Chapter 171 - You Are Different
You are different
I swallowed a gulp.
I had a lot to say, but it couldn’t get out, and it lingered around the tip of my neck.
I have something to say, but my attention was taken from other places than that. The place where Ricdorian’s lips went all the way.
Where the Black Rose tattoo is.
If only he gave a little more power over there… The tattoo will appear like blood.
My back was slightly stretched and I felt a sense of tension.
When the tattoo appears, it will naturally connect with Chaser.
It wasn’t good to be like that in this situation. Even more so when he showed his deep hatred and disillusionment towards Chaser.
I exhaled slowly, clasping my hands and opening them.
Ricdorian told me that he kept hating the man who killed his father. In other words, an indelible hatred already existed.
Even this is being used as a tool to gain compa.s.sion for me.
It was sad, but at the same time I knew what this meant.
“Don’t think like that.”
I moved my finger slightly. He pulled it and grabbed my finger.
The hand holding me trembled for a moment.
“I understood your heart well.”
I couldn’t even imagine what kind of heart it would be to want someone to the point of being ruined.
“I don’t know if I deserve to say this.”
If there was one thing he wasn’t different from four years ago, it was this.
“I hope you don’t think like that.”
He always went all out with his body.
Without thinking about the outcome, with a gaze close to raw, it was as if he would give everything he had.
You were like this 4 years ago when you were hanging on the cage and crying.
“You.”
“Huh?”
“Deserve it, yes.”
As if he felt I was about to get out, he grabbed my hand more anxiously.
Even if he let go of this hand for a moment, I won’t run away.
“Why don’t you deserve it?”
Now, holding my hand with both hands, he brought it to his forehead and said,
“I want to give you everything.”
He looked reverent as if he was praying to G.o.d, but the voice that came out was low and weak, as if it were going to break.
“…am I not enough?”
He breathed heavily, like a man who had fallen into the water and was in a hurry. Seeing him like that, my heart throbbed slightly, like when Pudding’s claws stabbed my chest.
I’m sorry.
I stretched out a hand that was not caught while looking at the bent back.
I grabbed Ricdorian’s face and pulled him up. Soon, the watery, but reddened face after he struggled to hold back his tears turned towards me.
“I didn’t mean to see you bend your back like this.”
I hesitated for a moment, then gently rubbed his eyes. He slowly closes his eyes and opens them.
“And the word not enough doesn’t suit you. It’s not for me to judge.”
The caught wrist is still a problem.
“I just said it because I wanted you to cherish yourself a little more.”
That was all I wanted 4 years ago. This is what I sincerely hoped for.
That Ricdorian appeared with only one thing I had hoped for.
Judging from the fact that his closest confidant, Jaire, had a hard time speaking, what he got in return for his awakening was probably not a normal side effect.
I asked him to stay healthy, but he did not listen.
He stood with a more pitiful gaze than in the past.
He had been weeping, but now with his eyes full of deeper and indescribable things.
Have I ever seen eyes like this?
I’ve seen something similar.
‘Chaser.’
However, it was clearly different from the obsession that Chaser had shown.
“This is a place where you can do that now.”
Instead of talking about his side effects, I said that.
But I couldn’t stand the lingering words on my lips and added,
“What kind of pain did you go through before this happened?”
Ricdorian paused. There’s no way he didn’t know what I’m talking about.
“It hurt.”
He lowered his gaze for a moment at my words filled with conviction rather than a question, and then looked at me again.
“It’s only a little hurt, Iana.”
He did not deny the pain. He was different from four years ago when he didn’t know pain was pain. That’s good though.
Ricdorian touched my hand with his thumb. It wasn’t a gesture of seduction.
“Thanks to you for letting me know about pain, I knew I was hurt.”
His thumb pressed against the palm of my hand.
It wasn’t painful, but I could feel Ricdorian was holding back something.
“Now you…”
Ricdorian, who was speaking this way, suddenly smiled a little. It was closer to a slightly bitter smile than a bright smile.
“I won’t force you to answer.”
He pinpointed what I didn’t answer.
“Even if you act like that, you’re different from that guy.”
Then he lowered his head and pressed his lips to my fingertips. This behavior is definitely like Chaser.
“I’ll wait.”
A face that smiles neatly, pitifully and easily with eyes down.
The moment he kidnapped me, I erased the overlapping feelings with Chaser for a brief moment, and something else was left behind.
You are different.
***
A few days later.
As Ricdorian said, many have reached Hernim’s mansion.
Actually, I didn’t see many people in person, but I saw a lot of carriages.
“Wow, another one is coming.”
Leaning on the railing like now, looking down.
Grand Duchy Hernim.
As the name suggests, the name of the Grand Duchy, the residence was large enough to be called a castle.
