In Dreams

Chapter 5.1

A steaming cup of hot coffee sat on the table in front of me. The steam created a hazy cloud floating on top of the cup, and the sweet scent of coffee wafted towards me. Unfortunately, I didn’t have much of an appet.i.te in my current situation, nor could I change my uncomfortable position. Unable to move around to my desires, the coffee failed to tempt me into drinking it.  I felt like I was sitting on a cushion of pins and needles, as cold sweat began to coat my back. 

“Have a drink.”

“I’m fine.”

Anxiety began to set in as countless scenarios breezed through my mind. Dizzy from my thoughts, I screamed internally at the tension between us.

‘Aghhhhhh! Just tell me what you want, I don’t care anymore! You can swear and slap me for dirtying your lips. I won’t fight back or anything! Please, Just do whatever you want and let me go… I’ll never show up in front of you again…’

Mortified, I closed my eyes and buried my head in shame from my actions. I was a dumb pervert who couldn’t differentiate between my dreams and reality. 

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

Surprised by the sudden apology, I raised my head and looked at him. Sitting in front of me was a nervous Jung Hwanwoo, who was avoiding my eyes. 

“Although my actions were offensive, no matter how hard I tried you wouldn’t wake up. So I thought I should let you sleep and give the medicine via a kiss."

‘What…’

Recalling the kiss, I realized that his actions were what triggered my confusion today. If he hadn’t placed his lips on top of mine, then we wouldn’t be in this awkward state. Of course, if I had been conscious, then it would be impossible to deem his actions as an intimate kiss. But while I’m half asleep, a normal judgement of the event would be difficult. Despite this….

“No, this is my mistake.”

Despite my nervous state, my words were delivered calmly. I slowly straightened my back and raised the cup towards my lips. Taking my first sip, the warm fragrant coffee spilled into my mouth and calmed my mind. 

“Let’s just say we"re both to blame.”

“Well then, let’s do as you say.”

He awkwardly replied and smiled at me. I nodded in response, but I couldn’t relax as more thoughts roamed my mind. He had apologized too quickly and did not act as he normally did towards me. I couldn’t help but wonder if he planned on taking revenge in the future. Lost in thought, I held the cup near my mouth and continued to sip the coffee.

“Are… Are you gay?”

“Pffffft!”

Shocked by his question, I almost dropped the cup from my hand and spewed the liquid in my mouth. My eyes widened in disbelief. I couldn’t believe that he had asked that. He asked me if I… what? If I am gay? 

I glanced towards Jung Hwanwoo and noticed that his facial expression was unreadable. He was calm as if he had not asked me something absurd. Seeing my shocked face and lack of response, he furrowed his eyebrows and slightly pouted. 

“This, why, why do you ask this…”

I stuttered in response.

‘Aw man, I stuttered too much! I sound like a guilty criminal who is trying to hide his crimes…’

In remorse, I lectured myself silently at how dumb I sounded. Jung Hwanwoo opened his mouth and broke my line of thought.

“It’s just that your response to my kiss was instinctual. Even though you know you’re on a man’s bed…”

Silence followed after his statement. He awkwardly scratched his neck and backtracked his initial thoughts. 

“It’s fine, I don’t want to intrude on your private matters. I understand if you refuse to answer my question.”

Although his tone held hints of sarcasm, I felt comforted over it. Hearing the typical tone of voice he tended to give me brought forth warm feelings to me. I felt rea.s.sured that he had not caught onto my confusion, nor did he blame me for anything. 

“Don’t worry about it. Those in this field tend to have an open mind towards others’ s.e.xualities. Compared to them, narrow-minded individuals don’t survive as long.”

Although he sounded nonchalant about it, Jung Hwanwoo’s eyes were sharp. They shone with expectations for my response as if he was hoping I confessed. I bit my lip and pondered over the possibility that he was gay.

‘If someone fed you medicine via their mouths, then would that person be gay or is this something normal? Was he just trying to be helpful?’

Confused by his actions, I stood up and replied.

“I’ll leave you alone; I’ve caused you enough trouble.”

I gathered my belongings and politely bowed towards him, apologizing for the odd scenario we were in. Jung Hwanwoo sat still and did not acknowledge my bow. His lack of response slightly irritated me, so I raised my head and looked at him. He appeared lost in thought, mumbling inaudibly to himself. Noticing that he was distracted, I attempted to leave his house as quietly as possible. It was only after I closed the door that I heard his voice.

“Goodbye.”