. People were lined up at the check in desk with suitcases and baggage. There was a sculpture of a whale with water cascading from its mouth and flowing down it"s tail flukes.
As always, Seoul"s Airport is the best place I can ever think of, with its people and culture. Fans were everywhere! I couldn"t hear anything but screams and good luck wishes for me and Jungkook. I smile so wide but today, I didn"t feel so fake anymore. What"s wrong with me?
"Yoon Byeol-ah! Have fun with Jungkook! Don"t get sick! And come back safely" – Fans
7:00, Departure
From the window of the plane the wing engine is semi illuminated, the lower half shining around the rim, the upper half several shades darker. As the plane dips the line between shadow and light moves, and all the while I listen to the hum of the rotors.
After an hour of silence, the bright sun soon disappears and the whole plain becomes dark. The lighting and the sun upon the cloud tops was the only brightness that day.
"looks like it"s going to be stormy" Jungkook states with the deepest voice there ever was, making me lose my focus on everything but his voice as it sends chills down my spine.
"I hope nothing happens in this plain." I said, tightly grabbing onto my soft bunny pillow that I got from a fan this morning. I always get travel sickness and without Mingyu, I don"t know what will happen.
"Are you going to be okay?" he asks, satisfying me in every way possible, "Yeah… I hope so" I force a smile to feel his hands holding onto mine as a comfort. I take deep breaths when suddenly the plain becomes unstable.
The emergency lights turn off as everything went completely pitch black, I scream when I lost grip of Jungkook"s hand, "Jungkook! Where are you!" I cried out.
"It"s okay I"m right here" Jungkook"s voice gave me hope, as my own heartbeat echoes through my ears, I feel him pulling me in his embrace. In the darkness, we clasp each other in a warm, slow and luxurious hug.