I Reincarnated Into a Vending Machine

It seems like the preparations for the play have been made, so I should fix my posture – I have a body with a back that constantly stretches perfectly straight, so I’m fine, na.
What’s left is to be sure to stand quietly so you don’t hinder the play.

“O-, if it ain’t Hakkon. Watcha doing hereabouts?”

“Let’s make it cold tea today.”

-tte, to think that the two gatekeepers would come along with this kind of timing.
The play began so I don’t want to make noise, but here is where I can show off my Dexterity in dampening the sound of my product-dropping technique.
Dealing with it like I’m cradling a baby, laying it softly in its crib with the tenderness of a mother’s love, I softly place the product in the retrieval opening.
Alright, I pretty much made no noise. I’m a person – vending machine than can do it if he tries.

“What’s today’s play supposed to be?”

“Let’s see, I think…”

-tte, so Karios and Gols also wanted to watch the play here.
The said it in small voices so as not to disturb the surroundings, and it seems like it could also be fun to discuss your impressions. As for me, I welcome that.

“The schedule they handed out earlier said … the t.i.tle seems to be ‘The Field That Calls Happiness.’ Haven’t heard of it.”

What the heck is a field that calls happiness supposed to be? I don’t have even a clue. Even the knowledgeable Hyurumi doesn’t know, so it’s either a little-known niche thing or an original creation.

I bet it’s something like a story about agriculture. A beautiful girl does her best to plow a field and distributes the vegetables she raises to everyone to make them happy. Something like that.

For me, I’d prefer unprecedented, other-worldly action sequences, but if a love-romance starts, I don’t think I’d have it in me to keep watching.
Looks like it’d be better not to set my expectations too high.

“Maa, we’ll figure it out if we watch it. O-, looks like it’s starting.”

That’s true. Before watching it, of course we’ll end up considering all sorts of things. As a spectator, all I need to do is enjoy it.
—

“It was, um, there was a lot of things that were unexpected…”

“To think that would have happened there…”

“Un, it’s certainly a field that calls happiness, ne? A, but rather than calling it, it’s more like it’ll come over…”

Everyone gave their impressions about this and that and various things with dumbfounded expressions.

My blunt opinion is that it’s definitely another world, na. This was the best I’ve seen. To think that the protagonist wasn’t human, but it was like that. As a general comment, I thought it was fun, but it seems like it’s a topic that some people will like and others won’t.
The quality of the play was also high, so if the same troupe goes on to put on a different play, then I’d like to watch it.

“-tte, this ain’t the time ta be dazed. Ramis, you’re going to be in the finals, right?”(Hyurumi)

“Aa, that’s right! Hakkon, let’s go!”

“Welcome.”

I was given a ride and carried lightly by Ramis.

“Ramis, good luck! I’ll be cheering for you” (Hyurumi?)

“Keep it in moderation, na.” (Gols)

“Show us the willpower of a woman!” (Karios?)

Receiving the good will of the three people, Ramis raised her fist. Although, because there’s a vending machine, H

yurumi and the others can’t see it.

Setting me in the corner of the stage, Ramis immediately ran off to the place where the contestants were waiting. I know she’s in a hurry, but it’s not good to be in such a fl.u.s.ter.

“Aa-, s,sorry.”

I heard the sound of a crash and a scream, but let’s not ask about what happened.

The stages preparations were also done, and the presiding announcer, Munami, also stood on the stage. Looks like the finals are about to start. The spectator seats are around sixty percent full, perhaps there were a lot of people satisfied with watching the first half’s battles, but the numbers are a bit reduced.

I’d like to up the excitement and increase the people, but what can I do for a method to gather people? I guess there’s nothing I can do. It’d be nice if there was some useful functions for this, though.

Casting my eyes over the functions that had increased in number when I became Rank 2, I discovered an interesting function. If I use this, it looks like I can attract customers and liven the place up.
I select and operate the from the function list.

“And now, it’s the entrance of the contestants!”

The spectators are all pretty much focused on the announcer, Munami, so it seems they didn’t notice that I had sneakily transformed.

I’ve become smaller than the usual vending machine, and my top has become rounded. Around my borders are two plastic-like fluorescents emitting yellow light. I can tell that, rather than the usual drinks and food, in exchange the insides of my body have hundreds of records installed.

It’s a machine that old cafes and bars used to have installed, where you can put in coins to listen to the music you’d like, but for people in their 20s to 40s, you’d be more familiar with the jukeboxes installed in bowling alleys that would let you listen to the latest music.

By the way, the jukebox is definitely a splendid example of a vending machine, but there are a lot of people who don’t recognize it as such. Of course, as a vending machine maniac, whenever I’d catch sight of one I’d play music.

The contestants have gotten onstage, so I try playing the cla.s.sics, music that are staples of sports events. As expected, entrance music should be like this.
I didn’t dare to choose the newest ones but the old types, since the cla.s.sics are ones that have been perfected.

“E-, where is this music coming from?”

