Under the new Post Office, one evening, Mrs. Landys-Haggert turned on him, and spoke her mind shortly and without warning. "Mr. Hannasyde," said she, "will you be good enough to explain why you have appointed yourself my special _cavalier servente?_ I don"t understand it. But I am perfectly certain, somehow or other, that you don"t care the least little bit in the world for _me_." This seems to support, by the way, the theory that no man can act or tell lies to a woman without being found out. Hannasyde was taken off his guard. His defence never was a strong one, because he was always thinking of himself, and he blurted out, before he knew what he was saying, this inexpedient answer, "No more I do."
The queerness of the situation and the reply, made Mrs. Landys-Haggert laugh. Then it all came out; and at the end of Hannasyde"s lucid explanation Mrs. Haggert said, with the least little touch of scorn in her voice, "So I"m to act as the lay-figure for you to hang the rags of your tattered affections on, am I?"
Hannasyde didn"t see what answer was required, and he devoted himself generally and vaguely to the praise of Alice Chisane, which was unsatisfactory. Now it is to be thoroughly made clear that Mrs. Haggert had not the shadow of a ghost of an interest in Hannasyde. Only ... only no woman likes being made love through instead of to--specially on behalf of a musty divinity of four years" standing.
Hannasyde did not see that he had made any very particular exhibition of himself. He was glad to find a sympathetic soul in the arid wastes of Simla.
When the season ended, Hannasyde went down to his own place and Mrs.
Haggert to hers, "It was like making love to a ghost," said Hannasyde to himself, "and it doesn"t matter; and now I"ll get to my work." But he found himself thinking steadily of the Haggert-Chisane ghost; and he could not be certain whether it was Haggert or Chisane that made up the greater part of the pretty phantom.
He got understanding a month later.
A peculiar point of this peculiar country is the way in which a heartless Government transfers men from one end of the Empire to the other. You can never be sure of getting rid of a friend or an enemy till he or she dies.
There was a case once--but that"s another story.
Haggert"s Department ordered him up from Dindigul to the Frontier at two days" notice, and he went through, losing money at every step, from Dindigul to his station. He dropped Mrs. Haggert at Lucknow, to stay with some friends there, to take part in a big ball at the Chutter Munzil, and to come on when he had made the new home a little comfortable. Lucknow was Hannasyde"s station, and Mrs. Haggert stayed a week there. Hannasyde went to meet her. As the train came in, he discovered what he had been thinking of for the past month. The unwisdom of his conduct also struck him. The Lucknow week, with two dances, and an unlimited quant.i.ty of rides together, clinched matters; and Hannasyde found himself pacing this circle of thought:--He adored Alice Chisane, at least he _had_ adored her. _And_ he admired Mrs. Landys-Haggert because she was like Alice Chisane. _But_ Mrs. Landys-Haggert was not in the least like Alice Chisane, being a thousand times more adorable. _Now_ Alice Chisane was "the bride of another," and so was Mrs. Landys-Haggert, and a good and honest wife too.
_Therefore_ he, Hannasyde, was ... here he called himself several hard names, and wished that he had been wise in the beginning.
Whether Mrs. Landys-Haggert saw what was going on in his mind, she alone knows. He seemed to take an unqualified interest in everything connected with herself, as distinguished from the Alice-Chisane likeness, and he said one or two things which, if Alice Chisane had been still betrothed to him, could scarcely have been excused, even on the grounds of the likeness. But Mrs. Haggert turned the remarks aside, and spent a long time in making Hannasyde see what a comfort and a pleasure she had been to him because of her strange resemblance to his old love. Hannasyde groaned in his saddle and said, "Yes, indeed," and busied himself with preparations for her departure to the Frontier, feeling very small and miserable.
The last day of her stay at Lucknow came, and Hannasyde saw her off at the Railway Station. She was very grateful for his kindness and the trouble he had taken, and smiled pleasantly and sympathetically as one who knew the Alice-Chisane reason of that kindness. And Hannasyde abused the coolies with the luggage, and hustled the people on the platform, and prayed that the roof might fall in and slay him.
As the train went out slowly, Mrs. Landys-Haggert leaned out of the window to say good-bye--"On second thoughts _au revoir_, Mr. Hannasyde. I go Home in the Spring, and perhaps I may meet you in Town."
Hannasyde shook hands, and said very earnestly and adoringly--"I hope to Heaven I shall never see your face again!"
And Mrs. Haggert understood.
