I avoid eye contact. He had been staring at my a.s.s? I know my cheeks have to be red. "So, you won"t be mad if I don"t go?"
He frowns. "I don"t want to go alone. I tell you what...we can go and leave as soon as the wedding"s over. Please?"
Biting my lip, I try to think of a way out. Nothing. He"s got me now, I need to go. It"s what my character would do. "Okay, as long as we leave quickly afterwards."
Aiden smiles, then leans down and presses his lips to mine. It startles me. He"s never kissed me in public like this before. Cradling my face, he presses me against the wall. I screw my eyes shut. His lips are soft, but not Lachlan soft. His hands are gentle, but not like him. Frustration erupts from my chest. I grab his shirt and squeeze.
"Jesus," he whispers, raking his fingers down my back to cup my a.s.s. "You feel so good, Laney."
Tears. They"re threatening to run down my face. No, don"t. I smile into his mouth, the only thing I can think to do.
"Why don"t you come over tonight?" he whispers before biting down, gently, on my earlobe.
I suck in a deep breath. I know I should say no, because I can see the l.u.s.t in his eyes. But, I think about Lachlan. The frustration of wanting him so badly I can"t breathe. It makes me see red. I want a release. I need to feel something more, to show me it doesn"t have to be him. I need something to keep me from falling hard into Lachlan again, only to be torn apart.
"Why don"t we go outside to your car?"
He groans and grabs my bottom lip with his lips. "I think that sounds like a great idea. Come on."
Adrenaline is coursing through my body, and despite my better judgment, I let Aiden pull me toward his BMW. Thank G.o.d the windows are tinted.
The parking lot is full of cars, but everyone is in cla.s.s or at lunch. I can hear my heart beat inside my head. Aiden pulls out his car keys, fumbles with the lock, and opens the back door. I feel like I"m sixteen again, climbing into the back of my date"s truck to make out before my mom starts calling me to come home.
Sliding in, Aiden shuts the door and wastes no time intertwining his fingers around the back of my neck. "G.o.d, I want you so bad, baby," Aiden whispers, pressing his lips against my neck.
Aiden pushes his shirt over his head when I reach my hand underneath his shirt. His muscles are hard and tense beneath me. I press my eyes shut harder, a kaleidoscope of colors previewing before my closed eyes. Lachlan"s face flickers into my vision every few seconds.
Aiden"s body hovers over mine, his leg between my legs, pushing them open farther. I feel his lips on my neck, traveling down to my bra. I don"t stop him. I can"t. All I see when my eyes are closed is Lachlan. Kissing me. Holding me. Touching me. Tearing me apart.
Aiden"s fingers sliding down to my jeans zipper brings me back to reality. What in the f.u.c.k am I doing? My jeans are halfway down my legs when I grip Aiden"s arm. "Aiden-I"m...I need to stop. I"m sorry."
Aiden widens his eyes and starts nodding like a bobblehead. "Hey, it"s okay. Don"t be sorry. If you"re not ready you"re not ready."
Really? Aiden smiles down at me, and then presses his lips against my forehead. I think I"ve fallen into the Twilight Zone. Did he really just give up that easily? It"s definitely not what I was expecting.
"You"re not mad?"
Aiden furrows his brow and sits up. "Why would you think I"d be mad, Laney?"
Hmm...I don"t know. You"ve kind of got that a.s.shole reputation going on. I shrug. "You"ve been with so many girls. I figured you"d be p.i.s.sed."
The corner of Aiden"s lips moves up and he pulls me closer to him. "I would never make you do something you don"t want to. All the girls," he rolls his eyes, "I"ve been with have given it to me. I"d never take that without them wanting to give it."
d.a.m.n. I wish I could rip the heavy pressure of guilt from my shoulders. A sick feeling starts to crawl up my throat, making me feel like throwing up in the back of his BMW.
I give him a weak smile and pick at my thumbnail. "Thanks. I-I probably need to get home. I...I have homework."
Aiden brushes his hair out of his eyes and gives me the biggest smile. "Okay, I"ll take you home. Come on."
Chapter Fifteen.
Laney "Why does it feel so good But hurt so bad?
My mind keeps saying Run as fast as you can." Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida Slipping my feet into Heather"s death traps, I take an uneasy breath out. This week hasn"t been on my top favorite weeks of my life. First, I get caught making out with Lachlan on Dr. Phillips" desk, then I let myself get carried away with Aiden. That is not in the plan.
Heather hums along to some One Direction song, and I wish I had that life. The life with one boy who loves me, and I love him. Not a pretend boyfriend that I have to make appearances with, and turns out to be one of the sweetest guys ever. Or an ex-boyfriend that I can"t look at without seeing my past. My mistakes. I haven"t told Heather or Bethany what happened. I can"t. Bethany came over last night and had a plan for me to put Ex-lax in his drink. I said I didn"t want to do it and pretended to get a call from my mom. I"m sure that wasn"t the end of it though.
