"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise."— Oscar Wilde
I am sure we all hear this saying most times "every disappointment is a blessing," but how many of us know the true meaning? Then for the ones who know the true meaning,
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how many believe it whole heartedly?
I was such a crying baby in my early days as an entrepreneur, I had so much pa.s.sion and determination, I believed I could run through a wall effortlessly back in the days, nothing I foolishly thought could deter me, only if I had equipped myself wholeheartedly with the saying that "it"s only a warrior that hasn"t experienced a fierce battle that says he or she can win every battle." Maybe, just maybe I would have had it easier.
If you have experienced fierce and mean battles, if you have gone up and fallen flat on your face but through the grace of G.o.d youriseagain, then you will understand that winning in life is not a piece of cake. Winning isn"t for the faint hearted, it is actually for a few people who have mastered disappointments so much that they rode on its waves to emerge victorious in life.
I am sure some of us have seen surfers in action at the beach, I have seen the learners and I have watched the experts do their thing. The learners go through a tough time trying to ride on the waves of the ocean, most times they fall, then they will pick up their surfing boards again, they keep at it, till they master the act. The same for the real world, for you to become successful at anything, you have to practise over and over again till you become very good at whatever you do, before you become very good, you will suffer a lot of disappointments. The system will disappoint you, people will let you down, friends will betray you, your best allies can turn against you knowingly or unknowingly, you will disappoint yourself through your errors and all sorts but the earlier you understood what role disappointments play in the growth of any process the better for you. Disappointments can either make or mar you depending on your mental strength. Every one aspiring to be great must ride on disappointment to grow.
Many people try to downplay the role of disappointment in the growth and development of an individual or a system, this is the major reason a lot of people are so scared to make mistakes, and in the process they avoid the true process of learning, they dump their ideas altogether or they take short cuts which have the ability to plunge them deeper into the crisis they might never recover from.
Get me right, no one prays for disappointment, no one wishes for it, but it is something you must know will come especially at the beginning of most things, disappointments are like the pain you have to get used to as a sports person before you can become a winner. Most sports men and women train daily with pain, infact, you have to get used to pain to excel in sports, or for someone who wants to lose weight through a daily routine of exercise, for the person to notice any sign of improvement, then pain has to be a part of the process. Interestingly, many people know that disappointment is inevitable in life as long as you want to get anything done, so the question is why do we get so disappointed when things don"t work as planned?
The answer is not far fetched, humans love expected out comes so much we are obsessed with them. We love to open the fridge and just bring out cold water to drink without ha.s.sles, we love to flick on the light switch and the next thing we see is light, we want to start the car and drive to wherever we want without any form of inhibition, we want everything right there and then. That"s how we are wired, we are actually slaves to EXPECTED OUTCOMES. That is why we find it so difficult to overcome disappointments so easily, and let the truth be told, any normal human being loves to get instant result. The only issue is it is not normal in our world to do things differently from others, it is abnormal to build something from the scratch and make a success out it. It is not common place to see new ideas and initiatives work. This is the main reasons o many wonderful ideas and initiatives died because the promoters never overcame the initial setbacks and disappointments.
Disappointments come with no notice or warning most times, they come just like that in different forms and shapes. Many individuals and organisations employ the best hands to prevent setbacks and needless failures, but even at that there"s what we call the "act of G.o.d," even in contracts the act of G.o.d is a very valid clause which covers unforeseen circ.u.mstances like typhoon, earthquakes and other forms of natural disasters. This just tells us we can"t avoid disappointments completely but we have to continue to function and conduct business transactions regardless. So what is the way forward? The best way is to build a shock absorber within to face setbacks all the time. You have to come to an understanding that anything can happen but as long as there is life, there is hope. Once you have this etched on your mind there is little to worry about, also remember that the battle of life is won or lost in the mind. Once your mind is prepared to confront any setback with new found determination and enthusiasm, then it is very easy to deal with any disappointment.
It is beautiful to stay firm and strong in the face of disappointments but it is not good enough to accept disappointments without a positive counter reaction. Some people have built the shock absorber to accept defeats, but they don"t know how to take a step further to ride on the back of defeats to victories. This is something achievers trained themselves to do, they don"t just accept disappointments, they react positively to them and use them as platforms to even do better. This for me is the major difference between failure and success in life, you can hardly do anything to avoid setbacks or disappointments but you can do something beyond just accepting things as they are, you can learn how to dig deep within and relaunch to greater heights. It is not profitable to just know how to accept defeats or disappointments without learning how to use them as a way to bounce back even better.
Remember I had explained why humans are slaves to expected outcomes, and this is a major reason why many people never recover from setbacks, they are so stuck into their plan A, so much that when it fails, theyarestuckatapointforever.
The most successful people in life are different, they know disappointments are inevitable in life, so anytime they are about to birth a new thing, they go into them with at least 5 plans. They aren"t slaves to expected outcomes rather they are architects of outcomes. They design outcomes from the beginning, what people ordinarily call plans, for them they are outcomes which they put together on their drawing boards. Yes, without a doubt, plans go awry, or plan C may not be as good as A, but they are never shut out completely, the only thing an achiever needs is a glimmer of hope to relaunch and that"s what alternative planning does for you, it renews your hope and provide a window of opportunity to bounce back from any set back.