In Chaser’s case, the force is no less than that of Hernim, but he prefers a mansion he can control, whereas Ricdorian is living in a castle full of tradition.
‘Looking at this, I mean, he’s pretty straight forward.’
Hernim, the Red Rose symbolizes justice, morality, and pa.s.sion.
It was a family imprinted on the people as the most righteous guardian of the imperial family.
A family that all the people of the Empire were proud of.
No one could have guessed that the head of that respected family abuses his son in prison.
“Because we don’t really know people.”
Where I am now is not my room.
To explain where I am, it goes back a few days.
Was it the day before yesterday? Ricdorian came in with Jaire and another person.
A woman in her 40s wearing a suit and smiling hard is said to be the attendant here.
Ricdorian said that I could trust this person, including Jaire.
I remembered. She was one of the few people who was sweet and kind to the young Ricdorian
It was natural to be suspicious of those around me, even if they weren’t like Ricdorian or Chaser.
Although the two are a little more special.
Hanging garden. The structure of the castle here is a bit unusual. A small garden was created around the 4th floor. If you look down, you can see the city landscape and the front of the castle. It was a nice garden.
When I was here, I felt like I was floating in the air.
Flying in the sky is a thought that most people should try at least once, but being here gave me the feeling that that dreamlike wish would come true a little bit.
“Anywhere.”
I laughed bitterly.
“It’s like the prison.”
Contradictory, but it was.
In Kambrakam, there was nowhere I couldn’t go.
‘…. Thanks to Lenag’s backing.’
Currently, Ricdorian has been absent for a while. It’s because the guests are coming in succession. Even if the guest was a va.s.sal, it seemed that as the head of the house, he could not help showing his face.
Considering that, he stayed here a while ago and left. Even for a moment, his personality changed, leaving dark lips mark on my neck.
‘I couldn’t get used to that look.’
When I think of the languid beast-like figure, I get nervous for nothing. It was a reflex feeling.
‘I think I need a little more time.’
I shook my head.
Pudding is chasing b.u.t.terflies in the distance, or sniffing the scent of flowers, and rubbing its body on the gra.s.s.
It’s a cat, for sure.
I just took my eyes off the 3-year-old guardian deity and looked towards the sky.
‘Is Lenag okay?’
I remembered Ricdorian’s words.
I felt a bit sorry that the man was looking for me.
‘I always seems to cause concern.’
The blue sky had nothing to do with Lenag’s color, but reminded me of his coolness.
A man who gives a completely different impression.
“Hmm. How could there be no way to contact only Lenag?”
Chaser’s invisible Black Rose tattoo on one hand, and a bracelet Jaire gave to the other arm.
The method seemed elusive.
I want to deliver news.
As I was thinking about it, Pudding sneaked up to me, probably because it was done playing.
-Human, won’t you go down, Nyang?
“Why?”
-You liked the garden, didn’t you?
I gazed intently at the hanging garden.
This is a garden too, right?
Instead of answering like that, I glanced down at the crowd of people.
“I don’t like it when there are many people.”
I shook my hand indifferently.
“When I see a lot of people, I remember someone suddenly drawing a sword and running from among the maids.”
Pudding blinked.
– Were you afraid of that, Nyan?
“No. It’s not like that.”
I shook my head.
“…were you afraid that all the maids with you would almost die after that?”
Fortunately, the maids didn’t die just because they were among the a.s.sa.s.sins who had hid themselves.
But it was never known where the missing girls had been sent.
Chaser was such a man.
For me, if he had a purpose, he did anything without hesitation.
That’s all I’ve seen in 4 years.
Pudding, with whom I had some connection, didn’t say anything.
Instead, it rubbed its flat forehead against my leg.
I’m fine. When I smiled softly and bent over to pick up Pudding.
Paah.
-Human?
What. Cloudy black smoke emanated from my fingertips. No. It’s not smoke, it’s light.
The moment I saw the black light, my face hardened.
Black light from my body. Where it came from was my wrist.
The Black Rose tattoo is drawn like blood. The protruding black rose was as captivating as it was in full bloom.
Soon the light emanating from the Black Rose tattoo took on a winged pattern. It gave the feeling of Aquala’s wings.
And the light clumps together and pop! A dazzling light shone.
I stumbled while trying to avoid the light.
My eyesight is trembling.
‘Ugh. I’ll fall.’
I closed my eyes.
The wind blew gently. It was a warm breeze, but there was no time to enjoy it.
Even though I fell, it didn’t hurt. Someone grabbed my waist and held me so I wouldn’t fall.
When I opened my eyes, a familiar face was in front of me. No words came out.
A beautiful and enchanting face, as if carefully crafted by a craftsman, and curved eyes as if tempting.
When our eyes met, the mysterious eyes curved conspicuously.
It was red eyes.
“h.e.l.lo, my Iana.”
Chaser grinned.
“How are you?”