Chapter 210: With words other than love
As they arrived at the school, they parted to their own cla.s.ses.
"See you later," Shishio said and was about to go to his cla.s.s, but...
"Shishio."
"Hmm?" Shishio turned and looked at Shiina.
"I"ll see you later too," Shiina said.
Shishio nodded with a smile then left, walking toward his cla.s.s.
When Shishio left, Shiina kept staring at his back.
"Mashiro?" Ritsu looked at Shiina, wondering why she kept standing there.
Shiina then shook her head and said, "See you later, Misaki, Ritsu." She then strode toward her cla.s.s, leaving the two of them behind.
Misaki and Ritsu looked at each other before they said goodbye and parted since their cla.s.s was in different places.
---
As Shishio walked to his cla.s.s, he greeted many people and his cla.s.smates that he met along the way. As he arrived at his cla.s.s, he greeted his cla.s.smates again before he sat down on his seat, looking at Nana"s empty seat, showing that she hadn"t arrived yet. It might be because he arrived quite early that she hadn"t arrived at the cla.s.s yet.
As Shishio sat down in his seat, he heard someone greet him, and he greeted them back.
Greeting might be something simple, but it was a very powerful communication method.
With just a greeting, Shishio could make someone feel closer and feel that they were being cared for. More importantly, it was free, and he had nothing to lose when he greeted someone, and it had more benefits rather than disadvantages. It was also a great way to train the communication ability of someone. So, if some of you are introverts and want to change, you should try to greet many people without caring whether you know about those people or not.
If you don"t want to be ignored, then you shouldn"t ignore people.
Shishio thought that a greeting was like reflexes that work so naturally. When someone greeted other people, they would naturally greet you back. It was also good for some people who had a hard time maintaining a conversation, or because they were too lazy to talk since you only needed few words to greet someone, so he would do it every time.
Still, as he sat on his seat, he realized the cloudy sky on the outside, which somehow reflected his emotion perfectly at this moment.
Shishio realized that talking was very easy, but taking action was very hard.
Shishio had said to Misaki that it was alright to run away. He had told Ritsu that nothing would remain the same, so it was better to accept it. However, he never did any of the advice he had given to both girls, making him feel quite guilty. Both Misaki and Ritsu had seriously thought of their problems and wanted to solve their problems as soon as possible, but he just gave them half-a.s.sed advice and had never put that advice on himself.
Talking was very easy, but to implement it in real life was a difficult thing.
Shishio had promised to say "I love you" to the girls that he had confessed to, but until now, he wasn"t sure whether he could do it or not, which somehow made him feel that he was very spoiled at this moment.
Everyone had been working hard to change themselves, to accept everything, and to move on to a better direction, but here he was still trapped in the past and was still unable to accept the fact that he couldn"t go back to the past.
"I love you."
It was so easy to say those words on his mind, but when he needed to utter those words to Saki, Nana, Miu, or Shiina, those words just couldn"t come out of his mouth.
The four of them had been working hard, and they had accepted every part of him. They even sacrificed themselves and accepted his relationship with another girl, but as the day pa.s.sed, he had become even more desperate to answer them.
On Sunday, Shishio made an appointment to have a date with Saki to hear her answer to his confession. However, she had made up her decision, she accepted him, and she wanted to be with him yesterday. She had made a decision without hesitation, but he was still confused by his heart which was still unable to move forward.
Shishio knew that he had feelings toward Saki since if he didn"t then, he wouldn"t bother to confess to her a few days ago, but even so, he knew that he was still unable to say "I love you" to her. He knew that he needed to do something since he wanted to be truly able to say "I love you" to her. Not only to Saki, the other girls too, but then, he recalled the advice that he had given to Misaki last night.
"Is running away alright?"
Shishio had given this advice to Misaki, but he didn"t really want to do this. However, he thought for a moment, and he was wondering whether he could express his feelings and affection toward Saki, Nana, Miu, and Shiina with words other than love.
"With words other than love, huh?"
Shishio was in deep thought and didn"t realize someone called his name out until his shoulder was shaken.
"Oga-kun!"
Shishio was slightly startled then looked at Nanami, who was looking at him helplessly. He gave a light smile and said, "Sorry, I"m in a deep thought before, Aoyama-san." He didn"t expect that he was so engrossed in his own thought that he would ignore Nanami, who was sitting right in front of him, which somehow made him feel a bit embarra.s.sed since usually, he wouldn"t ignore a beautiful girl.
"You seem to be deep in thought. What"s wrong, Oga-kun?" Nanami asked curiously.
"Did it show on my face?" Shishio asked helplessly.
"Um." Nanami smiled and put her fingers on her face, trying to mimic Shishio"s expression before. "You have this expression on your face."
"..." Shishio.
"If you don"t mind, do you want to talk about it with me?" Nanami asked gently.
Shishio looked at Nanami and felt a bit unsure to say his problem since he didn"t really like to rely on someone.
"I know that it is very hard to tell someone your problem, but you"ve listened to my problem before, so at least, I want to repay you by helping you the same way as you did to me," Nanami said with a gentle smile on her face.
"I have never helped you that much," Shishio said while shaking his head since he knew that all he did was just talk.
