"If this pa.s.sage of James were all we could adduce in favor of confession, I should think with you, Mary; yet it is not so. When about to dismiss his Apostles on their errands of mercy, Christ said to them--"Peace be with you; as my Father hath sent me, even so I send you;" and when he had breathed upon them, he said unto them--"Receive ye the Holy Ghost; whosesoever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them, and whosesoever sins ye retain, they are retained." Now, Mary, do you not plainly perceive that the power of forgiving sin was conferred upon the Apostles?"
"Most a.s.suredly I do; and avow my belief that they were enabled to forgive sin, and at the same time other miraculous powers were conferred on the "Twelve." "Then he called his twelve disciples together, and gave them power and authority over all devils, and to cure diseases." We know that they cast out devils, restored the blind, and raised the dead. Power to forgive sin was one among many wonderful gifts conferred upon them. Yet you do not believe that the power of raising the dead was transmitted to posterity. How, then, can you say the gift of absolution was?"
"But, Mary, Christ says in another place--"Thou art Peter: and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of h.e.l.l shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.""
"I perfectly agree with you, Florry, in believing that St. Peter had miraculous powers bestowed on him by our Saviour; but it seems absurd to suppose that these powers were perpetuated in the ministers of the Roman Catholic Church. Our Saviour said, what "Peter loosed, should be loosed in heaven," and not what Peter"s successors loosed should be observed and loosed in heaven. We should not judge of Christ"s views by isolated pa.s.sages, but rather from all his teachings; for if we did, what would you say to the verse just below those already quoted, "And he said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offense unto me: for thou savorest not the things which be of G.o.d, but those that be of men." But this is wandering from the subject. In St. Augustine"s Confessions, though I admit somewhat abridged, I find nothing relating to confessing to priests. This pa.s.sage alone appears: "O Lord, thou knowest!--have I not confessed my sins to thee? and hast thou not pardoned the iniquity of my heart?" Speaking of a sudden illness during his boyhood, he says he eagerly desired baptism, fearing to die, and his mother was about to comply with his request, when he quickly recovered. Now, had he considered confession necessary, would he not have urged it upon all who read his Confessions, which you will mark, Florry, were not made to a priest, but obviously to G.o.d himself,"
There followed a long pause, while Florence dropped her face in her hands and sighed heavily.
"Florry, it is very late; our candle has burnt low--see, it is flickering in the socket; we have not heeded the lapse of time." She rose and replaced the books she had been consulting.
"Mary, Mary! why have you shaken my faith? I had thought to find comfort in future, but you have torn my hope from me, and peace flies with the foundations which you have removed!"
"Florry, you have been blinded, deceived. They have cried unto you, Peace! peace! when there was no peace. But oh! there is a source of rest, and strength, and comfort, which is to be attained not by confession, or the intercession of the dead or living, but by repentance for the past, and an active, trusting faith in the mediation of our blessed Lord Jesus Christ"
CHAPTER XVII.
"The purple clouds Are putting on their gold and violet, To look the meeter for the sun"s bright coming.
How hallowed is the hour of morning! Meet-- Ay! beautifully meet--for the pure prayer."
WILLIS.
Morn broke in the East; or, in the beautiful language of the Son of Fingal, "Sol"s yellow hair streamed on the Eastern gale." Awakened by the first chirping of the feathered tribe, Florence rose as the gray morning light stole into her chamber, and seating herself at the window, looked out on the town before her. Quiet reigned as yet, broken only by the murmuring and gurgling of the river, which roiled swiftly on, just below their little gate. How delightful to her seemed
"The cool, the fragrant, and the silent hour To meditation due."
Calmly she now weighed the conversation of the preceding night, and, engrossed in earnest thought, sat gazing out till the Orient shone resplendent, and an October sun poured his rays gloriously around her.
Then she knelt, and prayed as she had never done before. She sought the "pure fountain of light," and implored strength and guidance in her search after truth. Rising, her glance fell on her sleeping cousin, and she was struck with the change which within the last month had taken place in her appearance. Approaching the bed, she lifted the ma.s.ses of chestnut hair that clung to the damp brow. As she looked on the pure, pale face, there came a gush of tenderness into her soul, and bending, she imprinted a long, warm kiss. Mary stirred, and opened her eyes.
"Ah, Florry, you are up earlier than usual." She closed them again, murmuring slowly, "I feel as though I had no strength remaining; I can scarcely lift my head."
"Sleep, Mary, if you can. I will shut out the light, and call you again after a while."
"No, Florry, I must not give way to such feelings; indeed they are getting quite too common of late; I can"t think what makes me so weak and feverish."
An hour later, as they stood together at the door of their little dining-room, a body of Mexican cavalry dashed furiously past their gate. The cousins looked full at each other. Then Florence said in a low, calm tone: "You are right, Mary; we will go from this place; I feel now that it is for the best." She averted her face; but Mary saw an expression of keen agony resting there. "Florry, let us consult Mrs. Carlton. She will advise us what would be best to do in this emergency."
"Go and see her yourself; I cannot. Whatever you decide upon I will agree to. Oh! Mary, how desolate and unprotected we are."
