I'm Guilty, My Beauty

She looked at the image and recalled their conversation back in the secluded poolside dinner. Clarence didn"t touch the wedding subject but she knew he hoped for her to speak her doubts and clear them.

"I"m letting him down." Her eyes got misty.

She wished her life with Clarence too, but her restaurant was her priority, she thought.

Was she worrying for nothing? What"s her real desire?

Beauty recalled the kiss in the elevator. She wrapped herself in her arms thinking of his intense kiss.

At that time she felt her body temperature rose; her mind went foggy and her body moved to succ.u.mb to uncommon desires. She believed he felt the same way. Somehow, he stopped long before the door opened.

Was he having difficulties keeping himself at bay when they kissed? Was she denying him what"s due to him?

She a.s.sumed her main desire was to see her restaurant flourish, to show her father her decision was right. The culinary school could wait.

Nonetheless, the more she a.n.a.lyzed, a realization hit her. It"s Clarence.

He was her support all those times she was in need of help in the guise of Your_Romeo. In fact, their love story started with him and his initiatives brought them together for real. The restaurant wouldn"t have progressed without his help and guidance. He meant a world to her. She would be miserable if things ended with them. She loved him and more than ever.

She was not within his sight but that difficult incident was their magnet sticking them to each other.

Recalling all these made her realize how much she relied on him; on how much her world built around him. The fact, he was her world now.

Beauty couldn"t believe this happened to her. She thought she was one of the independent ladies of the modern world but Clarence changed this.

She looked at his image on her blouse and kissed it.

"Is this what it meant to be in love with you? Is it that difficult to be apart from you?"

"Oh, Clarence, what have you done to me?" She laid her head on her pillow thinking of him.

"I must decide on the wedding date soon."

. . . . .

At this moment, the man her heart yearned, Clarence, was having a training session with Ronald.

That ride from the airport made Ronald"s life miserable. He could answer her father that he knew nothing about self-defense aside from running.

Reality dawned on Arnold"s face. His brows knitted. The young man his daughter pledged to marry was not his dream man for her.

As a former policeman, he wished her daughter married a man capable to protect her in his absence, aside from being a good provider. Now, this man sitting in front of him could hardly truss a chicken. His presence alone made Ronald perspire in nervousness. He didn"t care about anything else, what he wanted was this man"s competence.

Arnold felt old and defeated with an unseen enemy. He couldn"t insist his way for her Jenna. As a father, he couldn"t impose as well.

Suddenly, Ronald made a promise to learn from Clarence gave Arnold hope.

. . . . .

Back to the present, Clarence, in his Karate Kimono, paced back and forth in his house gym. He had a spar with Richard but Ronald came with his Uncle. The latter asked him to help the former.

Now, Clarence couldn"t say no to his Uncle but unsure how to proceed. The Ronald he knew was physically weak and hated working out. His forehead furrowed. He clenched his fist wis.h.i.+ng to hit this man kneeling now, begging after his Uncle and Richard left the gym.

"Ask Paul or Richard, or maybe Jenna. I think even Uncle Arnold would be willing to teach you. Why me? You know I"m busy with Beauty"s restaurant and our plans."

"How can I let Jenna teach me? That"s an injury to my manliness."

Clarence couldn"t believe what this man said. "What the heck is that?" A booming sound added rigidity to the atmosphere as he kicked a sandbag hanging near him. Ronald cringed.

"Why didn"t you prepare when you believe this would happen?" He pointed at Ronald.

"I can"t ask Mr. Paul or Richard. I...I...I"m not sure if they"ll be kind to me. I won"t dare to ask Jenna"s father, not in my life." Ronald continued to kowtow.

"What? And you expect me to be kind to you?" Clarence felt his blood pressure rising. "Hey! Get up and I"ll show you what is being kind to you."

"Please, have mercy." Ronald prostrated.

"Why did you promise him to learn from me? I don"t think he would stop your engagement just because of his unrealistic dream for his daughter."

"I can"t bear to see him feeling disappointed with me. I was so ashamed that I blurted out without thinking."

"HAA! I"m really angry now." Clarence hollered at the top of his lungs. "I will kick you if you won"t get up."

"You"re going to teach me now? Really?" Ronald"s whole face lit up as he got up and surveyed his "trainer"s" face.

The "trainer" walked toward a shelf behind his "student". "I"ll teach you for our friends.h.i.+p sake and for Jenna but that"s all. Don"t expect me to be so kind to you. Did you get that? I"m strict. You must obey me."

Clarence pulled his fresh clean Kimono and threw it to his "student" who caught it.

That"s how their training started.

Jenna"s curiosity piqued, yet, Ronald told her it"s off limits. His pride won"t allow her. Rather, shamed overwhelmed him for he saw how weak he was.

. . . . .

Clarence patience was worst every training session. He longed for Beauty"s time and for the wedding topic to continue. Training with Ronald had eaten his precious time. Yet, he had to keep his word. His heart was a mess.

Clarence called her one night after the arduous Karate lesson.

"Hi" He leaned on the bedboard, his phone on his ear, and in his pajamas with Beauty"s image. It was a matching pair for couples.

"Hi, you seem tired today." Beauty in her same pajamas sat in front of the table balancing the account sheet.

"Don"t mention it, Ronald is the worst student. I don"t know what to do."

"He hardly gives time to exercise. What would you expect?"

"I miss you."

She shut her eyes. Her guilt increased. She understood the miss wasn"t the physical presence. It was the desire for the wedding issue to pursue.

Beauty had been thinking about the wedding. She became fully aware that her heart wished to be with Clarence forever.

"I miss you too."

"Ah." He scratched his head, at a loss how to proceed with the important matter, the wedding. Claire asked every day but a month had pa.s.sed with no progress.

"What?" She wished for him to continue the conversation while she tried to search for words to open her decision.

"Beauty, I think you know what I mean." He couldn"t wait longer.

Silent prevailed for a minute. Realizing her heart, made her resolute. She sighed. "Do you really want the wedding on December?"

His eyes lit up. "Yes, by all means, yes, but I want you to decide if you wish another month, like January next year."

"I...I want to choose what you want. Let"s have it in December then. Maybe the 7th would be best?"

"YES, YES, of course." His excitement almost ripped the calendar from his table. "That would be Wednesday. Perfect."

"Okay, then that settles. Can we talk more tomorrow? I still need to finish the balance sheet."

Their smiles were ear to ear.

"Okay. This calls for a celebration. I"ll cook your favorite dish tomorrow, Pork Ribs."

Beauty"s heart was light as she continued her work.