DAVID.
"No, Daddy! No!"
Chai Yenn screamed all the way through the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. And then she screamed all the way through Sleeping Beauty"s castle. Like a frantic, human growth on David"s hip, she couldn"t be quieted until at last they were outside of the dark, scary castle and back into the bright California sun.
The crowds of people milling through the castle gateway were no help as the frightened little girl clung to David in sheer terror, gulping back tears at the wonderful, horrible place. He stroked her hair as he soothed Chai in the circle of his arms. At last her screams reduced to sobbing hiccups. She peeked out from the safety of her hands and fingers. Nancy and his four boys sat with him.
"Maybe it would be better if I sat here with Chai for awhile." David studied his wife"s impa.s.sive face across the table. "You and the boys go on some rides and have fun. We"ll catch up in an hour or two."
Nancy Tao"s eyes were unreadable behind her sungla.s.ses. "I have a better idea. The boys and I will be right back." And with that, she was gone.
David and Nancy"s four boys were Michael, age ten; Nathan, age eight; Ryan, age six; and the baby, Matthew, age two. And maybe it was the difference in gender, but ever since David and Nancy had brought five-year-old Chai Yenn into their home, the boys had turned into either her protectors or her slaves. No sibling rivalry had presented itself yet, but the continual jousting and compet.i.tion among the boys to see who could make her smile first, or who could bring her a treat before another brother thought of it was an interesting phenomenon to watch. Even now, as Nancy walked away with Ryan and Matt"s hands in hers, three of the boys were waving at their little sister, trying to get her attention. She finally waved back with both hands.
"Are you feeling better?" he asked her in soft Mandarin.
Chai nodded, looking around with wide, wondering eyes. He rarely spoke to her in anything but English, preferring that she acclimate as quickly as possible. But today was different. The whole Disneyland adventure had not proven to be one of his brighter ideas. So far, all he"d done was traumatize the very one he"d hoped to please.
After sitting for a few minutes, he scooped her up and walked with her still clinging like a baby orangutan to his side. Her nightmare was over, but apparently she could not transition to normal life yet. The oddest things frightened her. Extension cords. Matthew"s trike. Even yogurt held a sad story he could not yet fathom. Who knew what this little one had seen and lived through? He truly wished he did. Maybe then he could erase them one by one.
They stopped to watch the carousel. It might make a better ride for a little girl who"d spent the first five years of her life in an orphanage. Maybe the magical horses or laughing tigers would help her enjoy the Wonderful World of Disney. The minute he stepped into line, she screamed. They didn"t ride the carousel.
They watched the fantastical flying elephants soar overhead with their laughing child pa.s.sengers. Chai"s eyes were bright with curiosity. Maybe she"d enjoy a ride with Dumbo and his flying friends. Once again he was wrong. Her frantic screams upset the other children. They didn"t ride the flying elephants.
He patiently rearranged his daughter on his hip and turned back the way he came. Since they"d taken her to their hearts, the little girl had put on weight. Nancy could no longer carry her, especially not all day long like Chai preferred. He"d either have to rent a stroller, or she"d have to learn to walk on her own. Still fearful, she hummed to herself in what he"d come to recognize as her attempt to self-comfort.
"We"re back." Nancy tapped his shoulder.
Chai yelped when she found herself surrounded by Goofy and Donald Duck, Chip and Dale, and the beautiful Princess Mulan. Chai all but climbed up to David"s shoulder as she whined, taking in the frightening scene around her. The big furry chipmunks were so funny-looking. It was Chip who broke the ice when he offered a feather-flower to the little girl.
Scared at first, she stretched her arm as far as it would go, not letting go of her Daddy while Chip put the flower in her hand. A cautious smile tugged the corners of her mouth. He blew her a kiss. She blew him a return kiss just like she"d learned to do from her brothers, only without a smile.
Chai climbed down into David"s arms. By now, he and Nancy were seated on a rock ledge that ran the concourse to Never Neverland.
Beautiful Princess Mulan took her crown off and rested it carefully on Chai"s head. Of course, Chai pulled it right off, but she let Mulan stroke her hair. All the while, Goofy and Donald danced and partied around her. Chip and Dale persisted with their antics.
Chai Yenn planted herself squarely between David"s feet. Goofy and Donald joined her, then Chip and Dale. Soon Mickey Mouse arrived with his entourage. He sat at David"s feet. The Tao family had become a Disney attraction.
David nudged Nancy"s arm. Chai was playing pat-a-cake with Mulan. And smiling.
Nancy scooted in beside him as they watched their children cavort within the now cordoned-off area. Snow White and Cinderella arrived, along with more Disney security escorts. It was a totally unscripted party designed on the spur of the moment for a little girl who"d never seen such magical things as a fluffy duck in a sailor suit, chipmunks bigger than she was, or a mouse wearing red shorts.