"No, not while there is an Almighty One to watch over us. But, Florry, I am much troubled about Aunt Lizzy. I mentioned our wish to leave here, and she opposed it strenuously, on the grounds that the Padre had promised his protection. Now what are we to do?"
"Go to Mrs. Carlton"s, Mary, and I will convince aunt that it is best we should remove from here immediately. You need apprehend no difficulty on her part. As you return from Mrs. Carlton"s, meet me in the churchyard."
"Florry, do not go till I come home; or, if you prefer it, let us go there at once."
"No, Mary, I wish to be there alone."
"But I am afraid it is not quite safe for you to venture out so far from home."
"I fear nothing: who would harm a daughter beside her father"s grave?"
Mary sighed heavily, but offered no further opposition. Her walk to Mrs. Carlton"s was a sad one, for her heart clung to the scenes she had learned to love so well, and the prospect of departure, and the uncertainty of the future, weighed heavily on her heart, and made her step unwontedly slow. She found her friend alone, and much depressed.
Mrs. Carlton clasped her tenderly in her arms, while the tears rolled silently down her cheeks.
"I hope nothing has happened to distress you?" said Mary, anxiously.
"You are the very one I wished to see. Mr. Carlton said, this morning, that he was unwilling for me to remain here any longer, as our troops are marching to attack the Alamo. He says he will take us to Washington, and I could not bear the idea of leaving you here."
"I have come to consult you on this subject; for some of my Mexican friends have advised us to leave San Antonio; and not knowing where or how to go, concluded to come and see you. But Washington is far, very far from here. How will we ever reach it in these unsettled times?"
"Mr. Carlton and Frank have gone to make all necessary preparation for our immediate departure. We will have two tents, and carry such cooking utensils and provisions as are needful for a tedious journey: one wagon is all we hope to obtain for conveying these. I suppose we shall all ride horseback; for you know there is not a carriage in the town. Frank does not wish us to leave this place, for he suggested your coming to remain with us till these stormy times were over. But this is not a suitable home for you. Surely your cousin and aunt will consent to accompany us?"
"Yes, I think so; for Florry left it entirely with me, and certainly we should go now."
"I am very glad to hear you say so, Mary; not only upon your own account, but also for Frank. He will consider himself bound to accompany you; for he promised your dying uncle to watch over you both with a brother"s care, and otherwise he could not be induced to leave San Antonio at this crisis. He seems completely rapt in the issue of the contest; and would you believe it, Mary, he is anxious to enlist; but my entreaties have as yet prevented him."
"Dear Mrs. Carlton, there is no obligation resting on him to go with us. He has been very kind and careful, and though deeply grateful, we could not consent to his leaving against his own inclinations. Oh, no!
we could not allow this. Yet should he remain, what may be the result?
Oh! Mrs. Carlton, this is terrible."
Mary"s cheek was very pale, and her lips quivered convulsively, while the small hands, clasped each other tightly.
"Mary, for my sake, use your influence with him in favor of going to Washington. I can"t go in peace, and feel that he is here exposed to such imminent danger, for when I am gone, what will restrain him?
Mary, Mary! do not deter him, if he feels it inc.u.mbent on him to see you to a place of of safety."
"Mrs. Carlton, you can appreciate the peculiar position in which I am placed. Florry and I would shrink from drawing him away, in opposition to his wishes, particularly when there is no danger attendant on our traveling; for with you and Mr. Carlton we would feel no apprehension; and even if we did, we could not consent to such a sacrifice on his part. Yet I sympathize with you, most sincerely, and will willingly do all that in propriety I can to alleviate your sorrow; but knowing his sentiments, how could I advise, or even acquiesce in his going?"
"My pure-hearted girl, forgive a request made so thoughtlessly. I had not considered, as I should have done; yet you can appreciate the anxious feelings which dictated it." As she spoke, Mrs. Carlton clasped her friend to her heart, and wept on her shoulder. No tear dimmed Mary"s eye; yet that she suffered, none who looked on her pale brow and writhing lips could doubt. As she raised her head to reply, Dr. Bryant entered, and started visibly on seeing her, Mrs. Carlton endeavored to regain her composure; and, with a slightly faltering voice, asked how he succeeded in procuring horses?
"Better than I had hoped," was the rejoinder; and he held out his hand to Mary. She gave him hers, now cold as ice. He held it a moment, and pressed it gently, saying: "You see my sister is going to run away on the first intimation of danger. I hope she has not infected you with her fears; though, to judge from your looks, I should almost predict a stampede in another direction."
"Indeed you are quite right. Florry and I are going with her; though we had decided on leaving before we knew she intended doing so."
"Ah! you did not seem to apprehend any immediate danger when we conversed on this subject a few days since. What has changed your views?"
"I have been warned not to risk the dangers attendant on the approaching conflict by a Mexican friend, whose attachment I have every reason to believe is sincere; and besides, it needed but little to augment my fears: and Florry and I concluded, if practicable, to remove to a place of greater safety."
"Can you be ready within two days, think you, Miss Mary? for, if we leave at all, it is advisable that we do so immediately."
"Oh, yes! I know we can be ready by that time."
"Let me see--how many additional horses shall we need? Yourself, your cousin, and aunt, and myself."
Mary looked eagerly at Mrs. Carlton; but she had averted her head; and for a moment a terrible struggle within kept the gentle girl silent.