How will Lily"s apologize turn out? Enjoy the chapter!
TL: clover
ED: clover
"Okay……I will do it."
After Al had went home for some time, I adjusted my breathing and called my butler.
I had vowed to Al. I understood that I did something bad to Luke and I thought that I should apologize to him quickly.
"Simple, this is simple. Just apologize to Luke for what I have done……um, that"s right. I only have to say words that I can report back to Al."
I told myself so.
For me who hasn"t yet understood what is right and what is wrong, saying 「words that can be reported back to Al」 is very easy to comprehend.
"……pardon me. Did you call me, Milady?"
Before long, I heard a knocking sound. Luke came in when I permitted him to enter.
As usual, there is not a single wrinkle on his uniform, he seems to grow accustomed to his uniform. And for the first time, I noticed that his expression was never bright.
—I wonder if it"s because I called for him.
Normally, if one was called by a loving master, one would reveal joy. However, there is only trepidation in his eyes.
My only salvation is that there is no hatred visible……or maybe, it is just being carefully hidden.
When I reached that idea, I feel unpleasant.
I wonder why I didn"t notice such simple things until now. If I observed Luke even a little, I would have realized it sooner.
—Now, I have something to do before I reflect on that.
I forcibly lifted up my declining mood. I smiled as much as possible to keep a friendly att.i.tude.
"Luke. I"m sorry for my actions until now. I am in the wrong for treating you harshly."
"Hah?"
Luke stared at me with a suspicious expression when I got down to the main issue abruptly. Ignoring that, I said.
"I"m very remorseful that I have been hurting your feelings until now. I swear I will not do it anymore from now on. But, I think that you are also in the wrong. Because you were cowering too much, it made me lose my patience……ah."
"Um, Liz-sama?"
Perhaps he was curious as to why I suddenly stopped my words, Luke talked to me cautiously, but I got caught up with something more important.
—Oh no. I told him that he was also in the wrong.
Against my better judgement, I told him what I really think.
To be honest, I still don"t think that I did such a terrible thing towards Luke. If the att.i.tude of the servants is not good, it is the job of their master to reprimand them, and the relationship between the master and servant is never equal.
The master gives meals, shelter, and wages to their servants. On the other hand, the servant gives respect, affection and labor to their master in return. It is not a good idea for them to point negative feelings towards their master who is their patron.
There seems to be some masters who act violently against their servants, but I haven"t done it, I only threw some bad words……aah. Didn"t Al just tell me that words can be hurtful?
Even though I also have experienced it and understood how it feels, how deplorable. Truly, I seem to be a woman who doesn"t learn.
But, the biggest problem is that I cannot report the latter half of my words to Al.
In the end, while saying that I am remorseful, I told him 「You are also in the wrong」.
I"m sure Al would say "What are you doing? Aren"t you going to apologize?" while looking at me with a disappointed expression.
—I don"t want that.
I think of Al"s face. I don"t want to disappoint that beautiful person who has done so much for me.
I have to smooth this over somehow.
"Ah—……r-right. I take back my previous words. It was all my fault. Um, even if I am your master, I shouldn"t hurt your feelings with terrible words. I will change my att.i.tude from now on, so I wonder if you can forgive me soon."
Why should a master be asking for forgiveness? Doubt crossed the corner of my mind, but I decided to ignore it for now.
Anyway, I said what I have to say. This way……yeah, it would be safe to report this to Al.
I guess that worked quite well.
While I was praising myself in my mind, Luke opened his mouth with a face like eating a bitter pill.
"……What"s wrong, Milady? Suddenly apologizing. Did you eat something strange?"
"That"s not it! Why are you showing that kind of reaction! Normally, you would be emotionally moved and say 「No, Liz-sama did nothing bad. I am the one in the wrong. Nevertheless, I am disqualified as your attendant, I should be more mindful about my master. 」 , right!"
"……should I say so? If that"s the case, then you should say it from the start……"
"Didn"t I say that wasn"t it!?"
If possible, I do want him to say that, but I glanced at Luke.
"I! I regretted my att.i.tude so far! You see, you are always cowering in front of me. Even yesterday you were like that! You, do you think that I will hit you? Because you displayed such att.i.tude, I have to ponder about it a lot and reflect on it!"