Now I"m sitting on Heather"s bed, staring out into oblivion.
"What"s the matter with you?" Heather asks from her desk.
I shrug.
Heather shuts her laptop and sits across from me on my bed. Her hair is in a sloppy bun, her eyes wide and fingers intertwined. "Are you falling for Aiden?"
I give her a puh-lease look. "No, I just-I feel bad for him. I don"t want to put that in his drink. I don"t want to lead him on anymore. I just want to stop."
Heather presses her lips together. "Laney, he is a manipulator. He is making you think he is good. It"s what they do." I"m pretty sure she really thinks this but I"m surer that this has something to do with Bethany telling Todd that I coached her through their relationship.
I know this. I know exactly how boys think, and I know when they"re playing me. I shake my head. "No, you didn"t see his face. He was so gentle. I-I know it"s hard to believe. But, he"s been hurt. I don"t know the story, but you heard his roommate. He does it to cover up his pain. I-I don"t want to do this to him. But I know Bethany will tell everyone, including Todd if I don"t. And to be honest I don"t want to hurt him anymore."
Heather sighs and comes to sit beside me. "If you don"t do it, it"s going to make him feel worse than having diarrhea."
I try not to laugh. "Gross."
She shrugs. "Just do it, then break it off next Monday. Then he won"t know you played him and you can go on with your life."
G.o.d. Vomit is rising in my throat when Bethany bursts into our room. She scans over us and frowns. "You"re backing out aren"t you? What happened? You promised, Laney-"
I hold my hand up for her to shut the h.e.l.l up. "Bethany, this is the last prank. I"m breaking up with him Monday. He"s already lured in enough. And you have to promise that you won"t tell anyone about this, including Todd. You promised."
She twists her lips and nods. "Sure. And he seems like he is really starting to like you. It would probably be better this way."
For you. Sighing, I stand up and grab my wallet and keys. "I"m going to go wait outside for him. I need some fresh air."
I don"t feel a release until I"m out of the dorm and into the cool air. Taking a huge breath, I take a seat on the concrete steps in front of our building. I keep telling myself that it"s just a few more days but I still feel like c.r.a.p. I hear the slight hum of Aiden"s Beemer and then he pulls up in front of me.
He rolls down the window. "You ready?"
I nod, grab my things, and get into the car. Ready as I"ll ever be.
My head is sweating. Jeez. Aiden is talking about something, but I"m too busy wiping at the back of my neck to pay attention.
"Laney."
"Huh?"
"We were just saying how beautiful the wedding was." He gestures toward Savannah, who is standing there in her wedding dress. I hadn"t even realized she was there, let alone talking.
I lean in and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Oh, yes, it was beautiful and so are you."
She smiles and grabs Aiden"s arm. "Mom wants a picture of us. Do you mind, Laney?"
"Not at all," I mumble.
Aiden puts his drink down on the table behind us and kisses my cheek. "I"ll be back really soon. Keep an eye on this for me."
Smiling weakly, I give him a lame thumbs up. He disappears behind a set of double doors. My fingers wrap around the bottle of Ex-lax in my blue jean jacket pocket. G.o.d, I don"t want to do this.
No one is paying attention to me. Grabbing his drink, I screw my eyes shut and pour a small amount into his drink.
That will definitely do it.
"What are you doing?"
s.h.i.t. I swing around and look up at Lachlan. His dark eyebrow is raised, his mouth pressed into a tight line. I fumble with my jacket pocket, making sure the bottle is shoved down into the depth of it.
"What are you doing?" I ask, keeping my eyes glued to the floor.
Lachlan grunts. "What did you put in his drink?"
What in the h.e.l.l? I glare up at him. "None of your business. Leave me alone, Lachlan."
He chuckles, the sound making my stomach tighten. "Leave you alone? That"s not what you said in Dr. Phillips" cla.s.sroom."
Arrogant a.r.s.ehole. Flipping him the bird, I turn my back on him. I can"t look at him now. He saw what I did. I can"t tell him the truth. I can"t.
"Dance with me?" he whispers, his lips an inch away from my ear. "Please, luv."
No. I don"t need to dance with him. Last time I almost lost myself in him. That"s not possible now. I"m here with Aiden. Whether or not I"m pouring Ex-lax into his cup. "No." Why is he asking me anyway; isn"t he here with that brunette bimbo?
"Come on. One dance, and I"ll leave you alone. But, we both know you don"t want me to do that, luv."
"Go dance with your date."
