""Prognotice," ses the skipper, at least I think that"s the word he said. "You keep perfectly still, an" I"ll go an" mix you up a draft, and tell the cook to get some strong beef-tea on."
"Well, the skipper "ad no sooner gone, than Cornish Harry, a great big lumbering chap o" six feet two, goes up to old Dan, an" he ses, "Gimme that book."
"Go away," says Dan, "don"t come worrying "ere; you "eard the skipper say how bad my prognotice was."
""You lend me the book," ses Harry, ketching hold of him, "or else I"ll bang you first, and split to the skipper arterward. I believe I"m a bit consumptive. Anyway, I"m going to see."
"He dragged the book away from the old man, and began to study. There was so many complaints in it he was almost tempted to have something else instead of consumption, but he decided on that at last, an" he got a cough what worried the foc"sle all night long, an" the next day, when the skipper came down to see Dan, he could "ardly "ear hisself speak.
"That"s a nasty cough you"ve got, my man," ses he, looking at Harry.
""Oh, it"s nothing, sir," ses Harry, careless like. "I"ve "ad it for months now off and on. I think it"s perspiring so of a night does it."
""What?" ses the skipper. "Do you perspire of a night?"
""Dredful," ses Harry. "You could wring the clo"es out. I s"pose it"s healthy for me, ain"t it, sir?"
""Undo your shirt," ses the skipper, going over to him, an" sticking the trumpet agin him. "Now take a deep breath. Don"t cough."
""I can"t help it, sir," ses Harry, "it will come. Seems to tear me to pieces."
""You get to bed at once," says the skipper, taking away the trumpet, an" shaking his "ed. "It"s a fortunate thing for you, my lad, you"re in skilled hands. With care, I believe I can pull you round. How does that medicine suit you, Dan?"
""Beautiful, sir," says Dan. "It"s wonderful soothing. I slep" like a new-born babe arter it."
""I"ll send you to get some more," ses the skipper. "You"re not to get up, mind, either of you."
""All right, sir," ses the two in very faint voices, an" the skipper went away arter telling us to be careful not to make a noise.
"We all thought it a fine joke at first, but the airs them two chaps give themselves was something sickening. Being in bed all day, they was naturally wakeful of a night, and they used to call across the foc"sle inquiring arter each other"s healths, an" waking us other chaps up. An" they "ud swop beef-tea an" jellies with each other, an" Dan "ud try an" coax a little port wine out o" Harry, which he "ad to make blood with, but Harry "ud say he hadn"t made enough that day, an" he"d drink to the better health of old Dan"s prognotice, an" smack his lips until it drove us a"most crazy to "ear him.
"After these chaps had been ill two days, the other fellers began to put their heads together, being maddened by the smell o" beef-tea an"
the like, an" said they was going to be ill too, and both the invalids got into a fearful state of excitement.
""You"ll only spoil it for all of us," ses Harry, "and you don"t know what to have without the book."
""It"s all very well doing your work as well as our own," ses one of the men. "It"s our turn now. It"s time you two got well."
""Well?" ses Harry, "well? Why, you silly iggernerant chaps, we shan"t never get well; people with our complaints never do. You ought to know that."
""Well, I shall split," ses one of them.
""You do!" ses Harry, "you do, an" I"ll put a "ed on you that all the port wine and jellies in the world wouldn"t cure. "Sides, don"t you think the skipper knows what"s the matter with us?"
""Afore the other chaps could reply, the skipper hisself comes down, accompanied by the fust mate, with a look on his face which made Harry give the deepest and hollowest cough he"d ever done.
""What they reely want," ses the skipper, turning to the mate, "is keerful nussing."
""I wish you"d let me nuss "em," ses the fust mate, "only ten minutes--I"d put "em both on their legs, an" running for their lives into the bargain, in ten minutes."
""Hold your tongue, sir," ses the skipper; "what you say is unfeeling, besides being an insult to me. Do you think I studied medicine all these years without knowing when a man"s ill?"
[Ill.u.s.tration: W. W. Jacobs]
"The fust mate growled something, and went on deck, and the skipper started examining of "em again. He said they was wonderfully patient lying in bed so long, an" he had "em wrapped up in bed clo"es and carried on deck, so as the pure air could have a go at "em.
"We had to do the carrying, an" there they sat, breathing the pure air, and looking at the fust mate out of the corners of their eyes. If they wanted any thing from below, one of us had to go an" fetch it, an" by the time they was taken down to bed again, we all resolved to be took ill too.
"Only two of "em did it though, for Harry, who was a powerful, ugly-tempered chap, swore he"d do all sorts o" dreadful things to us if we didn"t keep well and hearty, an" all "cept these two did. One of "em, Mike Rafferty, laid up with a swelling on his ribs, which I knew myself he "ad "ad for fifteen years, and the other chap had paralysis.
I never saw a man so reely happy as the skipper was. He was up an"
down with his medicines and his instruments all day long, and used to make notes of the cases in a big pocketbook, and read "em to the second mate at meal-times.
"The foc"sle had been turned into hospital about a week, an" I was on deck doing some odd job or the other, when the cook comes up to me pulling a face as long as a fiddle.
""Nother invalid," ses he; "fust mate"s gone stark, staring mad!"
""Mad?" ses I.
""Yes," ses he. "He"s got a big basin in the galley, an" he"s laughing like a hyener an" mixing bilge-water an" ink, an" paraffin an" b.u.t.ter an" soap an" all sorts o" things up together. The smell"s enough to kill a man; I"ve had to come away."
"Curious-like, I jest walked up to the galley an" puts my "ed in, an"
there was the mate as the cook said, smiling all over his face, and ladling some thick sticky stuff into a stone bottle.
""How"s the pore sufferers, sir?" ses he, stepping out of the galley jest as the skipper was going by.
""They"re very bad; but I hope for the best," ses the skipper, looking at him hard. "I"m glad to see you"re turned a bit more feeling."
""Yes, sir," ses the mate. "I didn"t think so at fust, but I can see now them chaps is all very ill. You"ll s"cuse me saying it, but I don"t quite approve of your treatment."
"I thought the skipper would ha" bust.
""My treatment?" ses he. "My treatment? What do you know about it?"
""You"re treating "em wrong, sir," ses the mate. "I have here"
(patting the jar) "a remedy which "ud cure them all if you"d only let me try it."
""Pooh!" ses the skipper. "One medicine cure all diseases! The old story. What is it? Where"d you get it from?" ses he.
""I brought the ingredients aboard with me," ses the mate. "It"s a wonderful medicine discovered by my grandmother, an" if I might only try it I"d thoroughly cure them pore chaps."
""Rubbish!" ses the skipper.
""Very well, sir," ses the mate, shrugging his shoulders. "O" course, if you won"t let me you won"t. Still, I tell you, if you"d let me try I"d cure "em all in two days. That"s a fair challenge."
"Well, they talked, and talked, and talked, until at last the skipper give way and went down below with the mate, and told the chaps they was to take the new medicine for two days, jest to prove the mate was wrong.
""Let pore old Dan try it first, sir," ses Harry, starting up, an"
sniffing as the mate took the cork out; "he"s been awful bad since you"ve been away."