In Fashion

Chapter 33

No Such Thing as Superficial

Woody Allen has said that showing up is 90 percent of life. I"d adapt that statement in one critical way to fit our fashionista world: Showing up looking chic and appropriate is 90 percent of fashion.

All of this seems terrifically obvious to me now, but I was paralyzed on the style front when I started out. Hopefully my years of conscious observation can now help you to get it right. So here it goes: an annoyingly specific guide to the personal care, grooming, feeding, and dressing of a well-put-together creative professional whose future is bright.

Clothes: The Essential First-Year Wardrobe

I will spell out for you the perfect wardrobe to get you through year 1 in a creative work setting. (These guidelines are a bit different for Visualizers, whose work settings often take them outside of the office.) The premise here is that you are working hard, living off your own salary, keeping your head down, and not trying to wage a clothing compet.i.tion with the designer, fashion director, or editor in chief. What I"m suggesting is a very limited wardrobe. A uniform. Pulling this off well takes a lot more style than an excess of expensive (or inexpensive) clothing.

First, make this commitment to yourself: What you wear in all other aspects of your life and what you wear to work occupy two completely separate compartments. In a perfect world, you"d have two closets. In your imperfect teeny apartment, make one part of your closet for your work world only. This simple organizational act will speed getting dressed in the morning, help you in the proper care and maintenance of your clothes, and make downtime feel all the more delicious. So, everything else discussed here is your professional wardrobe, okay?

THE ESSENTIALS.

Black trousers-one cotton or linen pair for summer and one wool gabardine pair for winter Black, gray, or navy pencil skirt (to the knee) Black V-neck sweater Gray cardigan Crisp white blouses Black and white cotton tanks and tees Tailored black coat to knee Cla.s.sic tan or white trench coat Warm dark-colored parka that covers your derriere White jeans (pressed, no stains, proper fitting, not the ones you wear out for a burger with friends) Cute, cheap rain boots WHERE TO PUT YOUR $$$.

One great pair of high simple black sandals.

One great pair of midheel black or brown suede boots.

One great bag. Here something vintage borrowed from your mother or grandmother would be tres cool, like an old Vuitton, Gucci, or Chanel; otherwise, use a not-so-$$$ vintage bag you find at a vintage store or flea market.

Black or gold ballet flats: Chanel, Tory Burch, or J. Crew, or any cute knock-off brand.

THE CARE AND FEEDING OF SHOES.

Before even wearing your new shoes, take them to a reputable shoe repair shop (Shoe Service Plus on Fifty-sixth Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenues is the best in Manhattan) to have black rubber half soles glued to the bottom of your soles. Otherwise, one giant rainstorm, and they"ll be mush. I have had Manolo black suede boots for twelve years. Proper upkeep, and by this I mean maniacal care, ensures that my boots always look brand new. Told you I was a nerd.

Accessories

If you are starting out, I"d strongly urge you to keep it simple even in the accessory department. Skinny hoop earrings always look right. A good gold or silver watch is a necessity. The most basic badge of responsibility is a watch: Always wear a watch when you are working. Pearls can work if the rest of your look isn"t too prim. Save serious bling-diamonds, fake diamonds, and heavy-duty gold necklaces-for another part of your life. It"s distracting in the workplace.

It"s cool to inject your look with one shot of surprising color via belt, bag, T-shirt, and shoes. Add something a little jarring to catch the eye, like magenta, forsythia yellow, silver, or lilac.

PAYBACK FOR KEEPING THINGS SUPERSIMPLE FROM THE START.

You won"t look like a fool.

You won"t blow money on stuff that you"ll never wear.

You won"t create the impression that you are privileged or an air-head or a fashion victim.

You will look really smart and pulled together.

You will be able to make slight adjustments in your look as you adapt to the official office look.

You will slowly gain access to sample sales and other means of acquiring Important Items for not a lot of money. Take advantage by picking up a bag, jacket, or trousers. Add item by item to your wardrobe, making sure it is something that works with your core stuff.

You can start to comb vintage shops for cool, inexpensive add-ons.

Don"t Forget the Fit of Your Clothes

Most people buy clothing, wear it, tire of it, then throw it out or give it away. The entire process may take less than six months. It"s high-speed consumption.

I believe in making clothes mine. I tailor anything that doesn"t fit exactly the way I"d like it to. This is time-consuming and costly, but it is really the right way to go. The difference between a shoulder that fits and one that flops, or a skirt that hugs your hips just so and one that drably hangs too wide, is substantial. Inexpensive clothing, like something from Zara or H&M, can look instantly more expensive if it fits you properly.

RULES TO DISREGARD.

Don"t wear black and navy together. Actually, black and navy together is chic. Red and brown or camel is another cool combo.

Horizontal stripes make you look fat. No, they don"t. Fat makes you look fat.

