I Don't Love You

There comes a point in all-natural romances where they must progress, but I"m scared… I"m scared to fall in love with you...

I look away as I slightly push him away, I didn"t want to lose control and forget about what I said to him last night.

I feel him pulling as in for a kiss but stops after a few inches away, "I am going to make you fall in love me in 2 months that you will forget about Mingyu" Jungkook whispers.

Jungkook moves his head closer to mine. I sit frozen, from both fear and excitement. He leans in, so his foreheads rests against mine. I close my eyes.

Both our breaths are shaking. "Thank you," He says in barely more than a whisper, his voice was low and husky, "F-for what?" I ask with a weird look. "For being with me." his voice wavers, exhilarated from the tension between us.

He gently leans in and kisses my warm lips. His lips were warm and tasted of mint; he had obviously been chewing gum earlier.

For a moment I forgot about Mingyu but as I feel Jungkook pulling me in, I was scared. That time with Jimin came in my head… I saw that look he gave me when he saw me naked on the floor.

My eyes were filled with warm tears as the lights above starts to flicker back on, with a single blink, I felt a single tear sliding down my right cheek.

Jungkook looks at me confused about the situation, "D-did I hurt you?" Jungkook asks to hear no answer from me. "If I did… please tell me, I won"t do it again" Jungkook adds quickly trying to comfort me.

"It hurts me because you are just using my body to pleasure yourself. You don"t care if I don"t like it or not." I sate coldly.

I sigh and sat back properly as I look out the rainy, dark window. We didn"t even talk until we finally arrive Shanghai, it was cold and stormy. I hate it.

Hotel Room

"I hate this awkward silence between us... Please talk to me" Jungkook asks as he sat on the bed with half his shirt unb.u.t.toned.

I didn"t dare to look as I stroll through facts about Jungkook because my fans all recommended it to me, I mean I wasn"t going to look but there is nothing to do right now…

"Yoon Byeol-ah" Jungkook calls my name smoothly, the baritone of his voice reverberating through my bones as I feel him walking towards me.

The low rumble of his voice is comforting as if it was wrapping around me, carrying me off to a world where sound is the power that could change everything wrong in the world.

My eyes widen as I read "Jungkook"s birth mother died in a car crash", her anniversary was yesterday. I turn off my phone, biting my lips in anger.

Why didn"t he tell me? Is that why he was just standing and staring out the window last night? I asked myself.

Lightning came, a brilliant shock of white in the graphite sky, forking silently to the unsuspecting ground - the thunderous boom always calling its warning too late.

I jump and ran into Jungkook"s embrace; this was not what I planned. Lightning terrifies me. I hate it. I am the one need comfort right now but, Jungkook needs it more.

I wrap my arms around his wide shoulders with my short arms only half way, pulling him in as I whisper, "Why didn"t you tell me?". I don"t know what I"m doing right now but I know he needed it.

Jungkook stays silent as I continue to rock him softly. The sound of emptiness was disrupted by the loud gregarious boom of thunder. The cold icy rain pierced my pale skin, shivering as I held onto Jungkook.

Then, I remembered… Mingyu must be in Shanghai already. I wanted to go and see him but I can"t just leave Jungkook like this, "W-what do you mean?" Jungkook asks making me snap back to reality.

"It"s okay, you can cry…" I said with a soft smile, I can"t believe he wore a mask and fool everyone including me. It must"ve been hard.

Lightning cut crazy zig-zags into the black sky, each of them painting a previously unseen path, I was not the only one who was scared but Jungkook, who was hugging me tightly as if he would never let go.

"U-uh… Jungkook, I c-can"t breathe" I mumble, struggling to push him. "I"m sorry…" Jungkook suddenly apologises making me feel awkward because of the weird position I"m in.

"W-what"s wrong?" I ask trying to breathe in his tight embrace but... as soon as I try to push and get out of his grip, the tighter he held me.

"It"s okay Jungkook, it"s okay…. It"s not your fault" I slowly said, patting his wide shoulders as I heard cute sniffs coming from Jungkook.

Next Day, 7:30 am

I open my eyes to see Jungkook"s well defined jawline, perfect lips and the smell of his manliness caught me off guard. He was only a few inches away.

H-His left hand was on my hips with his chest pressing my own. As I tried to get of bed, I heard a manly moan as he pulls me into a spoon position.

I froze, this is the first time ever! I stare blankly at the wall as I feel him breathing behind me, "Why do you do this?" Jungkook asks, sending chills down my spine.

"What?" I asked as I turn around to look at him, "Next minute, you hug and even kiss me and then all of a sudden you tell me you don"t love me – What is it that you want? Why do you do this?" Jungkook asks, leaving me completely blank minded.

"Why? I thought you needed comforting last night because of your mother…. Uh… I"m sorry, I didn"t know anything about it" I apologize with a pouting face, "No… I liked it" Jungkook smiles.

"I have never been hugged in like forever" Jungkook says pulling me in his embrace, "You see, my mother was the only person I could touch so when she was gone… I was all alone." Jungkook continues with every single word he said echoing in my head.

"And no… I don"t get any pleasure when I kiss or hug you. I hate seeing you cry because… I know how much you love Mingyu. I"m sorry for being selfish and I"m sorry that I have to be the man you marry..." Jungkook"s voice is a voice that boomed across the sky.

I could listen to it all day. It was a voice to sink in as it wraps you up. Our cuddles are like a little touch of heaven, warm, together, cozy. I wish I could extend the morning just so I could stay close to him for longer, safe in his embrace.

I heard my phone vibrating on my table, I sigh as I got up and answered the phone to hear Mingyu on the other side, "Baby, I"m in Shanghai. I miss you! Can you please come over?". I look over at Jungkook, he smiles at me. What should I do?