PRIVATE LEAROYD"S STORY
And he told a tale.--_Chronicles of Gautama Buddha._
Far from the haunts of Company Officers who insist upon kit-inspections, far from keen-nosed Sergeants who sniff the pipe stuffed into the bedding-roll, two miles from the tumult of the barracks, lies the Trap. It is an old dry well, shadowed by a twisted _pipal_ tree and fenced with high gra.s.s. Here, in the years gone by, did Private Ortheris establish his depot and menagerie for such possessions, dead and living, as could not safely be introduced to the barrack-room. Here were gathered Houdin pullets, and fox-terriers of undoubted pedigree and more than doubtful ownership, for Ortheris was an inveterate poacher and preeminent among a regiment of neat-handed dog-stealers.
Never again will the long lazy evenings return wherein Ortheris, whistling softly, moved surgeon-wise among the captives of his craft at the bottom of the well; when Learoyd sat in the niche, giving sage counsel on the management of "tykes," and Mulvaney, from the crook of the overhanging _pipal_, waved his enormous boots in benediction above our heads, delighting us with tales of Love and War, and strange experiences of cities and men.
Ortheris--landed at last in the "little stuff bird-shop" for which your soul longed; Learoyd--back again in the smoky, stone-ribbed North, amid the clang of the Bradford looms; Mulvaney--grizzled, tender, and very wise Ulysses, sweltering on the earthwork of a Central India line--judge if I have forgotten old days in the Trap!
Orth"ris, as allus thinks he knaws more than other foaks, said she wasn"t a real laady, but n.o.bbut a Hewrasian. I don"t gainsay as her culler was a bit doosky like. But she _was_ a laady. Why, she rode iv a carriage, an"
good "osses, too, an" her "air was that oiled as you could see your faice in it, an" she wore di"mond rings an" a goold chain, an" silk an" satin dresses as mun "a" cost a deal, for it isn"t a cheap shop as keeps enough o" one pattern to fit a figure like hers. Her name was Mrs. DeSussa, an"
t" waay I coom to be acquainted wi" her was along of our Colonel"s Laady"s dog Rip.
I"ve seen a vast o" dogs, but Rip was t" prettiest picter of a cliver fox-tarrier "at iver I set eyes on. He could do owt you like but speeak, an" t" Colonel"s Laady set more store by him than if he hed been a Christian. She hed bairns of her awn, but they was i" England, and Rip seemed to get all t" coodlin" and pettin" as belonged to a bairn by good right.
But Rip were a bit on a rover, an" hed a habit o" breakin" out o" barricks like, and trottin" round t" plaice as if he were t" Cantonment Magistrate coom round inspectin". The Colonel leathers him once or twice, but Rip didn"t care an" kept on gooin" his rounds, wi" his taail a-waggin" as if he were flag-signallin" to t" world at large "at he was "gettin" on nicely, thank yo", and how"s yo"sen?" An" then t" Colonel, as was noa sort of a hand wi" a dog, tees him oop. A real clipper of a dog, an" it"s noa wonder yon laady, Mrs. DeSussa, should tek a fancy tiv him. Theer"s one o"
t" Ten Commandments says yo maun"t cuvvet your neebor"s ox nor his jacka.s.s, but it doesn"t say nowt about his tarrier dogs, an" happen thot"s t" reason why Mrs. DeSussa cuvveted Rip, tho" she went to church reg"lar along wi" her husband who was so mich darker "at if he hedn"t such a good coaat tiv his back yo" might ha" called him a black man and nut tell a lee nawther. They said he addled his bra.s.s i" jute, an" he"d a rare lot on it.
Well, you seen, when they teed Rip up, t" poor awd lad didn"t enjoy very good "elth. So t" Colonel"s Laady sends for me as "ad a naame for bein"
knowledgeable about a dog, an" axes what"s ailin" wi" him.
"Why," says I, "he"s getten t" mopes, an" what he wants is his libbaty an"
coompany like t" rest on us; wal happen a rat or two "ud liven him oop.
It"s low, mum," says I, "is rats, but it"s t" nature of a dog; an" soa"s cuttin" round an" meetin" another dog or two an" pa.s.sin" t" time o" day, an" hevvin" a bit of a turn-up wi" him like a Christian."
So she says _her_ dog maun"t niver fight an" noa Christians iver fought.
"Then what"s a soldier for?" says I; an" I explains to her t" contrairy qualities of a dog, "at, when yo" coom to think on"t, is one o" t"
curusest things as is. For they larn to behave theirsens like gentlemen born, fit for t" fost o" coompany--they tell me t" Widdy herself is fond of a good dog and knaws one when she sees it as well as onny body: then on t" other hand a-tewin" round after cats an" gettin" mixed oop i" all manners o" blackguardly street-rows, an" killin" rats, an" fightin" like divils.
T" Colonel"s Laady says:--"Well, Learoyd, I doan"t agree wi" you, but you"re right in a way o" speeakin", an" I should like yo" to tek Rip out a-walkin" wi" you sometimes; but yo" maun"t let him fight, nor chase cats, nor do nowt "orrid;" an" them was her very wods.