"How did you arrange this?" David hugged his beaming wife, planting a kiss on the side of her very smart head.
"Easy." Nancy smiled. "The entire country knows about how you guys rescued all those orphans. I still had her adoption papers in my bag. Besides, Disney really is all about children."
He smiled past the knot in his throat. He couldn"t bring them all home, but he was eternally grateful he"d saved this particular little girl. Now Chai Yenn would live the best happily ever after life he could give her.
Chai"s brother, Ryan, pulled her to her feet while he played tag with Chip and Dale. "Come on, Chai. You can do it," he squealed.
Chip rolled on the ground, catching Chai as she ran by. He lifted her high in the air like a human airplane. She looked across the crowded s.p.a.ce at David. The smile slipped.
He waved to her. You"re safe, Chai. Don"t be afraid anymore. The world is yours for the taking. The momentary frown was replaced by the breathtaking smile of a happy little girl playing with a giant furry chipmunk. He turned his head and wiped the tear.
Nancy whispered in his ear. "You old softy."
THIRTY-FIVE.
EMBER.
The capricious wind whistled around Ember Davis as she stood in solitary vigil at the headstone of Agent Todd Chandler.
Like the soldiers they represent, the endless rows of identical white headstones marched across acres of snow-drifted lawn in reverent Arlington Cemetery. The morning stillness gave way to the first of many twenty-one-gun salutes that would sound throughout the day while honor guards a.s.signed heroes and heroines to their final posts. Solemn words would be spoken, the n.o.ble flag folded and presented. Another warrior safely home.
Yeah, right.
Ember didn"t see it that way. A wild spirit whose perspective was eternally different from the world around her, all she saw was that she stood alone. She"d recognized a kindred spirit in Todd. He was the perfect complement to her perpetually searching soul, the steadiness to her unbounded enthusiasm, and the ground wire to her stream of effervescent energy. And now he was gone. Taken from her and buried here, among all the n.o.ble dead.
Even in death, he"d conformed to the strict military code of the cemetery. He"d lived by the code he was now interred by. Interment was another unsolved puzzle for this computer genius. When her time came, her remains would be cremated, the ashes tossed high into the jet stream to be scattered at its pleasure, not left within the cold bosom of a neglectful mother earth, forgotten and alone for eternity. No. Give her the sky and its endless sunshine. Give her night stars and solar flares. Give herlight.
Give me Todd back!
Tears coursed down her reddened cheeks. It wasn"t long ago she"d shared the hope with Mother that maybejust maybeTodd was the one. He"d pestered her so much at first, almost like a younger brother who was always in her way. Finally, Ember had recognized his attention for what it was. He"d loved her at first sight, like no other before him. He just wasn"t sure how to approach her, or if she even cared. Now he was gone, consigned to death while she was left behind, consigned to life.
She cared like h.e.l.l.
So engrossed in grief, she didn"t hear the quiet footfall until her boss stood beside her. Alex. Always Alex. She didn"t understand how the man seemed to know when a member of his team was hurting. He just did.
Many times, she"d watched him shape att.i.tudes with a few words that made them stronger, more focused, or mad as h.e.l.l. She"d seen him bring comfort into mayhem just by showing up. She"d also seen him bring chaos the same way. With a glance or a word, he could build as easily as destroy. Alex was the strength and power behind The TEAM, the fiery core the rest of them moved around, like satellites in orbit around a temperamental sun.
d.a.m.n Alex.
She mopped her sleeve across her face, but if he"d noticed, he didn"t say a word. Thankfully, he honored Todd in silence, alone with his thoughts while she stood alone with hers. Did he miss Todd half as much as she did?
Another twenty-one-gun salute sounded from far across the frozen ground. Still her boss waited with her. Of course, he hadn"t come for Todd as much as he"d come for her. She didn"t want to face anyone yet. Hiding was easier. Avoiding was better. Not having to talk was the only way she made it through the day. Talking meant opening up. Letting people in. Being normal again. Although she"d had plenty to say the day of the shooting in the Sit Room, she"d gone silent again. Living alone will do that to a person. Even her fat yellow tabby, Maple Syrup, figured it out. She wanted to be left alone.
"What do you want, Alex?" she asked without turning to face him. Eye contact with this guy was not in the cards. Not today. One hint of kindness and she"d fall apart.
He didn"t answer. Alex stood ramrod straight, as always. Maybe he was still deaf; maybe he hadn"t heard the nasty tone in her question.
She gulped. Maybe he did.
"Ember?"
Squeezing her eyes against Alex was like an ostrich sticking its head in the sand. He was still here.
"What?" she ground out, angry she sounded pitiful.
When he did not speak, she faltered. Peripheral vision was no help. There was no escape. She bit her lip and faced the man she refused to call Boss. He was Alex. No better. Certainly not smarter. Just d.a.m.ned Alex and he was here and she wanted to be alone!
