Chapter 635: f.u.c.k You, b.i.t.c.h
I threatened Ai Mi that if she really sent her nude photos, I would immediately turn off my phone without even looking at it. I’ll keep it off until the end of the camping trip, then give the phone to Peng TouSi and ask him to help me delete the photos.
It’s fine since Peng TouSi doesn’t have any desires for women. Ai Mi doesn’t avoid Peng TouSi when she changes clothes or takes a shower, she even tells him to help her apply sunscreen.
Seeing my unusually determined att.i.tude, Ai Mi clicked her tongue in disappointment.
“Fine, then I won’t send a nude photo…”
As I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, Ai Mi followed up and said: “I’m bored, play a guessing game with me.”
“Okay.” I replied, “Do I come up with the questions or do you?”
“Let’s take turns.” Ai Mi stretched out her body which made the water around her splash, “Here are the rules, we both take a picture of a certain part of our body, then we send it to each other and let each other guess which part it is…”
How is that any different than sending a nude photo? I don’t really believe you would send pictures of your hands or feet or other easy to guess places, don’t tell me you want to send a close-up of your private parts.
“Eh, brother, why aren’t you saying anything? Are you agreeing? Wait a bit, my phone isn’t waterproof, so let me stand up…”
“Stop, it doesn’t matter which area you’re taking a picture of. If you aren’t going to talk about normal topics, I’ll break my phone.”
“Hmph, who stipulated that this topic is abnormal between brothers and sisters?” Ai Mi asked me a bit exasperated, “Rules, laws, morals, these are all things that only the weak obey.”
You learned all of that from Ai ShuQiao, right? Can you please learn something more appropriate for your age.
“Egyptian pharaohs have always had a tradition of marriage between siblings…” The ignorant Ai Mi actually started giving me examples from history.
“That was to prevent royal power from leaving the family.” I criticized her seriously, “And you’ve heard of the famous Pharaoh Tutankhamun, right? He was the offspring of a brother and sister marriage, he suffered from deformities and died before he was 20 years old.”
“That’s because the ancients were technologically lacking.” Ai Mi thought it was natural, “Now with DNA science, we can almost already order ‘custom babies’, the rich can enjoy this technology first. Besides, it’s not like it’s absolutely necessary to have a child with brother…”
“I’m going to hang up if you keep bringing this up.”
“Then hang up, so what, d.a.m.n manservant.” Ai Mi grunted in exasperation and hung up first, seemingly also throwing her phone.
I was at a loss as I held the phone that had a dead tone next to my ear.
After three minutes, my phone received a text.
I had a bad feeling, so I did not open the text message, but only looked at the sender.
It was a message from Ai Mi, I can’t read it! I can’t play this kind of immoral guessing game with my sister.
I was about to touch the screen to delete the text message, but Eunuch Cao’s voice unexpectedly came from outside the door: “Master, I came to apologize…”
I was already nervous, then my fingers shook and I directly clicked on that text message!
d.a.m.n you Eunuch Cao, you committed a capital offense, you made me see my sister’s naked body! I’m going to feed you to Obama tonight.
I thought I would have to poke myself in the eyes, but the photo that came with the message was not a private part, but of Ai Mi’s white hands stained with water droplets.
It looked as tender as lotus root and was overflowing with beauty. It would have been better if it wasn’t a picture of her pointing her middle finger at me.
When Eunuch Cao noticed I didn’t reply, he stopped knocking and ran away.
I thought it was rude of Ai Mi to give the middle finger to her brother, so I also stuck up my middle finger, took a picture of it and wanted to send it back to Ai Mi.
But as I was editing the message, I shuddered: No, when Chinese people see the middle finger gesture, their first reaction is “screw your mom”, but for Europeans and Americans, the gesture stands for “f.u.c.k you, b.i.t.c.h”, which means “I’ll f.u.c.k you” if you remove the last word.
So when Ai Mi sent me a picture of her middle finger, other than to express her own dissatisfaction, there was also a hidden meaning. If I also reply with a middle finger, wouldn’t it be equivalent to the two of us saying “I want to f.u.c.k you” to each other?
Even if Ai Mi follows local customs and thinks the middle finger means “screw you mother”, I can’t send it back because her mother is my mother! Although I hate Ai ShuQiao, I don’t have those kinds of weird tastes.
Thus I gave up on sending the picture and just replied: “Good night.”
Ai Mi ignored me, she was probably doing some sort of neglect play.
There was another knock on the door, it was quite urgent and rude.
I was angry, so I flung open the door while cursing, “d.a.m.n fatty, you still have the courage to come back…”
It turns out the person who knocked on the door was Loud Mouth, and as soon as she heard the words “d.a.m.n fatty”, she raised her lobster claws to pinch my arm.
