Nostalgia is defined as a sentimental or wistful yearning for the happiness felt in a former place, time or situation. But nostalgia is also defined as denial - denial of the painful present.
Coming back to the city she grew up in, Xiu was in dilemma. Her inner self was in a conflict over whether she was supposed to feel any nostalgia? Especially when her present was so much more beautiful than the past? But she couldn"t possibly deny that she had some level of attachment to this place. This city had seen the glory of Chen Xiu and her downfall as well.
This city had seen her laughing, crying, struggling with her mental health, her depression, her loneliness. What this city didn"t see before was her satisfaction. Because Chen Xiu was never satisfied with her life.
It was early morning when they had landed in the Xia Capital. She had rolled down the windowpane of the car to breathe in some fresh air. However, she ended up coughing because of the heavy smog and rolled up the window. Now that felt very familiar to her. Sitting at the back seat, Dylan chuckled at her reaction. Xiu scrunched up her face at him but said nothing.
First, they left their luggage at the hotel and then went straight to the meeting. Xiu followed Dylan for the whole day around and was surprised to see how serious he was about this project. After how much she was tired, she only wanted to drop on her bed and sleep.
Despite that, Dylan pulled her to the hotel"s restaurant and said, "Have dinner with me." Seeing her scowling, he added, "I don"t like eating alone."
Xiu rolled her eyes at him and shook her head before taking a seat. They both ordered a steak.
"Is Cabernet Sauvignon okay with you?" he asked Xiu"s opinion for wine.
Hearing the name of her favorite wine with steak, Xiu"s heart blossomed. However, it instantly withered when Darren"s voice rang in her mind, "You"re not allowed to drink when I"m not around." Her face fell and she forced herself to say, "I"d like a gla.s.s of lemonade. Thank you!"
"What?" Dylan was shocked. "Lemonade with steak? You sure about that?"
Xiu clenched her fists tightly and nodded her head firmly. Dylan shrugged his shoulders and ordered the wine for himself and lemonade for herself. As the wine was served and Xiu saw Dylan savoring the taste of the red wine, her heart cried out. Dylan noticed her expressions and said, "If you want it just say so."
"I don"t want it," said Xiu and looked away from him. "My boyfriend said I can"t drink in his absence."
Dylan almost spurted out the drink when he heard her mumbling to herself. He thought something was wrong with his hearing. "I didn"t know you"re this obedient."
"I"m very obedient, you just don"t know it," said Xiu.
"You"re never obedient around me how would I know?" Dylan pointed out.
Xiu waited for the server to leave before she picked up her knife and fork and said, "There is the difference between you and your best friend."
"What"s the difference?" asked Dylan while cutting his steak. "He"s your boyfriend and I"m your boss. I pay you that means you should be listening to me."
Xiu took a bite of her steak and smiled as she loved the taste before saying, "My boyfriend lives in my heart as my heartbeat that I don"t want to get rid of. While you live in my head as a headache I can"t get rid of." She took a pause before adding, "Besides, as the saying goes we should always listen to our heart and my boyfriend lives there. Logically, I should be listening to him."
Dylan gave her a hard stare in disbelief and harrumphed. He thought he was going crazy since he actually understood her logic. He picked up his phone to check and put it back down again. When he repeated the same act three times, Xiu finally spoke up, "Stop checking your darn phone every minute. No one loves you. Isn"t that obvious already?"
Dylan"s jaw clenched as a vein at his temple twitched dangerously. "Remind me why did I invite you to dinner?"
Xiu shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and said, "Who knows? I was under the impression that you needed a babysitter again. Isn"t that why I"m following you around?"
Dylan had the urge to slam his head against the table. Because only an idiot like him would talk to her knowing very well how much of pain in the b.u.t.t she was. If he didn"t hate eating alone, he would have never invited his mortal enemy for dinner. But other than Xiu his only option in Capital was calling out Zhou Jinhai and that was worse.
"I can"t possibly be a sane person for actually expecting a sane conversation with you."
Xiu wiped her mouth with a napkin and said, "Uncle, you"re barely even a person and you"re talking about being a sane person? Tsk. Tsk."
"You"re impossibly crazy!" exclaimed Dylan before gulping down his wine straight from the bottle. Xiu"s eyes widened but she didn"t try to stop him. "I was expecting a fun conversation with you but you just turned it into a funeral instead!"
Xiu flipped her hair dramatically, "I"ve been told I"m the crazy b.i.t.c.h but thanks for your compliment anyway." Drinking so much wine in one go left Dylan a bit tipsy and Xiu could see that from the way his face was heating up. Just as she had once thought, he was unusually fair which made that red tinges on her cheeks even more obvious. "Come, I"ll take you to your room."
Xiu helped him up and walked with him to his room. All the way to his room, Dylan was silent which forced Xiu to a.s.sume that he was a silent drunk. Furthermore, he looked adorable being all quiet and pouting like a kid. When they arrived before his room"s door, he stopped and stared at her.
As he leaned forward, Xiu leaned backward. After a long hard stare, he finally sighed out, "How is he interested in you?"
"Huh?"
"You are nothing like her," he mumbled softly but Xiu heard him clearly.
"What did you say?" Xiu asked for reconfirmation but Dylan didn"t repeat himself. He turned around and used the key card to open the door.
Right before closing the door, he looked at her standing there again and said, "You remind me of winter nights." Xiu frowned at him and he went on, "You"re pretty... Cold!" With that, he slammed the door shut leaving Xiu with her curiosity to gnaw at her heart.