Chapter 234: Uncaged Bird
The two talked to each other, and Shishio told Shiina about the woman that he loved. Shiina also listened intently while asking him some of the questions that she was curious about. Their trip to Iwafune might be quite long, but when they talked to each other, they felt like the time pa.s.sed quickly, and they had arrived at the Iwafune station.
When they arrived, there were at least 10 people who also walked out from the train. Seemingly just got back from their work.
However, Shishio didn"t feel surprised since he knew that most of them worked in the city during the weekdays and returned home on the weekend.
Shishio stopped his story first and brought Shiina to the staff inside the station to ask whether there was an inn or a lodging since they would need to stay here since there was no way to return to Tokyo late at night.
Shishio asked the staff, and the staff also kindly told him the lodging location on Iwafune. Still, as expected of a small city, since there were only a few lodgings which made him speechless, he didn"t feel that surprised since there was nothing in this place. He then looked at Shiina and asked, "Do you want to walk for a bit or go to the lodging directly, Mashiro?"
"Let"s walk," Shiina said.
"Alright."
Shishio nodded and took off his flannel shirt and draped it over Shiina"s shoulders. "It"s a bit cold. You should wear it." The wind from the spring at night was quite cold, especially in this kind of small-town where there was no huge building, so nothing could stop the wind and the wind hit their bodies directly. Luckily, his body had been strengthened, so he could handle it even though it was quite cold.
Shiina"s cheeks were red, but she nodded. She touched his shirt that draped on her shoulders and could smell his body on it, which somehow made her addicted since his smell was so heavenly. "Shishio, you smell very nice."
"...Thank you?" Shishio was lost for words and said, "Let"s walk."
"Um." Shiina nodded, and walked beside him, then asked, "Shishio, you"re not cold?"
"It might have been cold before, but by holding your hand, I feel warm," Shishio said with a sneaky smile.
"Shishio..." Shiina also smiled and held his hand tighter.
Both of them walked out of the station and walked together aimlessly in this town, watching the scenery of their surroundings.
Shiina held Shishio"s shirt with her free hand, then asked, "Have you been here before?"
"No, this is my first time," Shishio said.
"Then why did you choose this town as a setting for your story?" Shiina asked. She didn"t understand why Shishio had decided to choose this town as a setting for his story.
"Hmm... I wonder, why?" Shishio looked at the starry sky, and it might be his first time to see such a beautiful sky after he became Shishio Oga. He then thought for a moment and said, "If I have to say, then it is probably, there"s nothing here."
Shiina was dumbfounded and asked, "Because there"s nothing here?"
"Because there"s nothing in this place that the love between Takaki and Akari will become more special." Shishio thought that if the story was held in a big city such as Nagoya or Osaka, then the story of "5 Cm Per Second" wouldn"t be that special, and it was because it happened in a small city such as Iwafune that this story could become more special.
Shishio also thought that it might be because of economic reasons too.
The ticket fare for a train to a big city such as Tokyo, Osaka, and Nagoya was cheaper since there were a lot of people who would enter, but it was quite rare for someone to go to a small city like Iwafune, so the price of the ticket face was higher.
For someone like Takaki who couldn"t work and could only rely on pocket money, there was no way for him to be able to visit Akari in Iwafune frequently, especially when he, along with his parents, started to move to Tanegashima, which was located in the southern area of j.a.pan, which made it even more impossible for him to visit Akari.
"Still, even if there"s nothing in this city, I have found out something amazing here," Shishio said.
"What?" Shiina asked curiously.
Shishio pointed his finger at the sky and said, "Stars."
Shiina looked up and stopped her movement, feeling amazed by the breathtaking scenery in the night sky. She had never thought that a night sky could be so beautiful, or maybe because she was with the one she loved, this scenery became more beautiful.
"Even the sky that we see now is the same sky that was on the Sakurasou. It is so beautiful," Shiina said while holding Shishio"s hand tightly.
Shishio smiled while looking at the sky and said, "That"s right, the same thing in a different time frame will show a different side of it. The air and the colors will also slowly change with the seasons. And..."
"And?" Shiina looked at Shishio curiously.
"And the important thing is the feelings that are experienced will lead one to see the world around in a completely different light." Shishio looked at Shiina and said, "There are going to be more beautiful things that you"re going to see from now on, so be prepared, Mashiro."
Shiina looked at Shishio in a daze before she smiled sweetly and nodded. "Yes."
Both of them then walked quietly, watching the stars, the rice paddies, insects, and various things until they arrived at a huge Prunus mume tree. The branches of the tree formed a weeping branch, which even if both of them didn"t say anything, they knew very well that this should be the place where Takaki and Akari kissed for the first time on "5 Cm Per Second".
Shiina held his hand and asked, "Shishio."
"Hmm?"
