"Vanessa." She shook her head fiercely, but the gentle voice refused to be rejected. "Vanessa!" it said more sharply, and hands gripped her wrists. They pulled her own hands down, and Marcus" face swam through her tears as she stared at him in mute anguish and your fault, your fault, your fault tolled through her brain.
"You couldn"t help what happened," he said, kneeling before her walker. "No one could."
"I... I should"ve come back. Come back sooner. Gotten in here and-"
"You did come back." His voice was fierce. "My G.o.d, you came back three times! You d.a.m.n near got yourself killed coming back, and you know as well as I do that you couldn"t have retaken this system a day sooner than you actually did!"
"I should have found a way," she whispered. "There had to be a way!"
"There wasn"t," he said more softly, and her tear-soaked face pressed into his shoulder as he put his arms about her. He hugged her close, alone with her in the briefing room, and if Regs said lovers couldn"t serve together, then Regs could go to h.e.l.l. One hand stroked her red hair, and his own tears - tears of grief, of shared, irrational shame, and of anguish for the woman he loved - flowed down his cheeks as he murmured to her. "There wasn"t a way, love. I wish there had been, but there wasn"t. You did everything you possibly could - more than anyone else could ever have done - but there wasn"t a way you could stop it."
"Then what use am I?" She clung to him, and the words choked her like slivered gla.s.s.
"You didn"t stop it here," he told her, still stroking her hair, "and you didn"t stop it on Harrison, no. But you did stop it on Clements, love. And in Sarasota and Remus and New Prague and Vernon and Walker. You stopped it when you ignored me before First Sarasota. We lost fourteen million people here and in Merriweather and Erebor, but you got twenty-four million out, and you saved another hundred million in Sarasota alone."
"It"s not enough," she whispered.
"Of course it isn"t," he said gently. "It"ll never be enough. But it"s what you"ve got, and horrible as it is, it"s a magnificent achievement." She twisted in his arms with an ugly sound of vicious rejection, but he held her until her struggles eased, and he smiled through his tears.
"You"ll never see that," he told her. "Oh, Vanessa! You"re the one person in the galaxy who won"t see it, whatever I tell you. But that doesn"t change what it is... and it doesn"t change what you have to do now."
"What?" she asked hopelessly, and he kissed her ear.
"You have to go on," he said quietly. "You"ve kicked these monsters out of Justin; now you have to keep them out, and after that, you have to go on leading fleets and commanding in battles. Do you remember what you told us before K-45? About the way this war would end?" She nodded against his shoulder, and he held her tighter. "Well, you were right, and you"re going to be there to the bitter end, Vanessa Murak.u.ma. You"re going to be out in front of us, showing us it can be done, leading us - kicking us in the a.s.s and by G.o.d dragging us forward - because we need you. Because we can"t let you hand the job off to anyone who"d do it one iota less well."
"I can"t," she whispered in horror.
"You can, and you will. Not alone - trust me, there"ll be grief enough for a hundred admirals before this is over - but you"ll go on. The only way the Bugs will stop you is to kill you, love, and the only way you"ll let yourself stop will be to die, because, G.o.d help you, it"s what you have to do and because we need you so desperately."
She clung to him, and the dreadful truth of his words crushed her like the weight of the murdered world her flagship orbited. He was right. She had to go on. She couldn"t not go on, for she owed it to fourteen million ghosts, and she could not fail them again.
She drew a deep breath and nodded against his shoulder, then gave him one more fierce hug and pushed him away. She straightened in her walker and scrubbed her face like a child, wiping away her tears, and took the tissue he gave her with a watery smile. She blew her nose and took another breath, then turned her walker towards the hatch without another word.
Her staff was waiting on Flag Bridge. They needed her to tell them this holocaust was a triumph, and Marcus was right, G.o.d help her. It was a triumph. She knew it was - now she simply had to make herself believe it and transmit that belief to her officers.
It sounded so simple for something so agonizingly hard, yet she had no choice, and as the briefing room hatch hissed open, Vice Admiral Vanessa Murak.u.ma smiled at her staff while her walker carried her forward into the ashes of victory.
Chapter Twenty-one.
