"Nonsense! If he chooses to be annoyed, that"s his business, and not mine. Now, you"ll see."
And Muller, alert for mischief, stared fixedly at the old gentleman in the opposite corner for some minutes--then sighed--roused himself as if from a profound reverie--seized his portfolio--took out a pencil and sketch-book--mended the pencil with an elaborate show of fastidiousness and deliberation--stared again--drew a deep breath--turned somewhat aside, as if anxious to conceal his object, and began sketching rapidly.
Now and then he paused; stole a furtive glance over his shoulder; bit his lip; rubbed out; corrected; glanced again; and then went on rapidly as before.
In the meanwhile the old gentleman, who was somewhat red and irascible, began to get seriously uncomfortable. He frowned, fidgeted, coughed, b.u.t.toned and unb.u.t.toned his coat, and jealously watched every proceeding of his tormentor. A general smile dawned upon the faces of the rest of the travellers. The priest over the way pinched his lips together, and looked down demurely. The two girls, next to the priest, t.i.ttered behind their handkerchiefs. The young man with the blue cravat sucked the top of his cane, and winked openly at his companions, both of whom were cracking nuts, and flinging the sh.e.l.ls down the embankment. Presently Muller threw his head back, held the drawing off, still studiously keeping the back of it towards the rest of the pa.s.sengers; looked at it with half-closed eyes; stole another exceedingly cautious glance at his victim; and then, affecting for the first time to find himself observed, made a vast show of pretending to sketch the country through which we were pa.s.sing.
The old gentleman could stand it no longer.
"Monsieur," said he, angrily. "Monsieur, I will thank you not to take my portrait. I object to it. Monsieur."
"Charming distance," said Muller, addressing himself to me "Wants interest, however, in the foreground. That"s a picturesque tree yonder, is it not?"
The old gentleman struck his umbrella sharply on the floor.
"It"s of no use, Monsieur," he exclaimed, getting more red and excited.
"You are taking my portrait, and I object to it. I know you are taking my portrait."
Muller looked up dreamily.
"I beg your pardon, Monsieur," said he. "Did you speak?"
"Yes, Monsieur. I did speak. I repeat that you shall not take my portrait."
"Your portrait, Monsieur?"
"Yes, my portrait!"
"But, Monsieur," remonstrated the artist, with an air of mingled candor and surprise, "I never dreamed of taking your portrait!"
"_Sacre non_!" shouted the old gentleman, with another rap of the umbrella. "I saw you do it! Everybody saw you do It!"
"Nay, if Monsieur will but do me the honor to believe that I was simply sketching from nature, as the train...."
"An impudent subterfuge, sir!" interrupted the old gentleman. "An impudent subterfuge, and nothing less!"
Muller drew himself up with immense dignity.
"Monsieur," he said, haughtily, "that is an expression which I must request you to retract. I have already a.s.sured you, on the word of a gentleman...."
"A gentleman, indeed! A pretty gentleman! He takes my portrait, and...."
"I have not taken your portrait, Monsieur."
"Good heavens!" cried the old gentleman, looking round, "was ever such a.s.surance! Did not every one present see him in the act? I appeal to every one--to you, Monsieur--to you, Mesdames,--to you, reverend father,--did you not all see this person taking my portrait?"
"Nay, then, if it must come to this," said Muller, "let the sketch be evidence, and let these ladies and gentlemen decide whether it is really the portrait of Monsieur--and if they think it like?"
Saying which, he held up the book, and displayed a head, sketched, it is true, with admirable spirit and cleverness, but--the head of an a.s.s, with a thistle in its mouth!
A simultaneous explosion of mirth followed. Even the priest laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks, and Dalrymple, heavy-hearted as he was, could not help joining in the general shout. As for the old gentleman, the victim of this elaborate practical joke, he glared at us all round, swore that it was a premeditated insult from beginning to end, and, swelling with suppressed rage, flung himself back into his corner, and looked resolutely in the opposite direction.
By this time we were half-way to Paris, and the student, satisfied with his success, packed up his folio, brought out a great meerschaum with a snaky tube, and smoked like a factory-chimney.
When we alighted, it was nearly five o"clock.
"What shall we do next?" said Dalrymple, pulling drearily at his moustache. "I am so deuced dull to-day that I am ashamed to ask anybody to do me the charity to dine with me--especially a _bon garcon_ like Herr Muller."
