267 A Turning Point(2)
Sang Qianqian silently nodded her head and accompanied Caroline back into the cemetery.
Caroline placed a bunch of white daisies in front of Professor Fu’er’s grave with a strange and complicated expression on her face.
“You once asked me if I hated him, and I did.”
Caroline’s voice was like a sob in the cold wind, “But I also loved him.”
She gritted her teeth in hatred and couldn’t let go for more than ten years, but she once loved him, and that emotion was engraved in her heart.
She had once made up her mind not to get married for the rest of her life and dedicated her life to theology.
However, the year before graduation, she met Professor Fu’er, who came to the school to give a lecture.
Even though they were 20 years apart, she seemed to have met her destiny and was deeply in love.
For Fu’er, she gave up her dream and life. She even broke up with her family, followed Professor Fu’er to the city where he lived, and married him.
Their beginning days were very sweet, and not long after they got married, they had a lovely daughter.
Professor Fu’er was very busy. He was obsessed with work and didn’t have much time to take care of his family.
However, Caroline didn’t mind at all. For the sake of her daughter and this family, she was willing to give her all without any reservations.
—
“If there were no accidents, we would have lived happily ever after.”
Caroline said bitterly, “But when my daughter was three years old, he actually had s.e.x with a female student.”
Sang Qianqian did not think that her baseless guess would turn out to be a melodramatic reality.
Professor Fu’er really had an affair.
Her emotions were a little complicated. “This is why you hate him? Was that when you guys got divorced?”
“If we had divorced then, I wouldn’t have ended up like this, and my daughter wouldn’t have died.”
Caroline recalled the past, and it was hard to tell whether there was pain or regret in her eyes. “I hate Fu’er because I felt that he ruined my life. But perhaps I shouldn’t have blamed Fu’er completely. I was too foolish back then.”
She wasn’t willing to get a divorce like this, and she even wanted to take revenge on Fu’er.
She had a big fight with him, ran to a bar alone, got drunk, had s.e.x with a man she didn’t know, and didn’t return all night.
It was just a one-time indulgence, but it seemed to have cursed her and thrown her into an abyss of eternal d.a.m.nation.
That night, Professor Fu’er’s was very regretful after Caroline exposed his affair.
He locked himself in the laboratory and tried to force himself to focus on work, but he found that he was not in a good mood and had no interest in his research. He simply asked his friends out for a drink and asked them for ways to solve his family crisis.
However, Professor Fu’er made a fatal mistake. He left home and forgot to close the door of the underground laboratory.
Their three-year-old daughter woke up in the middle of the night thirsty. She could not find her mother, so she went downstairs by herself.
Seeing that the underground laboratory was lit and the door was open, the child walked in.
She didn’t see her father, but she saw a gla.s.s cup on the experiment table. There was some transparent liquid in the gla.s.s.
The child drank it, a.s.suming it was water.
However, it wasn’t water inside, but poison. One could imagine the consequences.
By the time Professor Fu’er and Caroline rushed back, the child had already died.
Professor Fu’er took a big blow, and Caroline was also heartbroken.
“Fu’er didn’t know what I did that night. He only thought that I ran away from home because I was sad. But I couldn’t forgive myself.”
Caroline had thought that by divorcing Fu’er, getting married again, and having another child, she would be able to forget about her daughter and start a new life.
However, her second marriage had started in a hurry. Due to this, she had met the wrong person and her child, who was only a few months old, had died.
She suffered a more serious psychological trauma, and self-blame and guilt had caused her to develop a deep self-loathing.
After that, she began to completely give up on herself and became an alcoholic.
As a result, she gradually began to hallucinate and had mental problems. She stayed in a mental hospital for eight years.
Last year, Professor Fu’er had cured her mental illness, but her mental illness still existed.
Even though her daughter had been dead for more than ten years, Caroline was still unable to walk out of that nightmare. She always felt that she wasn’t worthy of being a mother, that she wasn’t worthy of living in this world.
Therefore, she continued to indulge in her life, even more than before.
She couldn’t forgive Fu’er, and she couldn’t forgive herself.
She had always thought that Fu’er’s kindness to her later was only because of guilt. She didn’t want to accept Professor Fu’er’s apology.
However, when she saw Professor Fu’er’s diary, she realized that she had been wrong all along.
Those diaries recorded Professor Fu’er’s emotional journey after his divorce, as well as his deep regret and love for his wife and children.
Death ended everything, but love healed everything.
Caroline cried as she finished reading the diary.
Fu’er’s death and those diaries made her hatred and unwillingness from the past disappear.
Because of his mistakes, Professor Fu’er gave up his lifelong pursuit of scientific research and spent the rest of his life in repentance.
As for her, she had given up on herself and tortured herself for more than ten years. Now, it was time to end everything.
“I want to thank you, Miss Sang.”
Caroline looked at Sang Qianqian with a deep sense of grat.i.tude in her eyes. “Thank you for your kindness, and thank you for your words, which allowed me to find the heart I’ve lost. I know what kind of life I want to live in the future.”
Sang Qianqian was a little pleased. “I wish you well, Caroline.”
This was probably the only news that could make her happy before she returned to the country.
“In return, Miss Sang, I would like to tell you a secret.”
Caroline revealed a smile. “I heard from Mr. Xie that you are looking for the potions in Fu’er’s lab.”
Sang Qianqian’s eyes widened. “You know where it is?”
Caroline nodded her head. “The weather is too cold. It might be a little troublesome to look around now, but I’m sure I’ll be able to find them.”