I coughed, and wondered how I might presently get away.
He invited me to smoke--that queer old practice!--and then when I declined, began talking in a confidential tone of this "dreadful business" of the strikes. "The war won"t improve THAT outlook," he said, and was very grave for a moment.
He spoke of the want of thought for their wives and children shown by the colliers in striking merely for the sake of the union, and this stirred me to controversy, and distracted me a little from my resolution to escape.
"I don"t quite agree with that," I said, clearing my throat. "If the men didn"t strike for the union now, if they let that be broken up, where would they be when the pinch of reductions did come?"
To which he replied that they couldn"t expect to get top-price wages when the masters were selling bottom-price coal. I replied, "That isn"t it. The masters don"t treat them fairly. They have to protect themselves."
To which Mr. Gabbitas answered, "Well, I don"t know. I"ve been in the Four Towns some time, and I must say I don"t think the balance of injustice falls on the masters" side."
"It falls on the men," I agreed, wilfully misunderstanding him.
And so we worked our way toward an argument. "Confound this argument!" I thought; but I had no skill in self-extraction, and my irritation crept into my voice. Three little spots of color came into the cheeks and nose of Mr. Gabbitas, but his voice showed nothing of his ruffled temper.
"You see," I said, "I"m a socialist. I don"t think this world was made for a small minority to dance on the faces of every one else."
"My dear fellow," said the Rev. Gabbitas, "I"M a socialist too.
Who isn"t. But that doesn"t lead me to cla.s.s hatred."
"You haven"t felt the heel of this confounded system. I have."
"Ah!" said he; and catching him on that note came a rap at the front door, and, as he hung suspended, the sound of my mother letting some one in and a timid rap.
"NOW," thought I, and stood up, resolutely, but he would not let me. "No, no, no!" said he. "It"s only for the Dorcas money."
He put his hand against my chest with an effect of physical compulsion, and cried, "Come in!"
"Our talk"s just getting interesting," he protested; and there entered Miss Ramell, an elderly little young lady who was mighty in Church help in Clayton.
He greeted her--she took no notice of me--and went to his bureau, and I remained standing by my chair but unable to get out of the room. "I"m not interrupting?" asked Miss Ramell.
"Not in the least," he said; drew out the carriers and opened his desk. I could not help seeing what he did.
I was so fretted by my impotence to leave him that at the moment it did not connect at all with the research of the morning that he was taking out money. I listened sullenly to his talk with Miss Ramell, and saw only, as they say in Wales, with the front of my eyes, the small flat drawer that had, it seemed, quite a number of sovereigns scattered over its floor. "They"re so unreasonable,"
complained Miss Ramell. Who could be otherwise in a social organization that bordered on insanity?
I turned away from them, put my foot on the fender, stuck my elbow on the plush-fringed mantelboard, and studied the photographs, pipes, and ash-trays that adorned it. What was it I had to think out before I went to the station?
Of course! My mind made a queer little reluctant leap--it felt like being forced to leap over a bottomless chasm--and alighted upon the sovereigns that were just disappearing again as Mr. Gabbitas shut his drawer.
"I won"t interrupt your talk further," said Miss Ramell, receding doorward.
Mr. Gabbitas played round her politely, and opened the door for her and conducted her into the pa.s.sage, and for a moment or so I had the fullest sense of proximity to those--it seemed to me there must be ten or twelve--sovereigns. . . .
The front door closed and he returned. My chance of escape had gone.
Section 4
"I MUST be going," I said, with a curiously reinforced desire to get away out of that room.
"My dear chap!" he insisted, "I can"t think of it. Surely--there"s nothing to call you away." Then with an evident desire to shift the venue of our talk, he asked, "You never told me what you thought of Burble"s little book."
I was now, beneath my dull display of submission, furiously angry with him. It occurred to me to ask myself why I should defer and qualify my opinions to him. Why should I pretend a feeling of intellectual and social inferiority toward him. He asked what I thought of Burble. I resolved to tell him--if necessary with arrogance. Then perhaps he would release me. I did not sit down again, but stood by the corner of the fireplace.
"That was the little book you lent me last summer?" I said.
"He reasons closely, eh?" he said, and indicated the armchair with a flat hand, and beamed persuasively.