The Xenologists" Best Guess
"... so they"ve authorized a complete resurvey." Marcus LeBlanc grimaced on Murak.u.ma"s terminal. Her own expression mirrored his, and not simply because of what he was saying. Marcus had been recalled to Nova Terra as Ivan Antonov"s resident Bug expert before she was out of that d.a.m.nable walker, and she resented it. Not that she"d been about to explain to Ivan the Terrible that his desire to "frock" Commodore LeBlanc to rear admiral and a.s.sign him critically important duties had put a monumental kink in her love life!
She felt her grimace smooth into a small, fond smile. At least Antonov had let her keep Marcus until Estelle Abernathy was fully up to speed as his replacement. They"d had time to say a lot of things that needed saying... and for her to begin to accept that just perhaps Marcus was right. Given the challenge she"d faced, perhaps she hadn"t done too badly.
She realized the letter had gone on playing while she gathered wool, and she ran it back.
"... resurvey," Marcus said again. "Of course, it"s kind of hard to blame them, but just between us, Admiral Antonov considers it pure PR. The Justin death toll hit civilian morale hard, and a lot of other worlds seem convinced there could be an unknown Bug warp point right next door to them, as well. This way the Powers That Be can convince the electorate they"re Doing Something to keep them safe."
He grimaced again, then sighed.
"Maybe I"m being too cynical. Lord knows a lot of survey data needs updating - some of it"s over two hundred years old - and just one unplotted warp point near any core world could make what happened to Justin look like a pillow fight. The problem is, any points like that are almost certain to be closed, or we"d have found them by now. And if they are closed, we"re not going to find them anyway, and all the ships we"ve got busy looking for them could be better employed pushing out into unexplored s.p.a.ce to find a flank route into Bug s.p.a.ce."
He paused for a moment, then shrugged.
"Still and all, we might as well spend our time doing that. We"re still gearing up, and it"s going to be a while before we"re ready to mount any offensives. And speaking of gearing up, you should see what the Nova Terra yards are turning out! I haven"t been out to Galloway"s Star, but I hear the yards out there are working even harder. It"s going to be a while yet before you start seeing much new construction out there at the sharp end, love, but when you do, it"ll knock your vac suit off. The new a.s.sault carriers are beautiful, and R&D"s pulled out all the stops to get the new shields and armor into service. Well, you know they have, of course. By the time you screen this, you"ll have started seeing some of the refits."
He paused and leaned back, smiling into the pickup.
"Enough shop talk - we"ve got more important things to discuss. And I wish we could "discuss" them directly. You remember that little hotel at Crawford"s Point here on Nova Terra? The one where we spent midterm break? Well, it"s still there, and I"ll be d.a.m.ned if old Matsuoka isn"t still running the place! I mentioned you to him, and he remembers our visit - or pretends he does, anyway. In fact, he"s invited us back if you ever get a long enough leave." He wiggled his eyebrows in his very best leer, and Murak.u.ma surprised herself with a bright, sunny laugh - the sort of laugh she hadn"t laughed since the Battle of K-45. "You"re out of that walker by now, so figure out how to get back here for a visit. You could always confer with GHQ"s planning staff or something during the day, and then during the night we could get to the important things.
"I hope you like the kimono," he continued more seriously. "n.o.biki picked it out." Murak.u.ma"s eyebrows quirked at that. She hadn"t quite had the nerve to mention Marcus to her children. They"d known him all their lives, but only as "Mother"s friend, Marcus," and if they got the notion she was picking up an old affair which had predated her love for their father- "She gave me a pretty hard time when she handed it over," Marcus went on with a wry grin. "Seems she and Fujiko think we"re a bit slow - due to our extreme old age, no doubt. According to n.o.biki, they"ve had a pool going on how long you"d take getting back together with Oji-san Marcus for over ten years now!"
"Attention on deck!"
The a.s.sembled officers rose as Murak.u.ma, Anaasa, Saakhaanaa, and Force Leader Darnash entered Euphrates" largest briefing room. The hatch was a tight fit for Darnash, and Murak.u.ma had been prepared to allow him and his staff to attend the conference electronically. Not only was the briefing room claustrophobically confining for someone his size, but his clear, globular helmet, while a masterpiece of engineering, didn"t look any too comfortable.
