(One) That me and you will settle this matter together: _i.e._, to be Kings of Kafiristan.
(Two) That you and me will not, while this matter is being settled, look at any Liquor, nor any Woman, black, white or brown, so as to get mixed up with one or the other harmful.
(Three) That we conduct ourselves with dignity and discretion, and if one of us gets into trouble the other will stay by him.
Signed by you and me this day.
Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan.
Daniel Dravot.
Both Gentlemen at Large._
"There was no need for the last article," said Carnehan, blushing modestly; "but it looks regular. Now you know the sort of men that loafers are--we _are_ loafers, Dan, until we get out of India--and _do_ you think that we would sign a Contrack like that unless we was in earnest? We have kept away from the two things that make life worth having."
"You won"t enjoy your lives much longer if you are going to try this idiotic adventure. Don"t set the office on fire," I said, "and go away before nine o"clock."
I left them still poring over the maps and making notes on the back of the "Contrack." "Be sure to come down to the Serai to-morrow," were their parting words.
The k.u.mha.r.s.en Serai is the great four-square sink of humanity where the strings of camels and horses from the North load and unload. All the nationalities of Central Asia may be found there, and most of the folk of India proper. Balkh and Bokhara there meet Bengal and Bombay, and try to draw eye-teeth. You can buy ponies, turquoises, Persian p.u.s.s.y-cats, saddle-bags, fat-tailed sheep and musk in the k.u.mha.r.s.en Serai, and get many strange things for nothing. In the afternoon I went down there to see whether my friends intended to keep their word or were lying about drunk.
A priest attired in fragments of ribbons and rags stalked up to me, gravely twisting a child"s paper whirligig. Behind him was his servant bending under the load of a crate of mud toys, The two were loading up two camels, and the inhabitants of the Serai watched them with shrieks of laughter.
"The priest is mad," said a horse-dealer to me, "He is going up to Kabul to sell toys to the Amir. He will either be raised to honor or have his head cut off. He came in here this morning and has been behaving madly ever since."
"The witless are under the protection of G.o.d," stammered a flat-cheeked Usbeg in broken Hindi. "They foretell future events."
"Would they could have foretold that my caravan would have been cut up by the Shinwaris almost within shadow of the Pa.s.s!" grunted the Eusufzai agent of a Rajputana trading-house whose goods had been feloniously diverted into the hands of other robbers just across the Border, and whose misfortunes were the laughing-stock of the bazar. "Ohe, priest, whence come you and whither do you go?"
"From Roum have I come," shouted the priest, waving his whirligig; "from Roum, blown by the breath of a hundred devils across the sea! O thieves, robbers, liars, the blessing of Pir Khan on pigs, dogs, and perjurers! Who will take the Protected of G.o.d to the North to sell charms that are never still to the Amir? The camels shall not gall, the sons shall not fall sick, and the wives shall remain faithful while they are away, of the men who give me place in their caravan. Who will a.s.sist me to slipper the King of the Roos with a golden slipper with a silver heel? The protection of Pir Khan be upon his labors!" He spread out the skirts of his gaberdine and pirouetted between the lines of tethered horses.
"There starts a caravan from Peshawur to Kabul in twenty days, _Huzrut_,"
said the Eusufzai trader, "My camels go therewith. Do thou also go and bring us good luck."
"I will go even now!" shouted the priest, "I will depart upon my winged camels, and be at Peshawur in a day! Ho! Hazar Mir Khan," he yelled to his servant, "drive out the camels, but let me first mount my own."
He leaped on the back of his beast as it knelt, and, turning round to me, cried:--"Come thou also, Sahib, a little along the road, and I will sell thee a charm--an amulet that shall make thee King of Kafiristan."
Then the light broke upon me, and I followed the two camels out of the Serai till we reached open road and the priest halted.
"What d" you think o" that?" said he in English. "Carnehan can"t talk their patter, so I"ve made him my servant. He makes a handsome servant, "Tisn"t for nothing that I"ve been knocking about the country for fourteen years. Didn"t I do that talk neat? We"ll hitch on to a caravan at Peshawur till we get to Jagdallak, and then we"ll see if we can get donkeys for our camels, and strike into Kafiristan. Whirligigs for the Amir, O Lor! Put your hand under the camel-bags and tell me what you feel."
I felt the b.u.t.t of a Martini, and another and another.
"Twenty of "em," said Dravot, placidly. "Twenty of "em, and ammunition to correspond, under the whirligigs and the mud dolls."
