"I"m not exactly sure." Sequoia shot him a grin. "But I"ll know when I see it."
He only shook his head, but luck was with her. As soon as they entered the park, she spotted an elderly couple walking hand-in-hand. Though they didn"t speak to each other, they still managed to communicate in a single look, a nod of the head.
"See them?" she told Ewan. "That"s love that"s endured, grown stronger for weathering what life has to offer."
"I see no love, only ancient mortals soon to return to nature."
Sequoia sighed. "You"re trying to be deliberately dense, aren"t you?"
His expression didn"t change, but she thought she detected a hint of mischief in his eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Watch them." She turned to do so. "See how comfortable they are with each other. Can you feel the affection between them? Notice how he watches where they walk and leads her around cracks that might make her stumble."
"And this is love?" Ewan sounded dubious at best.
"It"s part of it. Love is a bond between two people, between many people, that endures no matter what happens. If she were to return to nature, as you put it, he wouldn"t love her any less. He"d keep his love and her memory alive in his heart."
Ewan placed his hand over his chest. "You make this simple heart out to be more than just a physical organ."
"Because it is more." How could she make him understand? "Loving someone can bring you more joy-and sometimes more pain-than anything else in this world."
"Pain?"
"To lose someone you love can bring physical pain. You can"t touch them anymore, can"t talk to them. It leaves a hole in your life that can never be filled, not in the same way." Remembering how she"d felt when the only grandfather she"d known had died brought tears to her eyes. "Yet because you loved them, a bit of them remains alive inside you. They"re never completely gone." Even now, she could still recall the licorice bits he kept in his pocket and the scent of his favorite pipe tobacco.
"Would you feel pain if I went away?" Ewan asked abruptly.
Sequoia shot him a puzzled look. "Some," she admitted. She liked him. Despite his arrogance, he did make life interesting.
"And would you remember me?"
"I doubt I"ll ever forget you." Her adventure with him would be a tale for her grandchildren.
He stopped and faced her. "Then you love me?"
His words sent a stone plummeting to her stomach. "I can"t." She answered quickly without thought, afraid to examine that question. "I don"t even know you."
"Yet you just said I meet the criteria you laid out for love."
His logic made her want to scream. "There"s more to it than that. Love is more than physical attraction and kisses. It"s knowing another person-good and bad-and still caring." She placed her palm over her chest. "Who they are inside."
She stared at him. Did she know who he was? A magical man, of course, and s.e.xy as sin, but kind despite his attempts to be macho and overbearing. He made her laugh, made her feel more intensely than she"d ever experienced before. She enjoyed his company. Worse, she actually liked him.
He remained quiet as well, apparently considering her words. When he spoke again, he surprised her. "And who are you inside, Sequoia? I know you are a woman who cares about a great many people. Are you more than that?"
"I hope so." Sequoia paused. Who was she? "I enjoy the illusions Brand has taught me. I think I could be good at it if I practiced more. But my parents want me to go to college and get a degree in something "worthwhile." "
"Do you not wish to go?"
"Not really. I like what I"m doing. Brand is a great boss, the job is fun, and I get to travel." But she was sometimes lonely, not that she"d admit that. Many a night alone in another anonymous hotel room, she"d stared at the city lights and wondered if there was something more she was missing.
"Can you not tell your parents that?"
She smiled wryly. "I"ve tried. They think I"m going through a phase. No matter how famous Brand is, they want me to be more than his a.s.sistant."
"Why?"
"Because they love me, they want what"s best for me."
"But is it best for you?"
Sequoia had to laugh. "I wish I knew."
Ewan resumed walking. "I am certain I will never comprehend love. It is too complex and illogical."
"True enough, Spock." Sequoia stopped abruptly, her gaze caught by the sight of angry flames leaping into the air in the distance. "Fire. Come on, Ewan."
She ran toward the flames, not waiting to see if Ewan followed. Had the fire department been called? She hadn"t heard sirens recently. Or had she been too wrapped up in Ewan to not notice? Did someone need help?
A two-story house on a corner opposite the park was on fire, flames reaching greedy fingers out the windows and through the roof. Two fire trucks were set up with hoses aimed at the blaze, but as far as Sequoia could tell, the water wasn"t doing much good yet. Even from across the street, she could feel the heat.