Yet Darnash had politely refused the offer. He was one of her officers; he would attend her meetings, and do so in person. That, as far as he was concerned, was that.
Now the ma.s.sive Gorm made his cautious way around the table to the spot where two chairs had been replaced with a Gorm-style couch and lowered himself onto its saddle with every indication that he was completely at ease.
Murak.u.ma gave him a small smile as he settled into position, then looked at her other officers. The haunted desperation which had been so much a part of earlier meetings had eased. Most of her officers - human and non - still looked grim, but they"d smashed a Bug fleet, driven the enemy from Justin, and held it without more than half-hearted sparring at the warp point for over three months. More to the point, the fortresses on the Sarasota side of the warp point had been reinforced to the point of near impregnability, and every single noncombatant had been evacuated. They could afford to fight their kind of battle if - when - the Bugs tried a comeback, and if they had to, retreat entirely out of the system without abandoning civilians to the enemy. It was, Murak.u.ma thought more grimly, a sign of the sort of war this was that knowing they could "afford" to give up a star system with three habitable planets was actually a source of relief.
"All right, ladies and gentlemen," she said. "As you know, we"ve just received our first echelon of refitted TFN starships, and Rear Admiral Teschman brought along GHQ"s latest update. My staff has evaluated it, and I"d like to begin with their reports. Captain Mackenna?"
"Yes, Sir." Leroy Mackenna stood behind the lectern against the briefing room"s after bulkhead and brought up a huge holographic chart of the local warp lines.
"As you know, ladies and gentlemen, we now hold Sarasota in strength," he said, and the Sarasota System blinked. "As of this morning, we have fifty-two OWPs on the warp point, with a total fighter strength in excess of two thousand, and the minefields and energy platforms are being heavily reinforced on an ongoing basis. In short, we may now consider our rear secure."
a.s.suming, Murak.u.ma thought, that anything is "secure" where Bugs are concerned.
"With that in mind, GHQ has reconfirmed our basic mission profile. Until we"ve fully reequipped with updated units, we"re to stand on the defensive, retaining control of the Justin System, but we are authorized and directed to fall back on Sarasota rather than risk heavy losses. My understanding is that the fact that we can fall back is the reason we have not yet been more heavily reinforced. Our current strength is sufficient for a fighting withdrawal against any opponent, and GHQ"s decision to send us only refitted units rather than committing additional unrefitted ones will impose an unavoidable delay on offensive ops."
One or two officers frowned, but Murak.u.ma wasn"t one of them. Like any CO, she wanted as many ships as she could get, yet GHQ had a point. Fifth Fleet"s order of battle now counted thirty-four fleet carriers and twelve CVLs, backed by thirty-two superdreadnoughts, eleven battleships, and thirty-four battlecruisers. That was sufficient, given their monopoly on fighters, for any deep-s.p.a.ce engagement, and she was entirely in favor of refitting the ships she would have to lead into battle. The new third-generation shields and advanced armors had been available even before the war - they simply hadn"t been fitted because the civilians had balked at the cost. Now they were being fitted... and now the same civilians who"d screamed about the cost were screaming about the Navy"s "inexcusable" delay in not having fitted them earlier!
Well, I can live with their stupidity as long as they let me have ships that can survive, she thought with a trace of bitterness. And thank G.o.d they agreed to reconfigure the Belleisles!
That refit was the most drastic so far proposed, and her own recommendations had been the deciding factor. None had come forward yet - the refitted battleships she"d so far received had simply been given shield and armor upgrades - but the Belleisle-Bs would give up their entire energy armament for a ma.s.sed battery of standard missile launchers. They couldn"t live in close combat with Bug superdreadnoughts anyway, and while they would still lack the range of the capital missile-armed ships, they"d be able to lay down devastating fire from outside the enemy"s effective energy envelope. And if they were forced to close-range combat, a broadside of twenty-four sprint-mode missiles with AAM warheads would take the starch out of any opponent.