"Heaven help you if you are caught with those things!" I said. "A Martini is worth her weight in silver among the Pathans."
"Fifteen hundred rupees of capital--every rupee we could beg, borrow, or steal--are invested on these two camels," said Dravot. "We won"t get caught. We"re going through the Khaiber with a regular caravan. Who"d touch a poor mad priest?"
"Have you got everything you want?" I asked, overcome with astonishment.
"Not yet, but we shall soon. Give us a memento of your kindness, _Brother_. You did me a service yesterday, and that time in Marwar. Half my Kingdom shall you have, as the saying is." I slipped a small charm compa.s.s from my watch-chain and handed it up to the priest.
"Good-bye," said Dravot, giving me hand cautiously. "It"s the last time we"ll shake hands with an Englishman these many days. Shake hands with him, Carnehan," he cried, as the second camel pa.s.sed me.
Carnehan leaned down and shook hands. Then the camels pa.s.sed away along the dusty road, and I was left alone to wonder. My eye could detect no failure in the disguises. The scene in Serai attested that they were complete to the native mind. There was just the chance, therefore, that Carnehan and Dravot would be able to wander through Afghanistan without detection. But, beyond, they would find death, certain and awful death.
Ten days later a native friend of mine, giving me the news of the day from Peshawur, wound up his letter with:--"There has been much laughter here on account of a certain mad priest who is going in his estimation to sell petty gauds and insignificant trinkets which he ascribes as great charms to H.H. the Amir of Bokhara. He pa.s.sed through Peshawur and a.s.sociated himself to the Second Summer caravan that goes to Kabul. The merchants are pleased because through superst.i.tion they imagine that such mad fellows bring good-fortune."
The two, then, were beyond the Border. I would have prayed for them, but, that night, a real King died in Europe, and demanded on obituary notice.
The wheel of the world swings through the same phases again and again.
Summer pa.s.sed and winter thereafter, and came and pa.s.sed again. The daily paper continued and I with it, and upon the third summer there fell a hot night, a night-issue, and a strained waiting for something to be telegraphed from the other side of the world, exactly as had happened before. A few great men had died in the past two years, the machines worked with more clatter, and some of the trees in the Office garden were a few feet taller. But that was all the difference.
I pa.s.sed over to the press-room, and went through just such a scene as I have already described. The nervous tension was stronger than it had been two years before, and I felt the heat more acutely. At three o"clock I cried, "Print off," and turned to go, when there crept to my chair what was left of a man. He was bent into a circle, his head was sunk between his shoulders, and he moved his feet one over the other like a bear. I could hardly see whether he walked or crawled--this rag-wrapped, whining cripple who addressed me by name, crying that he was come back. "Can you give me a drink?" he whimpered. "For the Lord"s sake, give me a drink!"
I went back to the office, the man following with groans of pain, and I turned up the lamp.
"Don"t you know me?" he gasped, dropping into a chair, and he turned his drawn face, surmounted by a shock of grey hair, to the light.
I looked at him intently. Once before had I seen eyebrows that met over the nose in an inch-broad black band, but for the life of me I could not tell where.
"I don"t know you," I said, handing him the whiskey. "What can I do for you?"
He took a gulp of the spirit raw, and shivered in spite of the suffocating heat.
"I"ve come back," he repeated; "and I was the King of Kafiristan--me and Dravot--crowned Kings we was! In this office we settled it--you setting there and giving us the books. I am Peachey--Peachey Taliaferro Carnehan, and you"ve been setting here ever since--O Lord!"
I was more than a little astonished, and expressed my feelings accordingly,
"It"s true," said Carnehan, with a dry cackle, nursing his feet, which were wrapped in rags. "True as gospel. Kings we were, with crowns upon our heads--me and Dravot--poor Dan--oh, poor, poor Dan, that would never take advice, not though I begged of him!"
"Take the whiskey," I said, "and take your own time. Tell me all you can recollect of everything from beginning to end. You got across the border on your camels, Dravot dressed as a mad priest and you his servant. Do you remember that?"
"I ain"t mad--yet, but I shall be that way soon. Of course I remember.
Keep looking at me, or maybe my words will go all to pieces. Keep looking at me in my eyes and don"t say anything."
I leaned forward and looked into his face as steadily as I could. He dropped one hand upon the table and I grasped it by the wrist. It was twisted like a bird"s claw, and upon the back was a ragged, red, diamond-shaped scar.
"No, don"t look there. Look at _me_," said Carnehan.