Wear white only in the summer. This rule flopped over and died long ago. Whatever the season, it"s smart to have a pair of white trousers that work.

Your bags and shoes should match. Not so. Matching bags and shoes is almost always a bad idea, and it shows a total lack of style.

Match whenever possible. This is no longer a good idea. Dressing "outfitty" in general-stockings to match a color in your blouse, blouse to skirt to sweater-looks 1980s department-store-style daft.

Wear glitter at night, not during the day. Such traditional rules about daytime and nighttime dressing have fallen as well. It"s cool to wear a little sparkle by day and almost always cooler to underdress by night.

You shouldn"t wear the same thing twice in one week. Forget that rule. When a fashionista loves something, she lives in it and lets it define her.

RULES TO FOLLOW.

Don"t wear a suit jacket with its pants or skirt at the same time unless it"s a very proper or dressy event. In fact, a dark suit or velvet suit with a shimmery blouse is a great black-tie, tuxedo type of look.

Don"t wear a tight top with a tight bottom-only one half can be tight; otherwise you risk looking tarty.

Don"t leave the house until you feel good about what you"re wearing.

Plan tomorrow"s look today to lessen the stress of putting an outfit together in the morning.

Underwear Matters

So do your socks. In the course of a day at a retailer, designer label, or fashion magazine, you could easily be asked to whip off your clothes to try on some look or another. Just keep it simple and clean.

THE TRICKY BALANCE.

I do not wish you to be a lemming, trying to imitate the behavior and habits of those around you. Nor do I wish for you to be the target of mean sketches or sidelong glances-that is, the innuendo that says, "She really does not get it." You have to find your way between these two extremes.

Too tan skin = you vacation too much = you spend free time and $$ at the tanning salon.

Too white teeth = tacky and blinding to the eye = you don"t see what"s wrong? = you don"t have a good eye.

No moveable facial parts = Botox OD = you"re not comfortable with yourself.

Too small nose = you hated yourself as a teen and/or your mother hated your face as a teen = plastic surgeon overdid it.

Leg Cover

Bare, tan, moisturized, skinny legs are always good. Fishnets come and go, but black and tan shades in as-small-as-possible diamonds always look good. Opaque black tights, plain or with texture, are better than sheer. Footless tights with ballet slippers work if you are under thirty regardless of how fit you are. Sheer nude shades always look stupid.

Manicures

Yes. A $10 Occasional Habit + Home Touch-Ups. I"d never attend an important meeting without first having a manicure. And interviewers are trained to notice nails. Does she gnaw her cuticles? Are the nails so long she couldn"t possibly type? French manicures telegraph "tacky." Red is good for a midlevel job, but it might send the message that an a.s.sistant spends too much time on upkeep. Nails and hand gestures say everything about the girl: Is she nervous? Conniving? Hyper? Recently engaged? Unkempt? Unhygienic? Secure? Confident? Together?

The no-brainer shade of choice: something like Ballet Slipper, Sugar Daddy, Pretty in Pink, or simple clear polish. English people think they can do these things themselves at home. Maybe you can do it, but I don"t even try. Take the twelve minutes and spend the $10.

It"s standard practice at cheap nail salons to cut clients" cuticles, but if you can avoid having your cuticles cut, you"ll be better off in the long run. Say "push back, don"t cut." Establish a relationship with "Kelly" at the corner nail salon. Ask her real name. Remember it, and she"ll remember you. Be nice and tip well ($2 to $3 on $10 manicure).

Hair

Long straight hair is not a style. Call it "natural" if it makes you feel better. It is de rigueur for interviewing at Apple or Google or for freelancing at home in Seattle for a software company. It is also okay for the Peace Corps, Vanderbilt Medical School, or the Iowa writers" MFA program. It is not fine for the real creative business world where looks matter.

If you cannot afford a good salon, find out which is the best salon in your area. Then call there and ask when it conducts its "training" nights. You"ll get a great cut for next to nothing with the top guys overseeing everything.

Pedicures

This is a monthly salon ritual for the six months when you"re not wearing sandals and a twice-monthly ritual for the six months you are.

Best to skip polish altogether over the dormant season to let your toenails breathe, losing any yellowish tinge constant polishes create. Always keep toenails short and square (long toenails are beyond gross!). Unlike your hands, where strong color can be distracting, you can have fun with toe color-dark red, pink red, blue red, orange red-and color always makes the foot look happy. "Notice me!" your little toenails scream.

SERENITY-INDUCING FASHIONISTA SOAK.

You"ve had a tough day? Endured the wrath of a Super b.i.t.c.h while your boyfriend broke up with you via e-mail? Feel a cold or flu coming on? Pour a whole box of Epsom salts and two giant bottles of hydrogen peroxide into the hottest bath water you can stand. Soak for fifteen minutes. You"ll thank me later.

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