Imperfect Desires

Chapter 90

Zhou Jinhai"s eyes drooped down as he contemplated Darren"s words in his mind. His mind somehow realized which rose had dwindled in his life but his heart wasn"t accepting it. If he accepted, his world will collide once again.

"Are you talking about... Chen... Chen Xiu?" He stuttered to complete his question. As if he couldn"t bring himself to even say her name. As if it was too painful to even remember that name.

"HEOL! You do remember her name. That"s a shocker," Darren snickered with contempt making Zhou Jinhai curl his fingers into his palm. "Do you know how much I envied you because of her?" Zhou Jinhai raised his brow in surprise. "But now, I pity you. I really do."

"Daz, let"s stop here." Dylan tried to stop Darren since he could see how Darren was hurting himself along with Zhou Jinhai. 

Darren, however, didn"t listen to him as he added, "Jin Ge, I only lost the person who gave me a second chance at life. You..." He laughed with no humor as he went on, "You lost that one person who loved you with all her heart. With all she was. Doesn"t that make you the most pitiful person between us? I never had anything but you always did. You had everything. Perhaps, that"s why you didn"t know how to cherish her."

Zhou Jinhai took off his spectacles and rubbed his eyes. It seemed like he was trying to ma.s.sage his tiredness away but how could Dylan and Darren be fooled so easily? They knew Zhou Jinhai was trying to hide his tears from them.

Putting his spectacles back on, Zhou Jinhai placed his hand on Darren"s shoulder and said, "You"re right. I had everything. I took it all from you after all. Today, I realized I even took Xiu from you. Do you really have to make me hate myself to that extent?"

"Yes. I do. I never questioned you for anything. But... I"ll never stop questioning you for her death. It wasn"t a suicide. You and everyone around you pushed Ah-Xiu from that balcony. I won"t let this go. Ever." Darren spoke without holding back at all.

Zhou Jinhai had a sad smile on his face as he said, "I set her free back then. That was the only way I knew to save her."

Darren shoved his shoulder saying, "Stop fooling yourself. All she wanted was to hold your hand. She went through all that because you were holding her hand. But the moment you abandoned her and stopped being her support, she gave up. You still don"t even realize how desperately she wanted to hold your hand."

 The rims of Darren"s eyes had reddened as he bit his tongue to hold back his tears. To be honest, this battle of revenge was the most difficult for Darren himself. On one side was the girl he loved wholeheartedly and on the other side was Zhou Jinhai. Describing Zhou Jinhai and Darren"s relation couldn"t be done in a few words. 

They both had defied the norms of society to keep their friends.h.i.+p and brotherhood. Even when they fell apart, they didn"t stop caring for each other. But the death of Chen Xiu managed to stand like an unbreakable wall between them.

Seeing Darren like this, Zhou Jinhai finally realized something. He didn"t just break Chen Xiu back then. He ended up breaking Darren as well. His heart shook violently at this realization. One left the world because of him and the other was living like a dead person. He really wished to ask Darren, "Just how much did you love Chen Xiu?" but he couldn"t bring out the words. The words got stuck in his throat just like his emotions that had choked up.

There seemed to have come a moment of stalemate. It wasn"t that none of them had anything to say. It was more like none of them wished to speak anymore. This awkward silence was broken when Darren"s cellphone rang. Seeing the caller id, he was surprised as he attended the call, "h.e.l.lo!"

"h.e.l.lo to you too, Mr. Invisible!" Xiu"s slurred words were heard from the other side. Hearing her voice, Darren was left dumbfounded for some reason unknown to himself. Xiu waited for a minute before tapping on the mic, "Yah! Where are you? Why aren"t you talking? Don"t like my voice now?"

Darren darted out his tongue to stroke his lips and asked, "Did you drink?"

"Oh, that... Hehe... I was at the company dinner. Had a couple of shots of Baiju." Xiu answered before hiccuping and saying, "Oopsie! Sorry!" and laughed again like a lunatic.

Darren held his forehead with his hand and asked, "Where are you?"

"Me? Mmm..." Xiu took a while as if to think before replying, "I"m on the bus. But my stop is not coming. I think the driver is planning on kidnapping me."

Darren rolled his eyes at her kidnapping drama again. Just how imaginative was her mind to always think that she was being kidnapped? However, he knew drunk Xiu was like a child. Saying anything would only worsen the situation. 

He looked up to find two curious pairs of eyes on himself and put the phone on mute before saying, "Didi, you can go back now and please take him with you or the next punch won"t be as light as the last one." With that, Darren walked off in the opposite direction.

Looking in the direction he left, Zhou Jinhai asked, "He hates me, right?"

Dylan didn"t want to talk but he still replied, "No. Even if he wants to, he can"t hate you. That"s the biggest dilemma of his life right now. Daz can never hate you but likewise, he can"t bring himself to forgive you as well. So, he just pretends to hate you."

"How far is he willing to go to avenge Chen Xiu?" Zhou Jinhai asked with a complicated gaze.

"He tried to bury himself with my G.o.ddess Xiu," said Dylan making Zhou Jinhai look at him in shock as he continued, "How far do you think he is willing to go?"

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