The spectators seem to think it’s part of the production, but Munami and the other officials are bewildered. Even so, without panicking or making a fuss, the announcer, Munami, continued onwards; I admire her guts of steel. 1
If it’s this girl who’s experienced all sorts of things first hand, her ability to adapt should be fine, so let’s put everything I have into being responsible for the acoustics.

“Everyone, are you excited yet?! Whether it ends in tears or laughter, this is it! Contestants, please eat to your hearts’ conte-nt!”

Was it the BGM’s effect? Munami exploded. Not to be outdone, let’s choose a more exciting song with a faster tempo.

“The battle in the finals is determined by the amount you eat within the time limit! Fling open the doors and surpa.s.s your limits … then, let the finals begin!”

I change the music at the same time as her declaration. I play music that’s often used for races and relays at a loud volume. Listening to that music seems to increase your sense of excitement. The contestants’ eating speed has also risen considerably.

I might have stirred them up a bit too much, but there are people with healing magic and divine blessings, so that unlikely possibility (eating to death) probably won’t happen.

It’s only just begun, but as expected the vacuum-girl Shui and the four-man group from the Big Eaters Brigade and flying since the opening. Ramis doesn’t have the intensity from the previous half; looks like she’s taking her time and enjoying the food.

The other members seem to understand that they can’t win against those five, but they undauntedly continue eating. When those five flattened the heap of karaage, what appeared next was a giant crepe that you could easily wrap an infant in.

In the finals, first a heap of karaage is put out, then when you’ve finished eating it, next is a giant crepe waiting. With your stomach bulging, it’s sweets; the so-called final blow. I think it’s a composition to give both a mental and physical blow.

By the way, the crepe’s contents are apples and bananas that I provided packed in as if it wasn’t already enough. I provided the apples with a vending machine that exclusively sells apples, and bananas with a banana exclusive vending machine.

There’s a fruit version of the vegetable vending machine, but I’d like you to understand my pickiness about choosing to become the exclusive vending machines at this instance.

By the way, I found the apple vending machine on the second floor of the s.h.i.+n-Osaka station. They didn’t just have cut apples, but also versions with them in chocolate, honey, and caramel; there were all sorts of variations, so I have fun memories about it.
With the giant crepe in front of them, the men look weary, but the color of the women’s eyes changed.

“Mu-, sweets-! An’, ain’t that lookin’ way delicious-!”

Ramis, your accent’s come out.

“With that, I shall have to partake, shan’t I?”

The eyes and lenses of the gla.s.ses of Akioi in the seat next to her appeared to glint.

I wonder why women have this reaction even with this kind of sweet. It’s mysterious as to whether it’s because it’s a different world or because we’re within a dungeon, but sugar and fruits are precious.

This level that offers such sweets so cheaply must seem like heaven to sweets-loving women and men; recently there’s been a rumor that workers and hunters with their have been coming to Seiryu Lake level with their goal as sweets.

Ramis and Akioi’s eating speeds have visibly quickened. Looks like they’ll be eating up their karaage.

Shui, with her mouth sticky from the cream, is eating it while wholeheartedly smiling, but the men of the Big Eaters Brigade opened the crepe up and ate the fruit inside first. The lone woman of the brigade, Suko, bites into it as is, though.

With this vigor, it looks like it’s become a one-on-one between Shui and Suko. When I checked the hourgla.s.s, 70% of the sand had fallen. The men are pretty much annihilated, and even the Big Eaters Brigade’s men are having a tough fight with the whipped cream and crepe skin.

A-, they’ve eaten all the karaage, Ramis and Akioi have. Right now, they’re blissfully savoring the crepe. With this, they’ve completely forsaken the match and have entered an after-meal tea time.
Shui and Suko appear to be evenly matched. If they keep going like this, they’ll polish off the giant crepe before time’s up.
With everyone involved’s hot stares fixed on it, right before all the sand fell in the hourgla.s.s, a hand still grasping a fork was heroically raised.

“I ate it all!”

Her mouth smeared in cream, with a satisfied smile, it’s Shui. The winner of the eating contest has been determined to be the Fools of Whimsy Brigade’s Shui.
The eating contest safely ended without any major problems, and the top three winners are on the podium being handed their prizes.
First place is Shui. Second place is Suko. Third place is the sole male, Goggai, who slipped in.
I have returned to the usual vending machine to watch, since I have a time limit.

“Now then, the champions prize is the right to be treated freely by Hakkon-san for a day!”

Something terribly came from Munami’s mouth.
Excuse me? E, what was that?
Munami came close and whispered close to me, who was bewildered.

“Previously, you DID say that you’d help with anything concerning the prize, right?”

This would be where I want to play dumb, but … I do have memories of not saying anything, and thus agreeing by silence.

“Too ba-.”

“You can’t pretend you don’t know this late in the game.”

Ku-, she cut off my words. But, well, around a day won’t matter so much. Even though she’s a big eater who might have even been aiming for my products, I already know about the expenses.

There’s nothing I have to think too hard about. I ended up accepting it with those kind of light feelings, but … that I would regret this decision in the distant future is something that the current me didn’t know.
I just wanted to try saying that, but there’s probably not going to be any problems.