I remained standing. "I didn"t think much of his reasoning powers,"
I said.
"He was one of the cleverest bishops London ever had."
"That may be. But he was dodging about in a jolly feeble case,"
said I.
"You mean?"
"That he"s wrong. I don"t think he proves his case. I don"t think Christianity is true. He knows himself for the pretender he is.
His reasoning"s--Rot."
Mr. Gabbitas went, I think, a shade paler than his wont, and propitiation vanished from his manner. His eyes and mouth were round, his face seemed to get round, his eyebrows curved at my remarks.
"I"m sorry you think that," he said at last, with a catch in his breath.
He did not repeat his suggestion that I should sit. He made a step or two toward the window and turned. "I suppose you will admit--" he began, with a faintly irritating note of intellectual condescension.
I will not tell you of his arguments or mine. You will find if you care to look for them, in out-of-the-way corners of our book museums, the shriveled cheap publications--the publications of the Rationalist Press a.s.sociation, for example--on which my arguments were based. Lying in that curious limbo with them, mixed up with them and indistinguishable, are the endless "Replies" of orthodoxy, like the mixed dead in some hard-fought trench. All those disputes of our fathers, and they were sometimes furious disputes, have gone now beyond the range of comprehension. You younger people, I know, read them with impatient perplexity. You cannot understand how sane creatures could imagine they had joined issue at all in most of these controversies. All the old methods of systematic thinking, the queer absurdities of the Aristotelian logic, have followed magic numbers and mystical numbers, and the Rumpelstiltskin magic of names now into the blackness of the unthinkable. You can no more understand our theological pa.s.sions than you can understand the fancies that made all ancient peoples speak of their G.o.ds only by circ.u.mlocutions, that made savages pine away and die because they had been photographed, or an Elizabethan farmer turn back from a day"s expedition because he had met three crows. Even I, who have been through it all, recall our controversies now with something near incredulity.
Faith we can understand to-day, all men live by faith, but in the old time every one confused quite hopelessly Faith and a forced, incredible Belief in certain pseudo-concrete statements. I am inclined to say that neither believers nor unbelievers had faith as we understand it--they had insufficient intellectual power. They could not trust unless they had something to see and touch and say, like their barbarous ancestors who could not make a bargain without exchange of tokens. If they no longer worshipped stocks and stones, or eked out their needs with pilgrimages and images, they still held fiercely to audible images, to printed words and formulae.
But why revive the echoes of the ancient logomachies?
Suffice it that we lost our tempers very readily in pursuit of G.o.d and Truth, and said exquisitely foolish things on either side.
And on the whole--from the impartial perspective of my three and seventy years--I adjudicate that if my dialectic was bad, that of the Rev. Gabbitas was altogether worse.
Little pink spots came into his cheeks, a squealing note into his voice. We interrupted each other more and more rudely. We invented facts and appealed to authorities whose names I misp.r.o.nounced; and, finding Gabbitas shy of the higher criticism and the Germans, I used the names of Karl Marx and Engels as Bible exegetes with no little effect. A silly wrangle! a preposterous wrangle!--you must imagine our talk becoming louder, with a developing quarrelsome note--my mother no doubt hovering on the staircase and listening in alarm as who should say, "My dear, don"t offend it! Oh, don"t offend it! Mr. Gabbitas enjoys its friendship. Try to think whatever Mr. Gabbitas says"--though we still kept in touch with a pretence of mutual deference. The ethical superiority of Christianity to all other religions came to the fore--I know not how. We dealt with the matter in bold, imaginative generalizations, because of the insufficiency of our historical knowledge. I was moved to denounce Christianity as the ethic of slaves, and declare myself a disciple of a German writer of no little vogue in those days, named Nietzsche.
For a disciple I must confess I was particularly ill acquainted with the works of the master. Indeed, all I knew of him had come to me through a two-column article in The Clarion for the previous week. . . . But the Rev. Gabbitas did not read The Clarion.
I am, I know, putting a strain upon your credulity when I tell you that I now have little doubt that the Rev. Gabbitas was absolutely ignorant even of the name of Nietzsche, although that writer presented a separate and distinct att.i.tude of attack upon the faith that was in the reverend gentleman"s keeping.
"I"m a disciple of Nietzsche," said I, with an air of extensive explanation.