Darren"s perspective of Xiu had always been a girl who was broken and lost. Perhaps, that"s why he was surprised to hear her words. Because the way she talked didn"t show her loneliness at all. Instead, it made him see her as a very positive person. For a moment Darren couldn"t even believe that it was the same girl who held so much sadness and loneliness in her eyes and in her smile. Or was it that sadness that made her so optimistic? Or maybe, optimism and hope were the only thread she could possibly hold on to.
In his own thoughts, he didn"t even realize how he ended up saying, "You have pretty awesome words to say for someone who doesn"t even have a dream in the first place."
Xiu"s mind went blank for a moment as she heard his words to the point that she ended up laughing like a crazy person. "I can feel the irony..." She said in her head as only she knew herself that she had no dream or goal in life. When her life was already planned by someone else, why would she bother with dreams? But she still said to him, "How can you just a.s.sume that I don"t have a dream? I"m a huge star. Obviously my biggest dream is to get even more recognition for my work and not just for being a pretty face."
"Even though you made those words sound so believable, I still don"t believe a single word you just said," answered Darren casually making Xiu smile sardonically at herself. "I don"t know about the rest but I know one thing for certain..." Xiu raised her brows in antic.i.p.ation and he went on, "You"re a very good liar."
Xiu"s eyes widened in surprise as she asked, "You think I"m a liar? And a good one? Then how come you didn"t believe my dream?"
Darren heaved a long sigh as he said, "You"re a good liar but to the point that you can only lie to yourself. Perhaps, your lies sound convincing to yourself and that"s how you managed to survive in this cruel world of entertainment."
Xiu stayed silent for a minute before she burst out laughing hysterically to the point that tears came out of her eyes. However, whether those tears were from the laughter or just the sad reality she felt in his words, she couldn"t tell herself. Whatever it was, his words made her feel pity for herself.
"Boy, you hit exactly where it hurts the most," said Xiu while wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes. "Be nice with words. You might get yourself in trouble otherwise."
"Aren"t you the nicest? You"re like the literal definition of an angel, so tell me where did it get you?" retorted Darren without missing a beat.
Xiu was speechless. She really had no comeback for that. He really read her way too deep without her realizing it herself. As for where being the nicest person got her, the answer was nowhere. Since she had always been labeled as a fake for being too nice. Even though that was just how she was.
When Darren noticed the way her face fell because of his words, he felt bad and cursed himself for having a blunt mouth for the very first time in his life. He opened his mouth to speak when she said softly, "I feel like I"m living someone else"s dream."
"Huh?" He knitted his brows in confusion.
"Millions dream of being a golden celebrity. It certainly isn"t my dream, I just happen to own it."
Her words struck Darren"s heart in a weird way. He had read somewhere, "It"s one thing to have a dream, it"s another thing to own a dream." He felt like he finally understood the context of it. O perhaps, he was taking it the wrong way.
"But anyway, I, Chen Xiu don"t want to chase a dream. It"s too tiring for my old soul. I would rather be a dream catcher. That just reminded me I always wanted a dream catcher and I still don"t have one." She clicked her fingers together as if she had a brilliant idea as she said, "You know what, I"m gonna buy myself a dream catcher. It might help me in catching my dream."
Darren closed his eyes briefly at how innocent she sounded. "Ms. Chen Xiu, I think you have some misconception. Dream catchers are from North American ancient legends that described it as a charm of protection and hope."
"Say what?!" Xiu exclaimed as if she was experiencing a cultural shock which she certainly was though. "What the b.l.o.o.d.y fis.h.!.+ I always thought I could capture my dreams with those dangling feathers. What the h.e.l.l! I really am dumb."
"Did you just realize that?"
Xiu narrowed her eyes at him saying, "Go ahead laugh all you want. People do it all the time. Actually, I don"t even care anymore. Hmph!"
Darren noticed her broody face as she humphed and sat down on the floor with hunched shoulders and said, "Should I bring a dream catcher for you? To apologize for laughing?"
"Will you?" Xiu suddenly perked up.
"If you say so, I will," said Darren a.s.suringly.
"I want..." Xiu stopped herself from continuing and he watched her looking down at her hospital clothes and she touched her bandage as she said, "No. Forget it."
"You don"t want the dream catcher or you don"t want me to come?" asked Darren curiously.
Xiu leaned her head against the metal railing as she pouted and sighed heavily while thinking, "I don"t want you to see me like this." She really didn"t want to show her pathetic side to him. She didn"t mind being a dumb person to him but she didn"t want his sympathy. One thing that pushed her towards him was how he was always sarcastic and real with words. He never sugar-coated anything for her sake. And she certainly didn"t want that to change.
"I don"t know what you look like so even if you one day you pa.s.s by me, I won"t recognize you. That makes me excited for some reason. Mystery vibes. I like it." said Xiu instead of answering his question.
"And you"re officially the craziest person I know. You even topped this list leaving my best friend behind who by the way is the epitome of craziness himself."
Xiu laughed at how he described his best friend and avoided telling the truth that in reality, she felt rea.s.surance in this mystery. In her opinion, soon enough, he"d realize that she wasn"t worth it. And then he"d be disappointed in her just like her own mother was. That"s why she wanted that mystery to stay. Because that way, even if he"d get disappointed in her one day, she won"t be able to tell.
*End of Flashback*