“Um, sis Yu Hong, please show mercy!” I quickly pleaded. Loud Mouth has always treated me well, so it would be friendly fire for me to insult her.
“Tsk, I’ll let you off because of your sweet talking.” Loud Mouth retracted her claws and asked: “Ye Lin, you know how to play cards, right?”
“I guess…” I then saw that the door of the room opposite to me was open, but the cla.s.s leader was not inside. Obama was temporarily chained a leg of the bed and there were four cushions on the floor, one of which was empty. As for the other three cushions, there was Gong CaiCai who was afraid of the dog, Winnie who was playing with the dog, and Xiao Qin who was sulking in front of the other two.
But all three of them were holding a hand of cards, and Loud Mouth also had cards in her hand.
“Here’s the deal.” Loud Mouth explained to me, “I came here to play cards with the cla.s.s leader, but she went to discuss tomorrow’s schedule with Mr. Yu, so I called over Winnie and Xiao Qin, plus Gong CaiCai, to play together…”
“Isn’t that nice.” I think Xiao Qin should partic.i.p.ate more in this type of group entertainment so that she can learn to interact with others in a normal way.
“It is good.” Loud Mouth patted her stomach, “But Little Smart just called me and said someone called me a fat pig on my blog. Do you think I could just let that go? I have to go back to Little Smart and curse this guy out.”
“Wait.” I asked, “Have you posted your own photo on your blog before?”
“No.” Loud Mouth replied, “It’s a food blog, not a model blog. Besides, I’m afraid someone would PS my pictures if I uploaded any.”
I faintly felt the person who left the comment might be someone Loud Mouth knows in real life. It might even be Eunuch Cao, who she had just kicked.
I told her my opinion and Loud Mouth came to a realization. She rubbed her palms together, “Well, it looks like I have to tear this d.a.m.n eunuch to pieces today.” She was walking away in a fit of anger.
After she took a step, she turned around and gave me her cards, then said: “Since I called everyone out, it’s not good if I leave. So it’s okay if you play for me a bit, right?”
I took the playing cards and told Loud Mouth that she should beat Eunuch Cao a little harder after she caught him.
Loud Mouth made a gesture of “don’t worry” and left.
Right after she left, Xiao Qin said to Gong CaiCai and Winnie: “I’m not playing anymore either. Even if I am playing, it would only be with Ye Lin cla.s.smate.”
Gong CaiCai was originally afraid of Xiao Qin and Winnie felt guilty, so the two of them felt awkward when she said that.
“Sit down.” I ordered Xiao Qin said, “It’s more fun playing with more people.” I said as I walked in the door and sat on the cushion that was vacated by Loud Mouth.
If we were going in a clockwise direction, then Xiao Qin was the player after me, Gong CaiCai was before me, and Winnie was opposite to me. Loud Mouth left a lot of snacks and drinks in the middle, so Winnie’s mouth was never idle.
I closed the door after I walked in, which meant it was me along with three other girls and a dog sharing a room.
“Woof.” Obama barked at Winnie who was eating w.a.n.g w.a.n.g Senbei. Winnie pretended to feed the senbei to Obama, then stuffed it into her mouth halfway which made Obama roll his eyes in anger.
I shuffled the deck and asked: “What were you guys playing earlier.”
“Playing with the dog.” Winnie answered.
“Fantasizing about Ye Lin cla.s.smate.” Xiao Qin’s answer was even weirder.
“We… we were playing fighting the landlord…” Gong CaiCai timidly said the answer I wanted to hear.
“I don’t know how to play that.” I said, “Let’s play something else, what about 50K?”
“I know how to play anything.” Winnie said while drinking a yogurt drink and didn’t care even when the white liquid flowed out along the corners of her mouth.
“I’ll play whatever Ye Lin cla.s.smate says.” Xiao Qin replied, “Even me…”
“…..” Gong CaiCai stayed silent without saying a word.
Thus the four of us began playing 50K with Obama watching us with a foolish expression.
Then Gong CaiCai lost.
It was a tragic loss.
Winnie could not stand a game without any challenge.
“Hey, Cai Cai, what’s going on? Do you know how to play?”
Gong CaiCai lowered her head, her body slightly trembled and said, “I, I don’t know how to play… even fighting the landlord was something my aunt just taught me…”
“Huh, then why didn’t you say you don’t know when Ye Lin asked earlier?”
“I…” Gong CaiCai trembled even more, “I was afraid to say it…”
Gong CaiCai was afraid of both large animals and Xiao Qin. Although Winnie and I sometimes protect her, there are times where we also trouble her. So currently, Gong CaiCai was stuck in a room with four creatures she was afraid of, she was isolated and helpless, hoping for the cla.s.s leader to return.
I suggest we play “old maid” instead. It was a super simple game that everyone would know, and even if they don’t, they can learn it immediately.
Obama nodded foolishly as if he could understand human speech.