Soa Rip an" me gooes out a-walkin" o" evenin"s, he bein" a dog as did credit tiv a man, an" I catches a lot o" rats an" we hed a bit of a match on in an awd dry swimmin"-bath at back o" t" cantonments, an" it was none so long afore he was as bright as a b.u.t.ton again. He hed a way o" flyin"
at them big yaller pariah dogs as if he was a harrow offan a bow, an"
though his weight were nowt, he tuk "em so suddint-like they rolled over like skittles in a halley, an" when they coot he stretched after "em as if he were rabbit-runnin". Saame with cats when he cud get t" cat agaate o"
runnin".
One evenin", him an" me was trespa.s.sin" ovver a compound wall after one of them mongooses "at he"d started, an" we was busy grubbin" round a p.r.i.c.kle-bush, an" when we looks up there was Mrs. DeSussa wi" a parasel ovver her shoulder, a-watchin" us. "Oh my!" she sings out; "there"s that lovelee dog! Would he let me stroke him, Mister Soldier?"
"Ay, he would, mum," sez I, "for he"s fond o" laady"s coompany. Coom here, Rip, an" speeak to this kind laady." An" Rip, seein" "at t" mongoose hed getten clean awaay, cooms up like t" gentleman he was, nivver a hauporth shy or okkord.
"Oh, you beautiful--you prettee dog!" she says, clippin" an" chantin" her speech in a way them sooart has o" their awn; "I would like a dog like you. You are so verree lovelee--so awfullee prettee," an" all thot sort o"
talk, "at a dog o" sense mebbe thinks nowt on, tho" he bides it by reason o" his breedin".
An" then I meks him joomp ovver my swagger-cane, an" shek hands, an" beg, an" lie dead, an" a lot o" them tricks as laadies teeaches dogs, though I doan"t haud with it mysen, for it"s makin" a fool o" a good dog to do such like.
An" at lung length it cooms out "at she"d been thrawin" sheep"s eyes, as t" sayin" is, at Rip for many a day. Yo" see, her childer was grown up, an" she"d nowt mich to do, an" were allus fond of a dog. Soa she axes me if I"d tek somethin" to dhrink. An" we goes into t" drawn-room wheer her "usband was a-settin". They meks a gurt fuss ovver t" dog an" I has a bottle o" aale, an" he gave me a handful o" cigars.
Soa I coomed away, but t" awd la.s.s sings out--"Oh, Mister Soldier, please coom again and bring that prettee dog."
I didn"t let on to t" Colonel"s Laady about Mrs. DeSussa, and Rip, he says nowt nawther, an" I gooes again, an" ivry time there was a good dhrink an"
a handful o" good smooaks. An" I telled t" awd la.s.s a heeap more about Rip than I"d ever heeared; how he tuk t" lost prize at Lunnon dog-show and cost thotty-three pounds fower shillin" from t" man as bred him; "at his own brother was t" propputty o" t" Prince o" Wailes, an" "at he had a pedigree as long as a Dook"s. An" she lapped it all oop an" were niver tired o" admirin" him. But when t" awd la.s.s took to givin" me money an" I seed "at she were gettin" fair fond about t" dog, I began to suspicion summat. Onny body may give a soldier t" price of a pint in a friendly way an" theer"s no "arm done, but when it cooms to five rupees slipt into your hand, sly like, why, it"s what t" "lectioneerin" fellows calls bribery an"
corruption. Specially when Mrs. DeSussa threwed hints how t" cold weather would soon be ovver an" she was goin" to Munsooree Pahar an" we was goin"
to Rawalpindi, an" she would niver see Rip any more onless somebody she knowed on would be kind tiv her.
Soa I tells Mulvaney an" Ortheris all t" taale thro", beginnin" to end.
""Tis larceny that wicked ould laady manes," says t" Irishman, ""tis felony she is sejuicin" ye into, my frind Learoyd, but I"ll purtect your innocince. I"ll save ye from the wicked wiles av that wealthy ould woman, an" I"ll go wid ye this evenin" and spake to her the wurrds av truth an"
honesty. But Jock," says he, waggin" his heead, ""twas not like ye to kape all that good dhrink an" thim fine cigars to yerself, while Orth"ris here an" me have been prowlin" round wid throats as dry as lime-kilns, and nothin" to smoke but Canteen plug. "Twas a dhirty thrick to play on a comrade, for why should you, Learoyd, be balancin" yourself on the b.u.t.t av a satin chair, as if Terence Mulvaney was not the aquil av anybody who thrades in jute!"
"Let alone me," sticks in Orth"ris, "but that"s like life. Them wot"s really fitted to decorate society get no show while a blunderin"