Chapter 879: Teacher’s Day Gifts
Xiao Qin spent her spare time between cla.s.ses to read various articles such as ‘Inside of Cults’ or ‘The Encyclopedia of Tricks’ with her new phone in order to prepare for tomorrow.
Zhuang Ni and Gong CaiCai used their lunch break to draw a Teacher’s Day-themed chalkboard. A lot of students seized the last opportunity to take pictures of the starry sky-themed chalkboard before it was erased.
This time, Zhuang Ni followed the cla.s.s leader’s suggestions for the design and wrote a lot of words, such as “Respecting teachers and respecting morality is a traditional virtue”. Zhuang Ni also drew a gentle and elegant female teacher, maybe it was based on the cla.s.s leader, along with a group of pretty female students. In short, there was no need for any males to appear on the chalkboard.
I was quite surprised Zhuang Ni was able to come to school today. On Sat.u.r.day night, I used berserker mode and punched Zhuang Ni in the abdomen. Even though I had just come back from a basketball game and was at my weakest physical state, that punch could send any of the guys from the Five Tiger Punishment Squad to the hospital for a week.
Zhuang Ni came to school after only one day of rest, and she had no obvious signs of physical discomfort. I had to wonder whether she was really protected by some evil force.
When Xiao Qin and I returned to the cla.s.sroom from the cafeteria, we happened to catch up with Zhuang Ni finishing the last strokes of the chalkboard art. She, who had an extreme hatred of men, glanced at me with a cold look when I pa.s.sed by her.
Hey! I advise you to give up the idea of trying to murder me! I’m now more vigilant towards you, and I have the ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ bodyguards sent by Ai ShuQiao to protect me. Even if you break through these obstacles and successfully injure me, it would actually be even worse! When the time comes, you will have to face Ai ShuQiao’s brutal revenge! You don’t want to become human amber, do you? You don’t want to have your limbs chopped off, do you? If you don’t want that to happen to you, then stay away from me!
The cla.s.s leader closed the cla.s.sroom door during a self-study session in the afternoon and stood on the podium to brainstorm with everyone about what gifts to give to our teachers tomorrow.
At this time of year, as long as the teacher had a decent relationship with the students, then the students would always buy something for the teacher. For example, when my father was a teacher, the students would stand up in unison in cla.s.s and shout ‘Teacher, happy holidays!’ or ‘ Teacher, thank you for your hard work!’.
“Every lesson tomorrow, when the teacher starts cla.s.s on the podium, everyone must stand up and shout ‘Happy Holiday!’.”
The cla.s.s leader told us.
“Then Gong CaiCai will hand over the gifts to the teacher, and everyone will applaud to liven up the atmosphere. Understand?”
“We understand——”
I don’t even know if everyone listened carefully or not, or simply followed along.
“Why, why am I the one who has to deliver the gift…” Gong CaiCai looked embarra.s.sed, as if the cla.s.s leader had given her the task of doing a striptease on the podium.
“Cai Cai, your seat is right in front of the podium, closest to the teacher.” the cla.s.s leader said with a good reason, “Also, you’re the daily life committee member, and you’re in charge of the cla.s.s’ budget. You’re the most suitable person to give the teacher the gift.”
After some boys who liked to tease Gong CaiCai heard that she would give the gifts tomorrow, they started to say:
“Don’t be afraid, Gong CaiCai! When you hand over the gift tomorrow, we’ll sing a song for you!”
“In order to not break the gift, but also to show sincerity, you should bring it up with the gift on your head!”
It was already a well-known secret in cla.s.s 3-3 that Gong CaiCai walked more steadily with something on her head than without. Sometimes she would be called “Gong CaiCai, the one who could hold anything on her head”.
“There’s no need to buy a gift for the history teacher, that old pervert! Let him touch your chest, it’ll definitely work better than any other gift!”
Some of the dirty suggestions were shouted out while they pinched their nose, so that it was mixed in with the other voices and no one could tell who made the suggestion.
But the cla.s.s leader’s eyes were very keen and her ears were very sharp. As she stood up on the podium and looked down at her surroundings, she instantly identified the speaker as Eunuch Cao.
The look in her eyes as if she was looking at garbage appeared again.
“Cao JingShen, if you think letting the teacher touch b.r.e.a.s.t.s can be used as a Teacher’s Day gift, then you can come up tomorrow and let the teacher touch your b.r.e.a.s.t.s —— you’re so fat that your b.r.e.a.s.t.s are larger than many girls’ b.r.e.a.s.t.s, right?”
“No, no…” Eunuch Cao’s eyes flickered and he looked away in embarra.s.sment.
“Sob sob ~~(>_<>~~”, Xiao Qin suddenly put her head down on her desk and began to bawl.
“As expected of the evil-natured second female lead! She didn’t forget to ridicule me even when we’re talking about Teacher’s Day gifts! I didn’t even offend her!”
Hey! So you admit that your b.r.e.a.s.t.s aren’t as big as Eunuch Cao’s, right? Don’t fall into the trap of having a victim mentality! The cla.s.s leader was mocking Eunuch Cao, not you!