"Oh my G.o.d!" She pointed to a window on the second story, where a fireman stood, a small child cradled in his arms. "How can anyone still be alive in that?"
"He will never make it out safely," Ewan said with a calmness that made her want to hit him. "The fire is shooting out around his ladder."
Flames shot out of lower story windows, arcing through the ladder spokes. No way the fireman could descend safely. "They have a net thing, don"t they?" But she didn"t notice one being set up.
"Catch the kid."
She heard the fireman"s shout and gasped as he tossed the child to the ground. Two firefighters caught the child safely and hustled it away from the house.
Sequoia"s heart filled her throat. What now? She took a step forward, wanting to do something, anything, but Ewan placed his hand on her shoulder.
"You cannot help."
"But he"ll die." She couldn"t look away from the man in that window.
"Why did he go inside when it was so dangerous?"
"Because that"s what firemen do," she snapped. "They care about people and risk their lives for them on a routine basis."
"Even people they cannot possibly know?"
"Usually people they don"t know." She drew in a sharp breath as the fireman swung his legs out the window. He was going to jump. The distance wasn"t horrible, but he"d break something at the least. "Oh, no."
She brought her hands to her mouth to hold in the sharp cry that wrenched from her lungs as he leaped toward the ground. He fell swiftly, then abruptly slowed until his descent more resembled a gentle elevator ride. As he touched the soil with a slight b.u.mp, he glanced up to where he"d been.
"If that don"t beat all!" he exclaimed. "Looks like your guardian angel is working overtime, Matt," another man said, slapping Matt on the shoulder. "d.a.m.nedest thing I ever saw." A bubble of joy filled Sequoia as she whirled on Ewan and threw her arms around his neck. "You did that!" He staggered back a couple steps before he balanced himself, wrapping his arms around her. "It seemed important to you." "It was. Thank you, Ewan. Thank you." She kissed him with enthusiasm, giving free reign to the rush of pa.s.sion he incited. He"d saved the fireman for her. Her heart swelled. Had anyone ever done anything just for her?
He quickly took advantage of the situation and claimed ownership of the kiss, of her, his hands lifting her bottom to nestle her firmly against him. She had no doubt of his desire with the physical evidence pressed against her belly and was rapidly giving in to her own beneath his sensuous mouth.
When he left her lips, she moaned, wanting more, then shivered with delight as he nipped her earlobe and whispered words she didn"t understand, yet their meaning was perfectly clear. Excitement, heat, and need mixed with something far more dangerous, weaving through her gut until the realization made her cry out.
"Dear Lord, I think I do love you." How could this happen? She wanted to rationalize and couldn"t. Nothing about the man was rational.
He paused and caressed the side of her face, his gaze piercing and dark. "Then show me."
They were in her hotel room, which didn"t surprise her, though the force of the contained pa.s.sion in the tiny area did. He radiated s.e.x, and her body, her will responded. She brought his mouth back to hers. "Yes."
/ should have gone with Sequoia. Rose shifted the pizza box she carried from one hand to the other as she stood before the room to Brand"s hotel room, trying to convince herself to knock.
She shouldn"t be doing this. She knew better. It was dangerous, it was foolish, it was asking for trouble. She"d told herself she needed to explain things to Brand, but truth was she enjoyed his company, wanted to be with him, but what then? "This is insane."
She started to turn away, but the door opened as Brand prepared to step outside. Rose jumped, then managed a smile. "Pizza?"
His eyes, usually the main clue to his feelings, were masked, and he hesitated long enough to bolster her doubts.
"Forget it." She stepped back. "Stupid idea."
"No." He caught her free hand. "I like pizza." Pushing the door wide open, he guided her inside.
Rose swallowed, but went, feeling very similar to the fly heading for the spider"s web. "Everything but anchovies," she added.
"My favorite."
Of course, she"d remembered.
This room was much less luxurious than the one in St. Louis, so they ended up placing the pizza box on the bed and sitting cross-legged beside it to eat.
After devouring one slice, Brand paused. "Why did you come here, Rose?"
