I Reincarnated Into a Vending Machine

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Jidou Hanbaiki ni Umarekawatta ore wa Meikyuu o Samayou
Author: Hiru k.u.ma
—

The kids, who had eaten dinner until their stomachs were stretched out, are all stretched out on the floor. This is a cave where you can"t see the sky, so the difference between night and morning seems like it would be hard to tell, but it seems like it"s currently night.
It feels like my sense of night and day would get weird if I lived here.

It would be good to enter energy-saving mode if it"s night, but there"s no difference in the brightness in the surroundings, so I suppose there wouldn"t be any problems if I stay as is.

Light leaks out of a window of the former-mansion turned orphanage, so that means Ramis and the Principle are still awake, huh?

"Hakkon, thanks for the work today-ssu. Everyone was super happy so I"m really grateful-ssu."

Shui sits down cross-legged next to me. Her body swayed left and right, expressing her happiness with her entire body.

If she"s that obvious with her delight, even though I"m a vending machine, it"s more than I deserve.

Her cheeks are slightly flushed because she was swigging the c.o.c.ktails I provided at the dinner table, I suppose. She thought it was just juice, so she drank quite a bit.

"Today"s costs weren"t cheap at all -ssu. I"ll definitely be this back, so I want you to wait a bit -ssu."

"Too bad."

"E-, you won"t wait -ssu?"

No, that"s not it. I want to say it"s okay not to pay it back, but it"s hard to convey the fine nuances.

And if I was going to demand money, then it would be from the food stand owners, so Shui, who received the champion"s prize, has absolutely no reason to pay.

"Too bad. Thank you very much."

"Um, do you mean I don"t have to pay it back -ssu?"

"Welcome."

I got it across somehow. As thanks that she understood me, I gave her a cola as a present.

I dropped her favorite 2-liter cola into my retrieval opening. Today"s evening meal would have been a small for the big-eater girl, after all. She had even given the children her portion, so I think her stomach still has room.

"A, the fizzy stuff! My stomach"s still empty, so this helps -ssu!"

She opened it, put the opening to her mouth, and heartily gulped it down. The carbonation is intense, so if you drink it all at once like that …

"Kuhaa, buuuuuuuurp."

A splendid burp echoed out into the night. As expected, she"s embarra.s.sed so she looked at the ground, face red.

It"s probably better to say something at times like this to gloss over it. Right, I"ve decided.

"Congratulations, you have won another."

Her face went even redder. Looks like my choice was definitely wrong.

"O,oh yeah. Did you know that this Starting Level is a place where people diving into the Dungeon will definitely visit-ssu?"

Heeh, is that so? They were saying it"s the first level, so I was thinking that it was the first level of the dungeon, though.

"Too bad."

"If you can"t first enter this level and reach the transfer circle within, you aren"t able to move to another level -ssu. Maa, ones who can"t travel through the Starting Level don"t have the right to continue on to other levels -ssu."

I see. I had heard that you were free to come and go between the levels with the transfer circle, but here alone is it not free to use, huh?

"But if you reach the inner transfer circle even once, then next time you can take off from any of them anywhere -ssu."

So you don"t have to capture the first level every time you want to go to the surface, huh? So there"s also that consideration, huh? I"m understanding less and less about how the Dungeon works.

"And so the community here is the not few people who have been unable to reach the transfer circle within and remained -ssu. And, there are also people here who made children and can"t move around-ssu. And so, being born without knowing the outside world, the place the children who are in the way and abandoned are gathered is … here-ssu."

The kids at this orphanage are kids who don"t know the outside world? In fact, if they"ve never moved from this level, then they"ve grown up without ever experiencing the sky or weather or fresh air. U-n, this seems like it would have a negative impact on the kids" growth.

"My wish is that everyone in the orphanage would be happy – -tte, it"s a problem that my lips are strangely loose today-ssu. I want you to forget what I said just now-ssu. I"m going to bed already-ssu! Good night!"

Waving both arms wildly while walking with an unsteady gait, so disappeared through the door. Thanks to the effects of the alcohol, I heard all sorts of things.

