In Brief Authority

Chapter 9

Four small pages stepped forward in pairs to carry Mr. and Mrs.

Stimpson"s trains, which they found a distinct convenience, and, hand in hand, they pa.s.sed through the great, elaborately niched and statued doorway into the nave. The interior was thronged by all the notables of Marchenland, including the venerable President of the Council and his Councillors. Above, the light struck in shafts through the painted windows of the clerestory, tinging the haze of incense fumes with faint colours. On the high altar twinkled innumerable tapers. "_Roman!_ as I suspected!" whispered Mrs. Wibberley-Stimpson on seeing them, and sniffing the scented atmosphere. (She had attended St. John"s at Gablehurst, because the vicar, although Evangelical, was well-known to be of good family.) Under a crimson canopy in the choir were two golden chairs which they understood they were expected to sit upon, and occupied accordingly. A mitred and coped ecclesiastic, who appeared to be some kind of Bishop, then shepherded them benevolently through a series of mystic rites that, besides being hopelessly unintelligible, seemed unreasonably protracted. However, they reached the climax at last, and amidst the tumultuous acclamations of the spectators the previously anointed heads of King Sidney and Queen Selina, as they must henceforth be described, received their respective crowns.

"Ha, well," remarked King Sidney, when he and the rest of the Royal family were once more in the coach, and on their way towards the palace that was to be their future home, "we got through it most successfully on the whole. Perhaps the Bishop was a little too lavish with the anointing part of the ceremony. Still, taken altogether, it was--ah--a very solemnising affair."

"It would have been more so, Sidney," said the Queen, "if you hadn"t kept on dropping your sceptre and tripping over your train. I don"t wonder the Bishop got fl.u.s.tered. But I do wish we could have had it properly done by the dear Archbishop of Canterbury!"

"Bit out of his diocese, Marchenland, what?" said the Crown Prince.

"I"m aware of that, Clarence; and, of course, we"re legally crowned, whoever did it.... Sidney, it"s only just struck me, but I"m sure we ought to be bowing. Bow, children, all of you--take the time from me.

Sidney, why aren"t _you_ bowing?"

"I can"t, my love. It"s difficult enough to keep my crown on as it is!"

"You can hold it on with one hand, can"t you? You simply _must_ bow if you don"t want to be unpopular! So must _you_, children. Keep _on_ with it!"

"Give us a rest, Mater," said Prince Clarence, after they had been nodding like Chinese mandarins for some minutes. "My neck"s beginning to wilt already!"

Queen Selina herself was not sorry to stop. "It"s certainly very fatiguing at first," she admitted; "we must practise it together in private.... Was that old Mrs. Fogleplug"s dove-chariot that pa.s.sed us just now? I"m afraid I shall have to put her in her place. She"s rather inclined to forget herself--not only addressed me as "my dear," but actually attempted to kiss me after the Coronation!"

"So she did _me_!" said the Princess Royal, "but I hope I showed that I thought she was taking a liberty."

"She"s a very worthy, well-meaning old creature, no doubt," remarked the Queen; "still, a Fairy G.o.dmother in these days is really _rather_--I shall have to get her to retire--on a pension."

"She"ll stick on," said Prince Clarence, "you see if she don"t. Means to boss the whole show."

"I shall soon let her see that I intend to be mistress in my own Kingdom," said the Queen. "I could wish, I must say, that it was just a little more up to date! Everything so dreadfully behind the times! I haven"t seen a shop yet with a plate-gla.s.s front, and not a single pillar-box!"

"Poor sort of place for Suffragettes, what?" observed Clarence.

"Frivolity apart, Clarence," remarked the Queen, "I can see already that there is much to be done here before the country can be called really civilised. We must set ourselves to raise the standard by introducing modern ideas--enlighten people"s minds, and all the rest of it. And you must do _your_ share, Sidney, as I shall do mine."

"Certainly," said the King; "I"m agreeable. All for progress myself.

Always have been.... I fancy that must be our Palace up there. A truly palatial residence--replete, I"ve no doubt, with every convenience we can require."

The State Coach, after making a leisurely circuit of the two sides of the princ.i.p.al square, was now beginning the ascent of the steep zigzag road to the Palace, which stood on the terraced height of the plateau that commanded the city. The party in the coach caught glimpses of its ma.s.sive but ornate towers with fantastic spires and turrets, and its great arched and columned wings of rose-tinted marble. As it was rather larger than Windsor Castle, King Sidney"s commendation was fairly justified.

But Queen Selina"s mind was occupied in computing the probable number of rooms, and the maids that would be required to "do" them, while she wondered aloud whether they could possibly afford to keep such a place up.

"Depend upon it, my dear," said the King, "the--ah--State will provide an ample allowance for all our expenses. I must go into that as soon as an opportunity occurs, and find out exactly what our income will be."

Little more was said after this, as the great coach creaked and groaned slowly up the winding road, and then rolled through the golden gates into the courtyard of the Palace.

On the steps of the chief entrance were Marshal Federhelm, Baron von Eisenbanden, and the Court G.o.dmother, who, with the rest of the Royal household, had hastened on ahead to receive them. The Marshal ushered them into the Hall of Entrance, which was immense and cool. There they found the ladies and gentlemen-in-waiting drawn up in curtseying and bowing ranks. The colours of their gay costumes would have been dazzling, had they not been somewhat toned down by the subdued light from the windows, which were paned with transparent agate set in tracery of a flamboyant type. At the back rose a colossal staircase of jasper. On either side were lofty doors leading to vestibules, corridors, and reception halls.