"Don"t be ashamed," said the student, laughingly, "I would dine with Pluto himself, if the dishes were good and my appet.i.te as sharp as to-day."
"_Allons_, then! Where shall we go; to the _Trois Freres_, or the _Moulin Rouge_, or the _Maison Doree_?"
"The _Trois Freres_" said Muller, with the air of one who deliberates on the fate of nations, "has the disadvantage of being situated in the Palais Royal, where the band still continues to play at half-past five every afternoon. Now, music should come on with the sweets and the champagne. It is not appropriate with soup or fish, and it distracts one"s attention if injudiciously administered with the made dishes,"
"True. Then shall we try the _Moulin Rouge_?"
Muller shook his head.
"At the _Moulin Rouge_" said he, gravely, "one can breakfast well; but their dinners are stereotyped. For the last ten years they have not added a new dish to their _carte_; and the discovery of a new dish, says Brillat Savarin, is of more importance to the human race than the discovery of a new planet. No--I should not vote for the _Moulin Rouge_."
"Well, then, Vefours, Very"s, the Cafe Anglais?"
"Vefours is traditional; the Cafe Anglais is infested with English; and at Very"s, which is otherwise a meritorious establishment, one"s digestion is disturbed by the sight of omnivorous provincials, who drink champagne with the _roti_, and eat melon at dessert."
Dalrymple laughed outright.
"At this rate," said he, "we shall get no dinner at all! What is to become of us, if neither Very"s, nor the _Trois Freres_, nor the _Moulin Rouge_, nor the _Maison Doree_...."
"_Halte-la!"_ interrupted the student, theatrically; "for by my halidom, sirs, I said not a syllable in disparagement of the house yelept Doree!
Is it not there that we eat of the crab of Bordeaux, succulent and roseate? Is it not there that we drink of Veuve Cliquot the costly, and of that Johannisberger, to which all other hocks are vinegar and water?
Never let it be said that Franz Muller, being of sound mind and body, did less than justice to the reputation of the _Maison Doree_."
"To the _Maison Doree_, then," said Dalrymple, "with what speed and appet.i.te we may! By Jove! Herr Franz, you are a _connoisseur_ in the matter of dining."
"A man who for twenty-nine days out of every thirty pays his sixty-five centimes for two dishes at a student"s Restaurant in the Quartier Latin, knows better than most people where to go for a good dinner when he has the chance," said Muller, philosophically. "The ragouts of the Temple--the _arlequins_ of the _Cite_--the fried fish of the Odeon arcades--the unknown hashes of the _guingettes_, and the "funeral baked meats" of the Palais Royal, are all familiar to my pocket and my palate.
I do not scruple to confess that in cases of desperate emergency, I have even availed myself of the advantages of _Le hasard_."
"_Le hasard_." said I. "What is that?"
"_Le hasard de la fourchette_," replied the student, "is the resort of the vagabond, the _gamin_, and the _chiffonier_. It lies down by the river-side, near the Halles, and consists of nothing but a shed, a fire, and a caldron. In this caldron a seething sea of oleaginous liquid conceals an infinite variety of animal and vegetable substances. The arrangements of the establishment are beautifully simple. The votary pays his five centimes and is armed by the presiding genius of the place with a huge two-p.r.o.nged iron fork. This fork he plunges in once;--he may get a calf"s foot, or a potato, or a sheep"s head, or a carrot, or a cabbage, or nothing, as fate and the fork direct. All men are gamblers in some way or another, and _Le hasard_ is a game of gastronomic chance.
But from the ridiculous to the sublime, it is but a step--and while talking of _Le hasard_ behold, we have arrived at the _Maison Doree_."
CHAPTER XIX.
A DINNER AT THE MAISON DOReE AND AN EVENING PARTY IN THE QUARTIER LATIN.
The most genial of companions was our new acquaintance, Franz Muller, the art-student. Light-hearted, buoyant, una.s.suming, he gave his animal spirits full play, and was the life of our little dinner. He had more natural gayety than generally belongs to the German character, and his good-temper was inexhaustible. He enjoyed everything; he made the best of everything; he saw food for laughter in everything. He was always amused, and therefore was always amusing. Above all, there was a spontaneity in his mirth which acted upon others as a perpetual stimulant. He was in short, what the French call a _bon garcon_, and the English a capital fellow; easy without a.s.surance, comic without vulgarity, and, as Sydney Smith wittily hath it--"a great number of other things without a great number of other things."