Now it was 6am. However, I had been lying on the bed for one hour with my eyes open.
I had thought a lot in my mind.
Last night, I promised you that I would tell you some more details about what happened yesterday. In fact, those details made me feel that my dad was trying to be his former self. I meant those years before I was 18, when my grandma had not retired and my dad had not been the president yet.
All of you were asking me how I got along with my dad before I was 18 and why I said I had an awkward relationship with my dad now... Originally, I thought it had nothing to do with his being a cross-dresser, so I didn"t want to talk about it with you.
But just now I realized that his change was because of me.
So did those details yesterday.
Yesterday, when I, my roommate and his girlfriend met my dad together, my dad was wearing a casual suit with sneakers, which made me surprised.
With it, he looked quite young and handsome. Therefore, I thought he looked like my brother rather than my dad.
I had to tell you that he seldom wore such a suit in office hours. Wait...In my memory, he had never worn such a suit!
Moreover, I found that was a new one.
Why did he buy a new suit and wear it to meet my cla.s.smates? ?
If this was the plot of a drama, I would doubt whether he had a crush on one of my cla.s.smates or not. So that he wanted to have such a young look... But it was not. And I was a guy of keen perception. So I could guess the reason why my dad had such a different look.
In fact, when my dad stood in front of me with that casual suit, I felt that he was trying to treat me in the way he used to be.
No matter his dressing or his att.i.tude towards me were closing to that in the past.
Having realized it, I felt surprised and panicked.
After all, he had treated me indifferently for two years.
Although he was still good to me usually, he, as the foster father, was so cold.
While two years ago, he treated me sincerely, which made me warm.
Before I was 18, it was my grandma who took charge of the company. Then my dad was just an average staff. When we were together, we, like brothers and friends, played together and talked with each other. And he didn"t want me to call him "Dad".
Well, it seemed that I was full of emotional thoughts.
Probably it was because of my dad. Last night, when we walked home together, I felt quite comfortable. It was such a familiar experience. I remembered that one day I was unhappy in my junior year, when he accompanied me and took a walk outside until midnight.
He was the one who was cold on the outside and warm on the inside. When I was young, he was not only keen to give me money, but also liked preparing many surprises for me.
The first time I had a crush on a girl, he said that he would help me pursue her. I asked him, "Didn"t u worry that it would result in a drop in my grade?"
"As long as you liked, you could be "Feiwu (means a useless man) Dianxin (means cookies)" in lifetime without working," he said. "I could support you all your life."
By the way, he liked calling me "Feiwu Dianxin" at that time or "Dianxin" sometimes.
Oh My G.o.d! Thinking of it now, I felt it was so intimate a nickname.
Please don"t think too much of it. The reason why I said these things was to explain the question you asked me about the relationship between me and my dad. We were indeed closed to each other in the past.
Well, it changed after my 18th birthday.
My birthday was in spring, when my grandma was to retire and then my dad took charge of the company instead of my grandma.
Maybe it was the change of his ident.i.ty that made him become rigorous and serious. Originally, he said little. But now, he was even like an iceberg.
He was not only cold to the staff but also to me.
Gradually, we rarely played together, or even talked less to each other.
To be honest, I had been spoiled by him since he brought me home. I had never felt left out before. Therefore, I felt quite wronged and lost my temper with him.
As a result, no matter how I was in a mood, he didn"t change his att.i.tude to me.
I felt so confused and angry. What exactly did I do wrong?
It was no exaggeration to say that these two years I couldn"t help thinking that whether he wanted to abandon me. For this, I felt upset that I talked to my roommate. Since then, we became close friends.
Before, I said it was not easy that I didn"t become a useless man although my dad spoiled me through giving me money.
In fact, every day what I was thinking about was how to be a useful and excellent person. Or I would be abandoned by my dad, my grandma and the family. I was working hard every day! Oh My G.o.d!
But now I had accepted the att.i.tude of my dad towards me. After all, I had grown up. And I realized that the sense of security was given by myself.
Also, I found that I could think from the perspective of an adult when I was facing with my dad.
It was hard to explain.
To put it simply, it seemed that I could guess his motivation through his behavior.
Yesterday, for example, when I found that he wore a casual suit, I knew that he wanted to get along with me as before.
I guessed that for this reason, he took the initiative to let me come to his new house before I spoke.
And I knew what kind of person he used to be.
If he was just trying to be nice to me and spoil me, he would buy me some presents and prepare some surprises to make me happy. But he was not. So I could guess what he really wanted to do.
Haha, my dad had a secret!
Well, instead of feeling relaxed, I felt a bit panicked.
I knew that some of you could read minds. Maybe you could help me a.n.a.lyze my dad"s thoughts.
My father just knocked on my door and asked me to have breakfast. So I had to leave you for a while.