Judged by Gablehurst standards, the general effect of the interior was hardly "home-y" or cosy enough to be perfectly satisfactory, as Queen Selina seemed to feel, for the only comment she made was: "_No_ china punch-bowl for visiting-cards, I see!"

"I say," the Crown Prince inquired of the Marshal, "who"s the small sportsman in the extinguisher hat?" he referred to an una.s.suming little man with long, lint-coloured hair and pale, prominent eyes, whose shiftiness was only partly concealed by large horn spectacles. He wore black and crimson robes embroidered in gold with Zodiacal signs. "Looks like the Editor of Old Moore"s Almanack."

"That, Sir," replied the Marshal, "is the learned Xuriel, our Astrologer Royal. Will your Majesties permit me to present him?" And, the Royal a.s.sent being given, he went across to fetch the sage.

"Xuriel, my friend," he said in his ear, with a slightly ironical intonation, "the august Sovereigns who owe their discovery to your learning and research are naturally anxious to express their acknowledgements. So come along and be presented, and perhaps you will produce a better impression if you can manage to look a little less like a hare with the ear-ache."

It was not, however, the prospect of being presented to Royalty that was disturbing the Astrologer Royal, but an unpleasant suspicion that the ex-Regent was, for some reason or other, a little annoyed with him.

"Your Majesties will be interested to hear," explained the Marshal, after making the presentation, "that Master Xuriel was at one time noted for his skill as a magician."

"My studies in Magic were never carried very far, your Majesties,"

protested the Astrologer, wriggling uncomfortably. "I--I did very little at it. And, even before it was decreed that all enchanters and sorcerers should either leave the Kingdom or take up some other profession, I had discovered that astrology was my true vocation."

"And you were right," said the Marshal heartily, "as results have shown.

And doubtless there is no truth in the rumour that you still retain some proficiency in the Black Art."

"Absolutely none, your Majesties!" the Astrologer Royal declared. "What small skill I ever possessed, I have already forgotten; all my magic spells have long since been discarded."

"So I should hope," said Queen Selina severely. "Mr. Wibber--I mean, his Majesty and I are, of course, no believers in Magic, but we are determined not to allow any superst.i.tions practices here in future--are we not, Sidney?"

"Certainly, my dear, certainly. Most undesirable. Of course, we don"t object to ordinary conjuring--anything harmless of that sort. But take my advice, Sir, and stick to Astrology for the future--much more gentlemanly pursuit!"

The Astrologer Royal promised to observe this recommendation, and just then the Court Chamberlain announced that a meal had been prepared for the Royal Family in the King"s Parlour, to which he offered to conduct them at once. And, as the lengthy business of the Coronation had given them all excellent appet.i.tes, they readily welcomed the proposal.

Princess Ruby, catching sight of Daphne in one of the groups, had begged that she might be included, which the Queen reluctantly granted as an exceptional indulgence.

Daphne would gladly have excused herself had that been possible; she was becoming painfully conscious of finding Mrs. Wibberley-Stimpson as a Queen irresistibly ludicrous. Once already that morning she had only just escaped detection, and she was horribly afraid now that something might happen which would lead her to betray herself by unseemly laughter. She could only pray inwardly that it would not, as she followed with Ruby to the King"s Parlour.

This was a lofty hall with windows opening on to the terrace; the walls were composed of great slabs of malachite, and twisted columns of the same supported a ceiling of elaborately carved pink jade. At one end was a dais, where a table was spread with what King Sidney referred to somewhat disappointedly as "a cold snack," though he did it ample justice nevertheless.

The Marshal sat on his right hand; at his back stood the Court Chamberlain, while chubby-faced little pages served cakes of bread on bended knee, and filled the golden goblets with Marchenland"s choicest wines, which the King considered "a trifle on the sour side." The Royal Household looked on from a distance--to the exquisite discomfort of the Queen.

"I really can"t enjoy my food, Sidney," she complained in an undertone, "with every mouthful I take watched by all those members of the n.o.bility!"

Suddenly she coloured with annoyance as she found she was being addressed in a gruff, strangled voice from a quarter it was difficult at first to locate. "Mr. Troitz," she demanded, "_who_ is that ill-mannered person who seems to be trying to talk to Me with his mouth full?"

"The voice, your Majesty," he replied in the most matter-of-fact tone, "appears to proceed from the boar"s head."

"How dare you try to impose on me by such a story? It"s that wretched little astrologer man. Ventriloquism and Conjuring always go together, and I"ll be bound he"s underneath the table now!... Well," she said, after she had satisfied herself by looking, "if he"s not there, he"s somewhere in the room!"

The Court Chamberlain a.s.sured her that the Astrologer Royal was not only absent, but incapable of such a liberty; it really _was_ the boar"s head that had spoken, as animals in Marchenland would on rare occasions--even after suffering decapitation.

"There was Falada, Mummy," cried Ruby eagerly. "Don"t you remember? The horse that talked poetry after its head had been cut off and nailed over the arch! Miss Heritage can tell you all about it."

But Miss Heritage could not--she was far too deeply engaged in wrestling with an inward demon of unholy mirth that threatened at any moment to gain the mastery.

The head began again. But whatever felicitations, predictions, or warning it was striving to utter were rendered practically inarticulate by a large lemon that had been unfeelingly inserted between its jaws.

"Have the boar"s head removed at once, Mr. Troitz," ordered Queen Selina. "I cannot and will not have it interrupting the conversation like this. It couldn"t happen at all in any _civilised_ country. Why, we shall have the cold tongue beginning next, I suppose!..."

It was here that poor Daphne"s demon got the upper hand.

"You seem slightly hysterical, Miss Heritage," remarked the Queen.

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