"Every person has free choice. Free to obey or disobey the Natural Laws. Your choice determines the consequences. n.o.body ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices."— Alfred A. Montapert
In life we are presented with choices all the time, most often than not we begin to have control over what we choose to do or not from the teen years or even earlier than that. The
wrong choices we make from these early years can easily determine the course of one"s life forever if extra care isn"t taken.
As early as age 15, I had witnessed people of my age make the wrong choices and never recovered from the consequences. Most parents try their best to make their children understand this harsh truth about life, some hold onto these teachings, the unfortunate ones refuse to heed the necessary warnings, some through a stroke of luck or providence came round to right the wrongs but some were never lucky enough, they still live with the harsh reality of the consequences of their choices till date.
It takes a lot of soul searching for humans to come to terms with the mistakes they make in the course of their journey in life. The first reaction to mistakes made by anyone is anger. They get angry at the society for making them face the consequences of their wrong choices, next thing they do is question the "right" of the society to chastise them, forgetting they were raised by the same societal values along with others who turned out better, same students of the school of life around them who graduated with honours. Then later the anger will turn to defiance, they will begin to openly throw caution to the wind, tryingtogetbackatthe society, trying to fight the foundation of the values the society held dear for so long.
At this point two things happen depending on what the wrong choices are, because change is the most constant thing in life, they might be lucky enough to have people who are sympathetic to their cause and will fight for their re-integration, people who will insist that they should be accepted regardless of the mistakes they made, or they will never be lucky to find any form of sympathy, so what they do is leave their immediate environment for somewhere they can blend with the crowd and shut the door to their past forever.
For the lucky ones who found a shoulder to lean on, what happens most times is some get over their anger eventually but they will never forgive the society completely for what they went through initially, some later become activists or some withdraw into their sh.e.l.l and just continue to take the day as it comes. But a very few people emerge from the shadows of stigma to rise again, these are the fighters and conquerors, these set of people later become leaders of note in the society. They become counsellors and role models, since they have gone down and are back up, they are regarded as opinion makers. The only reason these ones turn out victorious is our next line of examination.
Embrace the Consequences of Your Choices Weallmakemistakesinlifebecausenooneisperfect. That is why I am not a fan of stigmatization, many of the people who lead the process of putting a mark of disgrace on others are worse off, they just seem to find away of covering up their own mistakes. I am also not a fan of wilfulness but I believe everyone deserves a second chance, so I am of the opinion that everyone should make the right choices in life for a better future, but at times some circ.u.mstances push some people to the point at which the wrong choices become more attractive than the right ones.
Also, wrong relationships or acquaintances can push one to make the wrong decisions that carry dire consequences. In it all I believe no one is immune to the wrong choices, we only all try to be good and continue to pray to G.o.d for the grace to always do the right things. But what happens when one makes the mistake that can bring one"s name into disrepute? What do you do when you take the wrong turn in life? The best thing is to make a sharp U- turn, but this is where most people get it wrong, they continue on the same wrong path, and then comes the ultimate question: does it make sense to take a wrong turn and still continue on that road in protest even when it leads nowhere?
Remember I touched on people"s first reaction to the need to face the consequences of their choices, they get angry because no one loves to be punished in whatever manner. They will protest in the first instance, some get lucky by doing the needful, others continue in their folly. Like the wrong turn example, I gave earlier, the best thing to do after you must have been found out is to face the consequences of your actions squarely, embrace it, understand it, and then conquer it. Never allow a situation that should ordinarily be a temporary experience to become a permanent one.
Give It Time
There is nothing that lasts forever including stigma, pain, anguish, sorrow, persecution etc. so don"t be bothered when you have to deal with the stigma that comes with your wrong choices, they are like examinations, all you need do after failing it, is to sit for it again but yo uhave to Pa.s.s it this time.
Never fall for the temptation of absconding or lowering your standard to avoid the pain of trying to do it the right way again. Every time I had squandered the opportunities G.o.d brought my way, I stayed in the place of prayer. I always went through my wilderness experience without grumbling except praying for a speedy recovery. That is what you should also learn to do, but in a situation you try to cut corners or deny yourself the opportunity to learn the hard way, you are setting yourself up for a bigger fall that you might never recover from again.
Important Warning
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In conclusion, please don"t a.s.sume because everyone deserves a second chance, then that grants you the liberty to make the wrong choices just because you think you can always bounce back. A second chance mostly is mere compensation. Your best option are the right choices you make all the time, if you are in doubt ask a divorcee that remarried, or an ex-convict that got re-integrated into the society, or a sports professional that failed a drug test who returned to the big stage after seeing through the required period of suspension, ask them what they went through before they got a second chance, it is always tough to get the wonderful second chance, your first choice is your safest best, it is not nice to squander a good chance.
A second chance most times isn"t so nice, that is how nature designed it, accept it that way and invest your time doing the right things.