Those dazzling blues looked straight into her soul, and she couldn"t hide her pain. He saw her. He felt the same. And he could hear again.
"Todd was a good man," he said quietly.
Ember jerked her gaze away from that compelling blue light and sniffed the frigid air, hoping it would bring composure. It didn"t. The man beside her was made of steel, and she was melted taffy in the summer sun, all sticky and turning to goo just because he"d shown up.
"Yes," she sputtered. "He was. Todd was...a very, very good man."
"He was in the middle of a mission when everything went wrong, you know."
"I didn"t know he had a mission. He never said anything. I mean, not about any mission or anything. I mean...." Ember didn"t know what she meant anymore. Grief swelled within her ocean of pain.
"It meant a lot to him, totally his idea. I"m not surprised you didn"t know. Few agents did."
Ember straightened as she waited.
"I"d like you to finish it on his behalf, if you would."
"What? Me?"
"Only if you think you"re up for it. I know it"s a bad time."
"Are you serious? I"m not one of your snipers. It"s been a long time since I held a gun."
"Not all our missions involve guns."
The d.a.m.ned man was as powerful when he was gentle as when he was mean. It set her off balance. She didn"t know what to expect from him. Or herself.
"I know that, but...What? You came all the way out here to give me an a.s.signment? What do you want?" The fury in her heart flew out of her mouth without thought or permission. She"d come here to cry and pray in peace, not work.
d.a.m.n Alex.
Instead of answering, he put his arm around her shoulders and tilted her body toward his. She was almost as tall as he was. Still dressed in mourning with her spiked hair as black as her eyes and her clothes as wild as ever, they must"ve looked quite the sight; him with his conservative trench coat embracing a totally free and angrily rebellious spirit in the middle of a freaking cemetery!
Ember groaned. She"d locked her heart away. He had no right to test the lock. She"d come here for solitude, not redemption. Leave me alone. Not today, buddy. You can"t break me today.
"It"s okay, sweetheart."
So not fair! Of all the things to say!
For a moment, they stood like two fence posts in the Arlington winterscape: straight, stiff, and separate. The bright white snow and granite blinded her. That"s what the moisture was in her eyes. Without warning, it happened. That single gesture of gallant kindness and those gentle words filled the aching hole in her heart with something besides bottomless pain. She crumbled. The dam burst. Grief gulped out in a torrent that wouldn"t stop.
d.a.m.n you, Alex. This is your fault. You"re making me cry.
Ember leaned into him. He offered a cloth handkerchief. She shivered and wiped her raw, sore nose.
I look like a clown.
The winter wind spun flake and crystal around them in a sudden flurry that just as quickly departed, leaving them lightly frosted in its wake.
I miss him!
They stood together as the storm around and within abated.
"I"m sorry." She dabbed her eyes, the venom in her heart gone with the frozen breeze and a kind man"s touch.
"Nothing to be sorry about." He squeezed her shoulder. "Sometimes tears are all we"ve got to give the friends we"ve lost."
"It"s just that...it"s just that...."
"You loved him." Alex"s voice was more tender than she"d ever heard.
"Yeah." Ember gulped again. He read her like a book. She couldn"t even cuss him anymore. "And he loved me. He was like, all starry-eyed when he was around me. You know?"
"Everyone knew."
"And now..."
"He"s gone."
She leaned into his shoulder again, her resistance gone and her heart wide open. Alex held her tight while her pain poured out. "And I"m still here. And I hate it and I miss him and I"m still here!" she ground out, wishing she could shake some sense into the G.o.ds of karma and make them give Todd back. He wasn"t the one who was supposed to die that day. It was Zack, only she didn"t want Zack to die either. It just wasn"t fair!
Alex held her steady until she calmed again.
Ember mopped her face and tried not to wipe her nose on her boss. "It comes in waves. One minute I"m normal, and the next, I"m so mad. And I"m sorry. I don"t wish Zack was dead and I don"t hate you."
"I know." He let her lean against him, his grip strong and firm. "What will you do now?"
She ignored his question with a question of her own. "What"s the mission? What"s so important Todd couldn"t tell me?"
"I don"t think it"s that he couldn"t. I think it"s more he hadn"t found the time to tell you yet. He was going to talk with you. That much I know."
"About what?" She brushed the tears off her face. Spit it out, Alex. Then leave me alone.
"There"s a little girl at the city morgue." He reached into an inner pocket of his black trench coat. "Todd started a collection to-"
"To bury baby Jane Doe?" she finished for him. Jane Doe was the baby girl found in the Potomac around the same time Zack rescued Chai Yenn. She still rested in a stainless aluminum drawerwaiting for someone to care.
"He had this at his desk." Alex handed her a brown envelope full of bills of various denominations.