More realizations, more reflections, more advice from Al. Enjoy the chapter!
TL: clover
ED: clover
While I was shocked, Al said to comfort me.
"It"s alright, you can rest a.s.sured. Because I don"t believe it."
"Al……"
I looked up at Al as if depending my life on him. He nodded firmly after seeing my eyes.
"Will have been telling this story for a long time, but I don"t believe him and I will not let you becoming a 『villainess』. But, it is sad that you have common features with the story. You have the same name and the same standing position. So, I think that we cannot disregard everything, that is not wise."
"Yes."
"What can we do about this? I don"t know the authenticity, but I can get information from my brother. I hope you can make the most of it. Take up behaviors opposite to a 『villainess』 so as not to become one. That way, you will not become a 『villainess』."
I nodded many times over.
What Al said is correct.
Nothing has begun yet. Because I haven"t done anything—well, no, I regret the matter about the dress—it is only a matter of not taking the actions taken by a 『villainess』.
In other words, it"s the same as what I have decided yesterday. I only have to become a perfect lady.
If I do that, I will not become a 『villainess』 and will not go through a bitter experience in the future.
"I will do my best……"
Saying so from my heart, Al nodded.
"Yeah. I will also cooperate. I think that you are fine though. Really, I wonder which part of an honest and cute girl like you can be called a 『villainess』."
"T-thank you very much……"
If I hadn"t realized it, I would have agreed with all my heart and said "That"s right!" but now, I can only avert my eyes. Truly, my heart hurts.
What have I been doing until now?
I have been turning my eyes away from my actions, and at this point of time, I can only sigh.
"I will try not to disappoint Al. Also, that"s right. You must be in a hurry, but I have something I would like to consult with you."
"What is it?"
The way he tilted his head feels charming. In spite of myself, I became excited. I hid it and talked about yesterday. I had been thinking to consult about it with him since the start, but after I listened to such a story, the more I thought that I couldn"t do this alone. I"m glad that Al became a cooperator.
"Um, I have an exclusive butler. He was the one who brought the tea a while ago, but um, I was worried about how to get along with him."
"Aah, the one just now. He looked young."
I agreed with Al who was nodding as he recalled Luke.
"Yes. This is what he declared himself, but it seems that he"s 14 years old this year. His name is Luke. And um……this is my worry, but it seems I cannot communicate with him at all, that"s how I feel."
"Communication? Any examples in particular?"
"He"s frightened just by looking at my face……and then, unconsciously, I lost it and struck him. Ah, of course I didn"t raise my hands. Just words, but……"
"Words, huh. Did this only happen recently? Or has he always been this way?"
The way he was asking about the details showed that he was seriously listening to my story. While thinking that I appreciated it, I replied.
"……this is shameful, but um……he has been in this state for a long period of time. I cannot make an excuse, but it was not until yesterday that I felt uncomfortable whether his state was abnormal."
"Was there a sudden change in his att.i.tude yesterday?"
Naturally, I shook my head.
"No. There wasn"t any. It"s strange, but when I think back, Luke always seems to have that kind of att.i.tude towards me. And I had never thought to question it."
"Nevertheless, why did you notice it yesterday?"
"That"s……there was that thing about the 『villainess』. I think that I became overly sensitive to various things. I became worried about things I usually never thought about……"
I honestly told him. After looking like he was thinking it over for a bit, Al told me with a serious face.
"What kind of words did you say to your butler? Can you tell me about it?"
"That is……"
Hearing Al"s words, I was shaken to the core.
I said numerous remarks to Luke. I can recall them, but if I was asked whether I could tell Al, the answer is "no". I don"t want Al to know the things I had said to Luke.
—Aah, I see.
And then, I finally noticed.
I feel troubled if the things I told Luke became known to other people.
I bit my lip.
Looking at me who had been silent, Al told me quietly.
"From your appearance, you finally notice it, huh? I will tell you just in case, but if you can"t tell me the details, that means it"s a 『bad thing』, Lily. You did bad things against your butler. Words can be hurtful. Sometimes, it hurts more than physical violence. You should know how that feels, because you experienced it yesterday, right?"
"Ah……"
Al was talking about Prince Wilfred.
Didn"t I get badly hurt by Prince Wilfred"s words?
I received such a shock that I couldn"t say that 「it"s just words」 and laugh, so I wonder if I deserved to get Al"s cooperation now when I am like this.
And if I think carefully, I had thrown words with thorns directly at Luke. There is no doubt that he was hurt more than I was who only heard Prince Wilfred"s words indirectly. Moreover, this has been going on for a long time.
I became aware of what I have been doing wrong for a long time, and I was lost for words.
This is not on the scale of the previous dress matter. I thought that there is no excuse even if I didn"t raise my hands against him.
"I, I……what should I do……"
"There is no choice but to apologize for your past behavior. Especially if you have an awareness that you did a bad thing."
"Apologize. T-that"s true."
I don"t know if Luke will forgive me, but for the time being, I have to apologize.