"- in the meantime," Mackenna was saying, and she shook herself back to attention, "given the civilian death toll in Justin, GHQ has concluded there are no survivors in any of the Bug-occupied systems between here and Indra, and Admiral Antonov has no intention of sacrificing warships - and lives - to retake empty real estate. Fifth Fleet"s function thus becomes that of holding Justin as our forward point of contact and as a security buffer for Sarasota while our accelerated survey activities seek additional points of contact. According to the theoretical astrophysics sections of both the Terran and Orion survey commands, the odds are high that we"ll find some, given the general pattern of the warp lines in this sector. Should we do so, it will give us a second axis of advance and force the Bugs to divide their forces against more than one threat. Should we fail to do so," Mackenna"s voice turned much grimmer, "we"ll have no option but to reinforce Justin to the maximum possible extent and attack from here."
He said no more on that point, but every officer present knew how hideous casualties would be if the Alliance had to hammer straight ahead down a single, predictable line of advance.
"With your permission, Admiral," Mackenna continued with a glance at Murak.u.ma, "I"ll turn the lectern over to Commander Abernathy for a few moments, then let Commander Cruciero bring us up to date on our own dispositions."
Murak.u.ma nodded - exactly, she thought, as if we hadn"t discussed it ahead of time - and the newly promoted lieutenant commander who"d replaced LeBlanc as her staff spook rose. She looked ridiculously young - like a golden-haired schoolgirl in uniform - and her hands fidgeted a bit as she faced the briefing room full of senior officers, but her voice was clear and level.
"Admiral LeBlanc and the GHQ intelligence staff have put together a comprehensive briefing on the results of their examination of the material captured here in Justin," she began. "I"ve prepared copies of their complete download for each of you, so I"ll simply hit the high points here. Please stop me if you have any questions."
"First, we"ve finally gotten some feel for the Bugs" technology. For the most part, they"re somewhat behind us, as we"d surmised. That"s the good news. The bad news is that they aren"t far behind us. Based on known rates of R&D for our own races, GHQ estimates they"ll need no more than eight months to duplicate our command datalink, even a.s.suming they captured no intact installations to give them a leg up in any previous engagement."
A stir went through the briefing room. Not of surprise - it was a given that the Bugs realized how much their cruder datalink hurt them and were working to redress the balance - but at the thought of losing their greatest advantage in a missile engagement.
"The most puzzling aspect of the captured material, however, concerns the enemy"s databases," Abernathy went on. "As you know, we secured several intact computers, both here and from destroyed enemy fleet units and dispatched them to Centauri, where Allied technicians and xenologists could examine them properly."
What Abernathy meant, Murak.u.ma reflected, was that they"d been sent back to let Orion techs at them. In general terms, Terran hardware tended to be the best in s.p.a.ce, but the Tabbies persistently - and irritatingly, for some humans - produced the galaxy"s best cyberneticists. If anyone could tickle the Bug computers into giving up their data, it was the Whisker-Twisters.
"Unfortunately," Abernathy said, "they"ve been unable to generate any meaningful output. They-" She paused as Anaasa raised a clawed hand. "Yes, Fang Anaasa?"
"They have generated no output?" The Orion demanded. "None at all?"
"I didn"t say that, Sir. I said they"ve been unable to generate any meaningful output. They"re convinced they"re generating something, but no one"s been able to figure out what it is."
"That"s preposterous," Waldeck muttered. His face reddened as he realized he"d spoken aloud, and he shrugged. "What I mean is, if they"re generating anything at all, the xenologists should be able to make something of it. They"ve got enough filters and computers to run it through, after all - and surely some of it is simple visual imagery!"
"I"m sorry, Sir, but it isn"t - visual imagery, I mean," Abernathy said respectfully. "So far as anyone can tell, it"s just so much electronic noise." Waldeck looked at her like a man who wanted to disbelieve, and she shrugged. "According to Admiral LeBlanc, Doctor Linokovich of the Xenology Inst.i.tute hypothesizes that they"re telepathic, and medical forensics may offer some corroboration. According to the autopsies, the Bugs are mute."
"Telepathic?" Carlotta Segram stared at Abernathy, then shook her head. "This is like some bad holodrama. You"re telling us these things are mind readers, too?"