Various people have various lifestyles, and there are a wide varieties of troubles. It"s something that should be obvious, but recently I haven"t been thinking of anything but doing business as a vending machine and my points.

No, as a vending machine, I think that"s the correct position to take, but these exceptions are difficult. If I make it all cheap and do free service work, then it"ll be the owners of the food stalls that will be in trouble, and I won"t earn points.
I must be aware of the difference between business and volunteer work.

"Oi, so it"s here…"

"Yah, Bro. I heard there"s a rare magic tool here."

The voices of men, whose tones sound exactly like ruffians, are coming from a distance. They will definitely show up here, according to the explanation that you can instantly understand their motives from.

Although it"s a place with few people, I can"t even say that this place has good public security even as a joke, so they seem to be indulging themselves.

It"s been a while; are these customers aiming for me? Recently, I haven"t come into contact with fellows like these, so I"m very curious about what actions they"ll take. Before they see their opponent, lets turn off the lights and change into colors that melt into the darkness.

"It really makes as much free food as you want come out?"

"Yah, one of our grunts definitely said he saw it himself."

I"m concentrating on the shadowy forms of the people coming closer, but my opponents are four well-built men. They even prepared a wheelbarrow to put me on, huh?

My existence is rather well-known on the Seiryu Lake Level, but on this level I"m unknown, after all. So being aimed at is also obvious, huh?

There"s a possibility that those men would be able to carry me off, but, let"s see, what shall I do? If I make a loud sound and wake up Ramis and the others, then those guys will probably run away. But there"s a possibility that the girls will be put in danger.

Should I see what I can do by myself here? Let"s choose which ones of the Functions I"ve already taken can be used.

Can I use this one and this one, and this one? I also have and my St.u.r.diness is also raised up. If there isn"t anything beyond the ordinary, I think I won"t be kidnapped like before.

First I become the and scatter a large amount of dry ice at my feet. Next I become the and scatter water in my surroundings. When the water met the dry ice, a thin, white fog rose from the ground.
And from there I became the , and music, start.

"Oi, today it"s really cold around our feet."

"There"s, some sort of sound…"

"Weird music is…"

When I plated music that"s similar to horror films", the men looked around the area restlessly. This community"s gloominess is fitting, so the atmosphere is perfect.

What should I do next? Lighting a flame with kerosene; as expected, that would be too much. Since it would be best if they just left, what would be best?

The opponents came as kidnappe - thieves, so they don"t have lights. Even if they have eyes that are effective in the dark, there aren"t many lights so they can"t see me. If that"s the case, then I feel like I"ll manage if I scare them.

This time I"ve become the , and with the door open, I fill the washer with water and spin it.

"Boss, can you hear water?"

"There"s no river or pond "round here; you"re hearing things."

For you guys, I"ll provide the washer"s water shooting from the .

"Buwa, what the, what-!?"

"W,water-? W,where"s this water from-"

"Ooooooo it"s. .h.i.tting"

They"re so fl.u.s.tered it"s funny. A, this has become a little fun. Next let"s do this.

I become the , change into the appearance of a gla.s.s locker, and open all the doors, and barrage them with eggs from the all at once.

The eggs are packed with ten in a net together and I fired off over twenty of them simultaneously, so with that number, the men were caught up in it splendidly.

It"s a waste of food that you should be angry at, but it"s to settle this peacefully, so I hope you can look the other way.

"Ow-! What is this, it"s sticky and slimy."

"B,boss, let"s go back! Someone"s targeting us!"

"Dammit, screw this! Guys, we"re going back!"

Looks like they"re withdrawing, so let"s send them off with "Light of the Fireflies."1

With how they looked, they won"t be discouraged and they"ll come again. When they realize I"m not there, there"s also the possibility that they"ll break into the orphanage, huh? Let"s put make a counter-plan tomorrow morning, with Ramis here.

—

The lights within the town are increased, so I think that the Starting Level is a little brighter. So this is this place"s mornings.

The dry ice and scattered eggs and eggsh.e.l.ls have already been erased. With this, the orphanage"s kids won"t know what happened yesterday.

