Chapter 182: Let"s be truthful to each other
When this question fell from Shishio"s mouth, various emotions appeared on Saki"s face instantly. There was a surprise, nervousness, anxiety, panic, and various more emotions appeared on her face, but all of that disappeared into a daze when she felt Shishio grasping her hand.
"Saki, I"m not blaming you, nor have I thought what you were doing was wrong." Shishio held Saki"s hands gently and said, "I confessed to you yesterday, and I have also told you that you wouldn"t be my only one. What I have done is selfish, so I"m perfectly alright if you"re also selfish toward me." He caressed Saki"s head gently and looked at this girl who looked at him and seemed to be on the verge of crying. He was selfish for trying to date several girls at the same time, so he didn"t blame Saki for being selfish, trying to take down Nana, considering if he was in her place, he also wanted to have his partner alone for himself, so he didn"t blame her.
"I want to build trust in our relationship, and that is also the reason why I"ve always tried to be truthful towards you. We know each other"s secrets very well, so even though I know that it isn"t comfortable for you, I want you to at least tell me why your relationship with Nana can be so close in just a day? Can you tell me?"
Shishio felt that what was most important in a relationship was communication. So he had told Saki that she wouldn"t be the only one even though he could keep it a secret. He still said it even though there was a risk that he might lose her, but whatever he did, he would always try not to lie. Even though it might be quite a huge hurdle for her, he also hoped that she would do the same.
"...You know?" Saki asked while looking at him.
"What I knew was that you had told Nana about my confession to you, but I didn"t know why you decided to tell her. Even though I don"t mind, I feel weird at how your relationship can be so close so suddenly," Shishio said while caressing her hair gently. He then sighed and said, "You have caused me huge trouble."
"...What did that girl do?" Saki asked curiously, wondering what Nana had done to Shishio before.
Shishio then told Saki what had happened on the infirmary and how Nana screamed and got angry at him, even slapped him twice, etc., trying to exaggerate in his own way.
Saki nodded and said, "I think that you need to be more than being slapped."
"...." Shishio.
"So, how did you calm her down?" Saki asked curiously since after hearing Shishio"s words, she could tell that it was a huge mess, but when she saw Nana, she saw Nana was very calm, which made her wonder what Shishio had done.
"I kissed her," Shishio said truthfully.
"..." Shishio.
"...Can you at least lie to me?" Saki had an uncomfortable expression on her face. Even though she had kissed him before, she did it when he was sleeping, but this time, it was different since Shishio was the one who took the initiative and kissed Nana"s lips.
"Do you want me to lie?" Shishio asked.
"No."
Saki shook her head without hesitation. Her feelings were very contradictory, she didn"t want him to lie, but at the same time, she didn"t want to hear what he was doing with other girls. If only Shishio could fully love her and date her alone, then it would be good, but he couldn"t, and she also accepted it, even though it was hard. She had to admit that he was selfish, but love had always been very complicated. Even though she knew that this guy was bad and a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, she just couldn"t stop loving him.
Saki then looked at Shishio and knew that he had always been truthful toward her. His truth might have hurt her, but it felt better than hearing his white lie, and it might be the reason why she fell for him.
"Well, I"ll tell you why we"re so close." Saki took a deep breath and started to tell Shishio what had happened yesterday.
"...." Shishio was lost for words when he listened to Saki"s explanation since it was so unexpected.
---
Listening to Saki"s explanation, Shishio almost couldn"t believe it and his lips twitched when he thought that Nana and Saki wanted to date him together. If he knew, then he wouldn"t work so hard, but then again, as a man, how could he wait for a girl to confess to him? Lastly, if he let them confess, then there was no way for him to add more harem, right? Jokes aside, no, it wasn"t a joke, since he felt that if he said that it was a joke, he felt that he was trampling their feelings, considering how much sacrifice that they had made to say that they wanted to date him together.
Shishio had to admit that their determination really moved him, especially Nana, who initiated this matter since he had never expected that Nana"s feelings toward him would be so strong.
"...You"re very lucky," Saki said with a complicated expression.
"Yes, I"m very lucky to have you to love me," Shishio said while gently holding Saki"s hand. He knew that he was very lucky since he could have all of this after he was reincarnated, but just... he shook his head inwardly and decided not to think too much.
Saki"s expression started to soften, and this time, she didn"t refute him since it was her true feeling. Instead, she looked at him and asked, "So what are you doing with Nana?"
"I"ll confess to her," Shishio said.
"...I see..." Saki nodded and didn"t feel surprised by his decision. Instead, she looked at him and thought about how Shishio had kissed Nana before. She wanted him to kiss her, but she felt that it was wrong if they just kissed each other so suddenly.
Shishio looked at Saki for a while and asked, "Saki, do you love me?"
"Huh?!" Saki"s face was red, and it gradually spread to her neck. She wanted to refute him as usual, but she changed her mind and nodded when she saw his face. "I love you."
"Then why didn"t you just accept my confession yesterday?" Shishio asked with a hint of tease.
"Because you have said that I"m not going to be the only one! It"s all your fault!" Saki said all of that in one breath.