"No, Sir. That"s the point. As you know, we"ve never been able to demonstrate reliable telepathy in humans. The Gorm -" she nodded to Darnash "- do have a telempathic sense, but though their minisorchi talent"s existence has been conclusively demonstrated, no other race has ever been able to perceive it. The current theory is that the Bugs operate on a unique mental "frequency" which they"ve managed to convert into electronic storage. Our problem is that we simply can"t "see" it. As Admiral LeBlanc puts it, we"re like blind people trying to understand pink. But at least if we can"t read their records, it seems unlikely they can read ours."
"I wouldn"t bet on that," Admiral Rendova murmured. "Our data outputs are all some form of visual information, and mute or not, we know these things have eyes."
Abernathy started to reply, but Murak.u.ma"s raised hand stopped her.
"That"s certainly a point to bear in mind, Ellen. For now, however, all of this can only be considered an unproved theory. We"ll just have to stick to our standard procedures for purging all databases which may fall into enemy hands and hope."
Rendova nodded soberly, and Murak.u.ma waved for Abernathy to resume.
"For the moment," the lieutenant commander said, "the most immediate consequence is that, despite all the data we"ve apparently captured, we"ve been unable to learn a thing about the enemy except by direct observation. We still have no idea how large his imperium is, how his warp lines are laid out, or what his ultimate industrial and military potentials are. What we do know is that the Bugs aren"t organized like any other species any of our races have ever met. They seem much more specialized by function, for example. The medical teams report distinct physiological differences between what GHQ is calling "the warrior caste" and the other Bugs we encountered on Justin and Harrison. The "warriors" are larger, stronger and tougher than the "workers," almost as though they were genetically engineered for combat."
"Lord! It gets stranger and stranger." Segram sighed. "Is GHQ saying they really are bugs? That we"re up against some kind of hive race? Some sort of communal "over mind"?"
"GHQ doesn"t think so." Abernathy shook her head. "Our own ground forces" observation indicates they react as individuals. Not as individuals of any race we"ve previously met, perhaps, but still as individuals. The med teams" best guess - and it"s only a guess, at this point - is that this species preselects individuals for societal roles at a very early point in life. It would appear the species differentiates physically as some Old Terran insects do: if fed one diet, they become workers; fed another they become warriors. If that"s true and their society does preselect for function, then presumably it feeds them the diet and tailors their training to enable them to fill their selected roles most efficiently. The xenologists tend to agree, especially since both the "warriors" and "workers" we"ve seen so far are neuters. Xenology"s best hypothesis to explain the Bugs" tactics is that this race has taken specialization to an unprecedented height. The only function of their warriors appears to be to fight; they have no other value to the race, since they can"t procreate. That doesn"t require that they be part of any "hive mind," and it doesn"t prevent them from being imaginative - as they demonstrated in their Third Justin tactics - but it does mean they may regard themselves as completely expendable in the interest of their race."
"Perhappps they are notttt necessssarily unimaginatttive," Admiral Saakhaanaa put in, "yett they woulddd appearrr to acttt a.s.s ifff they are."
"They certainly seem to stick to a plan once they"ve made one," Waldeck agreed.
"True, but they"re not unique in that," Murak.u.ma pointed out. "Humans are pretty flexible, but there"ve been enough humans who insisted on "sticking to the plan" even when it obviously wasn"t working. Think about the j.a.panese military in World War Two - or the Communists in the old Soviet Union, or the "social engineers" the West turned out in the twentieth century. Every one of them rode "the plan" down in flames instead of changing it."
The various Allied officers looked puzzled, but they let it pa.s.s when Waldeck nodded. After all, everyone knew Humans were the galaxy"s most complicated - and confusing - race.
"At any rate," Abernathy concluded, "research is continuing. No one expects any sudden breakthroughs, but anything they do come up with will be pa.s.sed on to us as soon as possible."
"And in the meantime, we"ll be the main laboratory," Murak.u.ma agreed. She nodded for Abernathy to be seated and glanced at Cruciero. "Ernesto?"
The ops officer replaced Abernathy at the lectern and punched up a fresh hologram, this one a detailed breakdown of Fifth Fleet"s order of battle.
"As you see, ladies and gentlemen," he began, "we"re in much better shape these days, and GHQ informs us that industrial rationalization is proceeding as planned. Within another three months, Terran industry will be turning out expendable munitions - missiles and mines - designed for universal compatibility. Within another six, we"ll be producing launchers and energy weapons which can be mounted aboard any unit of any Allied navy, as well. We"ll pay a slight ma.s.s penalty for the additional control runs, but it should simplify our logistics tremendously."