"Good morning, Hakkon."

"Good morning-ssu"

The two who are energetic right from the morning appear. These two are quite similar to each other is places, so in a single day they"ve hit it off and become quite close.

Ramis doesn"t have many acquaintances among the Hunters, so I"m very relieved that she"s made a friend of the same gender and nearly the same age. I"m somewhat uneasy about the Fools of Whimsy Brigade, but Shui herself is a nice woman, so I"m not particularly wary of her.

"The two of you are up early, ne. Good morning everyone."

So the person who showed her face behind them is the Princ.i.p.al. She greeted us with her usual gentle expression.

"Thank you very much."

I"ve been using "Welcome" as a subst.i.tute for good morning, but this way feels like a more proper greeting, so I tried changing it up.

-tto, that"s right. The kids are around right now, so it"s perfect timing. I need to tell them what happened last night.

"Are, there"s a board where the products go. Is this the thing we saw the map from?"

You"re correct, Ramis. It"s one of the Functions I have, the . Using this, if I play the recording of yesterday"s incident, it would arouse caution, I a.s.sume.

When I played the video from when the cheap thugs showed up to when they retreated, everyone watched it with great interest.

"So something like this happened last night-ssu? These guys, they"ve set up a hideout nearby; they"re former Hunters-ssu."

"It seems so. They stopped being Hunters and ran towards committing crimes, what naughty children. And to even stretch their hands towards the orphanage"s guests…"

It"s someone the two of them know? I was thinking that we could hand this video in as proof to the guards and Hunters a.s.sociation and catch the culprits, but those guys only made an attempt, you know. If it wasn"t for me, then this would only be hearsay.
Apprehending them might be a little impossible.

"Shui, I"m going out for a little while, so can I leave the children to you?"

"That"s fine, but … Princ.i.p.al, you can"t mean to"

Are-?
Shui"s face became tense and a sweatdrop went down her cheek. The Princ.i.p.al went into the orphanage and came back immediately, but in her hand was a large bow. On her back was a quiver of arrows.

"Well then, I"ll be back soon."

So saying, she lowered her head to us and left. -tte, there wasn"t a chance to stop how smoothly things were going, but did the Princ.i.p.al just go to silence them by force?

E, that"s way too dangerous. A woman who looks to be sixty can"t be going by herself. I have to stop this now.

", it"s been a while since I"ve seen the Princ.i.p.al so seriously angry-ssu. A, you two seem to be worried, but it"s okay-ssu. The Princ.i.p.al is my master for the bow, and originally an excellent Hunter. In the past she had the ability to lay waste to the Maze together with the Bear President, and now Princ.i.p.al is still superior-ssu. If she wasn"t, it would be impossible to run an orphanage in a place with such bad public order-ssu. And she"s also connected with people in places of power like the Bear President-ssu."

I,is that so? I wouldn"t have guessed it from those thin arms and her atmosphere, but when I see that Shui isn"t at all fl.u.s.tered, it seems like she"s skilled to where being worried is stupid. Is this where I believe in her and wait?

—

An hour has pa.s.sed since then, and the Princ.i.p.al returned when the kids had finished eating breakfast. She doesn"t look any different from when she set off – – no, if I look closely there are a few drops of blood on the cuffs of clothes, and there are a number of arrows missing from her quiver.

"Hakkon-san. Those people have complied to my persuasion, so those people will not meddle with you again."

"Thank you very much."

Rather than my reason, it was my instinct that made me give my immediate thanks. Even now she has a smile overflowing with kindness, but I think it can"t be helped that I remember that completely different, intimidating smile from before.

And so the rabbits have claws, and the troubles with those guys have been solved, besides. In thanks, I"ll leave a weeks worth of food and beverages.

I immediately made the judgment that this person was the type you don"t want as an enemy. I wonder if Shui will also become like the Princ.i.p.al one day.

"N, I feel like someone"s watching me -ssu."

Did she realize I was looking at her? Looking at Shui, who was pulling back like she feels uncomfortable, I let out a, "Too bad."

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