"Why can you still smile when you"re crying?" Shiina asked, and her voice was hoa.r.s.e. Her eyes were red as she stared at him. Watching him could show a sincere smile when in truth, he was so hurt inside, made her want to cry. When everyone was smiling happily and warmly, he was there, joined them, showing his handsome smile that could make every girl fall for him, when in truth, he wasn"t smiling, his heart was in a mess, his loneliness, pain, agony, sadness, and sorrow, he kept all of them inside, locked it inside. No one could help him and reached him, yet while he was in that state, he could help everyone easily, solving their problems, and made them fall for him in the process.
Shishio didn"t look at Shiina and stared at the tree silently. He could feel the air was slightly damp, which somehow made him wonder whether there would be rain soon. He took a deep breath and said, "I have two answers, one that might make you happy, and the other one might make you feel regret when you hear it. Which one do you want to hear?"
Shiina opened her mouth and then closed her mouth again. "Are both of your answers your real feelings?"
"Both of them are my real feelings." Shishio nodded.
"I want to hear a happy one," Shiina said.
"Because I"m truly happy. I have been worried about a lot of things, and I have been very lonely, so just with you and everyone standing by my side, I"m happy," Shishio said. "The days that we have spent, even though not all of them are beautiful, I"d thought of it as precious, and I want it to continue forever, which is why I want you to stay beside me, Mashiro." He looked at Shiina and asked, "Will you?"
Shiina"s eyes were br.i.m.m.i.n.g in tears, but she showed a beautiful smile and nodded without hesitation. "Yes!"
"Thank you." Shishio smiled warmly.
Shiina smiled and asked, "Then what about the next answer?"
Shishio looked at Shiina and asked, "Do you really want to hear it?"
"Um."
"You might regret it if you hear it, though."
"I..." Shiina looked at Shishio then shook her head. "I want to hear it."
Shishio looked at Shiina for a moment and somehow understood why many people were smoking at this moment. Even though he didn"t really have a hobby to smoke and even hated it, he wanted to smoke it somehow. Unfortunately, he didn"t have it, so he then smiled warmly again while looking at Shiina and said, "I don"t want to brag, but I"m a good actor. No matter how messed up I might be inside. Nothing shows on my face."
"....."
It was the same warm smile that Shishio had shown before, but this smile caused her heart to tighten, and Shiina couldn"t control her tears anymore.
Shishio looked at Shiina"s reaction and wasn"t surprised. He wiped away her tears with his thumb gently and said, "See? I"ve told you that you"ll regret it."
Shiina shook her head, holding her hand tightly, and couldn"t utter any words.
"Do you know the reason why I have written that story?" Shishio asked.
Shiina shook her head while crying silently, holding his hand without letting it away.
"Because I want to say goodbye," Shishio said. "The woman that I have told you, I have fallen for her, but we can"t be together, so I have thought to say goodbye by writing that story, but I guess it isn"t that easy. You know, when I have finished that story, I feel so empty, it feels like... this is pointless. "
"It"s not pointless! You can be with her!" Shiina quickly said.
"It"s impossible." Shishio shook his head.
"It"s not impossible!"
Shishio shook his head and said, "It"s impossible since she isn"t in this world anymore."
"..." Her eyes wide open, and she lowered her head. "...Sorry."
"Don"t be. You don"t know anything." Shishio shook his head and said, "I"ve been trying not to think about the things I wanted but couldn"t have. I figured life must be about what you can"t have. I"d thought about giving up, but I just couldn"t help but imagine even though I knew that this was pointless..." He closed his eyes, and her picture was still vivid in his mind. He hated this feeling, the feeling of being trapped in the past and the feeling of being unable to move on, which was why, even though he didn"t want to do it, he knew that he still needed to do it since he wanted to be freed from this wrenching feeling. "Just... why did I fall in love?"
Shiina couldn"t handle it anymore and hugged him directly, sobbing on his chest.
Shishio didn"t hug her back, staring at Shiina gently, and said, "But I don"t want to be trapped like this forever. Unable to move towards the future and stay in the past where I can"t go back." He took a deep breath and said, "So listen to me, Mashiro." He lifted her chin, staring at her red eyes and tears that kept dripping on her beautiful face, feeling the emotion that was brewing inside his heart, and said, "I have been running away, but I have had enough of that, and I"m ready to face my feelings, so listen carefully what am I going to say to you."
Shiina kept staring at Shishiso without blinking, ignoring the tears in her eyes.
"Thank you," Shishio said softly. "You have stayed with me, helped me, and even spoiled me. Your feelings have moved me, and I"m lucky to have you beside me, and I"m sorry to make you sad, cry, and feel heartbroken."
Holding the hand that wiped her tears, Shiina shook her head, but she still kept looking at him.
Looking at Shiina, Shishio took a deep breath and said, "I love you, Mashiro." He suddenly felt the knot on his heart start to untangle and dissolve as his world dyed in color, feeling her fingers gently wipe his tears.
"I love you too, Shishio," Shiina said as she stared at him. She could see his eyes staring at her lips, and she knew what she wanted to do. She hugged his neck, pulled him closer, and kissed him. Feeling his hands on her waist, hugging her tighter, and thought that might not get enough of kissing him from now on.