"Eh? Reflecting? You? Moreover, now after all this time? I mean……"
"Aah, that"s not it!"
Luke made a face as if saying "d.a.m.n it." That kind of expression, I saw it for the first time.
Perhaps, this is his true face? If so, he might have been very patient with me for quite a while.
No, it is the servant"s duty to "kill" their "self" for the sake of their master. As expected, I am not at fault. Staring at Luke, he hurriedly lowered his head.
"M-my apologies. Milady. I will accept any scolding……"
"That"s right……I mean, that"s not it!"
I thought about what kind of penalty should be given to Luke whose body is trembling……but then I returned to my senses.
No, that"s not it.
That has nothing to do with this.
I shook my head and let my thoughts reset.
"I will not scold you just because of……such a trivial matter. ……What did I say a little while ago? I will change my att.i.tude from now on. You don"t need to hold yourself back from me, and you don"t need to mind the things you say to me. I will not give you punishment."
I told Luke earnestly as much as possible.
To tolerate a servant to this extent, I wonder if my heart is too wide. Surely, Luke will also feel moved. That"s what I thought, but for some reason Luke is looking at me with a suspicious expression.
"Eh……are you serious? This is not a bad joke?"
"No!"
I retorted reflexively, but surprisingly Luke didn"t believe me.
"I have a change of heart. This me who has a change of heart will not yell at you unreasonably. I won"t behave irrationally."
"……really?"
"Yes."
"You said that you won"t mind even if I say honestly what I thought?"
"That"s right."
When I patiently nodded, after a while, Luke said.
"Who are you? Are you a fake wrapped in Milady"s skin?"
Now, I know that there is a limit to tolerance as well.
"That"s terrible! You, do you always have this kind of personality!?"
"No, well, because……for Milady to apologize and say that it"s fine for me to say what I like……it"s unlike the usual."
"You, just what exactly do you think of me?"
He averted his eyes slowly. How awful.
Since I never did it, Luke doesn"t believe that my apologies were true.
Certainly it is difficult to say that everything I said was true, but I do regret that I was too over-the-top with my hurtful remarks.
"Words sometimes hurt more than physical violence. I knew that as I experienced it yesterday. That"s why……I thought that you were hurt, and I regret that……but regarding that, you won"t believe me."
"……Because, scolding me is Milady"s hobby, right?"
"Hobby……"
Looking at Luke in shock, he only tilted his head as if saying "It"s not?" It seems that he seriously thinks so.
—Did he think that I am someone who scolds servants as a hobby?
He thought of me as such an outrageous master, huh.
I was severely beaten by Luke"s words.
Certainly, in retrospect, I called Luke many times a day and lashed out at him if I wasn"t pleased with him. Because he is the one I picked up. If he were abandoned by me, he wouldn"t be alive, that"s why I did as I please as much as I wanted.
—The worst.
Again, I am disgusted by my own actions. When I fell silent, Luke asked while looking at my complexion.
"Um, Milady?"
"At any rate, I regretted it. So, you only have to say 「I forgive you」. Do you understand?"
"……if you"re fine with me saying something that is not necessarily the truth."
"Then it will be useless!"
When I glared at him, Luke drew his body back cautiously. Even such actions showed that he is still scared of me.
"……I"m sorry for shouting at you. That……well, you don"t have to forgive me right now. But, um……do you dislike me?"
"I don"t particularly dislike you."
"Really?"
Luke"s reply was surprising because I kept thinking that I was clearly disliked.
With shining eyes, Luke nodded quietly.
"Yes. I truly wished you to stop shouting and throwing terrible words at me, but I don"t dislike you. I sincerely thank you for picking me up at that day."
"I, I see……that"s good, then."
—『Villainess』 is hated by their family members and servants.
I asked that because I was worried, but apparently Luke doesn"t dislike me.
That"s good. That"s really good.
Just as I was celebrating, Luke said.
"Really, I already resigned myself that Milady was such a person. Also, I thought that the divine punishment will hit you someday, so I should just put up with you……ah."
My high spirits quickly sank to the bottom of the earth.
"Ah, is that so. You, you really used lots of rude words, huh."
"M-my apologies."
I took back my previous words. As expected I am hated by Luke.