"...."
Saki took a deep breath and said, "I love you, Shishio, but I want you to treasure my feeling." She felt that if she accepted his confession yesterday, she wouldn"t be much different from his other women in the future. After all, she wanted to be the most special on his mind, even though she couldn"t be the only one.
Shishio couldn"t say sorry in this situation since if he said so, it meant that he regretted his decision, so rather than sorry, he needed to say...
"Thank you, Saki," Shishio said while caressing Saki"s cheek gently.
"No, I should be the one who thanks you since you have given and taught me a lot of things. You have saved me, you have helped me, being with you is fun that it makes my heart flutter every time we meet, and I"m also glad to love you," Saki said while holding Shishio"s hand that was caressing her cheek gently, enjoying his touch.
"...." Shishio was at a loss, and if he could love this girl wholeheartedly, then it would be great, but he knew that he couldn"t give his heart to Saki alone.
"That"s why I accept Nana"s proposal, and I want to be with you." Saki looked at Shishio and asked, "Shishio, how about you? Do you love me?"
"I lo ---" Shishio felt those words stuck in his mouth, and he couldn"t say such a simple line to the lovely girl in front of him since he knew very well what he felt toward her wasn"t love but something else. "I don"t know."
Saki didn"t say anything and kept looking at Shishio.
"The reason why I have confessed to you is that I don"t want to lose you since yesterday, I feel like you"ll go far away if I don"t say something to you, but I"m not blaming you. It is my selfish desire to possess you, I want you only to be mine, and I don"t want for some other guys to have you." Shishio pressed his forehead against her, staring at her eyes deeply, realizing how lucky he was that he could possess her, and asked, "Do you blame me?"
Saki blushed, hearing his deep voice saying such domineering words, but she suppressed her feeling, and at the same time, she was wondering whether she was so easy that his every word made her able to make her heart race, but then she asked, "Do you love someone else?" Her heart was strangely calm when she asked this question since she wanted to know everything about him.
"....." Shishio recalled one person on his mind for a moment before he shook his head. "No, I don"t love anyone for now."
"For now?" Saki looked at his confused expression.
"Since I have confessed to you, I want to learn to love you," Shishio said.
Saki blushed and lowered her head shyly. She hugged him then said, "I"ll make you in love with me so you can only think about me from now on."
Sometimes, Shishio thought that he had always been the one who teased her, but this time, it seemed he received a payback, which caused him to blush, feeling slightly embarra.s.sed by her sincere words. "I will." He hugged her back, put his face near her neck, smelling her warm and comfortable smell. It might be the first time he felt that he wasn"t alone in this world.
Looking at him hugging her like a child, Saki smiled and did the same. She had to admit that he was a very complicated man. He often teased her, he often caused her heart to flutter, but sometimes, he showed his weak side, which made her want to stay beside him all the time. She didn"t know where this relationship would lead, but one thing for sure, she knew that she loved him.
Both of them then continued to sit down on the bench while chatting to each other.
"I"m antic.i.p.ating our date."
"Do you have somewhere you want to go?" Shishio asked.
"Now that you"ve mentioned it, you"re from Kyoto, right? You don"t know many places here," Saki said since she only remembered that Shishio was from Kyoto.
"It"s alright. I can search on the internet," Shishio said.
"Internet?" Saki looked at a strange expression.
"It"s a great thing, and I"ll do business from the internet later that way. I can dress you in a secretary dress," Shishio said with a smile.
"Pervert!" Saki"s face was red, and she thought that this guy was a pervert!
"Eh? You don"t want to?" Shishio asked.
"Well... well... if you really can do business in the future, then I"ll try anyway. I"m your secretary, right?" Saki was a bit shy at that moment.
"Then I"ll start my business as soon as possible!" Shishio said without hesitation.
"...." Saki was happy that Shishio wanted to do business since it was better than having him join the underground fighting arena. Still, she felt that his purpose of doing business was a bit wrong, which gave her a headache. "...I hope this isn"t some strange business." Still, she didn"t take his words seriously since she thought that he was joking, and even if he didn"t do business, she didn"t really mind wearing a secretary uniform.
Little did Saki know that Shishio was 100% serious that his intention to do a business was to see her in a secretary uniform.
"Don"t worry. It is for our future. There"s no way that I"ll do a strange business, right?" Shishio said with a smile.
"Fu - Future?!" Saki blushed.
"I"ll probably have a lot of children in the future. So isn"t it obvious that I need to get rich?" Shishio said.
"...." Saki.
*Ding Dong!*
"Well, the time sure pa.s.ses very quickly." Shishio stood up and extended his hand. "Let"s go back?"
"Um." Saki reached Shishio"s hand, walking back together.
Shishio looked at Saki, whose smile was so lovely at this moment, and somehow it made his back heavy as if there was a boulder on his back, but strangely enough, this heaviness was just right.
"How about we go to the aquarium?" Saki asked.
"Sure."
---
The time quickly pa.s.sed, and it was time for everyone to go home. Nana looked at Shishio, who stood right in front of her with a surprised expression.
"Let"s go back together, Nana," Shishio said.