A calloused hand wraps around my elbow and I"m turned toward him. He looks down at me through shaded eyes. "I want you to dance with me, not her."
Warmth spreads in-between my thighs. My d.a.m.n hormones betraying me once again. "Lachlan-"
"Hush," he says, before wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me out to the middle of the reception floor. A few more couples are dancing and a few fathers and daughters are dancing.
When we get to the center, Lachlan turns me toward him. One hand wraps around my own and the other one is on my hip.
He smiles down at me. "See, I won"t bite, babe. Unless, you want me to."
Heat swarms my cheeks, but I look over his shoulder to keep from blushing harder. "So, I see you"re back with Aiden."
"What"s it to you?" I snap back.
His grip tightens on my waist and he pulls me closer. "You know good and d.a.m.n well what it matters to me. It never stopped mattering."
The wall around my heart threatens to crumble but I push back that feeling and keep my chin up. "Well, I see you brought your date. What"s her name? Wh.o.r.e?"
Lachlan"s eyes widen but he laughs out loud. "Wow, I didn"t realize you cared that much, Lane. If it bothers you, I"m sure I can ditch her."
I bite my bottom lip and sigh.
"So, are you going to tell me the real reason you"re dating him? Obviously it"s not because you"re into him. You wouldn"t have kissed me otherwise. You"re not that type of girl, Lane."
"You don"t know what type of girl I am anymore, Lachlan."
"I know you"re still the girl I loved in high school. You"re still the girl that I gave my all to. Remember our first kiss?" he whispers. "You were so nervous. I snuck us into the chemistry lab." He laughs but it"s humorless. "I wanted you so b.l.o.o.d.y bad, luv. I didn"t want to pull my lips away from yours. I wanted to devour you. Make you mine, forever. Your lips felt so soft, your breath minty from your gum." His hand grips tighter around my waist, and my panties are soaking wet now. "G.o.dd.a.m.n, I want you back, Lane. Please, let"s just forget what happened. We both made mistakes. I"m willing to forget about them if you are."
My heart is fluttering. How did this conversation take this drastic of a turn? We were just talking about his date and now we"re back to us. Back to the old us. The old damaged me.
"No, Lachlan. No. I just can"t. Every time I look at you, all I see is..." I trail off, turning my head to keep the tears at bay. "Please. Just don"t."
He growls and pulls me so close every inch of us is touching. "Laney. I"m so sick of this bulls.h.i.t game. I f.u.c.king love you. I always have. Please, let"s just start over."
Tears are building in my eyes. Jesus, I can"t believe this is happening. I refuse to cry in front of the entire wedding reception. "No, don"t you dare cry." I try to pull away but he drags me back to him. "Tell me why you"re dating Aiden. Is it because you like him? Or are you trying to make me jealous? Because, luv, it"s f.u.c.king working. What did you put in his drink?"
"It"s none of your business!"
Lachlan growls and presses his lips against mine. In front of everyone. Jesus. It takes my entire being to push him away. I shake my head and start toward the door.
"Oh, no you don"t." Lachlan grabs me by the waist and pulls me to him, his green eyes dark and hungry. "Don"t you dare run away. I"m so f.u.c.king sick of you running. Grow a pair and talk to me. Talk to me about it! I"m hurting just as much as you are. I can help you."
"No, you can"t!" I"m yelling now, my voice cracking from the lump growing in my throat. "Nothing can take back what I did. What you did. Now, please let go." I s.n.a.t.c.h my arm away, giving me enough time to break through the double doors. I race down the hallway toward the Exit doors when I"m grabbed from behind and pulled through the closest door.
Lachlan gently shoves me into the room and I glance around when the light comes on. We"re in a small office. A desk, a small loveseat, and a few potted plants and file cabinets are positioned around the room.
His fists are closed tightly at his sides. His shirt is tight against his upper chest, and fits all the way down to his waist. I don"t move. I can"t seem to take my eyes off of him. I want to move forward, to taste him. To know him again.
His eyes dart toward my lips. G.o.d, I want him to kiss me again. "Are you going to talk to me?"
Slowly, I shake my head. I"m not ready. I can barely live with myself now. Talking to him about that will only make it worse. Make the memories, make the pain, come back to torment me.
"Have it your way." He takes two steps toward me, wraps an arm around my waist, and pulls me toward him. "I"ll just have to show you what you"ve been missing, luv. Hold on tight."
Before I know what he"s doing, he leans down and takes my lips with his. My self-control must have been left in my dorm room, because I can"t help but kiss him back. His mouth molds to mind, marking his territory. He doesn"t know, but it was never anyone else"s. Always him. Always. He breaks his mouth from mine, trailing his lips down my neck. "I want all of you this time, Laney. Please, don"t shut me out."