After criticizing Eunuch Cao and improving discipline, the cla.s.s leader asked everyone for their opinions on what gifts to buy after school today.
“How about melatonin?” One of the cla.s.s leader’s loyal dogs said without any malice, “I think all our teachers need melatonin supplements, especially teacher Yu!”
“Declined.” The cla.s.s leader did not give the student a chance to continue.
“Dumbbells! 5 kilogram dumbbells!” Xiong YaoYue raised her hand, “Our teachers all need dumbbells for exercise! It’s best to give them dumbbells!”
Xiong YaoYue, I think you’re the one who should take melatonin, right? Even excluding biology and geography, we still have teachers for seven subjects: Chinese, mathematics, English, physics, chemistry, politics, and history! Do you want Gong CaiCai to come to school tomorrow carrying 5×7=35 kilograms of dumbbells? She would definitely die of exhaustion on the way here! She’ll be exhausted to death by your stupid suggestions!
“Forget the dumbbells.” the cla.s.s leader said, “We could also give greeting cards, we gave them out last year, but it wasn’t very effective and they lacked practicality. Are there any more practical gifts we could give?”
“How about lotion?” Little Smart raised her hand and said, “The teacher’s hands constantly come into contact with chalk, which will affect their skin. If they apply some hand lotion from time to time, it will help to some extent, right?”
Many people nodded in response. Not all of our teachers were men and it felt very appropriate to give hand lotion to female teachers. There was nothing wrong with even male teachers using lotion.
“What a great idea!” The squinty-eyed cla.s.smate who once worked with Eunuch Cao to produce “28 Middle’s Red Light District” agreed, “Lotions can be used on your hands and face!”
However, he had some blisters in his mouth and was a bit tongue-tied when he spoke. He ended up saying: “Lotions can be squeezed on your hands and face!”
The cla.s.s leader wasn’t sure whether he did it on purpose since he had a history with Eunuch Cao, so in order to maintain order, she asked him to write a 400-word gift proposal and hand it in before cla.s.s ends. The main purpose was to not give him any free time to say anything else.
“I think pens are good.” The physics cla.s.s representative, Niu ShiLi, crossed his arms in front of his chest. “It’s practical enough and very suitable for a teacher.”
“Well, beef jerky is also quite practical.” Loud Mouth suggested. “I know where the best ones are. The teachers will definitely fall in love with it after eating it once!”
Zhuang Ni, whose seat was diagonally opposite of Loud Mouth, laid on her desk to catch up on her sleep after finishing the chalkboard art at noon. She did not partic.i.p.ate in the discussion, and the cla.s.s leader didn’t wake her up because she was afraid she would list items such as:
“Utility knife, Eunuch Cao’s fingers, Niu ShiLi’s fingers, Xu LiJun’s fingers, Ye Lin’s fingers…”
Does she want to turn all the boys in the cla.s.s into a finger-less Doraemon! If half of the students in the cla.s.s are Doraemon, then the gift the teacher receives on Teacher’s Day will be extremely technologically advanced!
Of course, it would also be possible to receive a pile of dorayaki…
After a heated and pa.s.sionate discussion, the cla.s.s leader first rejected some extremely unreliable suggestions and decided by a vote to give pens and diaries to male teachers and hand lotion to female teachers on Teachers’ Day this year. She was going to organize a group of people to buy it after school today.
There was still ¥725 left in our cla.s.s’ money that was managed by Gong CaiCai. The main reason was because the cla.s.s leader often payed out of her own pocket even when it should have been paid from our cla.s.s’ money (such as buying drinks for everyone during group activities) and she didn’t ask Gong CaiCai for reimburs.e.m.e.nt afterwards. Usually, students were required to throw empty beverage bottles in the recycling corner of the cla.s.sroom. Over time, it begins to add up, and the income from recycling the bottles was also given to Gong CaiCai and kept with the cla.s.s’ money. We had more than enough money to buy the gifts and didn’t need more money from everyone else.
Since we’ll use the cla.s.s’ money to buy gifts, Gong CaiCai had to come along. However, the cla.s.s leader was worried about letting her go alone. Especially since most of the hand lotions were kept in gla.s.s bottles. If you give it to Gong CaiCai, you wouldn’t be able to use it on your hands nor your face, you would only be able to use it on the floor.
“I’ll go with you after school.” The cla.s.s leader finally decided to go shopping along with Gong CaiCai.
Xiao Qin, who had keen senses, suddenly thought of something. She suddenly raised her hand and boldly said in front of the boys in the cla.s.s:
“Cla.s.s leader! Let me go buy the Teacher’s Day gifts with Gong CaiCai! I’ll protect her the entire way and take good care of the hand lotion! I love to help others!”
It was obviously an attempt to do good deeds to gain stars, and not because she wanted to bully Gong CaiCai. But when Gong CaiCai heard that Xiao Qin was going to go with her, her body immediately started shaking uncontrollably.
“Shoot!” Xiao Qin suddenly remembered after volunteering herself, “I have to meet with the cult today after school with Ye Lin! How could I have forgotten about it! The allure of stars have blinded me…”