Everyone nodded - or whatever his or her race used to indicate agreement - though there were some slightly sour expressions. The non-human officers found it irritating that Terran industrial productivity eclipsed their own by such an enormous margin that the Federation was the logical a.r.s.enal of the Alliance. Concentrating only on shipbuilding while the Federation produced their weapons would vastly simplify their own problems, but some of them - and particularly the Orions - resented humanity"s industrial dominance. Yet some of the humans in the briefing room - like Leroy Mackenna - looked almost equally disgusted, for it was the industrial might of the Corporate Worlds which made it possible. Fringers like Mackenna might be grateful that capacity existed, but that made them no less angry over how the Corporate Worlds had manipulated the Federation"s economy and laws to create it.
"In the meantime," Cruciero went on, "our own posture remains unchanged. As you can see from the holo, the Seventh Battle Squadron-"
He went on speaking, and Vanessa Murak.u.ma tipped her chair back, expression attentive. The big news of the briefing had already been presented; all that remained now was the discussion of the nuts and bolts and their chance to display their confidence to one another. Those things were important, of course, and she would give them her full attention when the time came, but now, as Cruciero reported details she already knew only too well, she let herself concentrate on planning her next letter to Marcus.
Chapter Twenty-two.
"What are those things?"
Vice Admiral Murak.u.ma closed her eyes and held the saki cup between her palms to inhale its sharp aroma. She"d been a sad disappointment to Tadeoshi"s parents, despite her determined efforts to understand their culture. They"d welcomed her as warmly as they could, yet they"d never quite been able to forget she was gaijin. The fact that she"d asked them to raise her daughters after Tadeoshi"s death rather than drag them from duty post to duty post with her had helped, but still that slight taint of the foreign barbarian lingered in their eyes.
Which made her father-in-law"s gift all the more precious, for she knew how hard they"d tried to accept her... and how difficult that had been.
She opened her eyes and raised the cup to the holocube - the one of a laughing Tadeoshi on the Brisbane flight line - and then to the sheathed katana thirty generations of Murak.u.ma samurai had borne. That blade was only in her keeping, to be pa.s.sed to n.o.biki on her thirtieth birthday as Tadeoshi had requested, and her eyes misted as they rested upon it. Then she sipped, and the saki burned down her throat, seeming to evaporate before it ever reached her stomach.
She savored the fiery taste which had come five hundred light-years from the planet Musashi. It was fitting that it should have been bottled on a planet named for j.a.pan"s greatest samurai, for she drank it in remembrance of warriors. Of her husband, who"d died training for the battles he never fought, and of those who"d perished in the First Battle of Justin one year ago today.
She sipped again, alone with the holocube and the sword which represented so much, and promised herself that blade would go to her daughter with its honor unstained.
"They"re up to something." Mackenna frowned across the conference table at Murak.u.ma. "I know they"re up to something."
"Demosthenes?" Murak.u.ma said, and the Corporate World admiral shrugged.
"Leroy"s right," he said, and Mackenna nodded vigorously. Interesting, she thought. Once it was only "Captain Mackenna" and "Admiral Waldeck." I wonder if either of them even realizes how much his att.i.tude has changed? "They"re burning too many pinnaces probing us," Waldeck continued, "and I can only think of one reason to do that."
"With all due respect, Admiral Waldeck, I"m not certain we can a.s.sume that," Ernesto Cruciero said politely. "It"s been seven months since we kicked them out of the system. They haven"t made a serious attempt to take it back yet, and we know how close one of their core systems is to us. If they planned an attack here, surely they could already have reinforced to launch it, and we"ve had similar upsurges before when no attacks were launched."
"Not to this extent," Mackenna countered. "Look at it - they"ve sent three waves of fifty-plus through in just the last two weeks. The CSP killed ninety percent of them, too. Even for Bugs, that"s a lot of pinnaces to throw away if they"re not planning something!"
"I don"t categorically say they aren"t, Sir. All I"m saving is that we shouldn"t a.s.sume they are. As Admiral LeBlanc keeps saying, these things just don"t think like we do."