"No, you helped me." Nanami shook her head, staring at his eyes, and said with full confidence, "You"ve helped me, Oga-kun." These words came out from her true feelings since she truly felt that he had helped her in her most difficult time, at the same time, when she needed someone to push her back. It might be only some small words or just simple food, but she felt that those little gentlenesses saved her, so she wanted to do the same as what he did toward her.
Nanami wanted to be able to help Shishio since somehow it distressed her when he saw his very lonely expression, staring out the window silently, and somehow, she felt if someone wasn"t on his side at this moment, he might disappear somewhere, which somehow quickly called out his name without hesitation.
"..."
Shishio looked at Nanami and wondered why Sorata had never thought about how wonderful this girl was. "Well, Aoyama, no, Nanami, can I call you that?"
Nanami blushed and nodded shyly. "Then - Then can I call you, Shishio?" She felt her heart skip when she called out his first name. She knew that he might have a girlfriend, but she felt that it was enough for her to be able to talk with him like this.
"Sure." Shishio nodded, then said, "Well, I want to ask you some questions, but you don"t need to think too much."
"What is it?" Nanami asked curiously.
"Do you think there are words that are able to express the affection of someone other than love?" Shishio asked.
"Other than love?" Nanami was dumbfounded since she had never thought Shishio would be troubled by such a question. She then looked at him with a smile and said, "Your problem is quite cute, Shishio-kun."
"..." Shishio"s lips twitched.
Nanami chuckled and thought for a while. "I see... for a lot of people, it might be easy to utter "I love you" to someone, but for some people, it might be hard, huh?" She might have never thought of this problem before since when you loved someone, that word would come out so naturally, but it might not be so easy for other people, but at the same time, it made her realize something.
Nanami then looked at Shishio curiously and asked, "Shishio-kun, you"re dating Sunohara-san, right?"
"Yes." Shishio nodded.
"You have never said that you love her?" Nanami asked.
"....." Shishio.
Nanami was lost for words and asked directly, "Then did she confess to you? Or did you confess to her?"
"I"m the one," Shishio said. Nana might have indirectly confessed to him before, but in conclusion, he was the one who confessed to her.
"Then how did you confess to her with words other than love?" Nanami asked with a frown.
Shishio looked at Nanami and asked, "Do you want me to re-enact my confession?"
"Um." Nanami nodded and said without hesitation, "Let me see it."
Shishio didn"t think too much, staring at Nanami with a gaze full of affection, and said, "I want you, Nana."
"..." Nanami felt that her face was burning and her heart was beating very fast at that moment. "Wait a moment! Give me some time!" She quickly turned and covered her face with her hands, taking a deep breath several times until she calmed herself since she didn"t expect his confession to be so destructive!
"...." Shishio.
Nanami somehow had calmed herself, and somehow she understood why Nana decided to accept Shishio"s confession since she also had an urge to accept it directly before and secretly, she was very happy before. After all, her name was a bit similar to Nana, so when Shishio confessed before, she felt that he confessed to her.
Nanami took a deep breath and asked, "That"s all?"
"Well, I kissed her lips," Shishio said.
"..." Nanami"s face was burning red at this moment, realized that the young man in front of her was a predator. She covered her face with both of her hands and said, "You"re too dangerous, Shishio-kun. I"m afraid that you might steal my lips in the future."
"..." Shishio.
"Alright, let"s revert back to our previous conversation. You want to show your affection with words other than love, right?" Nanami asked.
"Yes." Shishio nodded.
"Well, I"m not sure, but for me, there aren"t any more powerful words than love." Nanami felt that there were no other words that were more powerful than love, and if possible, she wanted someone that she loved to say "I love you" to her.
"But..."
Nanami quickly shook her head since she knew that it was quite impossible for both of them to be together since he had someone standing beside him and that person wasn"t her.
"I see..." Shishio nodded and felt a bit disappointed, but there was nothing that he could do since he knew how powerful the word "love" was.
"Still, why you couldn"t say "I love you"?" Nanami asked while looking at Shishio curiously.
"Well..." Shishio thought for a moment before he said something...
"Shishio!"
Nana suddenly rushed to Shishio and hugged him directly. She really missed him and somehow just wanted to meet him every day.
Shishio was helpless and said, "We"re in the cla.s.s, don"t hug me so suddenly, Nana."
"Hehe..." Nana only laughed and didn"t care much since she knew that he would forgive her.
Looking at Nana and Shishio, who started to flirt with each other, Nanami could only smile bitterly. She wanted to be in Nana"s position. At the same time, she knew that Shishio"s feeling toward Nana was real since she could see how hard he was struggling with his feelings. She knew that the feelings that were born from that struggle were so beautiful and precious, which was why, even though it might sound awful, she just couldn"t be fully happy and hoped that she could be in Nana"s position, or...
"Date him together?"
Nanami"s face reddened, then quickly shook her head since she didn"t expect that she would think such a crazy idea!
Looking at Nanami, who suddenly shook her head very hard, Nana was curious and asked, "What happened?"
"Well, youth is complicated," Shishio said without giving the details.
Nana didn"t think too much, then said, "Let"s eat in the clubroom later."
"Alright." Shishio nodded.
"Oh, right, Mea and Maiko want to talk with you, so be prepared," Nana said with a smile.
"....." Shishio then looked at Mea and Maiko, who stared at him with a gloomy expression and let out a long sigh inwardly since he knew that he needed to ride on the emotional roller coaster once again.