If Only etc.

Chapter 22

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Well, not to put too fine a point upon it, it"s for my wife.

ROBERT ADDISON.

I warned you not to marry. Now you see how right I was--she wants two thick "uns.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

 

I know it"s rough on you.

ROBERT ADDISON.

It is. I"m a sociable chap by nature, and I"m rapidly being left without a friend to bless myself with.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I don"t grasp!

ROBERT ADDISON.

They all borrow my money, and then they say they"re out the next time I call.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I have got a big thing on, only temporarily I"m in a hole.

ROBERT ADDISON.

I never knew a fellow in a hole who hadn"t a big thing on. What is it?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

The hole?

ROBERT ADDISON.

No, the big thing--the stable tip?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

It"s nothing to do with the turf. Look here, Schercl--you know Schercl?

ROBERT ADDISON.

I know him.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

He gave me a commission for a picture six weeks ago; he"s going to pay three hundred for it. He advanced a century when I accepted the offer.

ROBERT ADDISON.

They are wonderful terms, Tempenny, for _you_.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Seems rather funny, doesn"t it,--but it"s a fact. "n.o.body more astonished than the striker," I confess.

ROBERT ADDIS ON.

Well, where"s the picture?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

(_Turning round the big blank canvas_). There!

ROBERT ADDISON (_with a whistle_).

Oh my sainted mother! How does Schercl like it?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

It"s good work, isn"t it? Fine colour and tone! How do the harmonies strike you--correct?

ROBERT ADDISON.

Unbosom, what does it mean?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Dear boy, it means it was a royal order, and that I"ve been on the royal loaf on the strength of it; and, now that I repent me, I haven"t got a model.

ROBERT ADDISON.

No model?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

The subject is to be Susannah--Susannah before the Elders. You know the kind of thing--(_whispers_).

ROBERT ADDISON.

Yes, of course, and I suppose--? (_whispers_).

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Yes, and--(_touches his arms and chest, signifying a fine woman_--_whispers_).

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