She considering his question, unable to find a satisfactory answer. At least not one she"d admit to. "Stupidity," she said finally.
He grinned. "I"m not going to argue that."
She wrinkled her nose at him, then continued. "And I want us to talk. Really talk." Something she hadn"t realized until that moment. "I don"t want to go through the rest of my life knowing you hate me." "I don"t hate you," he said slowly. "Detest me, then. At best, envy me." When he remained silent, she grimaced. "I don"t think you ever realized how much you hurt me when you quit being my friend. That made me feel even more freakish than I already did."
"Freakish?" His head snapped up. "You had magic, power."
"I had a gift that I had no idea how to control; that frightened the h.e.l.l out of me. When I needed you the most to help me, ground me like you always had, you weren"t there." To her horror, her eyes began to water, and she slid off the bed to pace the floor. Even now the memories still had the power to hurt. "Oh, d.a.m.n." "I was crazy with jealousy, Rose." Brand didn"t move. "All of a sudden you had everything I"ve always wanted without even asking for it."
"That"s right." She whirled to face him. "I didn"t ask for it, yet somehow it was still all my fault."
"Not all your fault." Brand met her gaze, his brilliant green eyes sober. "I gave equal credit to my father. Can you imagine how betrayed I felt when I learned he"d once been Fae, that he"d given up everything for my mother?"
"He adores your mother. Even a blind man could see that." After nearly thirty years of marriage, Brand"s parents could be spokespersons for enduring love. Rose crossed her arms. "So you believe magic is more important than love?"
"I believe love is highly overrated. It makes a man do things he later regrets."
Good thing she"d learned this now. It made controlling her attraction all the more easy. "I don"t think your father regrets anything."
"He"s a fool if he doesn"t. Look at what he gave up."
Rose stalked toward the door. "You"re the fool." She"d hoped that they could clear the air, resolve their differences, but that was not going to happen. Not while magic was the be-all and end-all for him.
He moved swiftly to block her exit. "d.a.m.n it, Rose. I haye Fae blood in my veins. Why couldn"t I have the magic?"
"Do you think I wouldn"t give it to you if I could? It doesn"t work that way. I can give you some abilities, like flying, but I can"t transfer all that makes up my magic." She raised her chin. "What do you want from me?"
"Oh, G.o.d." His groan was deep. "I want more than I should even dream about. I want you, Rose."
"No, you don"t." She evaded his outstretched hand. "You want the magic like everyone else. That"s all you see. That"s all you care about."
"I see you." Angry sparks lit his eyes. The line of his mouth was grim.
"Hardly. If you knew me, you wouldn"t have quit being my friend. You wouldn"t resent me for something that"s no fault of mine." She swallowed the thick lump in her throat. "If you really saw me, you"d know why I have to do this expose. I"ve never used magic to write any of them. My knowledge of magic, but nothing more. I"ve worked hard, done honest labor to earn a spot on this magazine, and this story means a promotion. For once in my life, I"ll have something I"ve earned with no magic involved."
"Rose..."
She shook her head. "If you knew me at all, you"d know that, Brand. Instead, you a.s.sumed I used my abilities to obtain my information. How could I do anything else? Right?"
Two tears fell to the carpet, turning at once into gleaming opals. Rose yanked open the door, detesting her display of weakness, but Brand caught her arm.
"I want to understand," he murmured, pain etched across his rugged features.
"You never will." How could he? "Not until you can realize what it"s like to be a faery in a world full of mortals." She tugged her arm free and hurried away. "And / can"t even do that."
Twelve.
Sequoia snuggled against Ewan"s shoulder, her body still humming with the aftereffects of excellent lovemaking. She"d heard the legends of the Fae being superb lovers, and now she knew it to be truth. "That was wonderful," she murmured.
"Yes, it was." Ewan sounded surprised, and Sequoia raised up on her elbow to peer down into his face.
"You don"t have to sound so shocked. What"s the matter? Didn"t expect it to be so good with a mere mortal?"
"I have never made love with a mortal before, so I had no expectations." He ran his finger over her bare shoulder, triggering a shiver of delight.
"And?" Was he disappointed? Don"t let him say so even if he was.
"It was very different."