“Delicious!”
Whenever Xiao Qin meets food she likes, she would never say phrases like, ‘It looks and smells great’, or ‘it’s very fragrant in the mouth’, or ‘it’s fatty but not greasy’. She would only say one word, ‘delicious’!
She’s clearly an expert in fallacious reasoning, but now she’s treating words as if they were gold.
“It’s not that good?” I dampened her mood, “Auntie Ren must have brought you to many restaurants and hotels before, those high-cla.s.s chefs must have better skills than the restaurant downstairs.”
“No way~~~” Xiao Qin shoveled a spoonful of shrimp fried rice into her mouth and said, “I rarely go out with my mom because I hate her friends always asking me questions… Also, if I could eat together with Ye Lin cla.s.smate even… rocks will be delicious!”
Hey, hey, what was that suspicious pause? What’s with your guilty expression? Were you about to say ‘s.h.i.t’ instead of rocks? Did the Little Tyrant hidden in the depths of your soul make you want to say uncivilized words? Do you think you could pretend to be a virtuous woman in front of me?
Stop dreaming! Among the millions of things on earth, you’re the furthest away from being a virtuous lady! Even Cinderella’s step-mother is closer than you! At least they have never hit my head with a sugar cane.
Xiao Qin slurped the cola through her straw while staring at me as if I would disappear if she took her eyes off of me.
“Such delicious food, what a pity Uncle Ye isn’t home!”
Xiao Qin pretended to sigh with lament, then her gaze involuntarily moved towards the stainless steel thermos on top of the TV.
Why are you pretending! Isn’t it perfect that my dad isn’t home! Also, you probably already heard everything through the listening device! (It’s all because I forgot to put the thermos back into the cabinet after playing the news)
“(*^__^*) Hehe… I’ll bring the thermos home when I leave. That way, I can bring delicious food over again!”
There it is! If Xiao Qin voluntarily proposed to take the thermos home, that means the hidden listening device is out of batteries! So she wants to take it home to charge, then send it back? Keep dreaming!
I snorted: “I never expected you to be so proficient in wireless electronics even though your physics grade sucks!”
Xiao Qin was stunned and blinked her innocent-looking eyes, “How would I understand wireless electronics?”
I pointed to the thermos on top of the TV, “You say you don’t understand wireless electronics, then how did you install a long-distance listening device into the thermos?”
I have always loved taking apart clocks as a child and I tried numerous times, without breaking the thermos, to find the listening device to no avail. This hidden listening device can be considered a work of art!
Maybe Xiao Qin was distracted, but she acted like a bashful child who was praised. She covered one cheek with one hand and said with modesty:
“I don’t know anything~~ It was actually the shoe repair uncle from downstairs who helped me! He used to be an intelligence agent for the country!”
Xiao Qin realized it was bad during the middle of the sentence and covered her mouth with regret, but it was too late.
The shoe repair uncle? Are you talking about when we went to your home last time and I asked him to fix the cla.s.s leader’s shoes? I remember he was a ball fan who was watching the national team… I can’t tell he was an intelligence agent at all! Even if he wanted to stay hidden, wouldn’t he usually go fix watches? Why is he fixing shoes? Don’t tell me he specializes in installing listening devices in shoes?
I laughed evilly and knocked on the table. Xiao Qin put down her dining utensils in shame and lowered her head. She kept silent but would occasionally sneak glances at my face.
“You’re incredible!” I used a plastic spoon to poke the decorations around the charcoal chicken while mocking her, “So what did you do to make an ex-intelligence agent help you?”
Xiao Qin hesitated and forcefully shook her head and said apologetically:
“I’m sorry Ye Lin cla.s.smate! I can’t tell you anything about the shoe repair uncle. the country’s security bureau is currently chasing after him! He’s depending on us cause he has nowhere to go…”
“Depend on you? Are you referring to you and Auntie Ren? You guys are sheltering a fugitive?!”
Xiao Qin waved her hands in a hurry, “No, my mom doesn’t know. If she found out I asked them for help, she’ll definitely beat me half to death!”
“Them? You still haven’t explained the uncle’s ident.i.ty, now there’s ‘them’? Does the shoe repair uncle have a group supporting him? A shoemaker labor union?”
“Ah, you’re asking too many questions, I’m getting confused!” Xiao Qin brushed back her bangs, “Anyways, mom doesn’t like those people, so if you get near them, she’ll hate you too!”
You have me completely confused, what are you even talking about! Because I always fought the Little Tyrant alone before, I never expected her to have any influence behind her —— why is her background becoming more and more blurred!
“Please don’t ask about the shoe repair uncle anymore!” Xiao Qin had practically lowered her head to the point where her face was pressed against the table, “I admit I spied on Ye Lin cla.s.smate! I pretty much already know about the issues with your mother, with Ai Mi, and more… plus I also lost brother Optimus Prime, so I committed a lot of crimes! Please punish me! Please punish me as you wish!”
Xiao Qin twitched her nose. Even though she admitted her crime, unexpectedly, she began eating again.
“I… don’t want to die hungry.” She explained.
I don’t care how many secrets Xiao Qin had, but at least she has the right sense of mind to admit her mistakes and not push her responsibility on others.
“Hmph, since that’s the case, you can choose our own punishment!”
I said half-jokingly.
Xiao Qin shifted her eyes and said with hesitation: “In history cla.s.s, we learned about the cauldron punishment, let’s go with that…”
Cauldron? That’s a torturous punishment where you’re boiled alive! I did let you pick your own punishment, but why don’t you pick something lighter? Are you a m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.t?!
“Um, after I finish eating, you can throw me in the cauldron, wash me clean in boiling water, then throw me on the bed…”
Does you family use cauldrons to take baths! Also, I’m sorry, but our family only has a shower, we don’t have a bathtub!
“Um… if there’s no cauldron, then death from a thousand cuts is fine too…”
Why are you only choosing brutal methods of torture! Explain how I would perform death from a thousand cuts?
“Um… after I’m done eating, you can tie me up, then —— strip me naked! Then use your teeth to bite off my meat…”
So after all this time, your goal is still to have me strip you naked! Also, when did people start using their teeth as a tool for death by a thousand cuts? You clearly just want me to kiss you all over your body!
—— Also, you told me to wait until you finish eating, how much do you care about food?!
“If Ye Lin cla.s.smate doesn’t like Chinese punishments, we can switch to foreign ones. I heard there was a torture device called a limb pulling device, first you have to tie up the wrists and ankles of the victim…”
That’s called a rack, you can find it in WoW, and it’s made of wood!
“If it still does not satisfy Ye Lin cla.s.smate, we can only use the most brutal European torture device —— the iron maiden! Please use your sharpest thing to poke me! Oh, I’m so embarra.s.sed!”
Xiao Qin finally covered her face with her hands and peeked at me from between her fingers.